100 lb. Club - Im discouraged and sad..went shopping for pants




MugCanDoIt
08-10-2009, 04:03 PM
Well one plus from getting a new pair of pants: I got to get a 22/24 instead of a 30/32.

But...seeing myself in that mirror, the hanging skin on my thighs, my still enourmous stomache......and knowing there are soooo many pounds to have to lose to get to a smaller size. Its just makes me so furious and sad. :(

Ive lost 88 lbs and am still a disgusting fat cow. Ive worked so very hard..just to get a slap in the face that basicly says, "youve got a million miles to go before you look normal".

I just dont know if I can stay committed long enough to get this weight off of me. I need encouragement cause that trip to the store just devastated me.:(:(


HotWings
08-10-2009, 04:18 PM
Mug :hug:

Did you know, that we carry on a mental conversation with ourselves all day long - with tens of thousands of thoughts - 98% of them negative? If we focus on those negative thoughts, we do what is in line with those negative thoughts. If we consistently and consciously acknowledge those thoughts when we have them, and replace them with something positive.. then we focus on what is positive and we stay motivated and committed, rather than beat down.

It's okay to have the thoughts you are having.. BUT.. replace it with the positive and focus on the positive -

"I have lost 88 lbs of fat that I will never have to see again!"
"I've gone down 3 sizes and my clothes feel SO much better"
"I'm doing this - I'm really doing it - I am so much stronger and smaller than before"

In short, just don't dwell on your experience. I know it might sound simple and even a little silly.. but you have A LOT of bright sides. Use the experience as fuel .. but don't dwell on it. I am a firm believer in affirmations - positive things about your journey written on notecards. Whenever these feelings creep up or you have a less than stellar weight experience like the one you just had - pull 'em out and read them over a few times - even daily.

We have to accept our bodies as they are - and accept the changes that are happening in positive ways. And, we are all uniquely different in our sizes and shapes - just focus on being the best YOU.

:hug: :hug:

jrsygrl
08-10-2009, 04:18 PM
:hug:Don't be so hard on yourself. You have come a long way. You're doing it!!
Please don't let this set you back.

Just looking at your stats is motivation for me. Don't give up. You should be doing a happy dance for what you have accomplished.

Come on I'll do it with you :carrot::carrot:

Please keep up the AWESOME work you are doing


dietcokehead98
08-10-2009, 04:24 PM
You have lost 88lbs! That is NOTHING to scoff at!!!!

Don't be so hard on yourself and KNOW that I'm out here, looking to you to inspire! 88 lbs!!!!!!!
88!!!!!

paris81
08-10-2009, 04:25 PM
Every time I think about how far I have to go and how gross I feel right now, I remember that I can either eat crap and feel like crap forever and look like crap forever, or I can maintain a healthy lifestyle, look like crap for a little bit longer, and then look GREAT once I reach my goal.

When you weight the two options, the second one sounds much better!

You've done so much already, congrats on your progess!

Onederchic
08-10-2009, 04:27 PM
I know exactly how you feel. I still hate my body. I hate seeing myself in a mirror. It makes me so discouraged and well, quite frankly, disgusted. But the thing I keep telling myself is I am much healthier and active now. I know it doesn't help the self image any. You have done so well. Don't give up on yourself, ever :hug::hug:

Mickeypnd
08-10-2009, 04:28 PM
Man, I WISH I could lose as much as you have. And you are a Vegetarian, that takes serious effort.

just use this as motivation. I always do when I think I lose weight, and try on a pair of jeans, and they are still sung. =/
:hug:

david
08-10-2009, 04:44 PM
mug, i know EXACTLY how you feel...i feel like i look almost the same as i did 21 lbs ago...at 258 i could look in the mirror and convince myself that i looked ok...now i look at myself more critically, more realistically...the good thing is that im at the point where i can see a little improvement every week...i tried some jeans on...size 36 waste...they fit, but i still didnt look good in them...what youve done so far is an awesome awesome accomplishment...keep connected to 3fc and you will find the encouragement you need to keep going....it may help if you think of how you look compared to how you looked before...youre at the point now where a pound here and a pound there really really makes a difference...i read a quote one time..."i cant lose 100 lbs, but i CAN lose 10 lbs 10 times".. the point is maybe mini goals is the answer...noone says its easy, but its worth it and youre worth it and you can do it...i sound like stuart smalley..."youre good enough and youre smart enough, and doggone it people like you!!!!"

