Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - When do I get to stop feeling like a fat person?

Does it ever go away? I've lost enough weight now that I am no longer "fat" Still heavy to be sure, I'm wearing 14's instead of 22's... but I have been fat my whole life, and just don't feel like me anymore. I was always a "fat girl" and now seem lost as to who I am.

Is this normal? Does everyone go through this? Am I totally crazy?

I don't think it ever goes away. I am wearing size 2 and little girls size 16 right now. I still feel like I'm fat even though my family thinks I'm way too thin. When I look in the mirror, I see the chubby girl I have always been. I am 44 and this has always been a problem for me.

I've also gone from size 20 to 14 (almost 12). I was telling a friend this same thing last night--I feel like my body is the same and it's the clothes that are changing size. I know that sounds weird. When I look objectively, I know that my hips are slimmer. I can tell that my boobs are smaller and I know by measuring that my waist is smaller. I am moving better and can tell I'm trimmer, but part of me still feels like I look the same, that it's just the tags on the clothing that is changing.

I sound like a mental case, but maybe you guys know what I mean! It's weird that part of my brain understands that I'm smaller, but part of it doesn't.

I feel like my body is the same and it's the clothes that are changing size.

This is so true: I've lost 60 pounds at least 3 times in my life, and each time I do not see that much difference, when I look in the mirror. Taking pics and covering your head with a post-it helps focus on the changes.

I think it is normal, and the closer you get to your goal weight the more changes you will see. It takes awhile for our brains to catch up.

I don't think it goes away either. I'm down to a size 6-8 from a size 22 but when I walk into a store I still think there isn't going to be anything in there that fits me. I'm convinced my thighs are the same size they always were but when I put on my old pj's they fall right off. Someone told me "your brain hasn't caught up to your body" hoping it does soon!

I don't think it goes away either. I'm down to a size 6-8 from a size 22 but when I walk into a store I still think there isn't going to be anything in there that fits me. I'm convinced my thighs are the same size they always were but when I put on my old pj's they fall right off. Someone told me "your brain hasn't caught up to your body" hoping it does soon!


It's funny you should mention PJ's. I nearly walked right out of my jammie pants this morning. Time for new PJ's!

When? Honestly, it has taken me several months. Pictures help. The last month or so I have finally quit "feeling" like I was fat.

I'm in a size 6 down from a size 24/26 so I *know* I'm smaller....I'm just waiting for the thin image to be burned into my brain! The whole feeling is so surreal though.

Does it ever go away? I've lost enough weight now that I am no longer "fat" Still heavy to be sure, I'm wearing 14's instead of 22's... but I have been fat my whole life, and just don't feel like me anymore. I was always a "fat girl" and now seem lost as to who I am.

Is this normal? Does everyone go through this? Am I totally crazy?

I love looking at before pics of me. It helps ground me whenever I think I am too fat now. I don't think that, but it is possible to get to the point where losing weight isn't just enough. It can be a head trip, and you just have to be able to listen to your body. I have never been faster, more energetic than I am now, and I think I could lose a few more, but no pressure on myself until next spring. I think you just have to let go, mentally and physically of holding that weight for as long as some of us have.

Dear AKJenn,
You are no longer a fat person! Seriously!

I think I have the opposite problem... now that I've lost some weight, I tend to think I'm smaller than I am!!! I saw my reflection in the mirror last night and I was like "oh, I guess I still have a ways to go" but I feel thin... for me, I'll really feel thin when I can shop at just about any store (size 14)... getting there

I've also gone from size 20 to 14 (almost 12). I was telling a friend this same thing last night--I feel like my body is the same and it's the clothes that are changing size. I know that sounds weird. When I look objectively, I know that my hips are slimmer. I can tell that my boobs are smaller and I know by measuring that my waist is smaller. I am moving better and can tell I'm trimmer, but part of me still feels like I look the same, that it's just the tags on the clothing that is changing.

I sound like a mental case, but maybe you guys know what I mean! It's weird that part of my brain understands that I'm smaller, but part of it doesn't.

Oh gosh, you don't sound crazy at all! I totally get it! It really does feel like the clothes have changed instead of our bodies! How funny!

