Weight Loss Support - What's your ulterior motive?




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whitneyallison
08-04-2009, 12:30 PM
We all have one! What's your secret reason for wanting to drop the weight? We all want to be healthier, thinner, have more energy. Me? I want to wow my ex, make him see what he let go. He never commented on my weight but all the girls he had dated in the past were just little, bitty things. Oddly enough, I lost 15 pounds in the time we were together.


Onederchic
08-04-2009, 12:42 PM
Well, as simple as this sounds, I really am just doing this so I can be healthy and live a longer, active life :o

seagirl
08-04-2009, 12:43 PM
I just want to have 20 fewer pounds to lug up and down a mountain, or on my bike.


e.mccoy
08-04-2009, 12:45 PM
I just want to my daughter to be proud of me. She has been teased because of my weight. She says that it doesn't bother her but I know that it does. She just doesnt want to hurt my feelings. Bless her little heart.

kisskisskill
08-04-2009, 12:52 PM
Of course the main reason is be healthy and enjoy life more...but I'm also getting married in the fall of 2010. What girl doesn't want to look amazing on her wedding day?

MissBliss
08-04-2009, 12:53 PM
I turn 50 in 4 years. My doctor told me that if I didn't lose the weight I would soon be unable to walk....and I want to ride the Rockin' Roller Coaster at Disney World! And parasail...and ride in a gondola in Venice..and hike Bryce canyon...and to not be afraid any more and to stop hiding behind my fat!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phew....thanks for asking! :)

Onederchic
08-04-2009, 12:53 PM
Of course the main reason is be healthy and enjoy life more...but I'm also getting married in the fall of 2010. What girl doesn't want to look amazing on her wedding day?


Congrats and good luck!! :hug:

caryesings
08-04-2009, 12:56 PM
One item that got me thinking about putting in the effort to remove the extra 100 lbs I've been carrying around for the last 20 years was a conversation I had with a family member. I think I've led a near magical life but somehow they saw my life as really sad. I couldn't figure it out until it clicked that they saw me as "the fat girl" so all other accomplishments somehow didn't count.

The next thing that got my attention was a number of friends who've ended up unemployed in the last year have had a really difficult time paying their own health insurance premiums when their obesity was calculated into the premium. I had no idea that the insurance premiums I'd priced out would not be available to me if/when my job disappears.

Finally, I decided I'd like to try internet dating on my 50th birthday coming up in October and there's no appearance category for "100 lbs to lose".

Tomato
08-04-2009, 12:59 PM
So that I can have arms like Linda Hamilton in Terminator2.

Sylvied
08-04-2009, 01:03 PM
Well, I am doing this for health, specifically so I don't have to do it when I'm older and it's harder...

but I am also doing it so I can wear clothing I never felt comfortable wearing before. I am also doing it to show my family that it can be done. I am doing it to have a higher fitness level and be stronger. I am doing it so I look great at upcoming reunions... so I can see what a bikini looks like on my body.

And I'm doing simply so I don't have it on my list of things to do anymore.

There's all sorts of reasons and some days I'm more motivated by the "good" ones and some days I'm more motivated by the "bad."

BKKchick
08-04-2009, 01:03 PM
My motives in the past were always "ulterior" in the sense that I really didn't care about my health, heart, or anything except for how I thought weight loss would affect my appearance. For the first time, I'm doing it because I want to be healthy! I'm so proud to be able to wake up every morning and say, "I work out." It feels sinfully good! The rest is just icing...although I have to say, to be able to fit into--and look good in--a pair of jeans just makes it too good to give up! Great question!

HotWings
08-04-2009, 01:11 PM
Doing it for myself, because I'm tired of being fat and want to know what it is like to wake up thin every day... and I want the energy that goes with it.

Other than that, I would like to be more flexible in the.. *ahem* bedroom. *nudge nudge wink wink*.. both for me and for DH. AND.. probably the biggest other than me reason: I want my kids growing up knowing what it is like to eat healthy.. with their MOM as the primary example of healthy diet and exercise. I do NOT want either of them going through what I have gone through. :nono:

kisskisskill
08-04-2009, 01:17 PM
I want my kids growing up knowing what it is like to eat healthy.. with their MOM as the primary example of healthy diet and exercise. I do NOT want either of them going through what I have gone through. :nono:


I'm so glad to hear that! Growing up we were fed junk food because it was easier(canned spaghetti, pizza rolls, etc). Physical activity was not something that was stressed. It wasn't such a big deal when we were with my granny because we spent most of our time outside with her. With my parents I remember both of them sitting infront of the tv all day. They also slept throughout the day. Both were very obese. I have sworn up and down that I am going to change my lifestyle and when I have children they will be taught the importance of healthy eating habits and physical activities.

whitneyallison
08-04-2009, 01:26 PM
So that I can have arms like Linda Hamilton in Terminator2.

Good one! I'm working towards Michelle Obama arms myself.

Beck
08-04-2009, 01:29 PM
I don't want to embarrass my kids the way I was embarrassed by my mother's weight.

I want to look as good as the other women in this affluent town. I feel like I don't fit in being the fat one.

I want to be able to go ocean kayaking.

I want dh to be proud of the way I look when he introduces me to other people.

HotWings
08-04-2009, 01:35 PM
I'm so glad to hear that! Growing up we were fed junk food because it was easier(canned spaghetti, pizza rolls, etc). Physical activity was not something that was stressed. It wasn't such a big deal when we were with my granny because we spent most of our time outside with her. With my parents I remember both of them sitting infront of the tv all day. They also slept throughout the day. Both were very obese. I have sworn up and down that I am going to change my lifestyle and when I have children they will be taught the importance of healthy eating habits and physical activities.

My parents were overweight as well, and while they worked pretty hard I remember my mom taking naps every afternoon on the couch. Also, I grew up on a farm.. so every meal was meat (usually not lean and almost always beef), some kind of potatoes fried in LARD.. yes lard.. or potatoes covered in gravy .. bacon with eggs fried in the bacon grease.. you get the idea. I don't fault my parents.. that is the way they were taught. And, there were not many avenues then for actually finding out how you are supposed to be eating. We are blessed with the internet! I learned from them.. and have spent the last 25 years trying to blindly figure things out for myself. Thankfully, I've got it this time. :) So glad to hear you are thinking ahead for your kids! :yes:

jamiewyn
08-04-2009, 01:40 PM
I'm just tired of my size getting in the way. In the way of my sleep (acid reflux), in the way of social activities (being self-conscience), in the way of activites (I have to be DRUG to the waterparks w/my family), in the way of abilities (my endurance is terrible). Also, hubby is deployed right now and we are planning a romantic vacation for when he gets home. I do NOT want a moment of the vacation ruined by self-negative thoughts. I want to be healthy and happy and enjoy his company, not be worried about whether or not I can handle the hike to the waterfall, or if my butt looks big in the dress I'm wearing to dinner.

I am just tired of my size being an issue.

starchild
08-04-2009, 01:43 PM
Main reason is for health and to live a long, active life.

Secret reason? To be able to have photos taken of me and KNOW that I won't have to worry about all of those fat rolls appearing! Neck rolls, belly rolls, arm rolls...augh!

Devsmama
08-04-2009, 01:44 PM
I will be 35 in about 6 months, I'm tired of being fat. I want to wear cute clothes.

losermom
08-04-2009, 01:55 PM
Like others stated, initially this was journey started because of my health. I had high blood pressure and acid reflux. My feet swelled at the end of the day. It was torture bending over to tie my shoes. I was tired of outgrowing my clothes, always being the "fat friend", and feeling super self-conscious both in public and in the bedroom with DH.

Now, on to my current ulterior motives. I want to be the one when I walk into the room--in the words of NeNe on RHOA, "Whoa, there's LoserMom, Ooooh, BAM!" I want to be in a constant state of readiness. By that I mean that I want to know that I can look awesome for any event at any time, because I have a body that is ready. I don't have any events scheduled at this time--but I am ready!

ruby2sday
08-04-2009, 01:56 PM
I guess like everyone, my biggest motive is to be a normal size and be healthy and happy, and able to live my life as I should be doing .. not drug down and inhibited by this weight.

I'm tired of "sitting out" on life because of my size and the embarrassment and feeling so self conscious about it.

