Weight Loss Support - Losing Weight When Your Almost Alone




indiegrlx
08-09-2009, 11:57 PM
I'm starting to do another weight lose bought, except there is just one hitch. I'm almost completely by myself all the time. I live with my boyfriend but he travels for work during the week and is only home on the weekend. I work, but have recently moved to a new area and don't have any friends here. I don't really have any friends anyway. I just feel completely alone. I don't have anyone to do anything with. I garden, but that's about all I do. I watch a lot of TV because it keeps my mind off of being alone. I don't know what to do, i feel like i'm doomed to fail because i'll just start to eat or not want to do anything because i'll have to do it by myself. idk, i don't know if this is a rant of an actual question. any suggestions?


Ilene
08-10-2009, 12:02 AM
Hang in there :hug: ....

Can you join a gym, a fitness class, a swim glass, a walking club, join a weightloss group like Weight Watchers, you'll find like minded people... Some free options, walk in a mall, walk outside, bike...

Just some thoughts that popped in my head...

labean
08-10-2009, 12:09 AM
indiegrlx,
you are not alone. Check around and see what threads appeal to you. THere are some by age, some by how much weight you want to lose.

There are recommendations floating around about not giving up until you've given a fair try. Like habits are supposed to take 30 days to set in. When you start a new job, you need to give it time.
Same with this experience, give it time.

Love yourself the way you would tell someone you love to love themselves. Be gentle with yourself.


MoragMunch
08-10-2009, 12:12 AM
You can find weight loss groups in your area through Meetup.com (or any interest really) - or join WW, or TOPS, or some other group centre.

What about volunteer work in your area? Walking dogs, or cleaning up the environment around you would give you physical activity and introduce you to new people.

But .... doing things by yourself around the city is FUN. I know people are afraid to do things alone, but it's actually very relaxing. No one else to answer to, no compromises, etc.

betty grrl
08-10-2009, 12:13 AM
You may wanna try meetup.com. There might be an excercise/walking club in your area. Just a thought.

lunameower
08-10-2009, 12:14 AM
I'm in a similar situation, right now I'm not working, I can't drive because of health problems, my family moved to Florida, my boyfriend is wonderful but he's working at the times when I would previously have my pig out sessions and I've become alienated from my friends, geez, I made that sound pretty miserable, but it wasn't meant to be. Anyway, I guess that I've been getting through it by making sure I have a variety of healthy foods that I enjoy and by trying to get out of the apartment when I'm starting to think the cats look pretty tasty. Sure, I have to be remind myself more often throughout the day what my goal is and why I'm doing it, but I would have just been using my energy digging through the cupboards anyway.
I know that I'm in a little different boat than you, but the core of is that we are having a rough time staying on track without feeling like we are alone, but I guess I'm just really trying to think about other things.

Ufi
08-10-2009, 12:45 AM
Sounds like maybe you need some purpose to engage you?

kuhrisuh
08-10-2009, 01:01 AM
Well we're all here for you, that's for sure. ;)

I think the idea to join a gym or fitness class is a really good one.. I too don't have many friends and just hang out at home alot. :/ BUT with our weight loss will come new found confidence, and we'll be able to get out & make new friends. So just keep your head up, WE CAN DO THIS!

Stella
08-10-2009, 03:02 AM
You could use it to your advantage. My husband works shifts, e.g. he is in one week and out the other. When he`s out I`m always more prone to binge, but I also find it easy eating little! :-)

Mickeypnd
08-10-2009, 03:59 AM
I know where you are coming from. I just moved from where all my friends and family are to live with my bf, and he works days and usually i work nights, the only time I get to fully see him is on the weekend, if thats when I dont have to work 9 hours.

what i usually do is call my sister and talk to her when i get lonely when no ones around, or someone else in my family. It might not be the same as having them around, but at least it occupies my mind for a short time.

hope this kinda helps you out.
:hug:

srmb60
08-10-2009, 09:09 AM
Once every few weeks, I work the opposite shift from my Dh. I'm alone all morning. Work 3-11.