beerab
08-10-2009, 04:50 PM
:hug:

Are you working on muscle exercises as well? Trying to tone up can help improve the look of your skin :)

Skin usually takes some time to snap back after weight loss- I read somewhere it can take up to a year after rapid weight loss. Also it can't hurt to keep your skin hydrated with some good lotions- I think it's Vitamin E that is very good for your skin :)

Keep it up- 88 lbs is AMAZING :)

emileigh
08-10-2009, 04:52 PM
You have done so well. I am just beginning, but what you have accomplished is amazing. 88 lbs--that is equivalent to 352 sticks of butter. Picture that.

What if you hadn't been on this weight-loss journey? How much would you have put on by now??? Is it possible that you might have gained at least another 30 or 40 pounds over your starting weight? ( I know that in my case, if I'm not losing, I'm gaining) If it weren't for all your efforts, you would probably be shopping now for bigger pants not smaller ones.

(((( hugs ))))

david
08-10-2009, 05:01 PM
emileigh...coulda lived without that butter comparison...thats gross and yet kinda funny

david
08-10-2009, 05:03 PM
but if you rubbed all that butter on yourself you could actually burn calories...ill shut up now!!!

DCHound
08-10-2009, 05:13 PM
Don't you know what a HUGE difference there is between a 24 and a 32? I do!! I've worn both sizes...in the last year!! You are doing GREAT and you just tell your negativity to take a hike!!!

Really, as you continue to lose you will be SHOCKED at how great you look.

The difference between a 32 and a 24 is amazing. The difference between a 24 and a 16 is astounding! You will be there before you know it! My body is SO DIFFERENT now than it was at a 32.

But you know what's the most important thing? I wish I could go back in time and hug myself as a 32, because I was beautiful then too...I just didn't know it. I had to pretend to believe I could succeed before I actually believed I could succeed. Weird, right?

I still have plenty of times I look in the mirror and see a cow...but they are getting fewer and further between. I read on here about women who weigh in the 110s and look in the mirror and see a cow. It's all just perspective.

You are BEAUTIFUL and don't believe anything differently! Give your body time to catch up! My god Mug, you've lost 90 lbs!!! Take credit!!!! You deserve it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited to add:

Go tan now. It makes a HUGE difference. It makes you look 1-2 sizes smaller, really. You are awesome; you deserve it!!!

salsa chip
08-10-2009, 05:26 PM
You're OVER half way to your goal weight - now is NOT the time to give up! You're an inspiration to someone like me who's just started out. Keep going - please don't let this blip get you down. You've surely had blips before, and you'll get them again, just as we all do. But please don't give up!

MugCanDoIt
08-10-2009, 05:53 PM
Thanks everyone...it helps to hear from people who have gone through what you have....and the butter scenerio...how funny! Thats a lot of sticks!

Trazey34
08-10-2009, 05:58 PM
we've lost the same amount of weight, but i'm still bigger than you now. Would you ever tell ME that I'm disgusting and a fat cow??? I doubt it very very much. So why would you say it to yourself??? Any time thoughts like that creepy in, i do the British thing -- stiff upper lip, straighten your shoulders and say "at least i'm not 300+ pounds" that's ALL THAT MATTERS! Imagine if you'd never started? Yoikes, imagine how crappy pant shopping would be then!!!

Rosinante
08-10-2009, 06:01 PM
I know just how you feel and how depressing it can be.
It's draw a line in the sand and move on time: you've lost over half what you wanted to do, you are so on the downward path now. You can do this.

