LA Weight Loss - Friends and Losers August 24th-30th




sweetandspicy
08-24-2009, 10:10 AM
Good Monday Morning to you all!!! I just could not wait to report that according to the BMI Charts I am not longer Obese just over weight. I know that may not seem like much but when I log on to Dailyplate to calculate my calories, I have a chart that shows my weight loss and today when I looked my BMI had changed. So I am happy with that. I did not eat well this last week mainly due to TOM but I did somehow manage to loose one pound. However I am feeling particularly heafty today so that bad week is slowly catching up with me. It still amazes me that the fat always catches up with me. I am back on plan today eventhough I grabbed my husbands container and not mine I am still only eating the veggies and beef. That potato will haunt me though.

Exercise has also been few and far between but I did manage to finish day 3 of level 3 of the shred so that is something. I have got to get back on track!!!

Have a great day!!!!!:carrot:


JerseyMadchen
08-24-2009, 11:24 AM
Morning Amy!! That's sooo Awesome!!! COngrats!!

Morning guys!

Not much going on this week, still looking for a job. Am coming down with what my husband had last week, sore throat and all. Yey. At least I'll get it out of the way by Saturday when we go to the BEACH!!!!

chiquita623
08-24-2009, 11:43 AM
Good Morning AmyM and JerseyAmy. And to whoever else shows up on this board later.

Congrats Amy on the BMI. That has to make you feel good about yourself!!

Not much new to report with me. Went to the zoo with 5 of the grandkids over the weekend. Walked a ton. My feet were burning by the time we got done. But it was a beautiful day and it really didn't hurt me to walk!! Didn't do much yesterday but laundry and stuff so that I don't have to do much this week after work.

Just wanted to pop in and say hi to everyone. I'll be back later. Be good to yourselves today. You deserve it.


BarbaraB
08-24-2009, 01:29 PM
I got up this morning and did the Shred. I definitely felt that!

Clanori
08-24-2009, 01:39 PM
Had a great weekend.Hubby took me to Rocky Ford.Came home with over 300 pounds of veggies.Made 60 jars of salsa yesterday.Will work on spaghetti sauce tonight.I love canning my own food then I know what go's into it.It is also lower in calories because I can control the sugar in it.I am also excited I lost 2 pounds this week.Hope everyone is having a great week.

JerseyMadchen
08-24-2009, 02:12 PM
So, day #1 of OP for me... and I am getting sick which is making it difficult. I am sucking on a Ricola right now, trying to get my water in, and cleaning the place. My brother's girlfriend is visiting on Tuesday or Wednesday and my Mom is coming Friday, so I've been cleaning!!

I found a chart for walking from a WW magazine that I am going to use for te next 8 weeks. I like structure and such, so this is ideal for me. It starts out with walking1/2 mile in 10 minutes, with 4.5 miles walked in the first week, up to like 8-9 miles at the end. I am excited to start it and to continue with it next week at the beach.

Back to cleaning!

Mama Nicole
08-24-2009, 02:45 PM
Good day friends,
AmyM.......congrats on the loss and the workout. You ARE back on track....no need to worry. You have had a steady trend of losing, so don't get down about it now......each day is new, and so far, you are already kicking a$$ :) Be proud of yourself :)

WTG JerseyAmy.....let us know how the walking goes.....and what a fab attitude you have today. I hope you feel better soon.l

Laurie....how fun to take the kids to the zoo. It is so enjoyable to me to see their faces light up at such smple things.

Barbara......WTG on the Shred. I haven't done mine yet today, but I will......I have to doubt. It's just that time thing for me. I do think I will try to get up early tomorrow and get it out of the way first thing.

Lori......congrats on your loss as well. What a great start to the week, ladies.

Well, I have been doing really good with eating healthy and working out..but I am still without a sclae. I may buy one this weekend, but it is kind of nice not having one.........well, not really......but kinda........anyway, I am quite curious to see how I have done lb wise........but I won't really know for sure, as I don't have a starting WI for a new sclae.....but we'll see.

Ok, have to change the laudry, and try not to take a nap....ha ha ha.
XOXO

chiquita623
08-24-2009, 02:59 PM
Ohhhhhhhhhh - a nap. Sounds like bliss to me!!

