Hi everyone
. I am new to the forum, although I admit to having read through the threads on many occasions. I decided to join because I am, undoubtedly, my own worst enemy when it comes to my setbacks and I thought it might be helpful to put it out there. I am 28, 5'4", 162 lbs, and a size 10-12. I have a medium build and have always weighed more than I looked - but I have packed on 20+ lbs in the past few years and it sure as heck isn't because of my "build" or any muscle mass.
So I made the decision to lose weight: Step 1. But I had come accross so much conflicting information that I ended up buying into all of it and became extremely frustrated. Calorie counting or low carb? Cardio just 20 min a day or a minimum of 45? Supplements or no supplements? I was trying to find "what worked for me", but I felt like I couldn't stick to anything long enough to see results, so I couldn't conclude anything except for the fact that maybe I didn't give it enough time to "work".
I just moved to LA and have always wanted to persue a career in singing. I told myself being in LA would be the motivation I have needed to really kick myself in gear. I have a gym membership, I got the fluidity bar for Christmas a few years ago (which I thought would be great because I loved dancing and the "dancer's physique", I signed up for bootcamp and only went twice (early mornings were a killer), so I bought Barry's Bootcamp Dvd, I signed up for the "6 week total body make-over", and I even got a trainer thinking someone with knowledge would be helpful, but realized unless I could motivate myself when I wasn't with the trainer, it was a waste of money. I have spent more than enough money on products and have plenty of options to be successfull sitting in my room as I type. So why can't I do it?
I make jokes (since I'm in LA) that I just don't "hate" myself enough. That seeing all the young pretty girls that are my competition isn't enough of a motivator for me because I don't have low self esteem... but the truth is I AM becoming very dissappointed with myself - even angry at myself - because this is something
I want, not something the industry or anyone else is saying I need to do. I want to be in better shape, I want to be healthy. I want to be successful in my field. It's what
I want... so why isn't that enough?
My own worst enemy...