And besides that? Yeah, I would love to be able to wear nice cute clothes again, that make me look stylish, and not 40 years older.

beerab
08-04-2009, 02:04 PM
So when I go to my high school reunion (2011) I'll look hot and make the people who stopped being my friends jealous ;) I know for a fact they'll all be like oh here's my number call me- and I'll smile sweetly and assure them I WILL call- but then I won't ;)

So that I can feel more confident about myself and not cringe when it comes time to take pictures- that's a big one to me- I feel like my life is going by and there is no record of it!

UniquelyNormal
08-04-2009, 02:54 PM
I have dresses I want to wear that don't fit.
I don't want to be ashamed to show my knees in shorts (I don't wear them now)
My husband is a rock climber, yeah it's embarrassing to be the only fat wife that doesn't climb too.
My knees can't take the dancing I used to do, I want to dance!
I'm terrified of running into someone from high school or college.
I don't want diabetes
I don't want to have a heart attack.
I feel like a sexy biatch on the inside, I'd like to be one on the outside (but not act like one ;) )
I want to play tag with my kids
I don't want to get stuck in the McDonalds playtubes while chasing my children.

coldbloodedkiwi
08-06-2009, 02:09 AM
I'd like to increase my endurance so I can do all the outdoor activities I'm too exhausted to do now.
I'm 19, and this is when I'm supposed to look my greatest!I want to get into the habit of a healthier lifestyle for my kids.
Also this is kind of a random one, I'm not planning a pregnancy anytime soon, but I'd like to not be overweight when I do get pregnant since I'll likely be gaining a bunch of weight anyway and hate to imagine carrying around all of that!

kiahna23
08-06-2009, 02:20 AM
LOL...I love your reason! Mine is for Halloween. And because all the haters in my husbands family have that shape where your butt is big and your waits is small..BUT...they have NO hair! lol...Mine is VERY long..(latina and black baby!) They always made fun of my weight...It hurt...ALOT...So Im going to be in awesome shape and have lots of hair...and intelligence. lol...Triple threat.

wednesdaymorning
08-06-2009, 02:49 AM
I want to look awesome. I want to wear sexy clothes and feel like a sex goddess. I want all the girls I used to know in high school to be jealous. I want both of the girls I used to be best friends with drop dead when they see how wonderful I look. It's true. And I'm a little ashamed.

But of course health has a lot to do with it, too. That's no lie at all. And I really do want to be able to bike and hike and all that fun stuff.

salsa chip
08-06-2009, 06:48 AM
The well-balanced reason is to improve my health and help boost my self-confidence.

The not-so-well-balanced reason is to gain appreciative attention from men. There, I said it :sorry:

aneleh
08-06-2009, 08:40 AM
I'm doing this so I don't ever have to wake up again and wish I was fitter/healthier/weigh less/fit into something. I want my confidence back too.

Sunnigummi
08-06-2009, 09:09 AM
I'm doing this so I can finally lose the weight and feel good about how I look in any clothes I wear. I'm also doing this so that two people I know who made snide remarks about my weight over the years can um... [bleep] themselves when they see that I have lost the weight. Heheehehe. :devil:

I also want my hubby to be proud of taking me around places. :)

AbbySinthe
08-06-2009, 09:12 AM
My secret reason? I want to be a great example for the kids we don't have yet. I don't want to be a mom who can't keep up with the kids. I want to be the mom that wears them out every day!

Also, I want a body my husband can't keep his hands off of and I want to feel more comfortable in the bedroom, maybe even with the lights on! Right now, there's certain *ahem* positions I'd prefer not to be seen in. :o But i'm getting there... ;)

Sunnigummi
08-06-2009, 09:17 AM
Also, I want a body my husband can't keep his hands off of and I want to feel more comfortable in the bedroom, maybe even with the lights on! Right now, there's certain *ahem* positions I'd prefer not to be seen in. :o But i'm getting there... ;)


I'm pretty shameless, so the lights and different angles *ahem* don't bother me, but I would like to look good at the same time... sigh to weight loss being slow...

I just had to add something that I remembered. I must be a magnet for chicas with little to no self-esteem because I have another friend who always goes on about how other people say she's skinny. Um. She's not. She's slim yes, but definitely not skinny. Plus, she always gets competitive with me when we do anything remotely active, so I'd like to blow her out of the water the next time...

zoritsa
08-06-2009, 09:23 AM
My motives in the past were always "ulterior" in the sense that I really didn't care about my health, heart, or anything except for how I thought weight loss would affect my appearance. For the first time, I'm doing it because I want to be healthy! I'm so proud to be able to wake up every morning and say, "I work out." It feels sinfully good! The rest is just icing...although I have to say, to be able to fit into--and look good in--a pair of jeans just makes it too good to give up! Great question!


This is exactly how I used to lose weight.It was never about my health before.

Now I want to be healthy.My last Dr.'s appt.,my blood pressure was up enough that it was a concern.I was told to keep track of it over the next few months and if it was still high,I'd need to go back in to discuss meds.Now I'm looking at getting all my vitamins and minerals from natural,whole foods.

Now,if I have an ulterior motive....it's to head to the ski slopes this winter and be able to ski for hours :D

iDream
08-06-2009, 09:55 AM
I want to be in a constant state of readiness. By that I mean that I want to know that I can look awesome for any event at any time, because I have a body that is ready. I don't have any events scheduled at this time--but I am ready!

Ditto that! I hate whenever there's a family function or some other event that requires 'dressing up'! Rushing out to the store in a panic because nothing I have that's dressy fits anymore--ugh! Then feeling completely self conscious the whole time I'm wearing whatever it is I end up wearing because I don't think I look good.

Well, I'm all done with that! I'm finally feeling good about trying on clothes again and buying them because they're cute, not because they fit. :carrot:

So, that along with the obvious health and energy that comes along with good diet and exercise, is the reason I'm doing this! :)

Lori Bell
08-06-2009, 10:16 AM
I guess my secret reason would be health, kids, family and as the mom's above discussed...readiness! Love it!

I used to be the biggest TV/computer junkie in the county...now I watch maybe 1/2 hour of TV as I fall asleep at night and I'm on the computer for just a few minutes here and there each day, (unless it's raining!). From the minute I wake up, (around 6 am) to the time I go to bed, (11pm) I go, go, go! I rarely get tired, no more back, feet, neck, body pain. I never remember having so much energy....EVER! That is why I continue this awesome lifestyle.

PS: To the OP...your ex is an EX for a reason. He doesn't care if you are thin or not...Forget his sorry a$$ and move on to more delightful men!

Devsmama
08-06-2009, 10:34 AM
I want to look awesome. I want to wear sexy clothes and feel like a sex goddess. I want all the girls I used to know in high school to be jealous. I want both of the girls I used to be best friends with drop dead when they see how wonderful I look. It's true. And I'm a little ashamed.

But of course health has a lot to do with it, too. That's no lie at all. And I really do want to be able to bike and hike and all that fun stuff.

LMAO! Now that's a reason.

wanting2b140
08-06-2009, 11:10 AM
hey all! Just checking out other boards. I've got a long journey ahead but soooo ready for it! I am planning on losing 100 pounds (6 of which are already gone baby!!) so 94 lbs to go!

...motives... not be the biggest one at EVERY family event with my 6 sisters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blahhhhh

Hoping to stop by again sometime... :dust: to all!!!

mayness
08-06-2009, 11:19 AM
I realized a few days ago that I do have an ulterior motive! Well, besides the fact that this is at least 50% about appearance for me.

I'm both a scientist and a total geek, and we're not exactly known for being in the best physical shape... I don't want any of the stereotypes to apply to me! I want to show up looking sexy at biochemistry conferences, and fantasy football drafts, and 10+ player Munchkin games. I want people to find it hard to believe that I'm an avid gamer. I also feel a little guilty that I know so much about biology/metabolism and still I put so much crap into my body.

I also really, really want a breast augmentation/lift, but it's not worth doing until I get to goal weight (and maintain a little while) because who knows how much more they'll shrink as I lose the rest of the weight.

And I want to be able to go running wearing just a sports bra, no shirt. I don't know if that's even possible or if I'll always be too jiggly, but I'm praying I can get to that point some day. That would be so much more comfortable in the summer.