Kristinx
08-24-2009, 03:00 PM
Hi everyone, I'm around, sticking to plan on weekdays anyway..weekends have been a frenzy of family get-togethers, camping etc...and then now I get into all this going away for work stuff what with strategic planning for next year so I am doing what I can when I can and trying not to stress too much on the off days! We had a small hurricane hit up here yesterday..no major damage so it was fun! Made for some nice surfing waves anyway!
Still getting some walks in for exercise, but that's the extent of it.

Amy, do you know where I can find that walking program? I'd like to get some structure to my walking routine too!

Kimphin
08-24-2009, 03:45 PM
Please stop mentioning naps. I've been at work since 5am, and I have class from 7-10:30PM tonight. I would commit sins for a nap.

chiquita623
08-24-2009, 03:54 PM
Nicole started it Kim.

JerseyMadchen
08-24-2009, 04:58 PM
Kristin- It was in an old WW magazine, but I will type it up in excel and send it to you. You can format it to your liking....

JerseyMadchen
08-24-2009, 05:00 PM
So, I have been thinking... why don't we start a COD thread? We're just as good as the counselors there! Actually we're better! We are understanding of each other, yet know what we're supposed to be doing.

I am big on structure like I said earlier, and I LOVE excel. I could make up a template for each of us...

Just an idea, let me know what you guys think!

Mama Nicole
08-24-2009, 05:02 PM
Ok, ok, I'm awake.....dang!!!! One of the very few, tiny perks my job has. Every now and then, the planets align in such a way that the baby is sleeping and the boy is tired enough to lay down with me. And mind you, it is not always the most relaxing type of nap......today it entailed several ..perfectly timed toe nudges to the tummy. They weren't painful......just enough to wake me :) But I will admit.......it still felt pretty good......and I must have needed it, cuz I even dreamt. :) I think all employers should give their workers a half hour nap and a 10 minute snack time each day......people would be much more porductive .

chiquita623
08-24-2009, 05:16 PM
Nicole - don't you just love how I blamed it all on you???? I know my employer would frown on me taking a nap daily. Darn.

sweetandspicy
08-24-2009, 05:17 PM
Great Idea about the naps Nicole- a mandatory siesta of sorts. It could catch on..

Amy- I think that is a great idea and have a weigh in on Mondays where we can post our gains and loss and if a gain evaluate the last weeks food and exercise intake and if a loss recoginze our efforts and continue on plan??

JerseyMadchen
08-24-2009, 05:22 PM
That walking plan I am talking about I have as an Excel document. Message me your email address if you want it!!

Mama Nicole
08-24-2009, 05:25 PM
lol, yeah, Laurie.........I was laughing :) I'm sure Kim was too!

JLem311
08-24-2009, 06:40 PM
hello all. sorry i've been scarce today. this is my first week back to having Jag with me all day long and then going to pick Julia up from school. i'll be doing this again mon-thurs so they don't have to go to daycare. :) last school year i hung out with Jag at former DH's house and also cleaned (he paid me for it too!) but now that i've got Xanthia to take care of too, it's easier to have him at my house. sooooo...that's what's been occupying my time today. that and being exhausted from the weekend...it's been a rough day.
but the wedding went well. i have a few pics, but don't have time to put them on the computer right now.

Julia is passed out on the couch, and X is doing the same but in her carseat still..and Jag hasn't napped yet but for a few mins in the car on the way to the school..so he's of course tearing the place apart and causing a ruckus.

so i gotta go. oh and i am back to the Shred, after my weekend off. :)

Mama Nicole
08-24-2009, 08:42 PM
Whooohooooo, Jillian.........on the shredding ;)

Mama Nicole
08-24-2009, 11:32 PM
15 days shredding and counting.......if I can get this knee to hold up!!!!

sweetandspicy
08-25-2009, 10:09 AM
Good Tuesday to you all.. I am so proud of all the shredders. I finished Day4 of level 3 and wish I could do all the exercises the way that Natalie and Jillian do them, but the traveling push ups and the last ab plank move do me in. I am keeping with it though. Andrew is still doing well with the shred too he was doing kicks last night and I have to clap everytime he does them it is quite adorable. I have one boy down with the flu he is over the worst part but was so run down for about 3 days. I am just praying the others do not get it. I have been cleaning like crazy to try to kill those germs. I sprayed lysol again this mornig. I hope we are in the clear it has been 3 days since he was first sick and so far no one else had contacted it. But I am sure someone can still get sick. he is so bummed he will miss his football game tonight. He really needs to play for his team, hard to get a 9 year old to understand his health and well being are more important than football.