Echo
08-10-2009, 06:05 PM
wow you've lost an incredible amount of weight and that is VERY impressive!!! hang in there!! you will get there one day!!! :-)

you're doing really well! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

you're definately an inspiration to us all!!! instead of focusing on what your body looks like right now. try to visualise what your body will look like once you lose the weight... and you will get there . you've already proven you have the ability to do so, by losing 88lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2behealthy
08-10-2009, 06:52 PM
Nope- Quiting is not an option!! You are doing so well, please don't beat yourself down! You have come a very long way already and it is only going to get better. Don't let some mirror tell you otherwise! Hang in there, you have a whole herd of us cheering for you!!!!!!!!

lottie63
08-10-2009, 07:00 PM
You are inspiring all of us, sometimes, being a motivator is a good motivation. Don't forget about all of us who are motivated BY YOU.

Idealmuse
08-10-2009, 07:14 PM
Mug the good news is that although there is a ways to go your getting to the exciting part now. For me once I got under 225 or so I could really see a huge difference every 10lbs or so as opposed to before when I'd lose a ton and you couldn't even tell. Just give it some time the differences will start being very cool. :)

ANewCreation
08-10-2009, 07:20 PM
I totally understand your frustration but, to echo another poster, please don't speak that way about yourself. You'd never call a friend those names and you deserve the same respect.

Please focus on what you've done. I've never in my life lost that much weight (and yes I need to loose at least 100 lbs and my thighs sag and my belly is big too). I've always given up before the job was finished. Please don't give up the amazing amount of work that you've done. If you've come this far you can finish the job, I just know you can.

One bad day just can't be allowed to negate all the wonderful work you've done.

Slashnl
08-10-2009, 07:26 PM
I can't add anything better than what has already been said. I KNOW you can bounce back from this feeling, though. You are strong and you can do it.

Besides, if you notice, there are a lot of people here who are in awe of what you have done. If not for you, then do it for us! (just kidding) (no I'm not) (I mean, you have to do it for yourself) (but what about us?) (It isn't about what others think, it is what you think) (well, no, it is more about keeping all of us motivated...)

What the heck! WE NEED YOU!! Stay strong!

lottie63
08-10-2009, 07:39 PM
LOL @ slashnl

kiahna23
08-10-2009, 07:48 PM
I understand this so well...When I go try on things the mirrors dont lie! I cant stand it! I was going to buy a one piece bathing suit but since Im 24 and all the other 24 year olds would be wearing 2 pieces I bought one too! It took me so long to find one...I hate my core...Its getting better though..Im on the P90X with my husband. It helps ALOT! Try not to let it get to you..I know how hard that is because I just sit there and look at myself and shake my head...

You have to think of it this way....if you dont loss the weight and you give up..In a year or so you will be in the same situation....I think of myself as starting "my sexy" next year...lol...

dragonwoman64
08-10-2009, 08:05 PM
holy smoke, those dressing room mirrors are cruel and unusual forms of punishment; bf says they're engineered to bring out flaws (he had some sales reasoning behind it but I was too busy feeling like spray painting my reflection to listen to him that closely). plus, that lighting, how does anyone look good in that lighting??

I wanted to get some cute bras and went to Lane Bryant. Saw a couple of styles on the mannequins that looked adorable. I'm not sure who does wear them well, but t'isn't me. I admit that was something of a scary experience.

so, 316 to 230...WOW! I know you know how huge a difference THAT is. I remember at my heaviest feeling so defeated because I struggled even finding clothes that fit me in the stores, let alone that had any style or that I might like. That puts my bras experience more in perspective for me, and I even can chuckle at it...a little (the horror! the horror! heh heh)

hang in there, it's definitely worth it! you are not alone.

CJZee
08-10-2009, 08:14 PM
I suspect you look beautiful! Your body has changed so much since the beginning of your journey that you probably feel light and airy in comparison to where you were. You just need to wrap your head around that, Mug. Hugs. CJ

paisleyprincess
08-10-2009, 08:28 PM
:goodvibes You only have 3 more lbs until you get your tan and meeting a goal and rewarding yourself will feel amazing! :hug:Hope you feel better!

thisisnotatest
08-10-2009, 08:46 PM
Wow, these posts were really good to read.
I am totally having the same issue.
My skin is not bouncing back as I would like, that, coupled with the fact that it has been over 15 yrs since I've been thin so all my bits and pieces are NOT where I last left them :( (my memory of myself thinner happens to be in the form of a 20 yrold-to compare myself to that ideal is just cruel)

But even though my inner thighs are saggy and my arms and face seem to have fallen and I find new stretch marks and lumpy shadows everyday, I need to just deal with it and press forward.

