100 lb. Club - How can I change the REST of my life?




Alana in Canada
09-27-2009, 01:33 AM
I need practical advice, too. Something to read, something to do, I need somehow to believe that change is possible. How?

If you were one of the ten souls who read the longer version and didn't know what to say--I apologise. The original post was far too whiney--even for me!

well, I'm a bit of a bsaket case tonight--I added the original post back in below.


SwimGirl
09-27-2009, 02:11 AM
I can relate to the lonely thing, not that I had a lot of friends in BC, but since we moved to Manitoba I know even less people.. I have been learning to enjoy my time alone, going for walks, teaching myself new things. Anyways, making friends is hard, and I haven't fully figured that out myself..

I was feeling pretty down last year, and got really stuck about how I don't do anything fun in my life. I was telling this to my mom who then made me make a list of what is fun for me. Taking a bath, talking to my grandma, those were some things on my list. It made me take a real close look at how much fun I DO have in my life, instead of focusing on how boring/pathetic/lonely/unhappy I thought I was. So, what makes you happy? Dreaming of going to the Caribbean? What can you do to make it happen?

I'm not too sure if this was at all helpful..

-Aimee

CLCSC145
09-27-2009, 02:21 AM
I think the first thing is to figure out what you want to change about your life. Is it just to have friends? Do you want to spend more time outside your home? Do you want to be more involved in your community? Do you want to make changes to your marriage? What do you think might make you a happier person?

Figure out what you want, then you can come up with a plan to change it! As for making new friends, I hear you - when you aren't thrown into situations with the same people day to day, like school or an office, it's difficult to make connections. I think you may need to be more persistent with your church friends. Ask someone out for coffee or lunch, get the kids together to play and hang out with the other mom, etc.

I think it's great that you want to make your life more fulfilling. Finding the desire to make a change is a huge step!


sherrybwc
09-27-2009, 02:22 AM
I don't even know where to begin...

First of all, here's the sympathy :hug:

Moving on...

You are completely right...losing the weight is not the magic bullet that will somehow solve all of your problems. It'll make you feel better about YOURSELF, so it is its own reward in that respect.

What I'm getting from your post is just what you said yourself...you're bored and (like me) really have no friends. You wonder if your are depressed...I'm not qualified to discuss that one way or the other, but perhaps someone else IS and will jump in.

It sounds to me that almost ALL of your energies are focused on your home and family...you're a SAHM, home school the kids, take care of the house, and take care of the hubby. What about trying to carve out some time JUST for you? I'm not talking about your dieting, but some quality "me" time?

Me? I'm a hobby junkie...you name it and I've either done it, have the supplies/materials and just haven't got to it yet, or it's next on my list. I also play guitar every day for no one other than myself...it soothes my spirit.

As for the lack of friends, when you figure that one out, please let me know! I often joke that I MUST have a big ol' 666 or something stamped on my forehead that ONLY others can see (that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!).

Keep your chin up, hon...we're here for you!

Sherry

Alana in Canada
09-27-2009, 02:24 AM
Thank you swimgirl!! You were responding while I was getting cold feet about my post.

I really have nothing to be unhappy about or dissatisfied with. I sometimes think that if my life were perfect, I'd be one of those still unhappy because I'd have nothing to complain about! And no, I'm not proud of it. So, thanks.

What is fun for me?

Watching movies.
Walking in weather. (A wind, a snowstorm, anything dramatic gets my blood zinging.)
Going really, really fast--I'm an adrenaline junkie--which might explain a really bad temper.
Reading.
Talking to people--though pretty much everyone I "talk" to is on the internet!
Baking, trying new recipes.
researching just about anything.
Planning. I love to plan--wardrobes, interiors, gardens, living rooms, menus;), but execution? Well, let's just say I'm not the most patient person in the world.

I want to go to Venice again before I die.
That's all.

Alana in Canada
09-27-2009, 02:31 AM
oh migoodeness.