Well got to get to work...hope everyone has a great day!!

aguerin
08-25-2009, 01:08 PM
Good Morning All.

Sorry I have been MIA, but my work schedule has been hectic for the past week and a half.

My oldest son started college yesterday and had a great day. And the Principal from youngest son's school has already called me today. :sigh: Its going to be a long week!

Congrats to the shredders and the losers for this week. That is awesome. I don't have any losses to report, or shred commitment that I want to speak about.

Mama Nicole
08-25-2009, 02:29 PM
Day 16...in a row for me :)

BarbaraB
08-25-2009, 03:17 PM
Nicole, That is so impressive. I overslept this morning so didn't have time to shred... I'll attempt it tonight though. I'm contemplating wearing more than one sports bras like Jillian does (at least on level 1) perhaps that will make PMS and shredding work for me.

Kristinx
08-25-2009, 04:35 PM
Ahhhhhhhhhhh I am craving EVERYTHING today...I am super stressed at work, maybe that is why, I dunno.....maybe PMS? I have no idea when that will come since I just went off the Pill....haha but man I want pizza and chips and chocolate....ugh...trying so hard not to cave!

I am soon leaving work and the plan is to BBQ some chicken breasts, lean pork chops, some potatos and veggies and that is supper for the next 2 days anyway! See...I hate cooking everyday so I have to make healthy meals in advance or I just go for quick stuff, but with 10 hour workdays and 2 hours of commuting can ya blame me? :P

jewljz
08-25-2009, 06:17 PM
quick question - does anyone know if little girls are supposed to wear underwear with a leotard??? My daughter's first day of gymnastics is tomorrow and I'm a little freaked about that...

Mama Nicole
08-25-2009, 09:40 PM
I would say, yes, but I have not had a girl in gymnastics.

Barbara........I hope you feel good enough to work out tinight. I am proud to say that I am nearing the end of TOM, and I was lucky to only have one bad day with this cycle. I am hoping it is because I am working out.........but we'll see what next month brings ;)

Where is everyone lately? There is power in numbers ladies......if you are lurking, let us know.....we all have the same goal here ;)
XOXO

Repo girl
08-25-2009, 11:21 PM
Julie- No, at our gym, undies are not allowed. I bought my girls unitards, and I like them a lot better.

Repo girl
08-26-2009, 01:47 AM
Oh, and Nicole, I am lurking!

Kristinx
08-26-2009, 08:13 AM
Well I am happy to report that I DID NOT give in to all the cravings yesterday...I stayed in my points, went home from work, cooked my healthy dinner and even went for an hour long walk afterwards! YAY!

aguerin
08-26-2009, 09:07 AM
Good morning all.

Congrats on not cheating Kristin. You Rock!

I'm still not seeing any movement on the scale. Which I have had some off days each week for the past few weeks, but still. I need to get about 3 more lbs off within the next 2 weeks. I may have to re-strategize.

Wow College is expensive. I thought him going to a technical college was going to be cheaper, but now he needs tools. Sheesh.

sweetandspicy
08-26-2009, 09:36 AM
Kristin great job on not giving into the cravings. I hope I can do the same today.

Amy- I think any college is expensive.. I definately know tools are expensive too, but just think they are what he needs when he finishes so maybe that will help him out later.

Nicole- Great job on the exercise you are working your way to a habit!!!

BarbarB- I have not been on an exercise habit lately either. I just can not seem to wake up any earlier!! I need to re-focus and get back in the habit.

Julie- Been along time since I was in a leotard. I really think no undies as they would show and bunch up???


Hope everyone has a wonderful WEdnesday!!! I have not been making to bad of food choices however I have not been on plan and Ic an tell the way my skirt fits today that I am not going to like the scale come Saturday!!! Anyway I am trying to start watching more closely and eating dinner earlier will definately help. I have been having some issues with my hands and feet mainly my fingers feeling bloated or tight, Did some research and I think I may need to take a B-12 vitamin I bought some but can't remember to take it. I absolutely drink enough water so I dont think that is it. I hope the B-12 helps.

