Weight Loss Support - Do I just not want it bad enough?




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Shouka
07-30-2009, 11:35 PM
I get all excited when I start something new. I mean I really throw myself into it. I bead, I sew and I really get into these things.

Now when I decide to lose weight I throw myself into it. I workout everyday, eat healthy, veggies, lean meats, cut back on sugar, try to cut out soda, most likely the same things that everyone else does. But the down side to all of this is that this last for about 2 weeks or less and I completely screw up. For the life of me I cannot keep a food journal for more than a week. And I have a really cool one that I thought would want to make me do.

So my question is, Do I just not want this bad enough? Have I not had a life changing moment that wakes me up to the fact that I need to do this? I know that in the back of my mind I have this little voice that tells me that I don't really look bad at this weight (I carry it well and no one believes that I weigh as much as I do). This little voice also tells me that I look good compared to the people around me. Isn't this awful, I know that I'm sabbotoging myself and I canot figure out how to make it stop.

I am I the only one who feels like this???

Sorry for making this so long.


Glory87
07-30-2009, 11:52 PM
Try to figure out what happens at week 2 that makes it impossible for you to stay on plan. Then, change your plan. My journey changed, my plan changed, I kept changing the plan to suit me.

I was 35 years old when I started this last time, I figured it was much easier to change the plan than it was to change me. I am exactly the same person I was before I lost weight - I just manage myself better.

Glory87
07-30-2009, 11:56 PM
I also wanted to add, wanting is not enough.

For 20 years, I desperately wanted to lose weight. Dreamed, fantasized, wanted desperately to be thin. So many of us are navel-gazers. We spend a lot of times in our heads, dreaming instead of acting. If you can't put your wanting into action (for more than 2 weeks) it just won't matter how much you want it.

Wanting by itself doesn't do anything. Someone has a great sig line on this board. It's something like "nothing happens until something moves."

My other advice would be to start bribing yourself shamelessly. What do you like, what do you want? After two weeks, make a goal if you can stick it out for another two weeks, you get a fabulous massage. After two more weeks, pick something else you want. Just move along in little steps and you will be on your way to longterm permanent weight loss.

The longer you do it, the more it will become habit and easier to stick to. I couldn't imagine (I really can't) going back to the old junk eating, heavy, depressed me.

PS I don't want to be hugely negative, but get a friend to take a surprise, unposed side/back view photo. A photo like that was a real wake up call. Sure, I carried my weight well when I was standing in front of a mirror with my chin up and my stomach sucked in. A truly candid shot revealed my double chin, rolls and saddlebags. Painful but something I needed to see! And I only said that because you said you wanted to stop! Not to be mean!


Madison
07-31-2009, 12:13 AM
I dont think you need to be motivated or want something "badly enough" . . . you need to educate yourself, make sure you have the support and skills to do this, set your life up so that you can be as successful as possible and then just do it. Just follow your plan.

Not everyone finds it easy to stay on course every day . . . or forever as in my case, but what is the alternative?

Staying numb and not living my life is not something that is an option for me. I want more for myself and I remind myself daily and just do it. Some days its one moment at a time and other days just fly by and I think "Why did it take me so long to get back on track?"

Just take baby steps and just start - there is a power in just starting. You get a few days that turn into a few good weeks and you feel so good and so empowered that you just keep going.

Its not a race, you dont have to do it all in 2 minutes . . . life changes take practice and consistency.

You can do it. You really can.

:)

Madison
07-31-2009, 12:37 AM
Oh I meant to add - are you going off plan after two weeks because that is around the time that you find that you can no longer sustain your exercise and eating program?

I ask that bcos I too have been known to throw myself into projects and everything works "perfecly" (whatever my version of perfect is at that time) until something happens to throw a spanner into my "perfect" plans which then would just make me give up bcos it all seems too hard.

Your journey will in most likelihood have SOME blips. That is ok - as long as you are continually moving in the right direction (and only you can know what that is for you) - ie. either a lower weight, being able to run a 5k, being happier . . .

caliyah
07-31-2009, 02:07 AM
you know what helped me was to read and learn more about how I could make this into a lifestyle change and not just a diet...I've been reading a lot of books like The Gabriel Method and there are books like The End to Overeating and other books. I mean basically you have to get to the root of why you don't stay on plan. I used to always quit and reward myself after I lost 10 pounds, my weight is really evenly distributed so people always tell me I don't need to lose weight or can't tell my weight. Anyway now I realized this is a lifestyle change so I'm trying to take it one day at a time and am not looking at it as a diet. I don't restrict myself - I eat when I'm hungry, I just make healthier choices.

