100 lb. Club - So, The Haterade Begins...




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peachinabrownbag
08-03-2009, 02:59 PM
My boss (who is about the same size as I was when I started losing) just stopped me and said, "How much weight have you lost this week?"

I told her: 4 pounds.

She said, "So, how much is that?"

I said: 25 pounds, total.

She said, "That's a lot to lose in 5 weeks, a lot. The problem is going to be maintaining, you know. You get that weight off fast and then you can't maintain it."

:mad: Grrrr!!!!

What do you say to something like that? I know it's hard to maintain a weight loss, but does that mean I should just stay fat? I've lost 25 pounds (once) before doing WW and it took me 6 months to lose it and I gained it back within 2-3 months! It's not about how much weight you lose, how fast you lose it or anything like that. It's about what you eat, how much of it you eat and how much you move. End of story! Who is she, having never lost a pound in her life, to question me and discourage me?

I guess I just needed to vent!


beerab
08-03-2009, 03:06 PM
Lol if she were my friend I'd have said "how's that haterade tasting today?"

I'd have said "no actually it's not a lot considering my starting weight, and I'm not worried about mainting because I'm not on a diet, I'm on a lifestyle change."

Seriously people just blurt without thinking!

matt_H
08-03-2009, 03:06 PM
Ugh. I hate that!

I recently had a friend (who is my WW buddy and she got me started there) say recently that "its easy to lose weight, anybody can do that. The real hard thing is maintaining weight".

This is a person that is at goal weight and is a runner. She didn't say this directly to me, but it still was hurtful.

Its like she minimized the achievement of other people's weight loss so that she can say how she has it so much worse being at maintenance.


scarletmeshell
08-03-2009, 03:08 PM
I'm sorry that happened. Some people can be so rude. She was jelous. I would simply advoid her as much as you can, and keep it just business. You hand in there, you are doing a fantastic job!:smug:D

diyana
08-03-2009, 03:17 PM
You're doing great! And I agree with beerab...when someone says that to me, "oh be careful, you don't want to lose too much too fast", I just say that I'm watching my calorie intake with my activity levels, so I'm not losing too fast, and I'm not feeling deprived. I feel great, actually. And I know I can't expect rapid weight loss every week, but this is a great jumpstart and I'm thrilled about it.

SweetMama
08-03-2009, 03:26 PM
Yeah, ole girl is jealous. Just keep it business like with her and next time she asks about your weight loss, tell her you'd like to keep that side of your life personal and don't feel it's professional to discuss it at work.

paris81
08-03-2009, 03:37 PM
I agree with SweetMama...she's jealous, or self-concious or whatever that she's not doing what you're doing. She probably feels bad that she can't commit to losing weight, whereas you've made amazing progress!

Glad you vented, because then when others experiance the same thing, we won't feel alone!

Regardless of what she says, good job!

JulieJ08
08-03-2009, 03:38 PM
Sometimes people are being passive-aggressive, and sometimes they're just talking because they like to talk and don't think first, and sometimes they're just projecting their own fears onto you. What you need is an answer to deflects them (doesn't drag you down into explaining yourself) and keeps it from getting to you (so you're not still thinking about hours later, when he's forgotten about it).

Kira has good advice: answer everything with "You're probably right," or "I know! It's crazy!" You agree with them, and then keep doing whatever you want to do. It's hard at first because you feel wronged and like you have a right to defend yourself. But most of the time, it's a battle you can't win. You can't logic people out of their illogical issues. But you find that if you try it a few times and let it go, you realize it doesn't have to get under your skin. Because how unfair is that?

david
08-03-2009, 03:40 PM
dont say anything...just lose the weight and keep it off...she pretty much hopes you fail....YOU WIN!!!

JayEll
08-03-2009, 03:44 PM
Since she's your boss, I'd just say, "Thanks for the tip," and go on with my work.

You don't need to discuss your weight loss with your boss, BTW, but since you have been, you kinda have to be prepared for the questions.

Just stay on your path and let it all slide off... brush it off those shoulders...