My son did well in his football game. He has a lot of talent but no size. He is 11 and weighs 83 pounds, he is about 5'3" and his legs look like tooth picks. That is actually how I can find him on the field when I cant see his number.I find it hilarious that his coaches keep telling him to gain some weight. Would it not be great if I could give him about 15 pounds? And the 9 year old needs some too. I would just love to give away about 25 pounds to someone who really needed it. Wish it was that simple!!!

I am going to get back into salads so I am off to search for recipies.

JLem311
08-26-2009, 09:36 AM
hello all. a quick post before DS gets here this morning.
i'm still going with my Shred dvd...switching it up between the levels and doing more and more of the advanced moves. i still plan on taking the weekends off, i think. ;)
still doing well with staying on plan too. but the scale is still at 219.

anyways, that's about it for now. i'm hoping that maybe more of us get on twitter so we can stay accountable even more. since it's a site where you can do quick, short updates..anyone interested in doing that as well? i know everyone is busy with their own lives, ect.

anyways, my time is up. gotta go. hope everyone has a good day...me included.

JLem311
08-26-2009, 09:37 AM
hey, amym--what does B12 do for you?

Mama Nicole
08-26-2009, 10:43 AM
Oh, I have heard VERY good reports about B12.......but I don't have any details. I jsut know one of my cousins who has severe ADHD amongst other difficulties in his life is getting injections.....and is really pleased with how he is feeling.

I finally attempted level 2 of the shred today.....on my 17th day in a row. It was really ok, kind of fun actually.....and a nice change. It is VERY challenging, but I like that :)

I have to run, baby is being naughty.....but I'll be back. I hope I stop sweating soon :)
XOXO

JLem311
08-26-2009, 11:25 AM
very proud of you nicole! keep it up!

sweetandspicy
08-26-2009, 03:43 PM
No Let me preface this by saying that I am in no way a medical professional and I suffer from a slight aversion to medical professionals so I tend to self diagnois. From my research and dietary restrictions I think I would benifit from taking B12. Like I mentioned in my previous post I have had some tightenss and tingly feeling in my fingers and toes. Now It could be something more serious and I do recoginize that fact but a common solution is lack of B12.
Vitamin B12 is an essential water-soluble vitamin that is commonly found in a variety of foods such as fish, shellfish, meat, and dairy products. Vitamin B12 is frequently used in combination with other B vitamins in a vitamin B complex formulation. It helps maintain healthy nerve cells and red blood cells and is also needed to make DNA, the genetic material in all cells. Vitamin B12 is bound to the protein in food. Hydrochloric acid in the stomach releases B12 from protein during digestion. Once released, B12 combines with a substance called intrinsic factor (IF) before it is absorbed into the bloodstream.
The human body stores several years' worth of vitamin B12, so nutritional deficiency of this vitamin is extremely rare. Elderly are the most at risk. However, deficiency can result from being unable to use vitamin B12. Inability to absorb vitamin B12 from the intestinal tract can be caused by a disease known as pernicious anemia. Additionally, strict vegetarians or vegans who are not taking in proper amounts of B12 are also prone to a deficiency state. (copied from Wikipedia)

I have anemia issues always and over the past 6 months I have eliminated almost all red meat and dairy from my diet. So with all that being said I think I or really anyone could benifit from B12- it is said to boost metabloism, help with digestion and to regulate moodiness. Whether that works or not I have no idea. As Nicole mentioned it is also suppose to help with calmness and memory. In my case I think anything would help..

Kristinx
08-26-2009, 06:37 PM
I once saw a documentary on this woman who suffered for like 15 years...would have dizzy spells to the point of blinding, extreme pain, loss of balance, vision, etc. She thought she was dying and NO ONE could diagnose her....until one doctor figured it out...B12 deficiency...her body couldn't absorb it so she did have to have injections of it...but completely cured all her issues like that!

BarbaraB
08-26-2009, 08:36 PM
Dixie Amy, I know... College is so expensive, and every year it goes up at a rate way faster than inflation and the books get even more obscenely overpriced. This is the last year for my DD who hopefully will graduate in June. I'm always super proud of her and all, but looking forward to having more of my money to spend on me!

I wimped out and did not do the shred last night... I did wake up at 5 and go to the spin class though. For burning calories its hard to beat spinning.