Several times through the week, I only buy what I need to eat. Veggies, fruit, low fat cheese etc. I nibble all morning and take only really good stuff to work.

I've got exercise equipment all around my chair in the TV room. Nobody is in my way if I want to dance in the kitchen.

As soon as my coffee is ready, I come to 3FC and I do again before I go to bed.

While I adore my family and wouldn't change things ... I do sometimes envy folks like you indiegrlx. Aw ... the freedom to only do healthy things!

Lori Bell
08-10-2009, 09:25 AM
Hello there. Welcome to 3FC.

I really liked what Stella said about using your alone time to your advantage. Although I cook healthy for my family, and keep most junk food out of the house, when you have others around who don't want/need/have to lose weight it is difficult to watch them eat stuff like cookies, ice cream and chips. It is hard not to say, "What the heck, I'll have a double fudge sundae too!"

Humans are social creatures, so I totally understand your need for companionship. I have found that Church, and the charity works that go into organized religion, (Ladies aid, Sunday School, Senior center visitation etc.) have helped to fill a void in my life. Also through Church we have branched off into 4H and other social groups that we probably would not have ventured into. If religion is not your thing, there are tons of hobby groups and causes around.

You really need to do the social thing for yourself. Being an old married lady for 20+ years I have learned a few things about men and one of them is that they don't necessarily like to be the absolute center of your universe. (Unless they are the possessive type.) Meaning they really don't have the energy to fill all the voids in your life while trying to keep themselves a float. My husband loves it when I find positive things to do for myself, instead of depending on him to make me happy 24/7....You know what I mean?

caliyah
08-10-2009, 09:27 AM
hey!!

i love having my alone time! think of this as time that you can rework your life and become the person that you were meant to be! i mean the contestants on biggest losers leave their families to lose the weight where they won't be influenced by others so maybe you should think of it in that way.

also, try to find what motivates you, what inspires you. for example, try to do some volunteering in your community, do community work, it's both fulfilling and you can make a lot of friends in the process. join weight watchers, or a local gym etc. you will make friends along the way.

weight loss technically is a journey you have to take on your own and it's great to have support from others but you really have to frame things in such a way so that you can be pushing forward whether you are alone or surrounded by people. and if loneliness is your trigger to not stay on plan i would say that this is a good time to really evaluate your emotional eating.
I highly recommend you read some books and I really enjoyed what Jillian Michaels had to say in her free KFI podcasts

http://www.kfi640.com/podcast/SUNDAY.xml

ernurse
08-10-2009, 09:34 AM
Welcome and you do have this entire site for support. As previously suggested, look around, see what sites interest you most. I check in on my days off, too much time on my hands it seems....I like the motivation, the support, and reading about other people's experiences, realizing once again, I'm not the only one. hugs :hug:

Bonnie+J
08-10-2009, 09:50 AM
i agree with the ladies who suggested going to a fitness class. once a week i go to aqua aerobics and have met some really lovely ladies. over the past 3 weeks we have been meeting for coffee after the class. its really nice to chat to someone i normally wouldnt, and it also benefits my weight loss!
I'm a sahm, so i suppose i'm not alone, but i do miss having adult interaction, so i can kind of understand.

good luck with it!

annie175
08-10-2009, 09:54 AM
And for free, you can go to the library or bookstore and wonder around. Go to a park for a walk. Just some suggestions.

Tomato
08-10-2009, 10:10 AM
And the problem is? Consider this your advantage that you don't have to cook for your bf during the week. So often I read complaints from other chickies on the forum that it is hard to eat clean when husband or kids (or both) demand different kinds of meals. I honestly don't know how they do under such circumstances! I lost weight completely on my own and if I could do it, so can you. Eat clean and healthy during the week. Why would you need anybody to do that? Make sure you cook more than you need so that you have leftovers for the time when your BF is around and maybe wants to have a huge bowl of pasta or fat burgers off the grill.
It is so much easier to do it on your own - after all, you really are accountable only to yourself - it's your body and your health.

kiramira
08-10-2009, 10:23 AM
How about finding a part-time job? Just to get out there? How about taking some college classes? How about volunteering for your Food Bank or at the library?