The alternative is not only stupid, but dangerous.

Someone said on another thread that having sagging skin, etc is no reason not to deflate it.

This is so true.

Its hard, but I know being heavy makes me miserable in ways that skin tone never could.
Soldier on and good luck.

Judy Lynn
08-10-2009, 09:06 PM
Mug, you can do it! Those dressing room mirrors are brutal. Forget them and keep right on plugging away. Just think of how you felt 88 pounds ago. I'm willing to bet you feel a heck of a lot better today, even if your thighs sag a little and your belly seems a little too big. Every day I tell myself "Today I am getting a little thinner." Silly, but it cheers me up.

Hang in there! You are an inspiration! :hug:

fjcinzion
08-10-2009, 10:48 PM
You are doing a GREAT job! Don't be discouraged...just keep moving forward one day at a time!

starfishkitty
08-10-2009, 10:52 PM
God, I know what you mean. Seriously.... do they HAVE to make that light in dressing rooms show every PARTICLE of fat possible on your body??? I mean, wth. :lol:

I don't think I've ever been in a dressing room that didn't make me look like death.... even when I was at my lowest weight!!!!

time2lose
08-10-2009, 10:59 PM
Mug,

I think that you need a before and a in-process picture. Take a picture and compare it to a before picture. You will SEE how much you have lost. Then, use your imagination to picture what your after picture will look like.

You have done so well. Don't give up now!

H8cake
08-11-2009, 02:00 AM
Mug, you are doing so great, it was just a bad day. Those mirrors are brutal.
I agree with the poster that said you are at an exciting place in your weight loss because every ten pounds will make a huge difference from here on out. The closer you get it will be every five pounds. You will be amazed, I assure you! You can so do this! You've struggled through the part where you don't get as much gratification for your hard work. Now is when your body will make amazing changes. Just hang in there.

I've learned to not give too much thought to what I look like without the clothes on. I might not ever totally love the naked me in the mirror. I put the clothes on and wow, what a miracle. Clothes are awesome! They cover all the parts that are saggy and make them look great!

This is a long journey. One you that will never end and there will be plenty of times when you are frustrated, but don't give up. It's so very worth it!

giselley
08-11-2009, 02:36 AM
I think you need to talk specifically to someone who has lost as much weight as you have and is a regular size now. That person could help to clear up anything you might be missing. I also do not know how much skin snaps back after dieting. I have heard of people who must have plastic surgery after massive weight loss-- so I don't know.

thistoo
08-11-2009, 08:04 AM
We've lost about the same amount of weight, and while I started at a lower weight than you, I know how you feel. Last night I was doing yoga after work and while holding downward dog, I looked at my inner thighs and all the wrinkly, saggy extra skin that's gathering as I lose weight, and I had a moment of 'why am I bothering?'

But the fact is I *can* hold downward dog and a lot of other yoga positions now, I'm stronger and I feel a lot better. So it's worth it. Even with the saggy skin and looking in the mirror at a still-fat tummy and that stupid little puff of flab above my waist, at my HUGE arms and my still-ample derriere, it's worth it.

You've come SO FAR, and you're an inspiration to people lurking here who will never open their mouths and tell you. Keep going for them until you can keep going for you, you know?

Phenomenal Woman
08-11-2009, 09:12 AM
Well, all these other ladies have said just about the same thing I'd say: Been there, Done that. ... Always take time to remind yourself in your inner conversations that you are speaking to a friend and you wouldn't say such hurtful things to a friend. ... Wow you are amazing and inspiring and OMG I can't WAIT til I can say I've lost 88 lbs!!!! :) ... You are an absolute inspiration!!

But I also want to add a tight :hug: ... and a sledgehammer to take with you for every store mirror in your future.