I am so sorry I misjudged you all--or whatever I did to remove my initial post. I guess there was a voice in my head that said, "stop complaining!" And "Don't tell anyone your feelings. No one cares. You don't matter that much."

And here are three lovely heartfelt caring responses--and NOW I feel like I've spit in your faces. So, I'm going to add the content again. (I saved it as part of my journaling.)

************************************
Here it was:

Maybe it's because I'm 45.
Maybe it's because I'm realizing that losing weight and getting a better body will NOT be a magic bullet: it will change my body and my eating and physical exercise habits--but it won't change my kids, my hubby, where I live, my life.

It won't pay off our debt, it won't suddenly allow us to travel further than a five hour drive away, it won't pay for a trip to the Carribean, or even for a fancy dinner at a great restaurant in town.

It won't give me something else to do other than cook, clean, decorate and home educate out kids, it won't cure me of being a bad housekeeper, it won't, in short do anything about the rest of my life.

So, how do I do that?

I'm bored. I'm lonely*. I may be slightly depressed. And everything is just such a struggle at the moment.

Sympathy always appreciated, but I need practical advice, too. Something to read, something to do, I need somehow to believe that change is possible. How?


****************
*about lonely--I have tried reaching out to other women at my Church through Women's Bible studies, but no one has time--truly--everyone is just running to maintain the relationships they already have--there's no room at this stage in most people's lives to make a new friend. So, I have none.
****************

Oh--and I've been fighting head hunger with some success and some failures this whole week. I made a big pot of vegetable soup to "pig out on" but I'm so full right now--yet I want cheesecake! You know the drill. It's just nonsense.

Should I go pedal the stationary bicycle? Use my Sansone video I got out of the library (and which has to go back tomorrow even though I haven't used it ONCE in the two weeks I've had it.) Is the "alertness" I'm going to feel after the workout and which will keep me up for a few hours (it's 10:30 pm right now)--should I do it anyway?

And if I take care of tonight--I still haven't figured out what to do about the REST of it all.

Sorry this is so loooooong!
*******************************************

Really, all I've been thinking about lately is writing a book, making a million bucks and then living out the rest of my life travelling!

PPS: I went and pedalled the stationary bike for 20 minutes--which I should have done hours ago!

Alana in Canada
09-27-2009, 02:38 AM
CC--thank you! You have been so kind to me--ever since my first post. I think of you as a friend.

Finding the desire to make a change is a huge step!

Is it? I suppose it is. I remeber when hubby and I were going through a rough time I was praying he'd want to change things. So, yeah, that WAS huge.

And I regret I didn't join the Bible study happening this time around. I was discouraged--and I'm afraid it may be too late. They've already met twice. What do you think--should I find out?

Alana in Canada
09-27-2009, 02:43 AM
Sherry--I know it looks as if I spend all my time with the house, hubby and kids--but the reality is is that I've been letting things "go" for the past couple of weeks--I do this in cycles. It is part of what needs changing. I've been sleeping late, getting up late--the kids are old enough to fend for themselves--actually, it's kind of embarrassing how much I've neglected them this past week.

I grew up an only child. I have vast resources for entertaining myself. Only lately have I been finding my own company really boring!

toastedsmoke
09-27-2009, 02:43 AM
This will be long because I'm always long but I'll try to make it as short as I can:
First of all it's ok to feel this way. Everyone has these periods of... maybe despair is to strong a word... ok lets say stagnation where it's like what is the meaning of my life, how did I come to this point, this is not how I thought I would be.