And Ms Tomato is right -- I was my MOST successful when my DH was deployed overseas -- I only had myself to worry about with respect to diet and exercise schedule and I was able to really kick some butt.

Kira

Onederchic
08-10-2009, 11:02 AM
And the problem is? Consider this your advantage that you don't have to cook for your bf during the week. So often I read complaints from other chickies on the forum that it is hard to eat clean when husband or kids (or both) demand different kinds of meals. I honestly don't know how they do under such circumstances! I lost weight completely on my own and if I could do it, so can you. Eat clean and healthy during the week. Why would you need anybody to do that? Make sure you cook more than you need so that you have leftovers for the time when your BF is around and maybe wants to have a huge bowl of pasta or fat burgers off the grill.
It is so much easier to do it on your own - after all, you really are accountable only to yourself - it's your body and your health.

Bravo Tomato!! I agree with this :)

jamiewyn
08-10-2009, 11:44 AM
I understand where you are coming from. My husband is deployed (and even when he's not, he's away at training a LOT). I know my weight gain through the years has been my own fault, but being alone so much has certainly been a HUGE factor. If you are at all prone to eating out of boredom, being alone multiplies that risk by 100! (IMO)

First, remove all unhealthy food from the kitchen. If it's not there, you can't eat it. To keep from over-doing it on the healthy stuff (as I have done on occassion), close the kitchen after dinner and go to another section of the house. If I sit in the livingroom and watch TV, I will almost ALWAYS, venture into the kitchen eventually. :( If I go upstairs to my ROOM, it's much easier to stay there. Also, since TV is a big trigger for a lot of people, see if you can't find something else to do w/your evenings. Read a book. Do a different beauty treatment each night, crossword puzzles etc.

If you have nothing to break up your days while your BF is away (which can lead to depression), joining a gym, finding work, book clubs, etc would probably be a good idea. Long term boredom is not healthy physically or mentally.

Peek in here a lot too. I'm pretty new here, but when I'm feeling like i just can't stick to my program, 30 minutes of reading posts usually re-motivates me.

Hang in there!

mygritsconfessions
08-10-2009, 11:49 AM
Tomato is right, I found it very hard to lose when I would make myself something and then have to cook a southern meal for the kids and husband. Very difficult because there was temptation and comfort foods all around me. Plus, it was also hard finding 'my time' with caring for them, by cleaning, laundry, kids schooling and activities......on and on.

Take this alone time while you have it and get on a good healthy routine. Get rid of the comfort foods in your house. Join a YMCA, or other club to get active and meet new friends. You can do this and DO IT FOR YOU!

rockinrobin
08-10-2009, 12:05 PM
I'm starting to do another weight lose bought, except there is just one hitch. I'm almost completely by myself all the time. I live with my boyfriend but he travels for work during the week and is only home on the weekend. I work, but have recently moved to a new area and don't have any friends here. I don't really have any friends anyway. I just feel completely alone. I don't have anyone to do anything with. I garden, but that's about all I do. I watch a lot of TV because it keeps my mind off of being alone. I don't know what to do, i feel like i'm doomed to fail because i'll just start to eat or not want to do anything because i'll have to do it by myself. idk, i don't know if this is a rant of an actual question. any suggestions?

I gotta tell you, I too am under the belief that you can and SHOULD use this to your advantage. I (stupidly) kept pushing tackling my weight till "my kids were older" and didn't require as much from me. Of course that was silly. Without having to focus on kids or a husband or BF (most of the time), and just yourself - well really that is the IDEAL situation, IMO. Losing weight, consistently takes a lot of determination, hard work and yes, focus. You've got you and you alone for large chunks of time, time to focus on you- use that time wisely.


Support is a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong. But losing weight I have found to be one of the most solo things in the world. I'm the one planning, shopping, chopping, dicing, cooking, cleaning it up. I'm the one making the right choices, avoiding the bad ones, not giving in to temptation. I'm the one exercising (all by my lonesome) and keeping active. It's all me, me and ME. No one else required.