I am a size 12. It still seems unreal to me. I remember being an 18 and thinking that if I ever saw size 12, I'd be over the moon. Here I sit today, a size 12, feeling fat. It's all mental, man...

I think that's why I love shopping so much...I tend to see myself when I try on new clothes. I see the thin girl then.

Dear AKJenn,
You are no longer a fat person! Seriously!

I think I have the opposite problem... now that I've lost some weight, I tend to think I'm smaller than I am!!! I saw my reflection in the mirror last night and I was like "oh, I guess I still have a ways to go" but I feel thin... for me, I'll really feel thin when I can shop at just about any store (size 14)... getting there

I think this is common with some of us who have lived a long time overweight because we feel better then we have in a long time so it feels small. I know I felt the same way when I was in the 220-240 range. I felt smaller then I was. Now I pretty much match what's in my head. Bigger then most people would be happy with, but I feel fabulous. :)

I know exactly how you feel. For me, it hit me hard when I was 188- having lost 100 pounds and being lighter than I'd been in my entire life, I expected to be skinny! Not the case- I felt exactly the same as I did 100 pounds heavier (except able to move more). Now that I've lost another 20 pounds, however, I'm starting to feel more like a normal person. Most of the time, I feel chubby rather than fat. I think it was hitting the "overweight" rather than "obese" bmi. You'll hit that point in about 10 pounds, and I bet you will start feeling better then.

This has been a hard one for me to get over as well. As I type I'm awaiting for another load of laundry to dry, and the funny thing is, the last load I just folded and put away were jeans. I seriously pulled out a pair of jeans from the basket, gave them a good shake and thought...who's are these? (Like did my 16 year old niece forget a pair of her jeans when she visited last month?) Took me a brief minute to realize they were mine. I mean they looked so tiny. Back in the old days my size 30 jeans took up most of the laundry basket, and sometimes I still see that girl, not in the mirror, or in pictures, but in my mind. It's weird.

I've also gone from size 20 to 14 (almost 12). I was telling a friend this same thing last night--I feel like my body is the same and it's the clothes that are changing size. I know that sounds weird. When I look objectively, I know that my hips are slimmer. I can tell that my boobs are smaller and I know by measuring that my waist is smaller. I am moving better and can tell I'm trimmer, but part of me still feels like I look the same, that it's just the tags on the clothing that is changing.

I sound like a mental case, but maybe you guys know what I mean! It's weird that part of my brain understands that I'm smaller, but part of it doesn't.

This! I know exactly what you mean. I was looking at my scrubs yesterday and I thought, "My scrubs are getting big." Ummm....the scrubs are the same size as they've always been. My body is getting smaller and more muscular.

Last time I lost a significant amount of weight I had the same problem.
I went from 86kgs to 72, and couldn't really tell the difference.
At my thinnest, I bought some size 12 clothes from Target, thinking they must have made the sizes really big all of a sudden..... I even asked a sales assistant whether that was the case or not! She disagreed. So confusing!

God, the whole thing is so hard isn't it...
Yesterday I tried on a skirt top ensemble that was what I had worn on a New Year's eve about 6 years ago, weighing in at my thinnest ever (at that time...)I am a good bit slimmer now than I was then. At the beginning of last year, weighing 286 I would have been so delighted to wear that, and now it is loose on me, and I still feel really quite big.
I have run out of clothes which I wish I fitted in to, because they all fit or are too big now (am just squeezing in to US 8s)
Do you guys think a lot of it has to do with loose skin and stuff? Ie I am never going to be a bikini clad beauty, might be able to look skinny in clothes, but even if I do bite the bullet and get a tummy tuck, there will still be lots of stretch marks, and then there is the saggy arms and thighs....