It is true that the weightloss will not solve all your life problems. Yes it will improve your health and possibly your self-esteem, but no, it won't fix all the other things going on and it won't unfortunately make your life perfect. However, I've never met anyone whose life is perfect. The best we can do is take each day as it comes and live each day as it comes and try to solve our problems one by one. Ok so now you're on track with weightloss, maybe the Caribbean isn't possible now, but who knows? Maybe you can set that as a long term goal if you want and start putting money away towards that. Maybe say: "for my 50th birthday, I'm going on a Caribbean cruise" or something and seriously investigate that and make that a priority. Same with the fancy dinner (or you could do a fancy candlelit one at home with a fancy healthy menu just to switch things up). Ok my independent life is just beginning and right now I'm responsible only for myself but one thing I know is that we always find money for frivolous small things (like a "cheap" fast-food lunch or a new purse or a pair of shoes) that we could actually save and get something really cool. Maybe I'm being naive, but that's what I've noticed.

About bored and lonely, it sounds like perhaps you're stuck in a rut and you may feel that you are losing yourself (identity-wise with the routine you're in) and maybe a little alienated from others since it seems most of your activities revolve around your home. The women's bible study is a good way to meet people but maybe also getting involved in other group activities that get you away from your home and get you interacting with people. Maybe like a book club or a walking group or something (if you don't have these maybe you could start them in your church or something). I know you say everyone is busy and doesn't have time and this is probably true, but sometimes the best way to really get to know people is to volunteer whether in church or in your community. It's an amazing way to hang out with people and get to know them as well. Also it will give you an outside project to focus on that is not in your regular routine of housework, husband and children.

I'm not one to push "religion" on people as the solution to everything (even though I think it definitely helps) but since you said you were in a bible study, I'm assuming you're Christian too. The idea that I've personally found the most helpful in the entire bible is this one:
Live for what is going on right now and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. Fussing today will not change tomorrow. (If you really want to change tomorrow you make a plan and act). All the stressing and worry in the world won't change tomorrow. Tomorrow will be what tomorrow is. (Paraphrased idea from the latter part of Matthew 6 from about 27-34)

Alana in Canada
09-27-2009, 02:50 AM
Toastedsmoke--thanks for your reply.

I just want to put my head on someone's lap and cry. (OK that sounded very weird. I feel about six, though!)

[get] involved in other group activities that get you away from your home and get you interacting with people. Maybe like a book club or a walking group...

Has anyone started one? How do you do it?

toastedsmoke
09-27-2009, 03:21 AM
I understand completely. I have many moments when I just want to be hugged and to just cry and whine and have someone just understand and not judge me and then wave a magic wand and have everything turn perfect, unfortunately it doesn't work like that. Sometimes crying helps and one just needs a good cry and a little time to wallow, sometimes it doesn't and makes things worse because once you start you feel like you can't stop. (I know that's not very helpful).

About the book club/walking group: I know my local Borders has a weekly book club which I've gone to a few times, and craigslist will probably have a listing of book clubs in your area. As for starting a walking group by yourself, at my old church in Boston, one lady started a walking group (I'm not sure how she did it, probably talked to the pastor or something and got it announced and in the bulletin), but they met on a weekday evening or Saturday mornings fortnightly and initially it was like a women's walk and they were eventually going to do a charity walk for Breast Cancer, but eventually it became a permanent thing and was advertised in the bulletin as like a time to fellowship and a time to get fit. The only one I went on there was a prayer at the start and then we walked like 3-4 miles maybe in like 1.5hrs. You could add elements to it like maybe have ice-breakers (you have to get to know someone you don't already know) or have a few cue discussion topics. Or if you're not comfortable organizing or forming a large group, you could announce in your women's bible study that you're looking for a walking buddy; people may feel they don't have time to hang out or have a cup of coffee but everyone I know wishes they exercised more. Again craigslist may be a resource.

Again if you don't feel ready to start your own thing, getting more involved in church or community volunteering might be a good way to get out there and build a larger social network.