Challenge yourself. Make it an adventure. Use your time to find exercise that you love or at least tolerate. Use the time to educate yourself on good nutrition. Use the time to discover new foods and wonderful recipes. Use the time to learn new healthy behaviors and coping skills. Ones that will last you a lifetime. Use the time to delve and seek out ways to make this work.

moonkissed
08-10-2009, 12:11 PM
Hey hun. I totally understand. My family all lives down in Texas & I moved far away from them up here in New York. I know no one here. I have zero friends. I am also agoraphobic which means it is very very difficult for me to go out and meet new people.

I don't work during the summer, and when I do work it is just for 2 hours a day. My husband works all day long, and we are on completely different schedules. He sleeps all day, wakes up & goes to work then comes home late and stays up all night. Where as I wake up early in the morning and go to bed like alittle after he gets home.

It is so easy to slack off or to pig out when no one else is there. It can be your little secret. It doesn't count if no one is there to see you eat it right? lol There is also the complete boredom that comes from being alone. And being bored just drives me to snack, almost nonstop.

I talk to my family online & on the phone a bit and we are helping each other with the weightloss support but I so wish I had someone here with me to do it all with me often.

For me I have found that having a definite plan works the best. I need to be completely anal about it and work out my days events or I will get distracted or bored. Set daily goals. One good thing about being alone is you have a bit of freedom to be weird or make a fool of yourself without anyone else knowing lol. Which makes it easier to dance around while I clean house. Or try out new exercises which I could not be less graceful at lol. It also does mean keeping food around that is healthier and not being as tempted at what others are eating. I found I do much much better on the days my husband works lol

Just stick to it, stay focused. Try to journal everyday. Alot of the times being alone we don't get alot of our feelings out and I think that hurts us, so journaling helps alot. Also thank heaven for these message boards. Forums are a life saver to make friends, and share your concerns, and feelings with other like minded people in the same situation!

:dust::hug:

ruby2sday
08-11-2009, 11:20 AM
Due to my hubby's work, I am alone every night during the week. To top it off, we live in the sticks, so there is nothing/nobody around. All of my friends live in the city, so I understand how you feel about isolation.

For me, I have lots of hobbies that take up time, that I do alone. I have a treadmill, so I use that too, and also do my workout vids here at home. Sometimes I just go for a nice long walk outside. Checking in here also occupies some time and helps me a lot.

Do you have any little hobbies that you do, or would like to learn? Someone suggested meetup .. perhaps you could check that out and hook up with others with some similar interests, be it walking, fitness, or arts and crafts.

Good luck with this. You can do it :)

Bombe
08-11-2009, 12:37 PM
I am alone most of my time as well and I actually see it as a blessing. I can base my meals and snacks 100% on me, no worrying about pleasing other people that I'm cooking for or being influenced/persuaded by their eating habits or anything like that. Also because of this alone time I have time to exercise, I have time for me! I go to the gym and have met some fun and interesting people there.

Thighs Be Gone
08-11-2009, 12:44 PM
If you dont like your life, change it! With you bf's travel, it will be so easy for you to find all kinds of things to partake in. Open your heart and realize the possibilities! There are plenty of women out there just like yourself. The food fixes nothing. Make the decision that you are worth it and that life isn't working the way you have it--or at least it isn't working well enough for YOU! Take care of yourself and your environment as you would for a person you loved and held dearly!

RubyGuggenheim
08-11-2009, 01:42 PM
As of a week and a half ago, I am in a new city and living all alone for the first time in my life. To be honest, it has been AWESOME for my weight loss. I grocery shop after I've eaten a meal so I don't impulse buy, and so I only bring healthy food into the house. When I get bored and want to eat out of boredom, I walk out the door and go exploring.

For a long time I had trouble because I lived with my parents and we ate out a lot, and I have trouble controlling myself at restaurants. Living alone, I take care of all of my own meals, and it's easy to keep them healthy. If I crave ice cream or sweets, I drink some water, because there aren't any ice cream or sweets to be had.

I'm just saying what other people have said. You can use your situation to help you instead of hurt you.

indiegrlx
08-12-2009, 09:40 PM
thanks guys for all the suggestions/support! ;)