100 lb. Club - getting discouraged

View Full Version : getting discouraged

08-21-2009, 01:56 PM
Sorry to be so whiney today. Things in general are really going well for the weight loss. I'm very happy with what I've done so far, yet I'm feeling really discouraged today and I really don't know why.

Part of it is when I look in the mirror I still see a really fat guy. Yes, less of a really fat guy, but still "obese" according to my BMI. I've been trying to lose weight now almost 2 years and have lost a lot of weight but I'm still obese :(.

The top weight in the "normal" BMI category for me is still 80 pounds away.

I know its a lifetime thing and its about making healthy changes for the rest of your life, but I just want make it happen already. I shouldn't think that way, but I do.

Being in a weight loss plateau for the last few weeks hasn't helped things too much.

What do you all do to get over the blues and to start to feel positive about it all again?

08-21-2009, 02:14 PM
I know what I do- make a post just like you did!!! Everyone's encouragment usually gets me feeling much better about myself. So here it goes.....

Matt- you are doing fabulous and that is a pretty weak word for 166 pound loss! By looking at your picture I don't think if I saw you walking down the street that I would even think you looked fat, much less obese. If you were not looking at those charts you would probably be feeling better about yourself. I know, I know, we all make ourselves crazy with those numbers! all of us have days where we just want it to be all over. You have kept on track through some rough stuff lately, you can keep on. Tomorrow will look brighter. Hang in there brother!

08-21-2009, 02:16 PM
Matt, I definitely understand the "wanting it now blues" feeling. This can be a draining experience and it feels like you're making the sacrifices over and over, but are still far from the ultimate reward. But you have come so far and you look amazing. I don't see "obese" when I see the pictures from your walks and your avatar. I see an active man who has done something inspiring by changing his life completely and losing over 165 pounds. Very few people who wish they could do that will ever be able to SAY that they've done it. And you are one of those strong people.

I think we all get discouraged and wish we were at our goal or feel we've come so far and yet have so far still to go. It's not an instant fix, but the only way I know to get over it is to keep going. I imagine it's a similar feeling to being on mile 40 of your 60 mile walks. You're 2/3 of the way there (just like you are 2/3 of the way to your weight loss goal), you're tired, and you want to be at the finish line. What do you draw on then inside you to get you the rest of the way?

08-21-2009, 02:25 PM
I think we're all entitled to be a little whiney once in a while, no matter how much progress we've made. I'm sorta in a similar position, in that I've lost a great deal of weight but still have so much to go. I'm in my 270's now and also won't get out of the obese BMI until I reach about 200. It's indeed frustrating.

All I've been able to do is go through the motions and know that sticking to the plan will help out in the long run. What tends to make me want to give up is when I focus on how fat I still feel, instead focusing on the positives. How much better I feel physically and emotionally. Realizing that I'm almost halfway to my goal. And reminding myself that at least I'm now aware of my body and emotions instead of trying to eat my way to oblivian.

You'll get through this ok. Not only are we on your side, you've been a great inspiration to us all. :)

08-21-2009, 02:26 PM
Going by your picture, I wouldn't think fat or obese if I saw you walking down the street! You're 6'3 so you're a bigger dude, that's all

Any time I start feeling the blahs, I pull out my older pictures and reminisce about how awesome it was having 3 chins, swollen feet and ankles and having to wear birkenstocks all the time and then give my head a shake and think WOW things are AWESOME!!!


08-21-2009, 02:27 PM
Going by your picture, I wouldn't think fat or obese if I saw you walking down the street! You're 6'3 so you're a bigger dude, that's all

Any time I start feeling the blahs, I pull out my older pictures and reminisce about how awesome it was having 3 chins, swollen feet and ankles and having to wear birkenstocks all the time and then give my head a shake and think WOW things are AWESOME!!!


08-21-2009, 02:27 PM
Whoops, double post.

08-21-2009, 02:27 PM
Sorry, triple post! :o Was having connection issues.

08-21-2009, 02:52 PM
Holy crap if I was positive about this all the time I wouldn't have ever back slid. I keep looking at the process and the lessons I am learning. I also keep trying to think of plateaus as maintenance training.