Thighs Be Gone
09-27-2009, 03:45 AM
Alana,

I can only tell you what has worked for me. I think the most valuable thing I can share is to begin "walking in the right direction" and just keep going. Don't worry about the "rest of your life." Think about this very moment. Do something RIGHT NOW that is going to make you feel a weency bit better. How about cleaning the fridge or sweeping the kitchen? If you need time with the kids, then make a plan on Sunday to spend 30 minutes even doing something neat with one of them. Don't let the job ahead of you be daunting. It truly is a journey--for all of us in every respect. I truly believe that God meets us 1/2 way on things. If I do my part, I find he is there for me--just not where I always expect him to be..hehe.

You may also want to consider volunteer work as a good way to meet others. Habitat for Humanity, Meals on Wheels, whatever. Often times when we are helping others, our very best selves are in the forefront--ready to greet the best in other people as well.

Why not find something out of the ordinary you can indulge in. Okay, so maybe the exotic trip is out of the question this year but what about something else doable--indoor rock climbing? belly dancing? yoga? cooking classes? The problem with traveling to escape every day problems is that when you arrive--YOU are still there! :)

I hear you. I get what you are saying.

Institches21
09-27-2009, 03:45 AM
Not to be glib, but are you close to that TOM?? I find, the hormones, make those sad feelings stronger around my special time!!

If I could just suggest, just start over, plan for it, make a decision to just do what it takes to feel better, and only you will know what that is!!

For me, two weeks ago I decided to go back to what works, eating cleaner, {less fat, more whole foods}, exercising, and finding out what are my triggers, and finally, what makes me feel happy one day and sad the next???

Good Luck-I do wish you Inner Happiness

jellyclarkson
09-27-2009, 03:55 AM
I'm new here (first post), and I hope you don't mind me posting, but I was reading your posts and wanted to contribute.

Alana, you sound like a wonderful person. I'm also an only child, so I know what you're saying about being able to entertain ourselves. However, just like you, I get really bored sometimes.

"Thighs" had some great advice. Volunteering is always something that makes me feel a lot better. Also, I agree that you have to live for today. If I spent a lot of time thinking about the future (yikes) or dwelling on the past (double yikes), I'd be crazier than I am right now!

Again, hope you don't mind me posting...

Alana in Canada
09-27-2009, 04:00 AM
Thank you so much for everything, ladies. I need to get off the computer and go to bed--but you are all so wonderful.

I know it may be extremely tedious for others to read through--but I do want to respond to each of the last three post individually--it helps me "focus" and really *hear* what you said. But that will have to wait until tomorrow.

G'night. And thank you.

Alana in Canada
09-27-2009, 04:02 AM
Not at all Jelly!

:welcome3:

Glad to have you.
Now I really need to go to bed! :)

aurorasworld
09-27-2009, 06:45 AM
I understand and I often wonder if it will ever happen. Will I ever get to goal? Will I ever get back to wearing clothes from regular clothing stores? Will I be able to go hiking again? Will I get to begin my dream of mountain climbing? Or is this it? Will I always be this fat and this lonely and this unable to do the things I dream of doing? I am never fat when I dream. In my dreams I climb mountains, I go up the Amazon, which is another dream of mine. And more importantly I am not doing it alone, there is a wonderful companion with me, who loves me despite my bumps.

I am finally learning when I have days like that not to go and burying my woes in a half gallon of Dreyer's. Besides I gave up all animal products except cheese, yogurt and eggs.

It just really seems like something that happens for other people. Not real people like us. It happens to the Jareds and the Biggest Loser winners and the girl on the other weight loss site I belong to who lost 250lbs. I wonder does it happen to me.:?:

Blessings and loving energy,
Ro

SwimGirl
09-27-2009, 07:43 AM
Alana - depending on where you are in Western Canada they do walking clubs at the "Running Room", and have also changed the name to Running/Walking Room", so I'd check into that.

How old are your kids? I was home schooled and to get us being more social my mom met up with some other home schoolers and we went on field trips, the Zoo, tours of random things, cheese factory, police station (this one worked in a dual way, she scared us into being good kids! :lol:), this also gave her a chance to socialize with other adults doing exactly what she was doing.