Bombe
08-06-2009, 11:29 AM
My ulterior motive is that I want my boyfriend to be unable to keep his hands off me! I want him to think I'm sinfully hot! Even though I know he's attracted to me now (otherwise he wouldn't be with me) I just want him to say "I have a drop dead gorgeous girlfriend!"

time2lose
08-06-2009, 11:32 AM
When I hit my 50's, I started contemplating my mortality. I needed to start checking items off on that bucket list! There were so many things that I had not done, or could not do, because of my weight. It was time to lose the weight so that I could have the life that I really wanted. It truly seemed now or never.

A full life became much more important than eating junkie food! :)

Pita09
08-06-2009, 11:42 AM
My ulterior motives other than the usual ones already mentioned for me wanting this weight off are:

Finally getting out of the plus size section of stores and shopping (and fitting!) into all the cute clothes I long to wear. I'm planning my future dream home right now with my sweetie and I will have a 9 x 10 closet in which to hold all my lovely, sexy, perfectly fitted clothes. He might get a small section. ;)

I want to get married on a tropical island in the next couple of years. I want to wear a flowing white little number and look incredible!

I want to prove to my family (all who have a weight issues) that it really can be done. I want to either inspire them or make them so jealous they will start losing their weight.

I want to show my daughter that it's never too late to improve your life and make a difference with postive changes.

salsa chip
08-06-2009, 11:45 AM
I realized a few days ago that I do have an ulterior motive! Well, besides the fact that this is at least 50% about appearance for me.

I'm both a scientist and a total geek, and we're not exactly known for being in the best physical shape... I don't want any of the stereotypes to apply to me! I want to show up looking sexy at biochemistry conferences, and fantasy football drafts, and 10+ player Munchkin games. I want people to find it hard to believe that I'm an avid gamer. I also feel a little guilty that I know so much about biology/metabolism and still I put so much crap into my body.

I also really, really want a breast augmentation/lift, but it's not worth doing until I get to goal weight (and maintain a little while) because who knows how much more they'll shrink as I lose the rest of the weight.

And I want to be able to go running wearing just a sports bra, no shirt. I don't know if that's even possible or if I'll always be too jiggly, but I'm praying I can get to that point some day. That would be so much more comfortable in the summer.

As a fellow geek (maths and languages) I can relate to SO MUCH of this! :D

Ija
08-06-2009, 11:46 AM
I have lots of primary motives, health, longevity, vigor... but that's not what this thread is about.

Ulterior motive?

First ever bikini.

DCHound
08-06-2009, 12:12 PM
Ulterior motive? He's 6'1, blonde, brown eyes, skinny, dorky, glasses, we used to work together a few years ago, went out a couple times but it never went anywhere...it wasn't the right time for either of us, for several very reasonable reasons. But he's still single and so am I...I've never forgotten him and I've heard from several people he hasn't forgotten me...and when the time is right, my intuition says it will be BOOM that's all she wrote. :) Really the only hold-up right now is distance, he lives very, very far away.

blueberry3
08-06-2009, 12:17 PM
I don't blame you at all. Doesn't everyone want to wow their ex just a little bit? :)

Aclai4067
08-06-2009, 12:23 PM
I want to be able to refrain from looking at any guy who calls me beautiful like he's crazy

Oh and I want to look good with my skinny family (especially my oh so petite sister. I fantasize that I'll be able to out-run her one day. She's super fast, beat all her tall, long-legged friends in their first 1/2 marathon)

jamiewyn
08-06-2009, 12:32 PM
Forgot to add:

I want my *** to look great in a pair of jeans! :lol:

salsa chip
08-06-2009, 12:40 PM
I want to be able to refrain from looking at any guy who calls me beautiful like he's crazy


+1 :hug:

Bac0s
08-06-2009, 12:44 PM
Many reasons.

My kids think I'm beautiful now, but my oldest is 6 and I'm afraid he won't think that for much longer, unless I lose weight :(

I am tired of having anxiety over things b/c of my weight. Flying (fear of fitting in seat/seatbelt, and then when I do, barely, the discomfort). I used to LOVE traveling and now I dread it b/c I'm so heavy. Going to special events and finding a dress that fits ok. Seeing all my friends for our annual get together (of whom I am the fattest) and dreading being in pics with them. Having very, very few pics of me with my kids b/c I can't stand to be in photos.

Also, I just want to be healthier. I want to get off my CPAP and stop having to take meds for acid reflux.

KatieBell28
08-06-2009, 12:49 PM
My husband has always been pretty physically fit. I mean, he has a little bit of extra fat on his belly, but you can't tell unless he has his shirt off. So my motives are..

- I'm tired of weighing more than my husband who is a foot taller than me.

- I'm tired of being the "fat girl" married to that "hot dude".


....Okay I have two more confessions. My ten year high school reunion is coming up in a few years, and I wanna be skinny and hotness for that.

And I have a b*tch of a first cousin that always used to tease me for being over weight. Well, I saw her a few weeks ago and she has gotten a little pudgy herself. (Happy freaking dance! :dance:) I'd love to waltz into where she works and weigh less than her ;)

ernurse
08-06-2009, 12:59 PM
Good morning ladies, I think I could type and type about this subject but most of all I want my old confidence back. I don't mean wearing short shorts and tank tops, because THAT will never happen...but I am an emergency department nurse and overweight, still wwwaaayyy overweight. Being healthy and at a healthy weight has a lot to do with my job. I'm getting there but I've a long road ahead of me still. Actually it's a long road as long as my life......hugs to everyone

Sunnigummi
08-06-2009, 01:08 PM
I'm both a scientist and a total geek, and we're not exactly known for being in the best physical shape... I don't want any of the stereotypes to apply to me! ....I also feel a little guilty that I know so much about biology/metabolism and still I put so much crap into my body.

I feel ya. Biologist here too. :hug:

shasha17a
08-06-2009, 01:33 PM
Well other than to be healthier and the fact that I'm ultimately doing this for myself there are a few things that would be the icing on the cake.
1. I'm tired of being fatter than my boyfriend
2. Tired of being the largest of my friends. I hate looking at pictures of us all and I stick out like a sore thumb.
3. Lots of cute clothes in my closet and stores that I want to start wearing.

Diva0467
08-06-2009, 02:14 PM
I guess like everyone, my biggest motive is to be a normal size and be healthy and happy, and able to live my life as I should be doing .. not drug down and inhibited by this weight.

I'm tired of "sitting out" on life because of my size and the embarrassment and feeling so self conscious about it.

And besides that? Yeah, I would love to be able to wear nice cute clothes again, that make me look stylish, and not 40 years older.

These are my reasons as well. I am tired of not having any current pictures of my for my family and friends because I REFUSE to allow my pic to be taken. I am tired of coming up with excuses to not want to go to the lake or Pool with my Man. I'm tired of wearing ugly, fat old lady clothes. I am tired of having to take meds to just to live everyday. I'm tired of being fat and always having it be an issue in the back of my head. I am tired of beating myself up when I see pics of my BFF's and they are all thin, toned, sun tanned, wearing bathing suits and tank tops and looking awesome at 40, and I am the fat one...I'm just plain sick of it!

I want to look awesome. I want to wear sexy clothes and feel like a sex goddess. I want all the girls I used to know in high school to be jealous. I want both of the girls I used to be best friends with drop dead when they see how wonderful I look. It's true. And I'm a little ashamed.

But of course health has a lot to do with it, too. That's no lie at all. And I really do want to be able to bike and hike and all that fun stuff.

I want to be a Sex Goddess again too, and not find excuses to NOT do it. I see other woman my age(42) still enjoying sex and having fun with it. I see it as a chore and we always have to be in the pitch black. I'm sick of that. I used to have it going on in that dept. Now I am lucky to get it 3 times a year. Sad but true, and it's not him...it's me.

Forgot to add:

I want my *** to look great in a pair of jeans! :lol:

WORD! Me too! ;)

ValRock
08-06-2009, 02:19 PM
I don't want to waste being young and pretty on being fat ;).

Aclai4067
08-06-2009, 02:32 PM
I'm tired of "sitting out" on life because of my size and the embarrassment and feeling so self conscious about it.