Here is my little :cheer: for you though because I know intimately that nasty voice in your head that calls you fatty even when you have taken responsibility and are doing something about it. Look around, how many people have walked 60 miles in 3 days in your general vicinity, it probably a short list and your name is right on the top.

Size of your body didn't matter, the wonderful thing moved you, carried you, and you did it. Pretty freaking fantastic no matter how you look at it.

I call this taking inventory and counting your little blessings technique ;)

traci in training
08-21-2009, 02:56 PM
Here's a goofy thing that sometimes helps - try to run into someone you haven't seen in a long time. Sometimes hearing from someone else how much you've changed helps you see yourself in a better light. Your progress is amazing - I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

08-21-2009, 03:20 PM
Everyone gets a little down from time to time, especially if things feel slow moving. But, wow, you've come so far! You are truly inspiring and really looking great in your new picture. Keep it up, the losses will follow!

08-21-2009, 03:21 PM
You are doing wonderfully. And most, if not all, of us here can relate to how you're feeling. Try to focus on what all you've accomplished so far and hang in there :hug::hug:

08-21-2009, 03:35 PM
I get like that too, and by you sticking with this for over 2 yrs really inspires me cause Ive only been doing well for almost 9 months. It really does seem like you'll never get there sometimes. BUt....like everyone has said already, you have done a Marvelous job honey! Just think of how lousy you'd feel if you had given up? You have come so very far! You keep your head up and keep giving yourself pep talks, and coming here and posting. By the way, your new photo avatar looks very very much slimmer!

08-21-2009, 03:48 PM
I remind myself how far I've come! In your case, you've lost a person! A whole person! Wow! So, yes, you have more yet to lose, but you are way more than halfway to your goal.

If you are getting bored about your routine--find ways to vary it. Try some new activities, or different workouts. Make sure you're trying new foods, not just the same old go-to's. Live your life today, not "when you reach goal"!

You keep on going, Matt! :cheer2: :cheer3:

And if it really, really is getting you so far down you want to quit? Well, you can always switch to maintenance for awhile--set yourself a length of time when you'll just stay the same weight rather than trying to lose. If you're on a plateau, then it won't be any different, after all, but with a couple hundred more calories and less stress.


08-21-2009, 03:49 PM
Hey Matt, you are doing fabulous. I understand how you feel though. I put 150 as my goal because I really didn't think I could get any lower. I did it and then 135 has sounded so good. I am having an awful time getting there, maybe it is too low for me. I saw a poster at my sons school yesterday, I know, kinda cheesy, but I added the quote in my sig. It spoke to me. It takes so much persistence, downright determination to get where we want to be. It is so worth it though, so hang in there. I think you look great!

08-21-2009, 04:29 PM
I agree with everyone else on this one. I, too, think that at 6' 3" and your weight, I would not look at you as obese. But, as said before, this weight loss thing is tough. It gets to everyone! That little inner voice of doubt hits everyone at different times. I guess it is now YOUR time! Darn.

You've done so well, we're all in awe of your progress! I hope you can find it in yourself to be in awe of yourself!

08-21-2009, 04:33 PM
Congratulations Matt on your 165.8 LB Weight Loss! :bravo: You are such an Inspiration to us All! :) Keep Up the Great Work! You don't look obese. Have you taken your measurements or tried on some new clothes? Sometimes we see the weight loss in measurements or clothing size. The scale can be a beast sometime.
Have you tried changing your exercise routine? Maybe see if there are some posts about plateaus and how to work with them. Good Luck!

Judy Lynn
08-21-2009, 05:19 PM
Matt, you look hot to me! Maybe try to change up a few things to make your program seem new and exciting again. Some new foods? New exercise? Even a new hobby to take the focus away from losing weight for a while.

Whatever you do, don't throw in the towel. You have come too far. :hug:

08-21-2009, 05:35 PM
Thanks everyone! I'm feeling better now. I'm glad it is nearing 5pm and I'll be heading home :)

Primarily I think I'm just stuck and in a rut.