As for traveling - don't knock only being able to go within 5 hours! I am sure there are MANY wonderful things within those 5 hours to see and do! We used to camp, but made it more fun - we'd camp near a town, go shopping, see movies, and the sleeping in the tent part was just part of it. Also as I got older we stayed in a hostel, in Vancouver, where we got our own room, which locked, and only had to share the bathroom with 1 other person.

How about volunteering? That'll get you out there with people, maybe making new friends, maybe not.. but you never know.

I wouldn't say you are complaining - more like wishing, wanting something more in your life, confused what it might be... talking it out (or typing it out) might be your best therapy, always works for me! So it's a GOOD thing! :) Side note.. Sleeping in - while nice, and often needed, can make me feel down, I like to get up with a purpose, even if it's just to go for a walk for the day gets too hot.

Phew - I was long winded.. and I should be in bed! Hope you are feeling better about your post - it's a good thing to get it out!

-Aimee

Windchime
09-27-2009, 12:00 PM
Alana, I do know how you feel. I got married when I was almost 19 and stayed married for 16 years. Which means I was 35 or so when I got divorced. I'm 48 now. I've been single for 13 years. A good part of that was spent raising my boys, so I had contact with other adults (parents) through school-related activities. I wouldn't call most of those contacts "friends", though. And now that the boys are grown and gone, so are the acquaintances.

Fortunately, I am employed outside the home so I do get a little adult contact there but every evening is the same--I come home and spend it alone. Most of the time I am OK with that, but much of the time I feel just as you do. Like I want to cry. Like I want someone to just come and take care of this 80 year old house for me. Like I could use a good hug or some ..... ummmm...... adult activity, LOL.

So I think that the previous advice was good for both you and me. First off, don't think in terms of absolutes; this isn't "forever" or "always"; it's just right now. And right now, I CAN go clean the fridge, turn on music and dust, or dig out that book and start reading.

Also, I am not going to find friends sitting on my sofa in front of the TiVo. So I really do need to think about volunteering or even taking a class. I usually dismiss this because the activities I like are solo activities; quilting, sewing, listening to music, etc. I posted an ad on the Intranet classifieds at work, asking if anyone wanted to be my jogging buddy. I got zero responses, because most people are just like me--they work and go home.

So I guess my post isn't very cheerful, but I *do* understand and hear you. If I didn't live on the other side of the continent, we could go walking together!

CLCSC145
09-27-2009, 03:33 PM
CC--thank you! You have been so kind to me--ever since my first post. I think of you as a friend.



Is it? I suppose it is. I remeber when hubby and I were going through a rough time I was praying he'd want to change things. So, yeah, that WAS huge.

And I regret I didn't join the Bible study happening this time around. I was discouraged--and I'm afraid it may be too late. They've already met twice. What do you think--should I find out?

I think of you as a friend too! As for the Bible study happening, it's never too late to join in. I say go next time. And as I read your original post, I didn't hear whining at all. I saw you as someone who is realistic about what weigh loss will fix and knows that she wants more than that. We're here for such a short time - there is nothing wrong with wanting more out of life, even if you have things pretty good already. So make it happen!

giselley
09-27-2009, 08:22 PM
I am taking online classes to get a degree in a very in-demand skill. Once I graduate, I plan to pack all my things and move to a great state-- not the one I am in, but somewhere I want to live. It will change a lot of things: my pay will be higher, I will be surrounded by the landscape I love and be able to take long walks and be a part of life more than now. I will have more money to spend and more things to explore. I will be close to my family for the first time in 10 years. I think I will be happier.

Alana in Canada
09-28-2009, 12:35 AM
I am going to respond to each of you--but not individually. I don't want to personalize this. You'll see what I mean (I hope!) in a moment.

I got to thinking about the suggestion made to volunteer--made by more than one of you. Volunteering is a wonderful thing, and I probably ought to do more. I even looked into it a while back (the city runs a web site where organizations looking for volunteers can post the positions they need filling...like a job bank.)