I feel exactly the same. I started as a size 24 2 years ago and I am currently at a size 6/7. I still have weight I want to lose, but I fear even when I get to my 'goal weight' I will not be happy. I still find myself reaching for the bigger sizes at clothing stores...feeling self conscience in public...the whole works. I was always a big girl, since I was little...and I think the hurtful things others have said and done to me will always be on repeat in my head. I know that it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about me...but what I think about me isn't all that great and I really wish I could change it. I find my friends/family getting frustrated with me for saying 'I want to lose weight' and that 'I'm flabby' when they are trying to lose weight themselves. I hope that this will get better with time and that I can overcome all of this negative body image. I WANT TO LOVE ME :(

I had the opposite thing happen to me. After being thin most of my life, I gained my weight very rapidly. (Paxil + undiagnosed Hypothyroidism + emotional issues = 75lbs in 8 months) In the first year or two, I forgot I was fat. I was still active because my heart was in shape and I mentally didn't limit myself from activity. I would constantly bump into things forgetting about my hips. I had to re-learn how to dress and eventually the mental side kicked in. I think it took me about three years to feel "fat." I let the weight slow me down, stopped taking care of myself physically and of course it all got much worse. I gained more weight and felt awful. I finally went to therapy and dealt with some of the lingering emotional issues that were there from my thin life and realized what I had been doing to myself. Now I am working to undo all of the damage at the same time that I am trying to lose the weight.

I remember as a young woman being very upset that I was 135lbs instead of 125lbs. Granted hormonal changes were to blame for my "extreme" distress over my weight, but I think I was more unhappy about that 10lbs than I am now with almost 100lbs to lose. Therapy was a huge help. I feel like myself as a thin person now - now I am just living a healthy lifestyle waiting for my body to catch up to my head.

I encourage anyone who is having self-esteem/depression issues to get help. Unfortunately weight loss doesn't equal higher self-esteem. You have accomplished amazing things and are worthy of the changes you have created.

You're not alone.

I have always had excellent mental photoshopping skills, which have not helped me with facing reality.

When I was obese, I was able to convince myself that I was normal, or that selected parts of me were normal.

When I was dangerously thin, I thought I was fat. Years ago, I developed an eating disorder, I kept trying to get below 100 pounds. I did not see my stringy neck, my deep collarbone hollows and my protruding ribs. All I could see was that I wanted my thighs to be smaller in diameter. I seemed to lose my sense of self. Once, I remember riding on an escalator in a crowded shopping mall. I looked up, and there was a shiny brass ceiling overhead, polished to the point where it was reflective, like a mirror. I could not for the life of me figure out which person I was in the crowd -- not till I lifted my hand up & waved. And I was shocked at how thin I was.

Now, my sense of my size wavers all over the place. In exercise class the other day, when we were balancing on our sit-bones, with our legs tucked up in a ball, I thought I was enormous. But later that day, in my full-length mirror in my bedroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in my jeans & thought I looked fairly slender.

I think I'm actually an amoeba, with no bones & no measurable perimeters, and I swell up to large proportions when I am unhappy & dissatisfied, and shrink down when I am contented & happily occupied & not thinking at all about my body. Really.

And yes, to whoever said that trying on clothing is thrilling because it gives you some kind of outward ruler to check where your body is at the moment. I used to think of myself as being like the invisible man, who never had any shape unless he put on a dressing gown & sunglasses, or wrapped himself in linens. Clothes are what teach me what my boundaries really are.

I think I'm actually an amoeba, with no bones & no measurable perimeters, and I swell up to large proportions when I am unhappy & dissatisfied, and shrink down when I am contented & happily occupied & not thinking at all about my body. Really.

Saef, you are so right with that description. If I'm unhappy, I'm fat. If I'm happy, I see a slender chickie in the mirror. It truly is a mind game!

I don't think it ever goes away. I am wearing size 2 and little girls size 16 right now. I still feel like I'm fat even though my family thinks I'm way too thin. When I look in the mirror, I see the chubby girl I have always been. I am 44 and this has always been a problem for me.

Me too. I started at a lower weight than you, but like you my goal weight was 125, a weight I maintained for many years. I thought I would be happy and feel thin if I could get back there. Well I blew past 125 and settled in at 115. This is the lightest I've been since I was sixteen. I'm wearing 2s and 1s and kid's sizes 14 and 16. Frankly I'm amazed that I can fit in those sizes and I'm always afraid when I perusing the racks in the stores that some snooty salesperson will tell me I'm in the wrong section.