Jay

dragonwoman64
08-03-2009, 04:03 PM
you already got good advice, so I'll just add my geez louise that you had to experience that kind of denseness or whatever it was. Bask in the well earned success of your 25 lb loss! yeah!

ANewCreation
08-03-2009, 04:13 PM
Oh! I'm so sorry that you had this encounter.

I've got to tell you that dealing with people and the senseless remarks they make when they notice my wt loss is the very worst thing in the world for me to deal with. Somedays they come at you from every side. You get to see other peoples emotional baggage--no thanks -full up with crazy today, don't need yours too! You get to hear what people really thought of you all along or why they don't understand how people get fat in the first place. Backhanded compliments like "Oh, you don't look as fat in that outfit!" Uhhhh, thanks???

Sorry for the tirade. Now you've had to deal with MY emotional baggage--sorry!

It's hard. I have no good advice just tons of sympathy. Thank God for this sight and those that understand and have our back!

Slashnl
08-03-2009, 04:18 PM
Boy, that is frustrating. I'm sorry to hear that. It happens, though.

My boss has been awesome. HE told me that if I ever need encouragement or feel like giving up, I needed to come to him. He would straighten me out. Ok, I will keep going!

better health3
08-03-2009, 04:35 PM
What an ignoramous, seriously. Why can't people learn if they don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all....errrrggg.

Use it as motivation to propell you forward. If she brings it up up again, I would say, "I prefer not to discuss this."--then walk away.

Misora
08-03-2009, 04:38 PM
Going to play the devil's advocate here but might your boss be worried about your health? 4lbs is a lot for a week but not unheard of. One of my coworkers did awful things to his body in order to lose 10 lbs in a week once and could very easily have seriously hurt himself. He gained most of it back the following week but at that point he was happy. Congrats on the loss though!

thisisnotatest
08-03-2009, 05:45 PM
Its good to start learning about how to deal with this comments.
I am one of the ones that hates hates hates this aspect of weightloss.
I have found through the years its best not to discuss numbers-tell people you're not sure-you don't weigh -whatever.
While I don't believe 'everyone' is intentionally mean, I do believe that people like to keep order around them and don't like change. They will therefore do their best to keep the status quo.
Her comments were probably made with the intent to discourage you from weightloss (whether she is aware/unaware of it).
I have found that for me, in the past, my weightloss would stall or rebound when dealing with this commentary.

Back to my original statement. Accept the comments as a reality, do your best to cope with them, and expect them to come fast and furious as you get closer to your goal.

peachinabrownbag
08-03-2009, 05:56 PM
Thanks for all the comments, guys!

I thought about this and several times as I've been losing weight over the last few weeks, I'll do something like go for a walk for half of my lunch and she'll say something like "Don't you get sweaty when you walk at lunch?" or have tons of fruits and veggies or steamed fish for lunch and she'll wrinkle up her nose and say "I can't eat that kind of stuff. You can't just diet; it has to be a lifestyle change."

There's not very much positivity from that quarter. Unfortunately, this is a fairly intimate environment and anything less than sharing and chatting openly is considered being standoffish here, so I'm sure I'll have to learn to deal with the comments over the course of my journey. I'll have to take it with a grain of salt and maybe use it for motivation.

kiahna23
08-03-2009, 06:16 PM
This is why I love this site..We are all going through the same things....I weigh 146 and people are always like "why do you want to lose more weight?" your going to look crazy! My weight doesnt go straight for my hips and ***! I dont get the coke bottle shape until I am about 120lbs! I dont get why people want to bring you down because they're jealous or they want you to be less attractive than they are...When you get to your goal weight show the heck off! You deserve it!

Elladorine
08-03-2009, 06:41 PM
Somehow people expect everyone they know to stay the same, so when you're losing weight (or make any other kind of positive change) it can be seen as a threat to who they are and what role they play in whatever type of setting you're in.