I posted some hiking pictures to my profile. The photos really don't do justice to how beautiful it was there though.

Mama Nicole
08-27-2009, 08:58 AM
So last night I ran to Target with DD, and I jumped on one of their sclaes.......fullly clothed in jeans, end of the day, cell phone and toe nail clippers and change in my pockets, and the sclae there said 223. I figure that is at least 4 pounds more tha I really am........so I ought to be right around 219....which shows a loss......not a big loss......but a loss. I had DD get on it alos, cuz she is a nice constant 128.......and she said it was the same as our old sclae. I didn't buy the sclae, but I might this weekend......we will see. I don't even care how much I lose each week.....if I can work out hard, and lose a little each week.....I KNOW it will stick. Also, as far as eating........I haven't been writing everything down...and I haven't really been following LAWL......I have just been eating high protein, high veggie and fruit, and low carb....and eating only when and if I am hungry....and only enough to fill the hole.......and it is WORKING!!!!! I am super excited.

Right now I am trying to become alive, with coffee, so I can do my workout. My back muscles are REALLY sore from the walking pushups.......but I think I will still attempt level 2.

Jillian.....thank you again for helping me with this. You are so strong, and I want to be like you :)

Ok, better get sweating, before I have to wake up the young one for school. :)
XOXO

Mama Nicole
08-27-2009, 09:03 AM
Oh, and WTG Barbara.........getting up early is real dedication.

And AmyM.......you are just a smarty McSmartison.........you only go to the doc when you NEED to......that happens to you when you have a whole pile of kids, otherwise you'd be at the doc office 10 times a month.....at least. I love it, as I am the same way....and Katie walks this path as well :)

Ok, time to start shredding, before the little ones wake up ;)
XOXO

aguerin
08-27-2009, 09:14 AM
Good Thursday Morning all.

We went to the Hospital last night to see my MIL. They think she has had a stroke, but not sure as she has some other things going on. She has been through alot this year (open heart surgery in February). Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

I am still trucking along on LAWL and am ready for the scale to start moving again. I know that it is slow because of the cheats I have done over the last two weeks but that is about to change.

sweetandspicy
08-27-2009, 09:37 AM
Nicole- Those walking push ups are the worst until you get to the traveling push ups in level 3...I missed shredding last night but I did walk/jog at the track and was amazed at how quick I was and that is definately due to the 30ds. I have also been looking at scales. Did you see the Biggest looser Scale at Target? it looks really nice and does more than just weigh, maybe BMI ect. Check it out next time. Good luck on your shred today!!!

Kristin- That article sounds fascinating. In my research it showed several examples similar to that. The medical professionals seemed to believe that B12 is showing real positive effects on Older patients with alzheimers symptoms. My sister works with alzheimer patients and she said that 2 of her patients are on a b12 trial and that she started taking it too just to see if it helps her. They seem to offer the shots everywhere so I am looking into that too. Right now I am just taking a vitamin I got at a health food store.

Barbara- love your hiking pictures. Looks like you had a wonderful time. I admire your dedication to getting up early.

Amy- i will keep your MIL in my prayers. I hope it was not a stroke.

JLem311
08-27-2009, 09:47 AM
morning all. i'm done with my workout (still doing the Shred), showered and having a bar now. DS will be here any minute, so i'll keep this short.

nicole--thanks so much for saying that, it really makes me feel good to know that i'm inspiring others to make exercise a daily part of their lives. it makes all the difference, doesn't it? and congrats on the scale #'s. you're right on with me now. dang it! ;)

anyways, i gotta go for now. hope everyone has a good day.

chiquita623
08-27-2009, 12:30 PM
Hey Everone. Not much new to report here. Just checking in. It's Thursday and it's payday so it's a good day for me!!

My eating has been pretty much off plan but I'm really trying to watch portion sizes and times when I feel most munchie and hungry and adapt to that. We'll see how that shows up on the scales. I'm making a real effort to only weigh every couple of weeks and so far so good. Hopefully I can make it to Monday for my next wi.

I'll try to get back later to do personals and chat a little more. Until then - have a great day everyone.

Kristinx
08-27-2009, 12:52 PM
Can I just rant here? lol

Work has been so busy! And FH has been busy with work, we have had like NO time together. Then on top of all that I am having a lot of concerns about my future step son and being the step parent I can't exactly just take control and do what I think should be done! Seeing as many of you are kick *** moms maybe you have some advice?