But I'm not looking for ways to keep busy. I am already quite busy. I'm in a funk about my life--about where I'll end up if I continue the way I'm headed.

So, there are specific things I feel would help me feel as though I had a "better" life. This is a change in my circumstances that I can make while the rest of the fabric of my life remains the same. I am not making new cloth, as it were, simply patching a hole.

So, first and foremost, I want a friend to call and chat about my day. Someone who would want to talk to me, too, of course. Trust takes time, though, doesn't it? Time and interest and compatibility. I think I will go back to the Bible study--the next one is in January.

I also think that I need to try a different route: one that supports my "new and improved" physical lifestyle, so I'll see what I can do in that regard, too. Thanks for those quite practical suggestions, everyone! (I'll give the running room a call, too.)

So, how about I set a goal for that. I think a year from now would be a reasonable time frame.

But there's more than one kind of change, isn't there? Sometimes seams get sewn crooked.

I'm talking about internal change, of course. It's essential if the outer world is going to be different. Sometimes the change is of attitude or perspective or beliefs. (I like what Dr. Phil has to say about this.) Sometimes, though, it is quite specific and involves a piece of one's character.

I have to figure out a non expensive way to deal with my temper. Unfortunately, a therapist is beyond our means.

Then there is change which involves one's whole life, like Giselle is planning. One takes the whole cloth--and makes a new garment. It's origins may or may not be recognizable. I've made this sort of change many, many times. And this is the sort of change I was thinking about last night. I can't do that, quite. Not anymore with two kids, a husband and a paid-for house. But I am thinking long and hard about what might effect that sort of change and how I could make it happen.

What do you think? Is there a market for a thoughtful weighloss book by an amatuer?

In the past couple of weeks I've read four such books: Such a pretty fat, by Jen Lancaster, Frances Kuffle's Passing for Thin--amazing!, Finally Thin by Kim Bensen and even The Big Skinny, by Carol Lay.

These are all very different and they all work. But even though there is so little, I'm not so sure there's room n the shelves for another book crying: "Eat Less, Move more!" I mean, really, who wants to hear it?

Couch
09-28-2009, 03:34 AM
I don't think that losing weight will be the answer to all your problems, but, successfully losing weight does involve a lot of change. Can you translate what you are learning about yourself as you change your exercise and eating habits into changing other aspects of your life? I think there are often a lot of parallels between how we deal with similar things in different areas of our life e.g. guilt, perfectionism, trying new things, getting out of your comfort zone, avoidance, denial, routines, time management, prioritising, setting goals.

Suezeeque
09-28-2009, 04:58 AM
If you are the spiritual type you can try reading The Nature of Personal Reality, a book your library probably has. Author: Jane Roberts

It may or may not appeal to you. You can also try meditation and putting out your questions to the universe. Or suggesting that you will find answers to your questions in your dreams, just before you go to sleep.

These things help me to see the purpose in my own experience and my role in creating it. Life experience is not random. You can change it.

JayEll
09-28-2009, 08:18 AM
Alana, Buddhists would say that the nature of life is to feel unsatisfied. It's because nothing lasts forever--things change--the pleasure we had yesterday, or even an hour ago, is gone. Daily life can seem humdrum and repetitive. We want to know "the point." We ask "Is this all?"

So it may help you a little bit to know that what you're feeling isn't unusual.

If you're having outbursts of temper, you perhaps ought to seek some help with that. You might also consider looking into Cognitive Therapy approaches. Books by Judith S. Beck explain what this is and how to go about it. (She is the daughter of Aaron Beck, the founder of Cognitive Therapy.) You can probably find her books at the library.

Interestingly, she is also author of a book about weight loss, The Beck Diet Solution, which has a separate workbook. There is a Beck thread going on 3FC.

I think you're right that what you need isn't just something to keep you "more busy." If you want to write a book, write a book--but I'd say your motivation should be because you are interested in the process, not because you want a bestseller.

