100 lb. Club - I just need some support




View Full Version : I just need some support


JennLin
09-14-2009, 10:14 AM
Hey everyone! I have to say alot of your stories and progress is very inspiring.. I have been looking around for over a week and for those of you who don't know me (which is probably most! lol I have only posted a few replies here and there) I am in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy, my son is due December 6th. I also have another son who is 15 months old. 6 years ago I lost 70lbs and felt wonderful. Two years ago I married my husband (the best man EVER) who only knew me as being thin but saw pictures of me growing up heavy. We got pregnant on our honeymoon and I then became very sick... was eventually put on bed rest... had my son 5 weeks early. During that pregnancy I gained ALOT of weight. My son was 8 months when I tried to lose weight because it took me that long to cope with the fact I had gained THAT much weight in that short of time and there really wasn't alot I could do about it.

I lost about 10-15lbs when we found out we were pregnant with baby #2. We were very happy, but at the same time my weight is always in my mind. With my first I never weighed myself (thats why I was SO shocked when i discovered how much I gained). This time I have been keeping track of my weight and in 28 weeks I gained 10lbs. So I am happy with that... however I am just very frustrated with my weight... not just frustrated... becoming increasingly depressed about it. :( I am fine until I see pictures of myself... but there isn't anything I can really do about my weight until I have this baby. I have been getting a plan together so I can lose the weight I want when he is born, but I have three more months of dealing with being so heavy and my stomach is only going to get larger as this baby grows. I just need any support you can give because it is becoming more and more overwhelming to be heavy without being able to do a thing about it. :(


gardenerjoy
09-14-2009, 10:55 AM
You are doing things about it! Good for you for getting a plan together.

Do you like to read? I'm a librarian, so I'm always recommending books. This would be a great time to read about healthy foods and about the part of weight loss that happens in your brain instead of your body.

My favorite brain books are the ones by Judith Beck. You could be working on her techniques right now and have lots of stuff in place for after the baby is born.

My favorite healthy foods books so far are the SuperFoods books by Steven Pratt, The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth by Jonny Bowden, and Super Natural Cooking by Heidi Swanson. They all disagree with each other on some points -- but I figure that just frees me up to make my own choices!

All the best for you and your baby.

Beverlyjoy
09-14-2009, 11:02 AM
Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. She/he might have some healthy suggestions on what and how to start now. Now you need to take care of your baby and yourself. After the birth - it IS possible to lose that weight. And you know 3FC will be here to cheer you on and help you the best way we can.


JennLin
09-14-2009, 11:24 AM
I actually talked to my doctor about it as soon as I became pregnant. I told her my weight gain with my 1st really devistated me and I was trying to lose weight when I first discovered this pregnancy. She told me that outside of trying to be healthy, there isn't a whole lot that can be done about it because with some women, weight gain is inevitable due to how thier body responds to it. When I was pregnant with my 1st, I didn't think it was a license to eat or anything.. I ate like I did before I got pregnant (which is what I used to maintain my weight for 4 years after losing it)... sometimes I ate less cause I just didn't feel like eating. The only thing was the last 2 months or so I was only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom thanks to good old bed rest and having high blood pressure. Granted I broke that rule alot because I am too ancy to do NOTHING... but I was ALOT less active. My doctor knows all of this... this pregnancy the weight gain has been so much better.. but overall its just hard. I am getting depressed about it and I know I shouldn't be. My husband tells me i am beautiful constantly and I am blessed to soon have 2 beautiful baby boys... but I just don't like what I see in the mirror... I'm not happy with me.

bcort
09-14-2009, 11:51 AM
I understand how you feel - my third pregnancy (unplanned) came on the heels of me finally shedding my 2nd pregnancy weight & really getting back into shape. I agree with the first reply - use the rest of your pregnancy eating right, learning about nutrition, getting a plan ready so after the baby is born you will be ready to start losing the weight. For now, forget about the weight, don't look at a scale until you can do it without freaking out. Concentrate on eating healthy so the baby gets what he needs & your body can take care of him. After he's born, if you breastfeed, it will help kickstart the weightloss in a big way.

Attitude is everything. You've got the right attitude, so the baby weight is not going to be forever - it WILL come off, you just can't lose it now.

You are pregnant - you are beautiful - your body is doing the most amazing thing in the world. Don't fight it now - enjoy the experience. And even take photos so you don't forget this time!

JennLin
09-14-2009, 03:32 PM
The actual numbers aren't really the big of a deal to see anymore.. because I am able to separate emotions from them... but when I see pictures of myself right now.. thats that hardest part. Especially when I look at pictures from my wedding just two years ago and see how wonderful I looked.. even being slightly heavier than I wanted... feeling bad about my size was prompted from when i saw pictures from my nephews 1st birthday yesterday..I really really hope they were just bad angles... but i doubt it.

Alana in Canada
09-14-2009, 04:55 PM
:hug:

You really sound quite depressed, right now. I'm sorry. Even though I was over 200 lbs when my daughter was born (and the heaviest, at that time, I'd ever been) I was amazed at the miracle my body performed while pregnant. I hope you can apprecitae it, soon, for how wonderful it really is: but that might not come until you hold the little one in your arms!

I do understand.

I second the recommendation to read up on nutrition and eat healthy food! Two books that have really helped me are: In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan and, even better, Food Matters by Mark Bittman.

findingfawn
09-14-2009, 10:56 PM
Hi there, welcome to 3FC!

Not long ago, I was in your shoes... well somewhat. I have this crazy thing that I really don't gain weight from a pregnancy.. my first I started at 195, delivered at 196 and was 163 2 weeks out. I was back up to 195 pretty quickly, which was my standard weight (that was my eat what ever I want to weight.. it never seemed to change). Then 4 years later my life went crazy, I left my abusive ex, started planning how to make my way in the world as a single mother and then within 2 weeks I was with my now hubby. We had a crazy whirlwind romance and were married within a few months. In that time my weight was going up. Right after we married, I quit smoking.. here comes a big gush of weight. Right after I had the no more smoking under control, we decided it was best if I quit my job so I could focus on my son... another gush of weight. Then I got pregnant and gained a bit, but not much... maybe 15 pounds, then I got pregnant again right away (my babies are a year and a day apart!). Let me tell you, 2 babies in a year will destroy a body in a hurry!!! We just had our 4th baby, the 3rd in 4 years! I was thankful not to gain at all this pregnancy.. in fact I lost, but all the other weight was/is still sitting there.

Now with a nursing 4 month old, I'm working my butt off to get rid of this horrid baby belly and all the extra weight from everything else. I'm doing it... and so can you. We are all here for you.

TaraLee
09-14-2009, 11:38 PM
:hug: :hug: :dust: The dust is for after DS is born!!

You've gotten great advice here so I'm dropping in to lend a hug and some empathy. I totally know where you are coming from. I hadn't put my weight on till my pregnancies either (both bedrest from the 14th week till delivery) and so I really, really, really relate to you. The only thing I could do was affirm to myself that I was doing what was best for Baby, and for me, that was all that mattered at that point and I wasn't careful about what I ate (but I was so large by that point I had zero gain and you couldn't tell I was preggers :( that depressed me.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
Your doing awesome!! You've made a plan, watched your weight really well and your coming here for needed support!! :hug: Take a lil time for you and that precious belly (think prenatal massage...ahhhh)!!
Oh and congrats on bundle of joy #2!!