First off, he is a good kid, he would give any other kid the shirt off his back and just wants to be everyone's friend. problem is, they don't all feel the same way about him...he is bigger than them all (5'5 at 10 years old) and quite awkward. He gets bullied some and of course his Dad's solution is "you're bigger, hit them back" but he's just NOT that kind of kid. On top of that I think his Mom and Stepdad are pretty big on yelling to punish rather than taking the time to actually talk to him. Actually FH is a bit of a yeller too when frustrated, but I rarely yell.

Anyway, he has been having complete meltdowns when someone gets upset with him, crying uncontrollably, saying that his life is horrible and no one wants him around, he wishes he had never been born. Now I know lots of kids say these things when upset at times but it still breaks my heart. It seems to me that when he gets upset he does not know how to express his emotions appropriately, and even if he tries, I'm not sure anyone really listens to him. It's not really my place to tell his parents how to parent but on the other hand I really think he should see a counsellor...someone who can help him learn how to cope with these frustrating situations...I've spent a lot of time talking to him about it but I'm not a professional by any means. Am I being overly paranoid? Does this all sound normal? I cringe when FH yells at him, but then again I grew up with very passive parents who never yelled so maybe it's not that bad? I can just seeing this being an issue when Fh and I have kids and differ on our parenting styles.

Anyway, I probably should have started a new thread for this but whatever lol. It just started coming out.

sweetandspicy
08-27-2009, 05:24 PM
Kristin- I think you have reason to be concerned. Everyones parenting styles are different but it is important for you to recoginze your FH's syle early on. One thing you need to consider is his age and size he is more than likely showing early signs of puberty. When all those emotions hit even boys become emotional. Right now he is still alittle boy who is trapped in a mans body. It is normal for him to have issues with fitting in, and probably not knowing how to handle his size. Talking to him is the best thing you can do. I would absolutely talk to his Dad and try to encourage him to talk to his son (without yelling) about changes that are happening in his life. When you are a step-parent it is hard to assert yourself appropriately in his life as he has 2 active parents already participating in his upbringing. Let him know you are there for him, I am sure there are counselors at school he can also confide it. Violence is never the answer and encouraging him to hit back is not the best advice, but I do understand your hesitation in discussing this with his Dad as you don't want to overstep. Things are different when they are your own. I try not to yell, however I do yell some and the older the louder you have to talk to get your point across whether it is out of anger or for emphasis. Let him know you are there for him and love him and that no matter what he can confide in you and that may make a huge difference in his life.

Bullies will always be there and issues with acceptance only get worse in high school. Knowing someone other than a parent is around is always a positive. Try to explain to him that not everyone will always like him and that is ok. People are different and no matter what we do we can not just all get along.

Giving the shirt off your back-- a wonderful quality just watch for everyone taking advantage of him. As sad as the reality is nice guys usually finish last especially at 10.

Good luck!!!!

Kristinx
08-27-2009, 07:29 PM
Thanks for the advice :) I feel better now as Fh and the ex had a good talk today and are planning ways to help...even therapy if that's what he needs...we'll start with his family doctor and go from there.
He knows he can talk to me. he usually tells me more than his parents after all...maybe he's sucking me into his pity party I'm not sure...but I think it's important for kids to know you will listen, no matter what...often they won't say much when you ask how their day was, how school is, but just asking let's them know you care right?

Anyway, I do feel better we are going to do whatever we can to help him

BarbaraB
08-27-2009, 10:31 PM
Kristin, Every kid needs someone who just is in their corner and is there for them. You can be that person. Unconditional love is a powerful thing. Being a bigger boy does bring out the bullies. My nephew is now 18 and 6 foot 6 or there abouts and large framed. So he had to learn how to deal. Boys naturally jostle for position. So a kid has to stand up for himself. Big guys if they show any sign of violence at all are going to be more harshly punished than a smaller guy. If a smaller guy pushes a bigger guy and the bigger guy pushes back, 99 times out of 100, that bigger guy is going to be the one sent to the principles office and told how could you do that, you are so much bigger.