I wouldn't consider this an ulterior motive. For me it's a primary motive; it's important that I start living my life the way I want and not be held back by being too big or too out of shape!

wendyland
08-06-2009, 02:53 PM
I just want to my daughter to be proud of me. She has been teased because of my weight. She says that it doesn't bother her but I know that it does. She just doesnt want to hurt my feelings. Bless her little heart.


I can relate to that one. My girls aren't too bothered about it, but I think they would prefer if I could be more active with them.

wendyland
08-06-2009, 02:54 PM
I want to be able to go to second hand stores and buy "new to me" clothes. There's not much in my size, but there's so many cute clothes in smaller sizes. I would be so happy if I could wear a normal size L.

Aclai4067
08-06-2009, 02:56 PM
I want to be able to go to second hand stores and buy "new to me" clothes. There's not much in my size, but there's so many cute clothes in smaller sizes. I would be so happy if I could wear a normal size L.

Amen! All my friends shop at second hand stores and get awesome cheap stuff and they ask me why I spend so much on clothes. It sucks

cammieb
08-06-2009, 03:20 PM
Great question!

I've always been an "appearance" type person, so a lot of it is that, but I got teased a lot in high school after my friends, some of whom were the "popular kids" decided to hate me because of this popular guy I was kind of seeing dumped me for someone "hotter and thinner". I would like to waltz into my high school reunion successful, hot, and thin, and be like, "Wow, you really let yourself go" to the guy (I've seen recent pictures. Not a pretty thing). I suppose revenge isn't the greatest motive, but it's a nice bonus.

SexyInNC
08-06-2009, 03:37 PM
Well Im joining the military its my main reason, but deep down I wanna be someones awesome trophy wife. Noone is even going to give me a second glance being a fat mom of 2. Not to be cocky but I have a GREAT PERSONALITY....but I might miss a great man because he dont even give me a second glance cuz of baby tummy....know what I mean?

got2bhappy
08-06-2009, 06:26 PM
Besides for the obvious...wanting to be healthy, to be a good role model for my kids, to be positive influence on my also-overweight hubby, to be able to DO more, and to look nice...I have my 10 year high school reunion coming up. Not sure I want to go anyways, but if I do go I want to look damn good. And if I do look good by then, it will be more likely that I would go...just to see the looks on everyone's faces.

devadiva
08-06-2009, 06:47 PM
I WANT IT ALL!! I grew up chubby went through high school bigger not huge but not the popular or the cheerleader,went through my 20,30,40s yo yo ing always almost there. I did not discover exercise until my MID 50's and better eating. I am totaaly addicted to exercise now.
I started by wanting everything in my closet to fit,and having my husband desire me more.Not HATE MYSELF!!
NOW I have become a clothes horse, my husband calls me a hottie and can not keep up with me, and I do feel better about myself.EXERCISE HELPS DEPRESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DivineFidelity
08-06-2009, 07:04 PM
I have ALWAYS been big. I would kill to be able to just once buy a bikini...of course I don't know if that will ever happen, because stretch marks will never go away and I'm definitely covered in them...but that's a big motivator.

I also want to be able to be that drop dead gorgeous girl that walks in the room and everyone stares. I know I'm beautiful, I've got a great face, I'm confident in everything except for my fat and my rolls and what not. Once I lose that, so maybe I won't be able to wear a bikini, but I'll still be able to wear a little black dress and stun everybody.

I also want to feel more comfortable around my boyfriend. I'm sick of pulling away when he tries to hold me, or moving his hands away from specific areas (belly for the most part) because I don't want him to notice how big I am. I just want him to think I look amazing, I want to be the hottest girl he's ever dated. I definitely want to be sexier, not just around him....but just to be able to feel sexy would be great.

Oh oh, and shorts. I don't wear any other then guys basketball shorts atm. I'm too afraid of my big giant thunder thighs. I would LOVEEE to be able to buy a cute pair of shorts and not have my thighs all rubbing together and be able to wear them with a cute tank top or crop top and feel COMFORTABLE.

I guess you could say I've got a lot of ulterior motives...lol

Judy Lynn
08-06-2009, 09:02 PM
My ulterior motive is to be thinner than my sister for once in my life. I have always been the fat sister.

But really, that is not as important to me as feeling better physically and mentally. I just turned 50 and realized I am whiling away my life being fat. I don't need to be thin, I just want to be normal. To walk into a normal size store an be able to buy something off the rack, to meet people that I know and not worry that they are thinking about how fat I am. Oh, the list goes on ....

amynbebes
08-06-2009, 09:35 PM
Well, not ulterior but my main motivation is that I had gestational diabetes with my last pregnancy which creates a 50% greater chance of getting regular diabetes at some point in my life. But I do have pleeeeently of ulterior motives ;)
Don't want to be the fat mom on the soccer team
want to be able to throw on whatever clothes and look good
want to battle aging as much as possible and eating healthy and exercising will help that
want to not feel gross in a sleeveless shirt
want to set a good example for my kids
want to look good in my sister's wedding in 2010
don't want to be the fat friend
and a biggie is that I have virtually no pics of myself with my kids. It's truly sad because as a photographer I tout how important that is but don't practice what I preach

Windchime
08-06-2009, 09:51 PM
My ulterior motive is that I want to find a man and right now, I think they're having trouble seeing past the fat. Being tall AND fat is not a "plus" as far as men are concerned. It seems that many men are fine with one or the other, but being both tall and fat is just more than most of them want.

So that's my ulterior motive. My main motives are similar to everyone elses. I'm putting them in past tense becaue I'm on the verge of many of them not being true anymore.

I was tired of wearing clothes that were unattractive, but they are what fits so I bought them
I was of moving around heavily and feeling out of shape
I was tired of men seeing right past me, as if I was invisible.
I was tired of feeling guilty and upset over what I ate and the effect it had on my body
I was tired of having no confidence.
I am sad that I have very few pictures of myself with my kids.

Diva0467
08-06-2009, 11:21 PM
Great question!

I've always been an "appearance" type person, so a lot of it is that, but I got teased a lot in high school after my friends, some of whom were the "popular kids" decided to hate me because of this popular guy I was kind of seeing dumped me for someone "hotter and thinner". I would like to waltz into my high school reunion successful, hot, and thin, and be like, "Wow, you really let yourself go" to the guy (I've seen recent pictures. Not a pretty thing). I suppose revenge isn't the greatest motive, but it's a nice bonus.

Girl I heard that! <giggles>;)

lunameower
08-06-2009, 11:52 PM
I am not going to lie, I love shopping the discount racks, but, of course, the larger sizes are picked through or not appealing to me. I saw somewhere that the most manufactured sizes of clothing are like sizes 2-6, which we know the average woman is nowhere near, so of course they are going to have a lot more clothes to be put on clearance.
Right now, like many people my financial situation is far from ideal so wherever I can save money I'm thrilled, I'm not really a clothes horse, but I'd be like to be able to afford better clothing without always having to pay full price.

kitchencurtains3
08-07-2009, 05:10 AM
My main goal is better health and to avoid diabetes, but as for ulterior motives, I really miss clothes shopping!

merose
08-07-2009, 06:06 AM
one of my main reasons is to regain some confidence and actually move on in my life.
but ulterior motives...
1. to start surfing again when I move back to Australia (at the moment I feel more like a whale than a mermaid in the water)
2. to wear cool, edgy clothes, instead of whatever I can fin that fits me.
3. to not be the fat sister! I have three thin to normal sisters and I'm sick of feeling a bit second rate around them.


Oh, and like a couple of other people have mentioned, my 10 year school reunion in a year and a half! I want to look gooooood! I'll be done with my degree by then too. I just want to show them that I have fulfilled the promise of my school years instead of being a broken and fat failure.

and many many more.

jhonny
08-07-2009, 06:07 AM
just dont disregard all your healthy diet...

SoulSurvivor
08-07-2009, 09:27 AM
Well alot of it is to do with health, my PCOS seems to be getting worse with the more weight I have put on... not forgetting my back ache and sore feet I started to get from working a part time retail job! Now that I've stopped working there I guess it doesn't matter so much but it's the principle!