Saef, you are so right with that description. If I'm unhappy, I'm fat. If I'm happy, I see a slender chickie in the mirror. It truly is a mind game!


Me too! Interesting how that happens!


However, for the most part I have a very hard time seeing the new me when I look in the mirror. It bothered me so much I did some research on it and it turns out this is common among people like us. It's been dubbed "phantom fat". I found myself nodding my head over and over again while reading about it.

If you are interested, Google it. You'll probably find yourself in what you read there too. It was helpful (for me) to read that others feel the same as I do.

Oh you guys. I so identify. I look in the mirror and get "big girl brain." I think it's kind of an identity crisis when you've been a big girl for years. That's all I know. I don't know how to be or think any differently.

It's such a long progress. But you are absolutely not alone.

i struggle with this too. i am more aware of how big that i am now that i pay so much attention to my body that i am more concious than when i was 40 lbs. heavier and pretended to be like everyone else and that there was no issue. when we are forced to deal with the real issues i think it can be overwhelming if we don't know how to cope. i never admitted i binged or ate more than anyone else, but the weight didn't get there by its self.

but yeah, i look in the mirror and feel thin one day, fat the next, or pictures will totally change my perception. what i determine to be a chubby picture of me now, will be a picture i would have died to see a year ago.

I've convinced myself that all of my clothes that are now too big have been stretched out and it's not because I'm smaller that they fall off me. And if I buy a smaller size in a store, its because that particular item is made differently than the rest and it's not *really* that size.

Oh I can realate to everything that you all say! And boy I am so effected by anything ANYONE says about how or what I eat or I don't need to wach what I ea. My weight comes back so EASY I think that is what scares me. And keeps me from beleveing I am thin I think I will BLOW up and be 45 lbs heavier overnite! I have piers that tell me I don't look different { I know it is a jealousy thing they are all over weight and no one works out} I workout several hours a day and only eat healthy I SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE about anyone else habits I am just a constant reminder {live in small community}
I went from a size tight 14 to 4-lose 6. I am 57. And was Heavy and the big girl always now I am the tiniest and fittest and asking do you have anything smaller? IS THIS REALLY ME???? I feel like an imposter.

Oh I can realate to everything that you all say! And boy I am so effected by anything ANYONE says about how or what I eat or I don't need to wach what I ea. My weight comes back so EASY I think that is what scares me. And keeps me from beleveing I am thin I think I will BLOW up and be 45 lbs heavier overnite! I have piers that tell me I don't look different { I know it is a jealousy thing they are all over weight and no one works out} I workout several hours a day and only eat healthy I SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE about anyone else habits I am just a constant reminder {live in small community}
I went from a size tight 14 to 4-lose 6. I am 57. And was Heavy and the big girl always now I am the tiniest and fittest and asking do you have anything smaller? IS THIS REALLY ME???? I feel like an imposter.


Oh yeah, I do this too! Funny how much a lot of us think alike. At least we aren't alone.

I googled that Phantom fat article and it was SPOT ON! Some days I feel so good and than NOT and boy how I can let a silly # on a scale effect me. Even though I do KNOW one or two pounds are just water flucts... Also I have a body fat scale actully 2 {I have 2 homes} both give me wacky readings. I weigh 128-129 and am very mucsular do not have any visual fat and it says I have 32.5% BF and always has or higher.Even when I weighed more. So that helps keep me CRAZY

I will never stop feeling fat and I hate that.
Why can't we just let ourselves be happy?

I was just talking to someone yesterday about it they are heavier and they knew me then but SEE me this way AND can not understand that I have these kind of feelings. THEY just don't get it . Its nice to have you here to share with.

I've lost 61 pounds (199 woooo!) and EVERYONE has been telling me that I'm thin and skinny (their words). Size 14 (nice fit, no muffin top, even a little loose). I've noticed lately that my face is no longer "round"!!!

But I still don't feel "skinny." I ask people who I am closer with what size they are and I don't feel the same size as them or smaller than them or almost as small as them. I still feel ginormous. My friend had abdominal surgery, she wore a 14 before the surgery and now her 14s are too small (she gained weight and had swelling) and I gave her my pants that I'm too small for. I don't feel smaller than her!