Btw ladies those dressing room mirrors would be an excellent place to post those you are beautiful messages, if you are doing that! :) (Before or after you smash the mirror will be up to you, of course! hehehehehe)

findingfawn
08-11-2009, 09:27 AM
You are amazing, don't let you get yourself down... especially over a mirror! Don't you know how much you have accomplished?? You have done so much, keep moving forward, you are doing great!

MugCanDoIt
08-11-2009, 02:21 PM
Thanks everybody, I feel much better today. I really REALLY enjoyed reading all your comforting words of advice and encouragement. I love it here!

Torister
08-11-2009, 02:49 PM
Mug!

I am glad you are feeling better today, but my gosh...how can you *not* feel better with 90 lbs off of your body than weighing in at 316 lbs?!?!?!

I personally feel fabulous and I *know* I am still morbidly obese! Who cares?! I am getting healthy. I will take deflated skin than puffed up fat filled skin any day of the week. Besides, there is always plastic surgery if you want to go that route. I am not ruling that out...if I can afford to at that time.

Go and tan now...don't wait until you hit 225...you will look and feel better with a bit of color!

I agree with someone who suggested taking "in progress" pics to compare to "before" pics. There is such a big difference from a 30/32 pant to a 22/24 pant! Believe me....I have worn BOTH at one time or another! Yesterday I did not check labels in my pants when I was hurridly getting dressed in the AM. I grabbed a 22 pant (I am wearing 18-20 depending on brand) and I walked around work all day with a baggy butt. :D Thank goodness for my big ole hips as they were the only things keeping them UP! :o I could take them off without unzippering! Time to go through my closet again! I highly recommend hitting thrift stores and clearance racks. Wearing clothes that FIT is a real self esteem boost. You are completely worth it!

Hang in there...

CamiToo
08-11-2009, 03:12 PM
Well one plus from getting a new pair of pants: I got to get a 22/24 instead of a 30/32.

But...seeing myself in that mirror, the hanging skin on my thighs, my still enourmous stomache......and knowing there are soooo many pounds to have to lose to get to a smaller size. Its just makes me so furious and sad. :(

Ive lost 88 lbs and am still a disgusting fat cow. Ive worked so very hard..just to get a slap in the face that basicly says, "youve got a million miles to go before you look normal".

I just dont know if I can stay committed long enough to get this weight off of me. I need encouragement cause that trip to the store just devastated me.:(:(

No, you're not a disgusting fat cow.:hug: You've lost 88 pounds and that's something to be proud of!

kiramira
08-11-2009, 03:19 PM
Hi Mug!

Let me put it this way -- would you rather be 316 lbs or 225 lbs?

And perhaps spend time thinking about the fact that you ARE 225lbs, not USED TO BE 316lbs. You need to put the past in perspective and live in the NOW. Because that is all we have.

Think of it this way -- the past doesn't exist as it is history. The future is only fantasy. So if you don't live in the NOW, you don't exist...

RIGHT NOW, you are 225 lbs, and a size 22. And this is something to embrace, be proud of, and love. PLAN to be smaller, but love yourself and treat yourself kindly right now. Break through the walls of the past and embrace the YOU that is today...

:hug:

Kira

Orijanal
08-11-2009, 03:22 PM
You are doing great, I bet you feel a lot better 88 pounds lighter, I too have the baggy stomach, thighs and arms, but am hoping that by drinking plenty of water, becoming more active and using a decent body oil (there is one here bio oil that is good, don't know if you get it outisde UK) and giving it say a year after I lose the rest, things will look better. If not, decent clothing will be worth it.

TJFitnessDiva
08-11-2009, 04:26 PM
I can't add anything better than what has already been said. I KNOW you can bounce back from this feeling, though. You are strong and you can do it.

Besides, if you notice, there are a lot of people here who are in awe of what you have done. If not for you, then do it for us! (just kidding) (no I'm not) (I mean, you have to do it for yourself) (but what about us?) (It isn't about what others think, it is what you think) (well, no, it is more about keeping all of us motivated...)

What the heck! WE NEED YOU!! Stay strong!

yes what she said :D

:hug: