Metabolic Research Center - Like A Run Away Train




View Full Version : Like A Run Away Train


kccross
09-21-2009, 06:24 AM
The past few days I have been so far off program. Stress, anger and pain induced. When I got my period I knew I was at risk of going off program, but then my soon to be ex-husband tells me he is moving in with the woman I thought he was having an affair with when he first left. They are 'just' room mates. Yeah and I'm 'just a bit' over-weight.

Then a very, very dear family friend was put on Hospice care and she past away Saturday night. It's been a blur of pasta, bread, cookies and candy. I just kept eating and eating trying to make myself feel something other than anger and pain.

Of course we all know that just made it worse. As far as I can tell I've put on 8 pounds. Yesterday I swore I'd get back OP, but then I got the call that Arlene had past. I still have to call my father and other sister and tell them once I find out funeral arrangements. They are both on vacation.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this here. I know I should put this behind me, do this for me, for my kids... I'm just so scared I'll revert back into my room with a bag of candy.

How do you deal with so much AND stay OP?


Mom2QJandT
09-21-2009, 08:49 AM
Two mantras for the emotional eater:

"I cannot control what other people do, only how I react"

and

"If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution"

I'm sorry about your friend. Make today a new start and go for it!

Dolly
09-21-2009, 09:11 AM
I am so sorry about your difficulties. Give yourself time to grief and be angry. Then think about the positive changes in your life and you'll be back OP in no time.

Think about the things you CAN do and act accordingly.


reuselady
09-21-2009, 09:12 AM
The past few days I have been so far off program. Stress, anger and pain induced. When I got my period I knew I was at risk of going off program, but then my soon to be ex-husband tells me he is moving in with the woman I thought he was having an affair with when he first left. They are 'just' room mates. Yeah and I'm 'just a bit' over-weight.

Then a very, very dear family friend was put on Hospice care and she past away Saturday night. It's been a blur of pasta, bread, cookies and candy. I just kept eating and eating trying to make myself feel something other than anger and pain.

Of course we all know that just made it worse. As far as I can tell I've put on 8 pounds. Yesterday I swore I'd get back OP, but then I got the call that Arlene had past. I still have to call my father and other sister and tell them once I find out funeral arrangements. They are both on vacation.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this here. I know I should put this behind me, do this for me, for my kids... I'm just so scared I'll revert back into my room with a bag of candy.

How do you deal with so much AND stay OP?
Be sure you keep your water with you - and drink it. I fill the 10 -12 oz plastic bottles with tap water that I've run through my Brita filter, refrigerated them in the coldest part of the frig' so they get a few ice crystals - I find I don't like to drink water unless it is really cold. As soon as I drink one up, I refill it and get another cold one.

You might also eat something other than your old 'comfort' foods. If you like celery, cucumbers, even red or green peppers or slices of lunch meat or string cheese, grab those when you are tempted to grab cookies or candy. You are so new on this journey that you have not broken the habit so substituting something that will not have the calories nor keep the craving up. You need to keep sugar out of you body for 3 to 4 days before you will stop craving it. With so many things crashing down around you, eating extra veggies or protein will not hurt as much as eating the carbs. Once life stabilizes, you can work on breaking the habits of going to food for comfort.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend, and the loss of your marriage, especially with children. Do take the time to cry - watch a tearjerker movie and cry your eyes out to that if you are having a hard time crying. You are right, you need to feel something, but you mourn these losses so you can move on. We are here for you, Kathy. :grouphug:

jeanette

nabeelmalik
09-21-2009, 10:48 AM
sorry to hear about your troubles. I have gone through something horrible a couple of months ago as well. I know what it is to see your world litterly fall apart and have the feeling that you are alone and all you want to do is find comfort somehow. Food can be that comfort at that point.

Dont beat your self up over it, please. If you do that you will be sucked into a spiral of bad emotions and it will keep going into an endless void. Just let it all happen. Grief, let it out, be angry.

As stupid of a saying as it is: But time is your only true friend in life. It teaches you how it can move on and lessen the burden of the wonderful thing called life.

Just dont get dis-heartend and let it all happen.
\

GWE140
09-21-2009, 11:20 AM
I am very sorry for both your losses. Losing love ones is one of the most difficult experiences to live through. Having the loss of a husband through separation can be just as difficult as having a friend lose her life. I am truly sorry for you. Life comes at us sometimes with so much force it is hard to decide which was to go, to hide or to shine. My stepfather of 35 years died of Megalomania during my senior year at college (second degree at age 38) it was so emotionally draining as I would drive 4 hours both ways every Friday evening to see him and drive back Sunday night...4 kids in tow...and homework...Of course at that time I dived into food as this was my only coping mechanism...gained another 15 to 20 that year...MRC has given you tools to help you through this extremely difficult time, please give yourself time to grieve for both losses and pick yourself up and live for you...

Lori123321
09-21-2009, 12:00 PM
:hug:
Today is a new day and a new chance to be good to yourself. Take the time to heal, treat yourself the way you would treat a precious friend. Losing someone close to you is devistating. Take the time to honor that person and your relationship with them. I lost a dear friend a few years ago unexpectedly. I took some time to draw a beautiful (in my eyes) picture of her walking through heaven and angels were explaining everything she had gone through. It will never win any award or hang in any gallery but even my kids, who were very young at that time, remember that picture and found it the other day when things got rough.
Divorce sucks, even when you know in your heart that this is the best thing. Again, allow yourself to feel the emotions you are going through. Food can numb those feelings just like alcohol or drugs. If we numb these feelings, we just don't seem to get through them. They haunt us forever. And later, we have to deal with these old emotions when they rise up again as well as whatever we are going through at that time. It never happens at a good time.
We are all here for you. Drink some water, when you are ready, take control of what you can control. You are strong enough to get through this and come out the other end a more beautiful confident woman.

Karen1234
09-21-2009, 10:15 PM
kccross,
I am so very sorry for your losses, of both your friend and your marriage. Grieving for both of these can be so overwhelming and I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. The truth is as you probably already realize, you're resorting to your old friend, a source of comfort you've used in the past, you're old friend "food" but don't let it deceive you, it is not your friend and has instead been a temporary way to soothe away the pain but has brought you more unhappiness and unhealthiness over time. Take the time to take note of why you're eating, what you're eating, how you felt when you ate it... write this in a journal and look back on this every day. How often did you eat because you just didn't want to feel anything at all and you just want to fill a void but you're not always sure what that void is?
Don't let food run your life, don't give it that kind of power. Take charge of your life and the choices you make. Dig deep, try to find the reasons for eating and deal with these in a different way. Losing this weight is for you, not for anyone else. Does it effect others? Yes, ofcourse. But this is your dream, your future, your life, your health and you deserve so much better than what food is currently giving you. Do something nice for yourself this week, something you really enjoy besides food. Make a list of all the reasons you want to lose weight, what you want to accomplish with losing the weight and post it on your fridge, mirror, in the car, at the front door. Read it everyday and ask yourself which means more, the dreams on your list or the food you are thinking of eating instead. Remind yourself that resolve comes from within and then... resolve to get past this hurdle and do it without food as your crutch. You are stronger than that! You deserve more than that!!
Don't be afraid that you can't do this... you can... ask Namaste, she can tell you firsthand that you can do this... tomorrow is a new day, start fresh and move forward :0) We're here for you kccross.