But most of all I want to do it for 3 reasons:

1) To make my family proud, I have been getting pestered by relatives for too long and it's made me constantly breakdown. I just want my grandparents especially to have good memories of me and not to be worried for me.

2) To no longer have to be the "big bubbly beautiful girl", I'm sick and tired of being a 'big girl' , I mean Im lucky I've got my curves but my curves would look so much nicer on a smaller size!

3) To be able to go shopping anywhere and everywhere and finally be able to buy a pair of 7 jeans, and wear a bikini.

sidhe
08-07-2009, 12:24 PM
I want to know what I look like. I've looked this way most of my life, and while I'm certainly not painful to look at, there's a certain robust mediocrity to my appearance. I have a sneaky suspicion that I may be really beautiful under all this...and I want to find out.

And, of course, rub it in to the boss who (I suspect) fired me for my slight weight gain in a period of high stress. ;)

forestroad
08-07-2009, 01:02 PM
I don't want my thinner friends thinking, "It is so wrong that she has a boyfriend and I can't find anyone."

sidhe- I suspect I was passed over for a job that involved some PR because I was heavier than the other applicants. That has to be one of the worst feelings.

Starrynight
08-07-2009, 01:33 PM
I've always been overweight.. not so much as a kid, but I was tall for my age (haha, now I'm short..) so I always felt bigger.. but anyway, other than the health reasons such as to prevent what runs in my family like diabetes..
I really want to lose weight b/c I secretly love fashion.. I mean I really want to wear "green" clothing b/c that is more important to me than fashion, but the two can be combined..
Its so expensive though, so I feel like I should invest in that when I'm thinner.. for now I'm just not spending money b/c I have enough clothes to last me until I get to.. 143 again lol.
I know I'm pretty and intelligent, and yes I have an hourglass figure and my curves get compliments.. but I'd love to be THIN and curvy for once and be the total package for my bf (even if he already thinks I am haha). I want to generate envy among his friends.. lol even if that's terrible.
I want to wear shorts, sleeveless tops, short skirts w/ boots, and dare I say.. maybe even a bikini..?
I want to know how it feels like to just be comfortable and light.. and not feel like covering up my lumps and bumps..

NiteNicole
08-07-2009, 07:27 PM
My deep, emotional reason is that I have a three year old who is watching everything I do and picking up my bad habits.

My shallow reason is that fat girl clothes are ugly and I like to shop.

SunnyP
08-07-2009, 07:47 PM
I'm turning 40 in 17 months, and I want to finally see what it feels like to be fit and healthy (I have to quit smoking too to achieve that goal, aaah!) Also, I want to be in shape in case we get pregnant :) Being a 39 year old (or older!) pregnant lady will be hard enough on my body even in tip top shape! Gotta be prepared for what may come.

girllovesmath
08-07-2009, 07:49 PM
I used to only want to lose weight for my appearance and I think that's why I've never been successful. If I didn't lose 10 pounds in the first few days I would get upset and start eating again. I would just give up.

Now, my motives have changed. I want to be healthy. I want to look beautiful on my wedding day. I want to have kids. I don't want to be in the 'obese' range anymore. I want to qualify for life insurance. I want to impress my family and friends (and make some of them jealous). :p

bellastarr
08-07-2009, 08:30 PM
We all have one! What's your secret reason for wanting to drop the weight? We all want to be healthier, thinner, have more energy. Me? I want to wow my ex, make him see what he let go. He never commented on my weight but all the girls he had dated in the past were just little, bitty things. Oddly enough, I lost 15 pounds in the time we were together.

We should talk cuz you sound just like me! My motive too is my ex, i work with him so i see him everyday and there are times i still see him checking me out, even though he is now engaged, to a girl who is not skinny at all. The sad thing is even tho he is engaged i still want him, i'm not over him at all, we're still friends and in my mind i feel like maybe we broke up cause i just wasn't good enough for him ( meaning NOT SKINNY enough). I guess in my sick twisted mind i blame my weight for everything, even tho his fiance is not thin at all and when i was dating him i was my smallest i had been in a long time so i don't think he cares that much about weight. Side note he is a friekne rail, 6 ft 4 and not an ounce of fat on him, he is a big time runner... i always felt like so self concious even though it was my own self feeling that way, he never acted like me not being super skinny mattered. Anyway, after finding out he was engaged i of course turned to food and gained a lot of weight and have been avoiding seeing him all summer (we are teachers so i haven't had to see him at work for a while) cause i don't want him to see how i have let myself go . Now i am trying to take it off by the first day of school so that like you he will hopefully see what he is missing out on! Good luck with the weight loss and if you ever need to vent about an ex let me know lol!

Cebsme
08-07-2009, 08:36 PM
I had a doctor once tell me that all my problems were in my head and that I was just fat.

Well my new doctor diagnosed my thyroid problem, and my progesterone problem. I am doing the same things I have done in the past to lose weight and they are actually working because my thyroid is functioning, and estrogen isnt ruling my body.

Anyways, first doctor has since gained a quite a bit of weight and honestly I just want to show him that I was right there was a problem and it wasn't just me being fat there was a reason for it.

My big motivation. I want babies and lots of them. Fertility issues for me have been caused by my weight and progesterone imbalance, the cream helps with the imbalance and we are taking care of the weight. My husband and I have been trying for years, always told there's nothing medically wrong (no one except new doctor ever tested my estrogen and progesterone levels), so we are hoping this works and we can get pregnant without fertility medications, however I wouldn't mind the heightened chance of twins with the medications because it truly is what I want.

normalee
08-07-2009, 10:34 PM
Well, I'm young and vain. I want to show everyone that I can be smart, kind, AND pretty. I want to be able to fit into my older sister's clothes, I want to be able to prove to my P.E. teacher that I CAN run those laps, and I want to be able to look into the mirror and smile every single time.

mygritsconfessions
08-07-2009, 10:35 PM
Health and Feeling Good Each Day ;-)

Mickeypnd
08-07-2009, 11:15 PM
to wear a bikini!

Ija
08-07-2009, 11:20 PM
I just bought my first ever bikini today... I'm both excited and nervous as **** to give it a test drive :dizzy:

Oasis
08-07-2009, 11:23 PM
I'm tired of wearing gym shorts and t-shirts. I'm tired of pretending to like being a tomboy so I can hide my body. I want to comfortably wear form-fitting clothing, while still being modest of course.

Health has a lot to do with it but I can't lie and say it's my # 1 reason.

Thighs Be Gone
08-07-2009, 11:29 PM
So I won't be diagnosed with a disease I could have prevented.

So I can be fit and move like I am in stellar shape.

To be a MILF. Yep, there I said it!

Nella
08-08-2009, 02:31 PM
to wear a bikini!

Yep, this and to make my husband's jaw drop with some new lingerie ;)

Narnia99
08-08-2009, 08:57 PM
I want to feel confident again. It's been 4 years but I remember how I felt before I put this weight on, and I want to feel that way again. Right now I am embarressed to see anyone because I know the first thing they think is - Wow she's gained a lot of weight! I hate clothes shopping and I never let anyone take my picture anymore. I know I am missing out on so many things because of my weight so it's time to do something about it and get my life back!!

justformenow1
08-08-2009, 09:04 PM
[QUOTE=caryesings;2859214]One item that got me thinking about putting in the effort to remove the extra 100 lbs I've been carrying around for the last 20 years was a conversation I had with a family member. I think I've led a near magical life but somehow they saw my life as really sad. I couldn't figure it out until it clicked that they saw me as "the fat girl" so all other accomplishments somehow didn't count.

OMG!!!
I totally feel and understand that 1!!!:dz:

caliyah
08-08-2009, 10:29 PM
1. To live the life I deserve to live and respect myself and love myself and treat myself the way I deserve to be treated.


I stood at my graduation in May and was SAD! Of all things...because of my weight. I don't deserve that, I can't keep living my life like this. I know in my heart that its destiny to lose this weight and I will always keep at it. Jillian Michaels said --When you are stagnant you are not really living --I don't want to be stagnant any longer -- I want to be LIVING and growing.


I agree with that point about the accomplishments not being counted! I've done great at everything I do but the one topic that always comes up BUT you're fat all the time. That's why I'm doing this I guess as well. Is to have a strong well rounded life where I work hard at taking care of myself emotionally and physically.

