100 lb. Club - Feeling Really, Really Down (off topic)

08-16-2009, 12:06 PM
My husband's been laid off since December, and his unemployment will be running out pretty soon. I'm plugging away at a stressful job that sucks the soul out of me (yeah, I know, I'm lucky to even *have* a job). I'm around people and chaos 'WAY too much, I never have any time at all to myself unless I get up at 5:00 in the morning (and then I'm half-dead by 3:30.) I sit in my car during my lunch hour (regardless of how hot it is outside) just to get some time ALONE. I'm already dreading going back to work tomorrow, which means I'm not even allowing myself to enjoy my time off. Talk about a crappy mindset!

I worry about bills. Constantly. I worry about credit card debt. (Brakes on my car went last week, and I have a feeling there's going to be a vet bill fairly soon.) Husband flutters around helplessly, then disappears into the computer. I'm 57 years old, exhausted, discouraged, and feeling absolutely hopeless.

Weight's at 240 and hovering. (I haven't updated my avatar.) I manage to work out sometimes, but lately more and more I skip a day and just collapse into a chair feeling totally depleted. Been staying pretty much on track with eating, mostly because I haven't had much of an appetite.

Sorry for dumping, thanks for listening!

08-16-2009, 12:10 PM
just :hug:

Things'll get better..


08-16-2009, 12:12 PM
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I wish I had some good answers for you.
Hang in there!

08-16-2009, 01:40 PM
Oh sweetie :( We're hear to listen *hugs*

08-16-2009, 01:43 PM

08-16-2009, 01:43 PM
Holy crap, that is a lot for one woman to manage. You have got to figure out a way to 1) take SOME time for yourself that doesn't involve sitting in a car and 2) learning to compartmentalize to some degree so you don't blow your off days stressing about work.

Have you thought about yoga or meditation? They really will help! HUGS!!!!

08-16-2009, 01:49 PM
Agreed -- 'dumping' isn't a problem at all. What you're feeling has to be normal, and I'm sorry to hear baout your situation. Just keep plugging away at that crappy job, and maybe something better will come along for you!

Is your husband helping around the house much, or can you talk to him about how you're feeling? I suppose he's depressed, not feeling like the 'breadwinner' anymore, but it won't get better unless he's putting in resumes when he's hitting the computer every day.

Hang in there!

08-16-2009, 02:25 PM
How about taking a walk at lunch to get some alone time?

I'm sorry you are going through a lot and I hope your hubby finds something soon- if his unemployment runs out and you both are really hurting maybe he could take just ANY job until he finds something better? I was washing dishes for four months before I found my current job! Me! With a master's degree- spending Sunday-Thursday washing DISHES- but I did it because I HAD to.

08-16-2009, 02:31 PM
Don't worry about dumping, this is a very stressful time for you. I hope things turn around soon; stay strong in the meanwhile!


08-16-2009, 02:32 PM
:hug: :hug: for the crappy situation
and a flower :flow1: just for you :)

08-16-2009, 03:01 PM
Funny you should mention yoga. I used to do it regularly, years ago. Just recently (since my knees have been so much better), I've been doing some asanas from Rodney Yee's Morning Yoga. My favorite time is in the morning, during the precious bit of time I have to myself before "it" all starts, and I feel so much better! I haven't been doing it regularly, tho'. (That sounds like good old self-sabotage rearing its ugly head! Sheesh, I have enough on my plate right now without being my own worst enemy!)

Compartmentalizing. You're right, of course. Train myself to think that my job isn't allowed to leave my cubicle. That's where it "lives". It isn't allowed to leave the building with me. Or, as my dad used to say, hang up the coveralls at the end of the day! :)

Re: hubby. Oh, he's doing the online search/resume bit, has had some interviews but no luck so far. He does some things around the house (meals, laundry, litterboxes), will do more if asked/told/nagged. He's a computer guy by trade. Once he'd been out of work five months, he became eligible to to take A+ and Microsoft certification classes and testing for free. (Usually costs $7,500). So he's been doing that. Some classes are online, some at the training site, and the tests themselves are all at the training site. It's a great opportunity, of course, and may pay off handsomely down the line, but we're still in a bind in the meantime.

Thanks for the support and suggestions, ladies. The only place in my life where I *do* feel alone is dealing with these problems---and that's the one place where I could really use some company!

08-16-2009, 03:03 PM
:hug: big time.

On the financial budgetting side of things, have you read Debt Proof Living by Mary Hunt? I found it really, really helpful a few years ago when I was in dire straits, and I still live by the principles now. When I was really in it, using the book made me feel I was getting a handle on it, less helpless.


08-16-2009, 05:05 PM
Sorry to hear you are upset. :hug: Has your husband checked into working for a temporary agency?

08-16-2009, 05:24 PM
I believe things will start changing for the better in your lives soon! Hang in there! :hug:

08-16-2009, 07:05 PM
That's good he's doing something vs. sitting around watching TV all day.

I always say when God closes a door he opens a window :) (not trying to offend anyone here) I'm sure he'll find something soon- this is one of those times where whatever doesn't kill you definitely makes you stronger :)

08-16-2009, 07:25 PM
yes, it's awful to let a unpleasant job seep into your off time too, definitely try to leave it in the cubicle. Have had some experiences with that!

maybe you can cry on hubby's shoulders a little more, or cry on each other (in a good way!). Maybe even sometimes just telling him you could use a hug or cuddle without bringing up problems.

hang in there! this too shall pass.

08-16-2009, 10:41 PM
I don't know whether it would help you, but something that I benefited from when my husband and I got laid off 3 months apart (me April, him June) was just planning -- everything. Even a couple years after we both got work again, I'm still keeping my schedule a year in advance, planning what I'll eat two weeks in advance, and tracking our budget three years in advance. I'm a little obsessive about it sometimes, but at the same time, somedays it's the only thing that kept me sane and moving forward.

Hugs and good luck.

08-16-2009, 11:04 PM
I'm similar. Fired in July of last year, I have lost everything-- house, car, pension, savings (yada yada) everything. I went through 2 rounds of unemployment, and have had 2 jobs. I just got fired from the last one. I don't last because I am totally inadequate for the job-- I just can't humanly do it. I go home everynight and cry a bucket of tears. I have to get my food from the food line, and make my rent on plasma giving. I've got a college degree and should be making decent money. I kind of fell through the cracks and there is no way out of this mess. Right now I am looking for temporary work at the upcoming state fair (and applying for my master's degree) Believe me, that is quite a contrast. So all I can say is get your husband doing anything to make money. They say now that the unemployment figures are down, but they don't say that it is because 1) school will be starting soon, and 2) the adults are getting the kid's jobs, and 3) people who fall off unemployment are not counted in the unemployment figures. So since you will not be getting unemployment you will be considered as having a job even though you do not have a job. People are running at anything that looks like a job opening. It is highly competitive to get anything-- even bad jobs. You might say this is what happens when industries send our jobs elsewhere.

The important thing for your husband to remember is that the jobs available are terrible, so it is not like a good one is going to pop up. He's got to grin and take anything -- and tell him not to count anything he is doing now on his resume. It dosen't matter how the unemployed are trying to eek a living during a depression. He needs to get to work digging ditches or working at Mc. D's to help you out because no one will get anything if you collapse.
Tell him that.

08-16-2009, 11:18 PM

08-17-2009, 12:10 AM