These days, it seems everyone has trouble finding new, close friends. Most of my closest friends live far away. I'm lucky to find one new friend every few years. I do think to make new friends, one has to be willing to take part in social activities, and even then, a lot of "sifting" through people is required. I'm not highly social, so that's another reason it's hard for me.

But keep looking around, Alana! Good luck with your search!

Jay

Thighs Be Gone
09-28-2009, 11:18 AM
Hey there. I wanted to mention something about the volunteering. My suggestion wasn't made to give you busy work. My suggestion was actually made (if you want to look at the post again) because it would allow you contact with others that you *might* have some compatability with. You wouldn't even have to do that many hours. Just something.

But, I also think the Bible study is a good idea. Have you ever tried meetup groups. Google your area + meetup groups. If you are near any sizable town, there will most likely be plenty.

One thing I am sure about. If you want to change your destination, you gotta change your path. It sounds like you are trying to best decide how to do that. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

Thighs Be Gone
09-28-2009, 11:19 AM
Jayell--same for me. Every few years I "find" a new friend. But it definitely takes lots of sifting and lots of getting out there.

Alana in Canada
09-28-2009, 03:08 PM
TBG: My apologies. Yes, of course, you're right, volunteering can be a way of meeting people with similar interests. I just didn't read you closely enough.

I have no idea if a book about weight loss would be a best seller or not: I don't really care. I was just thinking about the old axiom, "write what you know." What I really want to do, but have no idea how to go about it, is write a narritive History of Canada for children. But I have no clue how to go about that.

Thanks for that info about Beck. I read Ellis and Beck in my twenties (A Cognitive Guide to Rational Living, or was it a A Rational Guide to Cognitive Living.) Excellent suggestion, thank you.

ETA: I just looked up what the library had written by Judith Beck--only her diet books. So, then I searched for cognitive Therapy. I did find a couple I've requested--and I also found one with THIS title:

How to Want What You Have
Discovering the Magic and Grandeur of Ordinary Existence
Miller, Timothy (Book - 1995)

Isn't that apropos? ;)

Thighs Be Gone
09-28-2009, 05:43 PM
Alana, no apologies necessary at all! Thank you though for posting one. :) Mary

boomer in paradise
09-28-2009, 07:51 PM
I urge you to check out MARTHA Beck`s writing, especially Finding your North Star. Actually do all the exercises. That in and of itself will require a lot of writing and research ( on yourself).

SwimGirl
09-29-2009, 12:40 AM
I have the Martha Beck book Finding Your Own North Star... the exercises are hard, infact, her and I are not on speaking terms until she asks some easier ones ;) But my brother did all of them, he found them very helpful.

-Aimee

Alana in Canada
09-29-2009, 01:14 AM
oooh, Martha Beck! I have read her books--but I haven't really done the exercises. They felt very "New Agey" to me--and at that time I felt really uncomfortable (like spiritually uncomfortable) with them. Perhaps that has changed. It was the Four Day Win, I think, which was the worst.

cfmama
09-29-2009, 02:18 AM
The exercises ARE very new agey... and if you are not into it it can be weird.

I'm sorry that I have not been here for you for the past couple of days. Weird relationship things going around (very weird... I'm not going to go there.) I'd read ANYTHING you wrote ;)

Alana in Canada
09-29-2009, 03:12 AM
Right back atcha, Mama, thanks! I would be thrilled to read whatever you wrote, too. Seriously. If you want a reader for that book of yours, let me know.

Weird real life relationship woes, eh? 'nuff said. :hug:

ETA: I'm going to head upstairs now, I'm reading a book on sleep hygiene--and it has a chapter all about how sleep can help my weight loss. I hope it's not too exciting!

JayEll
09-29-2009, 08:23 AM
Judith Beck's books are not New Agey--I think you'd find them interesting and helpful.

Jay