HUGS TO ALL OF YOU LADIES!!!!!!!

Windchime
08-09-2009, 04:26 AM
To be a MILF. Yep, there I said it!

Heh, I've always kind of suspected that I might have a little MILF wanna-be lurking inside me, too!

Note: I think I got hit on by a waiter at Happy Hour the other night. Apparently he called me "Sweetheart." I didn't hear it, but I did notice when he kind of got into my personal space as he was delivering my drink. It's not MILF territory, but it was still kind of nice.

Minya
08-09-2009, 05:17 AM
I want to drop the weight because I have never known what it's like to be thin. :(

helwa588
08-09-2009, 05:24 AM
I want to get married and have kids. honestly i can't see any man being attracted to me with the size I am now. And I want to be a healthy when I get pregnant.

helwa588
08-09-2009, 05:27 AM
I want to drop the weight because I have never known what it's like to be thin. :(

i never been thin either. i just want to know how it feels not be called fat anymore. the lowest i ever been was 195lbs.

Minya
08-09-2009, 08:53 AM
awe :( I feel your pain, I was heavy since I was a baby so I don't know what my lowest weight has ever been

rockinrobin
08-09-2009, 09:14 AM
To be a MILF. Yep, there I said it!

All right, as long as it's been brought up.

One day a couple of months ago, I was going out to some party. I was ready to walk out, my 17 year old daughter exclaims, "Oh my G-d, my mother's a MILF!"

I was definitely feeling quite good about myself if I do say so! Me? A MILF? Ha. I have definitely come a long way. A very, very long way. Me? Yes - ME. A MILF!!! Ha. :D

Lori Bell
08-09-2009, 09:41 AM
Okay...What in the world is a MILF? Do I wanna be one? :)

rockinrobin
08-09-2009, 04:31 PM
Okay...What in the world is a MILF? Do I wanna be one? :)

Hmmm, how to say this without getting deleted .... , here goes - Mother I'd Like to ____.

And yes - you want to be one! Wait - you ARE one.

It's just another way of saying you are HOT! And SEXY! And of a certain age...... Like you wouldn't call a teenager a - MILF.

juliastl27
08-09-2009, 10:51 PM
i want to wear cute clothes, lol.

ladyfyre
08-10-2009, 10:54 PM
I want to feel good about myself when my husband touches me...not be worried about the fat he is touching.

Bonnie+J
08-11-2009, 07:38 AM
i am dying for another baby, but have been told that i would have a high risk pregnancy if i concieved now.

also, when i went to my husbands christmas party last year i was the biggest person in the room. when i left home i thought i looked great, but when i got there i felt so fat and frumpy. my dh didnt notice, but when i go next time i want him to feel proud that i am his wife.

salsa chip
08-11-2009, 07:51 AM
i am dying for another baby, but have been told that i would have a high risk pregnancy if i concieved now.


I dream of being married and being healthy enough to have a happy pregnancy. But I'm worried that time's running out for me :(

kaplods
08-11-2009, 08:14 AM
I think in the past, weight loss was always about the ulterior motives. Beauty, social approval, sex attraction, self-esteem, self-confidence, revenge or retaliation....

Health was really the furthest thing from my mind. In fact, I often risked my health by attempting weight loss with dumb and even dangerous methods.

I won't say that I have no remaining ulterior motives, but they're pretty miniscule in importance now that my primary motivation is more straightforward - health and fitness. I suspect that my paradigm shift is partially responsible for my unprecedented success (I also addressed physiological issues, so that's a big factor also).

Bonnie+J
08-11-2009, 08:49 AM
I dream of being married and being healthy enough to have a happy pregnancy. But I'm worried that time's running out for me :(

if thats you in your pic you definitely dont look old enough to worry about the clock ticking so loud that you feel time is almost up! you're stunningly beautiful!

salsa chip
08-11-2009, 09:08 AM
if thats you in your pic you definitely dont look old enough to worry about the clock ticking so loud that you feel time is almost up! you're stunningly beautiful!

Oh, thank you for the compliment! I'm in my late 20s...and worry a lot :)

jamiewyn
08-11-2009, 09:42 AM
also, when i went to my husbands christmas party last year i was the biggest person in the room. when i left home i thought i looked great, but when i got there i felt so fat and frumpy. my dh didnt notice, but when i go next time i want him to feel proud that i am his wife.
I hear you on this. DH always tells me how proud he is to take me to work events because I am smart and have great conversations w/his co-workers. I *do* love that, but I'd also love to the "Hot", smart wife. I'd love to be the "whole package" :)

jamiewyn
08-11-2009, 09:43 AM
Gotta say....I'm LOVING this thread! :D

Thighs Be Gone
08-11-2009, 09:47 AM
Hmmm, how to say this without getting deleted .... , here goes - Mother I'd Like to ____.

And yes - you want to be one! Wait - you ARE one.

It's just another way of saying you are HOT! And SEXY! And of a certain age...... Like you wouldn't call a teenager a - MILF.



Yes, you are both a couple of MILF's! WORK IT! OWN IT! :carrot:

My hubby calls me one sometimes--my babysitter too! LOL. Some teen boys yelled it out their window a couple of months ago. LOL--I will take it. It certainly beats what they used to yell out the window!

Thighs Be Gone
08-11-2009, 09:50 AM
I hear you on this. DH always tells me how proud he is to take me to work events because I am smart and have great conversations w/his co-workers. I *do* love that, but I'd also love to the "Hot", smart wife. I'd love to be the "whole package" :)

I have always had great conversations with my husband's colleagues as well. Inside, I guess I am one of the guys at heart. Just beware though. Dynamics of those conversations and how they are viewed by the men and those watching you change greatly as your body transforms. I agree about the WHOLE PACKAGE--how hot is that!

SweetScrumptious
08-12-2009, 02:19 AM
My selfish/secret reason for losing weight - trying to land a decent guy. I know looks isn't everything but man... I wanna be DAMN hot!

georgiad
08-12-2009, 02:38 PM
Reasons to lose weight: to be slim, healthy, fit, confident and happy.

Real reasons to lose weight: to make my ex's jaw drop, to wear sexy clothes, to have wild, confident sex as often as possible.

:D

mygritsconfessions
08-12-2009, 02:49 PM
Of course health, but also to feel good, sexy, energetic and enjoy life more. I am sick of holding back on things I want to do because of weight issues......Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

dcapulet
08-12-2009, 02:50 PM
I want more intimacy with my husband. He doesn't mind the way I look - I do. I enjoyed our time together more when i was lighter.

zibsca
08-12-2009, 05:26 PM
I want to dance as I want to dance. I don't have enough posts to add the url, but it's on youtube ~ Step Butterfly ~ lovely French women demonstrating. I want that fluidity and flexibility. I've had it bookmarked for a couple of years as with many of the reggae dancehall dance vids but.. that one.. Fiyah!


Health, longevity, positive influence on my daughter, all good too, but I want those MOVES!! :D

shcirerf
08-12-2009, 08:02 PM
Health of course is the real motive, I feel so much better.

Ulterior motive. My boss's wife and her rich b**** friends have starting going to an "elite fitness" class and getting their butts whipped into shape by a State Patrolman/SWAT guy.

They are all gaga over him and this class and act like they have all become gold medal Olympians or something, and if you're not part of HIS fitness and nutrition program, you are destined to be fat, out of shape and of course poor and low class all your life.

I want to get back down to goal and get back in shape to prove you don't need a lot of money, snooty friends, and some guy with a night stick and a whistle to beat your body into submission.

I actually know the trooper and he's a nice guy, works out of the same troop as my son, it's not him that bugs me, it's the attitude of the self sanctimonious, holier than thou, B***** who stop in here and fawn all over each other about it in front of the staff. GAG!

