30-Somethings - Single in a married world




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me1st
09-02-2009, 10:39 PM
Hello,

Anyone out there having the 30 something blahs where it feels like everyone you know is married with kids? Trying to keep busy and not to eat my boredom away tonight:bubbles: I am trying to stay positive and get out of my shell by joining some things in my community but, it's not possible everynight. Tonight feels like a Sunday. any suggestions out there?


Marms
09-02-2009, 11:08 PM
Same here. All my friends are married and no longer go out. It's pretty depressing to be the last single friend. I do end up doing thing alone a lot. Have you tried meetup.com at all? I joined some hiking groups from meetup.com. It's nice to get out and meet some new people.

walking2lose
09-03-2009, 12:51 AM
I am 41 and very happily married for 5 years. BUT, I have no kids, and most of my friends do, so I get the feeling. I know it's not the same because I do have my husband, but I often feel like the odd one out - lots of conversations and social events now revolve around kids.

Hang in there.


UniquelyNormal
09-03-2009, 10:06 AM
Just because we have kids doesn't mean we don't want to go out. I am always looking to do stuff but never get invited anywhere because people assume that I MUST stay home with the kids. Umm no, although I do have a pretty rockin DH so we take turns.

I'll go out with you!! :) :)

willa
09-03-2009, 01:48 PM
I am 29 and I don't have kids, and not planning on having before 4-5 years.
I understand how you feel because around me either they are getting married or they all have kids/planning on having.

I'm sooo not into the baby/wedding talk... I must be a boring person to them hahaha

squeak351
09-03-2009, 01:56 PM
Willa.. you are never boring! lol Who can be boring with an avatar like you have... lol :D

bcort
09-03-2009, 02:11 PM
I envy at times my single friends who have the freedom & money to travel & do things that I can't. I love being married & having children, but I try not to talk about it to singles because they tend to be bored by such talk. So, to the single who thinks they're boring to the married folks, I suspect it's the other way around.

And, just because I have kids, doesn't mean I can't eat from boredom, too.

I don't mean to downplay your feelings at all, just adding a different perspective.

willa
09-03-2009, 04:05 PM
Willa.. you are never boring! lol Who can be boring with an avatar like you have... lol :D

Hahah thank you that's sweet

Yeah I know, I'm not a boring person, but when people start on babies and weddings around me, I get easily bored and wont talk really... I see no interest in there for the moment... ok I lied. I do Wedding makeups, that's one interest :p

freckfrecks
09-05-2009, 03:13 PM
Me1st- I totally understand how you feel. I just turned 30 last Monday, and pretty much every one else I know is married or married with kids, and it definitely gets me down from time to time.

TracyB73
09-06-2009, 10:49 AM
I'm 36 and have been married once, now I am with a wonderful man we have been for six years and I am waiting for him to pop the question, all my friends around me are married, and I work in a place that sells wedding supplies and seeing all these women buying things for their weddings makes me so frustrated that he hasn't asked me yet. Yes I do know how you feel.

talesfromafatgirl
09-07-2009, 11:06 AM
Hmmm, interesting how we all have a similar prospective although on opposite sides of the issue. I moved out of state, away from all family and friends. It was very hard and took about 3 years to find another group of friends. I a total introvert but I knew I had to join groups to meet people and did lots of community education things and never said no when anyone asked me to do things. I quickly overwhelmed myself but got better at trying new things. Try something like that.

DogMomNP
09-07-2009, 11:24 AM
I am 41 and very happily married for 5 years. BUT, I have no kids, and most of my friends do, so I get the feeling. I know it's not the same because I do have my husband, but I often feel like the odd one out - lots of conversations and social events now revolve around kids.

Hang in there.

HI Claire,
I hear you on this. We don't have kids and don't want any, and I feel like a lot of friendships are fading b/c everything revolves around the kids (and rightly so, I'm not critical of the parents, it's just one of those things).

Jamiekins
09-07-2009, 11:32 AM
I am 29 and have been divorced twice. I am a single mother of a awesome six year old. I have no single friends that want to go out and do stuff. I know how you are feeling it's a bummer.

Violin Jenn
09-07-2009, 07:21 PM
Me1st,
I've been away from this forum for a while, but I'm back! This thread was thie first I read. I understand completely! :hug: I'm 35, single, not dating and no kids. Not sure I want kids either, I could be happy with or without them.

I joined Meetup.com and do a few things there, I'm on hiatus from school ( I went back a year ago, but since I'm a temp with no tuition reimbursement at the moment can't afford to go back). But I try to find things to do that are free or minimal cost near home, but's hard. A good amount of my friends and I went our separate ways because they are marrried with kids and don't want to do anything on thier own.

It's a shame we all live so far apart! If we lived close we could plan some get togethers. I live near Philly in Levittown PA.

Hang in there!:hug::hug::hug:

Jenn

kaebea
09-08-2009, 12:51 AM
I'm definitely the last single person from my group. over the past month or so though i sort of severed ties with the last girl i still hung out with because it seemed to be turning into less of a friendship and more of her taking advantage of me.
So i've come to the realization in recent months that all my friendships have fizzled for some reason or other.
i'd like a few friends to hang out with, male or female. i just am not sure i feel like investing the effort right now.
it's not that i'm unhappy to spend time on my own. but when i hear what other people did for their weekend, i feel inadequate in some kind of way. Like i'm doing my weekends 'wrong' or something :)

have you looked up old friends on facebook? i've contemplated reuniting with a few high school girl friends or grade school buddies.

twisterella
09-08-2009, 11:06 AM
I am 29 and I don't have kids, and not planning on having before 4-5 years.
I understand how you feel because around me either they are getting married or they all have kids/planning on having.

I'm sooo not into the baby/wedding talk... I must be a boring person to them hahaha
Lol! Join the club... it seems as soon as one of my friends gets married andother gets engaged so all we do is talk about wedding plans. Yawn!

willa
09-08-2009, 12:04 PM
Lol! Join the club... it seems as soon as one of my friends gets married andother gets engaged so all we do is talk about wedding plans. Yawn!

Omg... even my sister started talking wedding last week

I did this face :fr:

me1st
09-09-2009, 01:46 AM
Thanks so much to everyone for their great advice and perspectives! I have been away for a couple of days so haven't logged on...nothing exiting, a work thing! booo. and then got sick...booooo
Don't get me wrong, I love hearing about my friends and their kids..but after hour two....it would be nice if the conversation was between two people! ya know?!

It's good to hear that others are sometimes in the same boat. It gets harder to get out there when you are alone but I will try some of your suggestions.
hugs to everyone!
Heather