Mama Nicole
08-27-2009, 11:48 PM
Kristin.......I only have a second......but even if he is just sucking you into his pity party......loving him and spending time with him, and letting him know he has value and worth to you is the best thing for him right now. Kids usually let us know what they need.........if we take the time to listen to them :) And.......being a step parent is not easy.......but I have been on both sides of it, and from what I have experienced......it is always best to trust your instincts. It is when you start second guessing yourself that it becomes complicated. Trust yourself.......your DF does.....otherwise he wouldn't let you help with his son. Like Barbara said.."....unconditional love is a powerful thing."
XOXO

Repo girl
08-28-2009, 12:59 AM
Kristin- I think you have reason to be concerned. Everyones parenting styles are different but it is important for you to recoginze your FH's syle early on. One thing you need to consider is his age and size he is more than likely showing early signs of puberty. When all those emotions hit even boys become emotional. Right now he is still alittle boy who is trapped in a mans body. It is normal for him to have issues with fitting in, and probably not knowing how to handle his size. Talking to him is the best thing you can do. I would absolutely talk to his Dad and try to encourage him to talk to his son (without yelling) about changes that are happening in his life. When you are a step-parent it is hard to assert yourself appropriately in his life as he has 2 active parents already participating in his upbringing. Let him know you are there for him, I am sure there are counselors at school he can also confide it. Violence is never the answer and encouraging him to hit back is not the best advice, but I do understand your hesitation in discussing this with his Dad as you don't want to overstep. Things are different when they are your own. I try not to yell, however I do yell some and the older the louder you have to talk to get your point across whether it is out of anger or for emphasis. Let him know you are there for him and love him and that no matter what he can confide in you and that may make a huge difference in his life.

Bullies will always be there and issues with acceptance only get worse in high school. Knowing someone other than a parent is around is always a positive. Try to explain to him that not everyone will always like him and that is ok. People are different and no matter what we do we can not just all get along.

Giving the shirt off your back-- a wonderful quality just watch for everyone taking advantage of him. As sad as the reality is nice guys usually finish last especially at 10.

Good luck!!!!

Yeah, what she said! Good advice Amy. As usual, you rock!

I only wanted to add that it is totally appropriate for you to let FH know how much you care about his son, and that you are worried about him.

JLem311
08-28-2009, 09:10 AM
morning all...well i got my workout in and that makes 5 day this week. (which was and is my goal, to workout 5 days a week) so i'm doing well with that.
the scale isn't moving, but it's ok, because my clothes are fitting quite well and starting to see definition and toning a bit in my arms and legs. my tummy is still gloppy and squishy (from having 3 babies) but my abs muscles are back and there, just hidden under the stretch mark ridden skin.

anyways, i have lots of errands to run today, so i'm off. i'll be back later to check in on everyone. hope everyone has a good day and weekend.

JLem311
08-28-2009, 09:22 AM
here's a link for all those interested:

http://www.keloland.com/news/NewsDetail6371.cfm?ID=89251

Kristinx
08-28-2009, 10:14 AM
Thanks for all your advice everyone! FH and I had a great talk last night about it all. He let me know how happy he is that I go far and beyond what he would expect a step parent to do and he's happy about it. Now that he's seeing these issues with his son, he's even realizing that he himself has unresolved issues from his childhood (which was not good to say the least). So he's happy we are going to help his son and he's considering getting some counselling for himself even. We even talked to the mother and have her agreement that even if the best thing for him is to live with us from now on she won't stand in the way. So it's good...for the first time I feel like all 4 of us are on the same page about what we need to do for him :)

On the WL front, was down a little today...still need to pull some bigger numbers. Will be a tough week with a bachelorette party tonight, then gone away for work from Sunday till Wednesday

Repo girl
08-28-2009, 10:31 AM
here's a link for all those interested:

http://www.keloland.com/news/NewsDetail6371.cfm?ID=89251

Aw Jillian, that SUCKS!

sweetandspicy
08-28-2009, 11:53 AM
Jillian- great job on the exercise..sorry about the news

Kristin- I am so happy you all were able to talk and work some things out. I hope that makes you feel better about the situation with your stepson as well as your future with FH.


Hope everyone has a great on plan Day!!!!

Mama Nicole
08-28-2009, 01:10 PM
FH equals future husband????