Diva
08-18-2009, 01:04 PM
I just thought of this one due to the commercial on TV. I don't know if it's an ulterior motive, but I can't wait until I can fit into Victoria Secret Bra's again! Well everything VS actually. It's been so long since I even thought that maybe one day I can wear cute sexy things again...so Yeah... add this to my list! ;)

NightengaleShane
08-18-2009, 01:11 PM
My ulterior motive was to turn heads, be called hot again, and get guys to do lots of random small favors for me. :D

When I was younger (before I ever gained weight), I relied on my looks for EVERYTHING. Sadly, it worked most of the time. Any time I had a job interview, I always wore a slightly shorter than appropriate skirt with a perfectly matched ensemble and hoped a man would be interviewing me. Once I gained weight, I did not have that option, so I was THRILLED to see how successful I might be able to be as a decent looking woman with a brain. Yeah, the "hot girl with a brain" factor was my mission.

My other ulterior motive was to stop putting my life on hold. As soon as I started losing the weight, I finally started living. AND I wanted my style back... I saw no point of clothes shopping while at a size I didn't care to be.

Diva
08-18-2009, 01:20 PM
WOW Shane! Me too! I want to be HOT again and turn heads! I was just telling someone the other day how before I got fat I depended on and used my "looks" a lot to get what I want, and it feels like I am looking at a stranger when I look into the mirror. It's like there's a disconnect, because I don't "feel" like that fat chick starring back at me. So it's hard now when I walk into a room and I am virtually invisible. It hurts my feelings and really does a number on my self esteem. I've done nothing but totally be a recluse for almost 17 yrs of my life and it's time for this to be over. But I am now determined for more than one reason, and mostly to be "Healthy" again, so I know it'll happen, and I can put this Fat nightmare behind me! I am ready to LIVE again! I need to be me!

Onederchic
08-18-2009, 01:28 PM
Fine..I'll admit it..I want my boyfriend to say I am pretty. He doesn't say I am ugly now or anything derogatory but he has yet to tell me I am pretty :(

Diva
08-18-2009, 01:39 PM
Fine..I'll admit it..I want my boyfriend to say I am pretty. He doesn't say I am ugly now or anything derogatory but he has yet to tell me I am pretty :(

:( That's sad.

But I think you're pretty so there! You are an inspiration and a great motivator too!

Onederchic
08-18-2009, 01:51 PM
Aww, you're the bestest, Diva..thank you so much :hug::hug::hug:

nikaylabramwell
08-18-2009, 02:02 PM
because last week i went to buy a bench sweater wore it once and ended up with 3 holes in itt! 100 dollar swater and i was forced to bring it backk,i cried for the hole day thinking i wasent good enough so buy christmas im getting that friggan BENCH SWATER!

happeningf
08-18-2009, 02:30 PM
I was tired of:

Saying I wasn't hot wearing sleeved t shirts and long jeans out in the sun even though I was scorching but would never go out in a tank and shorts..

Feeling like my bfs could and should get better than me

Feeling disgust at myself when I try on clothes, only getting what fits and not what looks cute

Going out to see my friends in what is my standard outfit, jeans, and a loose black top, hoping nobody will notice I wore this outfit way too much.

Lying and saying I hate the beach and pools, and dreading going to Vegas because people will want to hit the pool, and I'll lie and pretend I'm tired or want to gamble.

Not eating in front of friends/guys as though I'm fooling them!

Jae165
08-18-2009, 05:17 PM
This time around it's all about my health, mental and physical. To stop to bad thoughts from creeping in.

Along the way I get to get:
My wedding band back on
My clothes to fit again, instead of squeezing in.
To wear the boots I bought last year and could not wear because my calfs were too big
A better attitude about my. Was getting to the point were I did not care about appearence.

jamiewyn
08-18-2009, 05:58 PM
Onderchick. Maybe your BF needs his eyes checked! :D I'd KILL to have your skin. I think you're VERY pretty!

I am loving this thread. I keep thinking of things to add. I figure the longer my list, the harder it will be to quit, right?

DH and I are planning a trip to Hawaii for the Spring when he returns. It will be the honeymoon we never had. Being confronted w/Waikiki Beach should help motivate me! :lol:

Also. collarbones. I haven't seen mine in ages. I want to see my collarbones.

Onederchic
08-18-2009, 06:00 PM
Aww Jamie, how sweet! Thank you very much :hug::hug:

Hawaii is a motivator for sure :D

Katie'sMom
08-18-2009, 06:01 PM
My ulterior motive is to set a good example for my daughter. I don't want to be the 'fat mom.'
I am also looking forward to buying clothes! Cute clothes, that look good on me, instead of just buying anything that fits.

angieaang
08-19-2009, 12:33 AM
I'm trying to get into that bikini baby!!!! YEAH!!!!

Blissful76
08-19-2009, 02:31 AM
I want to wow my entire family and look freaking amazing in my clothes. Yup, I am VERY shallow about this. I also want to get my boobs done and want the weight off first.

Julietta
08-19-2009, 05:48 AM
I got (eventually!) firm and committed because I had an important role in a theatre play (I'm an amateur actress :))... and my character was supposed to be astonishing beautiful (this was important also for the whole story plot)... and even if I was repeating myself "if they gave you the role, it means that you ARE beautiful, or at least that you can PRETEND to be beautiful"... I thought I wouldn't be very relaxed and comfortable on the stage without losing a little bit of weight. I didn't want to be on the stage at the premiere in panic thinking "OMG, I feel chubby and my character is supposed to be *commonly* beautiful... what will the audience think?".

AND

I'm also trying to go vegan! :carrot:
for ethical reasons. and I want to show people around me that it CAN be done and that being vegan can also make you beautiful. So maybe I can convince someone else to go vegan. :D

ohiofreespirit
08-19-2009, 06:19 AM
i can actually find clothes i like now so thats not really a factor for me. Mostly, i want to beable to move around like i used to. Chase my dogs, run after Frisbees and be able to do it for more then 10 minutes. Go up and down stairs better, not get winded when i walk or quickly exert myself.


These things are huge for me. i'm not looking for perfection in my body but i do want to get things out of life that i can't at this point.


Oh yeah, and the whole fat face thing bums me out. my hair looks cute but i've got a fat face. :(

kimberleyanddarren
08-19-2009, 09:21 AM
Mine is simply that i dont want to spend the rest of my life dieting and thinking about food and everything else, i want to be able to trust myself around food and know that i can eat sensibly and not have to have it occupy my thoughts every waking hour im fed up of having to think about it and dont want to be 50 looking back thinking i wish i had done something about it when i was 20 yaknow.

matafleur
08-20-2009, 03:52 AM
Same as was said earlier - I've always been overweight, and I want to see what I look like without all this extra padding.

Jinx
08-20-2009, 04:32 AM
This is a hard one for me- the main reason is to get my health back and get off all these meds, the other is to feel better look great of course!
The one thing about my body that bothers me so much is my tummy, my husband has not seen me without clothes in over a year. I change in the bathroom and during sex I keep a pillow or sheet near me in case he puts his hand near my stomach. I want that insecurity to go away. I want to feel attractive and carefree at that time. There I said it and I hope it was not too much information. My husband told me once that he feels like the only thing on my mind during sex is him gettimg near my stomach and that he loves me and that I am perfect to him. It made me feel so ashamned because he was right, it was on my mind the whole time. I miss feeling uninhibited the most.

WSChick
08-20-2009, 05:24 AM
What's your ulterior motive?


Well I have a few...

Myself ! I have realized that I need to get healthier for me, myself and I :)

Also because I want to look better for my Hubbs, he married me at this weight but I want him to be proud of me.

And last but not least, I want to run with my Aunt in the Marine Corps Marathon in honor of my cousin and I will need a lot of working up to that point because it's a whopping 26 miles ! It take a few years, but I will get myself in shape to be able to do it !

rocket pop
08-24-2009, 12:09 AM
So that I can have arms like Linda Hamilton in Terminator2.

Linda hamilton paid very dearly for those arms - she became anorexic under the pressure to look like that.

qqforweightloss
08-24-2009, 12:13 AM
Like most others I'm sure, I want to be healthy and fit.
But I'm used to being stared at, and having my looks commented on. It's been a long time since I've felt pretty, I want to feel hot again!
Plus- I want to not be annoyed by the super skinny girl with the big boobs who works at my husband's office. Our marriage is secure, but I'M insecure- if that makes sense :P I don't want to feel awful every time I see her thinking, "He works with someone with THAT body and he can still find MINE attractive?"

000cozzie000
08-28-2009, 08:30 AM
I love this thread!