I'm really not concerned that I'll toss in the towel or anything as there is nothing that I want more than this. I just have to keep plodding along.

08-21-2009, 07:15 PM
It must be rut week- we'll blame it on global climate changes, k?

If I saw you walking down the street I would think "there's a cute, healthy looking guy...wow, he's really tall!" Obese/fat/heavy would be nowhere in my words to describe you!! It just takes time for peoples self image to adjust to the weight change.

Arctic Mama
08-21-2009, 07:58 PM
I can't add much more to what has already been said - I know it can be hard to see it but you look great! You've worked so hard already, you're over the hump and it's downhill from here. We all get burned out from time to time, but realize you are a huge inspiration to so many of us and try to see your amazing hard work through fresh eyes. You WILL get there, in time. Enjoy he journey, because that's 99% of life, right there.

Try thinking of it this way - you've already lost your average, slightly overweight adult female in terms of poundage - that's amazing!

08-21-2009, 08:37 PM
Wow Matt! Give yourself some credit a 166 pound loss! :carrot: That's amazing!!! You're doing GREAT! Don't lose hope.

Believe me I understand all too well the plateau blues. I just got out of a 3 week one and seriously its hard. I was surprised how hard it was on me mentally. I actually started to not feel as possitive and just felt like I'd never reach my goals, but thanks to encouragment from friends, family, and here I kept working. Last week I lost a pound. I was so happy!

So just keep going. It will come off! Just don't give up! And seriously you are doing so good! Realize your wonderful accomplishment! Let that encourage you.

08-21-2009, 08:43 PM
I looked at the BMI charts and my goal weight still puts me right dab in the middle of over weight labeling. I really don't think I can get below 150 so I added a twist to my weight - I want my body fat to be closer to 15-16%. Sure my weight maybe too high but the bulk of what is my weight will be health :)

You have done so well - very inspirational!!

08-22-2009, 05:46 PM
I'm with ya. I'm STILL freaking morbidly obese!!!! I think I'm not anymore in like three pounds and that's annoying.

You'll get there my friend. You are super cute and lookin major hot. Seriously.

08-22-2009, 09:54 PM
You'll get there my friend. You are super cute and lookin major hot. Seriously.

Ditto this. Being a tall girl, I'd definitely give a second look to a tall, good-looking guy like you. You've done really, really well but I do know what you mean; sometimes I still look in the mirror and see how I looked 8 months ago. I can see that the tag in my new pants both say Size 14 now (instead of size 18 or 20), but they don't look smaller to me; I sometimes feel the same.

Did you save any of your pants from months ago? Sometimes it helps me to put my bigger pants back on and then I can see that yes, I AM smaller now. Also, I've been having fun going into stores and trying on clothes. :) Maybe that's a chick thing and guys don't really like to do that, but it does help the ego so I thought I would suggest it.

08-22-2009, 10:31 PM
Ditto on all the "good-looking" comments Matt! :whoo:

I didn't know how much you lost until I read your post. You've lost a whole person! :eek: Congrats on your weight loss accomplishments!! :carrot:


08-24-2009, 04:13 AM
always remember you're an inspiration to people like me :) hope you're feeling better matt, if you need to talk on a more personal level feel free to private message me.

08-24-2009, 08:01 AM
I think you look great, and you have done so much amazing work! And look at all the people you 've helped on this board and in the breast cancer walk and in your everyday life too, I'm sure. I'm glad you're feeling a little better. I was going to suggest that you try on a pair of your old pants.

I hope you are able to figure out what your rut is and how to get out of it. You do not look obese to me at all. Hang in there.

08-24-2009, 12:55 PM
maybe you need to do something fun to get your mind off the weight loss for a while, something to remind you that theres more to life than food/no food?

08-24-2009, 01:04 PM
I really don't have much to add but sending you hugs whenever you need them.

08-24-2009, 01:50 PM
I look at your pic and I don't see a really fat guy. I see a Hottie! (Got any single brothers or cousins in Wisconsin?;)) You're doing great on the weight loss! Keep it up.:)