I was losing weight at a great pace once, and a fellow co-worker kept harping on me over how I was supposedly doing it all wrong. Silly me, I didn't know how to react back then, but I let her comments get to me at the time.

BerkshireGrl
08-03-2009, 10:50 PM
...25 pounds, total.
She said, "That's a lot to lose in 5 weeks, a lot.

I have read that after the first 2 weeks of dieting, where extra water is also lost and bumps up the numbers, a 2% of your weight is a safe rate of loss. So you are fine :)

And as long as a person is dieting in a healthy way, heck, enjoy the big losses! I used to sometimes have 4-5 pound losses when I was under 175 pounds, who knows just why. Less salt that week, extra rowing as exercise, but nothing crazy. I took it as a blessing from the diet fairy.

I don't think the speed of loss matters a bit in relation to possible regains; it's sticking to a plan after the official Diet is over.

You're doing AWESOME :D Ignore her or laugh inside :devil:

better health3
08-03-2009, 11:51 PM
I have found through the years its best not to discuss numbers-tell people you're not sure-you don't weigh -whatever.

I agree with this. It is really no one's business. In a binge I can gain 3-5 lbs. from sodium easily and have it come off the very next day if I do the right thing.

david
08-06-2009, 03:31 PM
misora, thats what i dont like about these weight loss shows...people kill themselves to lose as much weight as possible in a short time...id like to see a "five years later show", a lot can happen when the cameras stop running...to me these people are losing in an unreasonable, unhealthy way...ill take my pound a week

acmsas
08-06-2009, 03:42 PM
That really stinks! You are doing this for yourself though. As long as you know that you are doing great, that is all that matters!

Trazey34
08-06-2009, 04:43 PM
people are ... well you know what people are like. I kind of wonder where all this concern for my "losing so much weight" was when I was packing ON OVER 100 LBS???? hellllloooo??? hahahah But since she's your boss, I guess the old "yup, I've gotta stick with my changes in lifestyle, to be sure" is all you can say. Of course the "I see you're opting for the safe 'stay fat' route?" hahahahah ok in my head that's funny

Vivian27
08-06-2009, 11:06 PM
Your boss is just being an a$$hole!!! Forget about the comment your weight loss speaks for itself!! When people say stupid things to me this is what I hear. I will use your situation...

Boss: How much weight have you loss?
You: 25lbs!!
Boss: Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah!!
You: Yes isn't it great!

Weight loss SPEAKS FOR ITSELF!!!

Awesome job BTW!!! Keep it up!

david
08-07-2009, 07:18 AM
trazey, thats funny in my head too!!

paris81
08-07-2009, 11:02 AM
Yeah, it really stinks that it's your boss because then you can't say something snarky.

Lori Bell
08-07-2009, 11:23 AM
people are ... well you know what people are like. I kind of wonder where all this concern for my "losing so much weight" was when I was packing ON OVER 100 LBS???? hellllloooo??? hahahah But since she's your boss, I guess the old "yup, I've gotta stick with my changes in lifestyle, to be sure" is all you can say. Of course the "I see you're opting for the safe 'stay fat' route?" hahahahah ok in my head that's funny

hehe :) Cute! I so totally agree as well. When I was on my way up the scale, not one single person would question me to how much I gained that week and tell me it was too much...so why are the numbers so important when they are coming down? I have had to remind a person of that recently who JUST. WON'T. STOP.

But in all fairness to your boss. Maybe that's her way of showing her support/concern. Who knows. I too started out in the super-morbidly-obese category, and it took a good 50 pounds before ANYONE noticed. So for your boss to notice already is really saying she's in tune with her staff. Most people just can't see weight loss like others can.

This is going to sound harsh, but I mean it with all sincerity, if I were you, I would really try to stay away from the "every body's jealous/haters" thought process. Not everyone is jealous, and most people really do like to see the morbidly obese lose weight. There will be a few people who will drive you nuts along the way, but all in all MOST people will admire you and be inspired by you as you continue on your journey. Turn this into a positive for all people who struggle with weight and don't worry about what people think, worry about planning your next healthy meal.