Ok my ulterior motive is that I have an ex-flatmate who I was madly in love with. Of course I never told him, and he never said anything so I'm sure he had no feelings for me. We were great friends but that was it (if you've experienced one-sided love, I'm sure you know how painful it is).

I'm almost certain that if I wasn't obese we would have dated, since we spent almost every minute together for 6 months. He's not even living in the same country anymore, but we still keep in touch on facebook every now and then.

And well, I want to show him what he missed out on. He's called me "pretty" and "gorgeous" before.. and I him to see how gorgeous I can really be.

There I said it! LOL

Nate0201
08-28-2009, 11:26 AM
My main goals are of course live longer etc... The normal things, but my alterior goal is totally vain like wear just a wife beater and shorts in the summer or take my shirt off at the beach and not wonder who is disgusted.

sherrybwc
08-29-2009, 10:26 PM
I will be 35 in about 6 months, I'm tired of being fat. I want to wear cute clothes.

You're my hero, you know!

Seriously, though, I want to lose for all the "right" reasons as well...I'm about to turn 50 In January and have finally come to the realization that I don't have as many days ahead of me as I have behind me (GAWD! How morose!), but if I am to be COMPLETELY honest, I "also" want to PARTICIPATE in life wearing something other than a baggy t-shirt just to hide my tummy bulge!

Sherry

sherrybwc
08-29-2009, 10:28 PM
The well-balanced reason is to improve my health and help boost my self-confidence.

The not-so-well-balanced reason is to gain appreciative attention from men. There, I said it :sorry:

:D

sherrybwc
08-29-2009, 10:34 PM
I have lots of primary motives, health, longevity, vigor... but that's not what this thread is about.

Ulterior motive?

First ever bikini.

Bikini? Shoot, I'd be just GIDDY with a one piece! :dizzy:

OK...add "so I can go swimming again" to my reasons (I used to LOVE swimming a few decades ago!).

S

Trix4u
08-29-2009, 10:38 PM
To feel attractive again and have people notice me like they use to. Mainly though for my health so I can be around for my children.

est1991
08-30-2009, 03:51 AM
i really want to lose weight to be healthy and for once feel great everday.

my other motives are...
to, for the first time every, wear a bikini in public and feel completly comfortable about myself.

to no longer be the 'big' friend, i'm tired of it, i feel like i'm only there to make my friends seem prettier and thinner. i love them like sisters, but thats how i always feel when we're around eachother.

to feel confident and comfortable with who i am and let no one stand in my way anymore.

and to stop my mom from complaining and pestering me about the weight. she says she's not being mean and she's just helping but it really hurts, i cry almost everyday b/c of the way she tries to 'help' me.

and also, i want to live in hawaii sometime soon in the next few years and i want to be able to go to the beach feeling good about myself everyday.

rose89
08-30-2009, 04:13 AM
I want to be healthy... I have a family history of heart attacks and I'm not ready to be the next in line!

That's my non shallow reason.

Also:

- I'm sick of being a fat vegan. I'm sick of telling people I'm vegan and having them say, "Oh I thought vegans were skinny?"

- I want my ex boyfriend to hate himself for breaking up with me :D

- I'm sick of being told that I have a "pretty face" - I want to be the whole package.

- I hate back fat!!!!!!!!!

- and tummy fat!!!!!

- I don't want to be the "fat friend" anymore. All my friends are so thin!

- I want to be able to eat something and not have my father make a mean comment about how it's going to make me gain more weight.

- I'm sick of TALKING about it. I'm ready to DO IT!

Hydra
08-30-2009, 05:37 AM
This time around it's all about my health, mental and physical. To stop to bad thoughts from creeping in.



Me too. I feel that my mind and spirit are well and I want my body to be healthy and well also. I am getting older and carrying around my weight is taking a toll on my health and I don't want my well being to suffer.

Minya
08-31-2009, 05:11 AM
i want to show the people of my past what i did and that i did it through all the insults, the harassment, and torment they put me through. Also I want to see what I look like thin, never been thin in my life :D

Primm
08-31-2009, 06:49 AM
My main motivation is like the rest of you. Health, wellbeing , being there for my family, all that stuff.

My short term motivation though, is slightly more selfish. My ex-sister in law is getting married in 3 weeks. All my ex-husband's family will be there. I still get along well with them, I just couldn't stay married to him. He left me for a younger, hotter version.

They've split up and he's remarried someone who is older and not so attractive. He's stacked on the weight, as well as getting very grey.

It's the first time I've seen most of my old "family" in about 5 years. I want gasps and exclamations of how good I look. And how stupid he was.

So there. I've said it. Does that make me a bad person? It's not my main motivator, but the thought of the wedding has been keeping me on track for the last couple of weeks. Whatever it takes, right?

rainsweptviola
08-31-2009, 10:17 PM
Ruth, I don't think that makes you a bad person at all! I would be doing the same thing, and I hope you DO make him eat his heart out. I'm rooting for you!!

pucedaisy
08-31-2009, 10:36 PM
I want to look and feel great at my brother's wedding in September, not worry about pictures and all those people who haven't seen me in ten years. I want to get a beautiful dress and feel beautiful when I give the reading at the wedding!

salsa chip
09-01-2009, 03:38 AM
My main motivation is like the rest of you. Health, wellbeing , being there for my family, all that stuff.

My short term motivation though, is slightly more selfish. My ex-sister in law is getting married in 3 weeks. All my ex-husband's family will be there. I still get along well with them, I just couldn't stay married to him. He left me for a younger, hotter version.

They've split up and he's remarried someone who is older and not so attractive. He's stacked on the weight, as well as getting very grey.

It's the first time I've seen most of my old "family" in about 5 years. I want gasps and exclamations of how good I look. And how stupid he was.

So there. I've said it. Does that make me a bad person? It's not my main motivator, but the thought of the wedding has been keeping me on track for the last couple of weeks. Whatever it takes, right?

I dunno if it makes you a bad person, but if it does, I'm right there with you and we can share healthy snacks whilst everyone else is knocked over by how effin' fabulous we both look and how we ooze beauty and self-confidence.

I'd like to be able to do something similar, you see ;) Heck, I got on this thread and said I wanted attention from men! Talk about daring :p

georgiad
09-01-2009, 04:47 PM
I love this thread. I already posted but I want to add more.

I have a friend who I go on nights out with a lot. She's really pretty, and gets loads of attention from men while I just stand there and get bored. I would love to get some of the attention that she gets. I used to get loads of attention from men when I was even just 20lbs thinner, and I would love to get that back.

Also, I'm sick of the ways in which people are rude to me just because of the way I look. People will deliberately avoid me, stand instead of sit next to me on the train, not use the same public toilet as I've been in, sit in silence instead of talk to me, doors slammed in my face instead of held for me, etc. I would love for people to not be frightened of me, and even want to talk to me. And I would love to get favours and nice things done just by batting an eyelash and flicking my hair!

There are also so many different types of clothes I want to wear, especially knee-high boots. I also want to be comfortable wearing my corsets (although I love them, they make me feel so good!), wearing a short skirt, and I would love to wear dresses as my everyday wear. Oooh, and lingerie. I'm going to buy so much sexy lingerie when I get to goal.

Additionally, I do go swimming occasionally, by myself, but I'd love to go with my friends and family, especially my little brother. We do loads of stuff together, but I'd love us to go to the big leisure pool near our house and go on the flumes and slides and stuff. That would make me so happy, but I'm just too self-conscious at the moment.

bitetoobreakkskin
09-01-2009, 04:55 PM
well...i really want to wear lingerie and feel comfortable..

also, im sick of being the fat one in the family-i dont want my in laws to have one up on me either!!

AND lastly-i want to be healthy so i can get off my PCOS meds! (metformin *not for diabetes* and birth control (although i might keep that one))

thistime140
09-01-2009, 05:02 PM
I have a hot younger boyfriend...who's friends all have younger, thinner girlfriends or wives!! I feel so old fat and frumpy!!. i want to be equally as hot when we go out!! I am embarrassed for him when we are in public!!
I want his guy friends to tell him his cougar is fine!!!!!
and I'm the youngest of my family...so I want to be the "little" sister!!!
also, to make my ex husbands wife jealous!! she isnt thin either...so I want to be!!