And I see pictures of myself (new ones) and I still see a fat person. I don't see a fat person in the mirror, but see a fat person in pictures. it's weird.

I'm glad I found this thread! I've been struggling with this a lot lately!

When I was younger I was FAT (in my mind...) even though I wasn't fat. But even now, when I look at old pictures, I still look at them with the same eyes I had back then and I see the tiny little bulges that bothered me then. It's only when I find a picture that I haven't seen in a really long time that I can see clearly that I never was fat back then.

But now, I don't really think I'm smaller-- I think clothes are stretching and other people around me are getting bigger-- - and then at the same time I feel so little that I can hardly believe it. It's weird.

I don't think I'll ever know if I look all right. I'll have to choose an objective thing, like BMI and stick with that.

I laugh at old pics of me. I don't think I really relized how much I weighted before until I look back at the pics. I feel the same, I feel like I'm a larger person and people tell me all the time I'm looking great and "look at how much weight you have lost!" but I still feel the same. I still love my self but I don't fell "thin". I think that makes sense.

i had another one of these experiences this week.
my best friend is skinny and always has been. (she's beautiful, and ive always been envious of her).
she and i went jean shopping, and with my fingers crossed i tried on mostly size six jeans, and they all fit :)
She was shopping and starting the the 3's but after awhile was like "i think i need to go find some 4's"
shes only one size smaller than me...but when i look at her i see stick thin legs and an amazing body. When i look at me i see my chunky thighs and fat calves.
I have this huge disconnect. i think that even if i make it into those 4's (thats the size im aiming for) i wont think that she and i are the same size.
its discouraging, to feel like im never going to feel thin.

I for some reason am having a TINY week WHO knows what will frak that out of my head back to FAT.... It is so crazy that was a very good article on the PHANTOM FAT.I just wish it had more exercises and things to help us deal with it. I have been mostly at this weight range for about 2 yr. BUT and thats WHERE the CRAZY in me comes out I gain a couple pounds and I am suddenly mrs GOODYEAR Blimp in my MIRIOR???????

It's very normal, it takes a long time, lots of comments and tons of "Is that really me?" pictures to stop feeling fat.

So strange how our heads play w/ us. And bodies r shaped so differently that weight & the actual vision of our bodies just don't match up sometimes.

At my heaviest I was 230 & lost 50lbs about 5 yrs ago. Have hovered between 200 & 180's ever since. I used to think I'd B happy if I ever broke into the 70's. Now i'm finally in the 60's for the first time in 11 yrs. I'd like to go down to 135. I'm 5'1" or 5'2"...it seems to change each time I measure.

I'm still fat for my height. I hate my body & give myself no credit 4 the progress I've made. Well- meaning people tell me I look great & I can't accept the compliment because that number on the scale is so huge.

At 5'1", how can 165 look slim? I guess in comparison w/ what I used to be....maybe that's what they mean.

Well, major confusion hit when my sister told me that I need to stop losing weight cos I'm not losing proportionately. I'm too thin from my waist up. Which I get cos I wear my 13 yr old son's Boys sz 14/16 shirts. But I'm bottom heavy (tight sz 12, loose 14). So all my weight is in my lower half. (I have tumorous saddlebags that seem more pronounced now that I'm losing weight).

Now I get why people say I look so thin. I'm a bank teller & they only see my slender upper half. This has left me w/ such a confused feeling about my body image.

The fact that bodies r just shaped so differently can make the # on the scale & the # on the tag seem so meaningless. That's why my goal weight is still high 4 my height . Given my tendency to be bottom heavy, I'll never be a sz 6. And so I'll probably always feel like a fat person.

I'll have to learn to love myself regardless of the numbers that like to bring us down!

I was going to post something similar here, so I'm glad I saw this thread!

A few days ago I got on the train with a friend of mine. She sat down first and instead of sitting right next to her, I sat in the next seat. She said "don't do that, sit next to me" and I didn't think I'd fit. Normally, I could never sit next to anybody as I'd always take up too much room.

I still felt like I wouldn't fit even though there was plenty of room.

I think it will take a long time for our mental image of ourselves to change.