Weight Loss Support - Stop feeding me!!!




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doIlookfat?
08-12-2009, 12:18 AM
I finally got up the courage to tell my family to STOP FEEDING ME!

They guilt feed. My husband wants to go out to dinner with the family and I have no willpower to say no. And if I try to order a small amount, he makes me feel guilty for not eating as much as him. He promised he won't do this again.

My mom feeds me all the time too. When she learned that I now weigh more than my dad, she said she would stop too. It shocked her! No more nut bread at my door. No left over food for me and the kids, when she knows I will eat most of it as soon as I get home. She promised she wouldn't tempt me anymore with her yummy cooking.

I told my husband to give me a motivation to lose 40 lbs. He told me when I lose 40 lbs, he'd take me on a cruise! Whoo hooo! Motivation!

Lets hope it works this time. Portion control!

Heidi


Jinksie
08-12-2009, 12:26 AM
can i come on this cruise too? :)

Sunnigummi
08-12-2009, 12:57 AM
Good for you! I can totally sympathize with telling family members (especially mom) not to stuff food in one's face. My mom is a GREAT cook, but she also shows her love with food. She loves us a LOT, if you get my drift. I'm finally learning portion control and it's just amazed me how much I used to eat and think it was normal.

I'm happy for you!! Woohoo to the cruise!! :carrot: You've inspired me to look into travel options as motivation as well. Hee. ;)


MsDiana 08
08-12-2009, 01:03 AM
it is so hard to stick to a diet when you have significant others and family constantly going out to eat, cooking, and eating yummy bad food. I deal with that too.

Minya
08-12-2009, 02:40 AM
oh my god, i have his problem too, I tell my mother to stop sending so many leftovers home with me and beg her on many occassions not to fry anything but it always fails >.<

JayEll
08-12-2009, 06:34 AM
I'm glad that you were brave and made your feelings known! :hug: It is absolutely annoying when people offer food all the time and guilt-trip about it! :mad:

So that was a good thing. Now, the other part I wanted to say is, you are the only one responsible for what goes in your mouth. Only you. Unless your husband or your mother holds you down and forces food between your clenched teeth, YOU are the one in control here.

You can't make the whole world stop presenting you with temptations. Therefore, you need to get a grip on yourself. You say you have no will power--well, I know how it feels to want to eat something even though you know you shouldn't. But ultimately, it's "your hand, your mouth," as Glory87 says.

Keep this in mind... and learn to leave or throw away food you don't want to eat!

Jay

owensmommy4
08-12-2009, 06:44 AM
I agree its very hard when the people around you don't share your food preference, my husband included. I think that for him because his food habits have not changed, he doesn't even think about something being "bad food choice" for me. So he's not doing it on purpous, and sometimes I think well if he hadn't brought this home I would not have ate it, but its not fair to put the blame on him because ultimatley I choose to eat it, he didn't jam it down my throat. So when he brings home a pizza, I just simply leave the room and find something else to do. I have also decided to not eat at my mother in laws, because there is not a veggie or fruit within her home.

rockinrobin
08-12-2009, 07:01 AM
"Others" really can make this difficult at times, can't they? Not easy.

But on the same line as what Jay says, you and only YOU are responsible for your food intake. All their words may be strong, you just have to be stronger. You're an adult after all and it's up to you to make adult, rational, mature decisions. This is your health we're talking about here. Don't let others sway you from what you know is right. You've got to do what's best for you, regardless of what others are doing or what's being offered. You want something? You go out there and get it. Don't let anyone or anything stand in your way!

Be strong. Stay firm and I believe they'll come around. If not, too bad on them - it's their problem. Don't make it yours. :hug:

time2lose
08-12-2009, 08:02 AM
While I agree that we are responsible for our own food intake, I think that it is good to ask family to help us and that they should be willing to do so. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been dry for 11 years. I would not dream of keeping beer and/or bourbon around the house to tempt him. Everyone has their weak moments, some more than others. :)

I used this comparison to him when trying to explain to him my need to keep my trigger foods out of the house. He dismissed it at first saying that alcohol have been running and ruining his life before he stopped, food was not doing the same to me. My response was..... Oh yeah, I have difficulty going upstairs. I can only walk short distances. I am in pain. If I don't get this weight off, I am headed for diabetes like my mother and grandmother. I am at higher risk for cancer. Food is ruining my life.

He started understanding and has been much more helpful. Not perfect, but good enough.

I find it hard to believe that any mother, husband, or anyone who loves you would not be willing to help after you gently explain the health consequences of obesity. I actually said, "Please help me save my life." to my husband and children. To me, it is not about appearance. It is about living.

Please note that I said "gently." I have found that tone of voice makes a big difference in these types of discussions.

Good for you for asking them to stop feeding you and good for them for listening!!!!

rockinrobin
08-12-2009, 08:13 AM
While I agree that we are responsible for our own food intake, I think that it is good to ask family to help us and that they should be willing to do so. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been dry for 11 years. I would not dream of keeping beer and/or bourbon around the house to tempt him. Everyone has their weak moments, some more than others. :)

I find it hard to believe that any mother, husband, or anyone who loves you would not be willing to help after you gently explain the health consequences of obesity. I actually said, "Please help me save my life." to my husband and children. To me, it is not about appearance. It is about living.



Oh I agree with you 1000%. When I started this little (not so little) journey of mine, I sat down with my family and told them that I needed their help. I told them I was ridding the house of all junk and that if they wanted any, could they please do so on the OUTSIDE of our home. It really is very, very crucial in the beginning, when first making a lifestyle change and it's the most difficult. When you're trying to establish those new healthy habits.

There's nothing wrong (& everything right) about enlisting help. You can and should ask for, and hopefully receive their help. But if they're not willing...... well you know where I stand on that one. ;)

All the best. :)

Onederchic
08-12-2009, 09:07 AM
I am very glad you did this! Congrats :D :hug:

beerab
08-12-2009, 12:07 PM
Good for you- it's like my husband's grandmother- I love her to death but when we come over she always bakes all sorts of food then gives it to us to take home! Now I just leave the stuff in the car and take it to work and let the people there eat it! Anything left at the end of the day (which is rare) I just toss it out.

Sometimes it's hard to say no but you have to do it. Since his grandmother doesn't live with us it's easy for me to just thank her for the stuff then get rid of it lol.

georgiad
08-12-2009, 01:35 PM
I'm currently having this problem with my flatmates. I haven't told them that I'm trying to lose weight, because I feel like the first thing people think about when they think about me is my weight, and I don't want to draw more attention to it. But they keep bringing bad foods, 'trigger' foods into our flat, and even though I've done considerably well this past week, I sometimes want to scream at them, 'stop bringing me cakes and sweets!!!'

spanky
08-13-2009, 11:49 AM
Yep. That's been my life since I started a new job in April. My husband dubbed her "The Feeder". She's morbidly obese and determined that the rest of the staff be too. She's the one responsible for catering in all the meals for the events at our site and she goes obnoxiously overboard.

When she saw that I try to watch my intake she literally went to war! And when others say "Gee I can't believe I ate all that!" she laughs and says "Well no one MADE you eat it." One young girl has already put on 21 pounds in 5 months!

I'm at the point that I'm so angry with her, every time I stick to my diet I feel it's a "Big Screw You!" right up in her face! I want my goal so bad I've become ruthless!

Get mad. Stick to it. Throw food out if you have to. Screw them!

spanky