Mama Nicole
08-28-2009, 01:19 PM
here's a link for all those interested:

http://www.keloland.com/news/NewsDetail6371.cfm?ID=89251

Oh no, no, no, no, no...........is this what has been weighing so heavy on your heart, Jillian? I am soooo sorry to hear this news. :hug: When did you get this news? My cousin's husband is going too......and she is just dreading it. People forget that this war involves real people.......we won't forget, girl......and we will help hold you up until he returns safely :hug:
XOXO

Repo girl
08-28-2009, 01:40 PM
Oh no, no, no, no, no...........is this what has been weighing so heavy on your heart, Jillian? I am soooo sorry to hear this news. :hug: When did you get this news? My cousin's husband is going too......and she is just dreading it. People forget that this war involves real people.......we won't forget, girl......and we will help hold you up until he returns safely :hug:
XOXO

Ditto to that!

JerseyMadchen
08-28-2009, 01:41 PM
Hey guys! Happy Friday!!!!

I have been lurking as I have not been doing so well on the weightloss front. I have been sick for over a week now. I first thought it was allergies, then a cold, but I am back to allergies now. We're living in my in-laws basement, and I think the mold is making us sick.

About a month ago, my husband took down the drop ceiling tiles in spots for the plumber to come and fix a major leak. We haven't put the tiles back up yet, and I am thinking that the mold is what is making us so sick. UGH, we cannot get out of there soon enough!! September 17th is our settlement date!

Well, we're off to VA Beach tomorrow for a week, I am soooo excited!

BarbaraB
08-28-2009, 02:30 PM
Jillian, Oh no! I know you can deal with this, anyone who can do the shred 30 days in a row can do just about anything they set their mind to do. At least it is not Iraq and at least he gets a whole year at home with his baby X.

Amy, I'm allergic to mold to, it may well be causing you problems. You'll have to see if you feel really a lot better when you are away. Sept 17th is going to be here soon anyway!

JLem311
08-28-2009, 03:39 PM
thanks for the support ladies! it's going to be tough but we've known about this since last year. it's just now being announced and orders are official. I appreciate all of the support.

Kimphin
08-28-2009, 04:46 PM
Jillian - You know we will be here for you, as always.

chiquita623
08-28-2009, 04:53 PM
Oh Jillian. I am so sorry to hear that. But you are one tough cookie. You will make it through this. And each and every one of us will be here to help you when needed.

Dairy Fairy
08-28-2009, 06:45 PM
Jillian- I am so sorry to hear about the deployment. Thank you so much for the sacrifices your family makes. I know that doesn't make it feel better, but I wanted to say it.

Kristin- step parenting has to be hard. Parenting is hard enough with my own kids! I have a nephew who sounds similar to your future step son. He is bigger sized and would come home and I'd found out kids took all kinds of things from him including video games. It made me furious, because my mother always championed an underdog and taught us to do the same. I hate to see people picking on someone! My sister handled it by going on every field trip with him to monitor his school environment as best as she could. She eventually felt the need to transfer him to a private Christian school that focuses on instilling KINDNESS and Christ's love as much as academics. If you start excluding and bullying on the playground, guess what...recess is OVER! They give discipleship awards to the student in every grade who embodies Christ's love for others. It is a huge honor that my youngest nephew actually won this past year. I guess it is sheltering your kids somewhat, but ya know...I don't think a child should have to be beaten down and have their spirit broken. Some kids just can't deal as well as others and I think an extra step or two is good for those kids. They need to know they are worth it. I don't know if you could consider doing private school or what, but at least consider doing field trips with him or talking to the parents about volunteering in the class. It might help them see your FSS as a person with a famiy who loves him and not just a punching bag. Good luck!

I'm doing ok. I'm so over this, but my hubby keeps me chugging along! He's lost over 20 lbs. I think I've lost still just the 10. I need a second wind.

SexySagittarius
09-01-2009, 06:52 PM
thanks for the support ladies! it's going to be tough but we've known about this since last year. it's just now being announced and orders are official. I appreciate all of the support.

My husband just got back on Saturday from his 3rd deployment. It is hard especially if you have little ones. I've been doing this for 17yrs, and he has hit every deployment....well at least it seems that way. I don't know how long you have been in it but it is hard but well worth the effort. I am very proud of my husband and I'm sure you are too. Just take it one day at a time and the year will fly by. It did for me. Good Luck to you.