By the way glory87 you are so INSPIRING! I saw your links! WOW! Thanks so much for sharing your success - I'm always motivated by success stories.

Stella
07-31-2009, 02:42 AM
Yes, here, me! Everything is intense, but brief. So were most diets.
But that was diets which were not sustainable. Diets which involved too much effort, time, money, attention, craving, etc. What kinds of diet was it with you that you abandoned? Sounds to me like it was not the right programme.

Maybe, there will be one which you can just incorporate into your daily regime, makeit a habit and then forget about?

losermom
07-31-2009, 07:10 AM
Shouka, this journey does not have to be an all out "All or Nothing" journey. Nobody is perfect. Maybe you can try to do one thing consistently, whether it's eating well, exercising, drinking enough water, logging in your food journal, getting enough sleep, you get the idea. Get that one thing, whatever you choose, down pat and slowly add in another. It took me a long time to get the ball rolling on my journey and that's ok. Because I had to make one thing a habit before I could add another--maybe I'm kind of slow, but it's definitely working.

Also, maybe you need to dream more! Dream of the you that you want to be. Write down what you really want, your goals. Is it fitness, health, awesome abs? Whatever it is--dream it! Someone has this (or something like it) in their signature: Thoughts become reality--make them good ones.

kaplods
07-31-2009, 07:14 AM
I don't know that you can assume that a lack of success is a result of a lack of desire, or even a lack of commitment. You may not be "ready," you may be happy with yourself (and that's legitimate if it's true, it isn't "horrible," unless you decide so), you may be trying to work against your personality rather than with it.

That you say that you do this with other areas of your life, like crafting, it could be just that you have a low tolerance for monotony and a strong need for novelty.

I can definitely relate. My husband and I say that my hobby is collecting hobbies, and it's so true. I get bored easily and have a low tolerance for boredom. I find it difficult to stick to strict regimens, and become easily distracted and disinterested in things I was fascinated with only moments before.

For me, I had to find ways to keep things new and interesting, and only make changes I could see myself incorporating for life (in one form or another). I had to remind myself what I wanted to accomplish, and how I could get there (and if I was bored, what I could do differently to get there).

One thing I did that helped alot was rewards for exercise and weight loss. I have a sticker chart for each pound, and each workout. In the beginning, I would plan little rewards for every five stickers. I'd write down the next reward I wanted, and once I wrote it down, didn't let myself have "it" until I'd earned it. I didn't punish myself for not achieving (if it was a book, for example, I didn't stop reading, I just couldn't buy or borrow THAT book until I'd earned it).

I've struggled recently to lose more, and I think the boredom factor is partially responsible. I'm not letting it inspire me to regain, but I just haven't gone the extra mile to lose any more, and I think part of it is that I'm losing interest with my plan. I'm going to take my own advice here, and find ways to "shake up," my plan, as I realize that I have also been fighting my personality instead of working with it.

rockinrobin
07-31-2009, 07:26 AM
I get all excited when I start something new. I mean I really throw myself into it. I bead, I sew and I really get into these things.

Now when I decide to lose weight I throw myself into it. I workout everyday, eat healthy, veggies, lean meats, cut back on sugar, try to cut out soda, most likely the same things that everyone else does. But the down side to all of this is that this last for about 2 weeks or less and I completely screw up. For the life of me I cannot keep a food journal for more than a week. And I have a really cool one that I thought would want to make me do.

So my question is, Do I just not want this bad enough? Have I not had a life changing moment that wakes me up to the fact that I need to do this? I know that in the back of my mind I have this little voice that tells me that I don't really look bad at this weight (I carry it well and no one believes that I weigh as much as I do). This little voice also tells me that I look good compared to the people around me. Isn't this awful, I know that I'm sabbotoging myself and I canot figure out how to make it stop.


I really, really think you have to have a burning desire to make this happen. I know for me, I couldn't or I should say, I wouldn't sustain any lifestyle change until my desire to be thin and healthy outweighed, overtook and overpowered the desire for "those foods". Once that occurred, then I made darn certain that I STUCK to something. I was done being fat. I had had enough and wanted no more of it. I wanted THAT badly to be healthy and trim.

That's another thing, when I finally made the decision to get rid of the fat, I stopped looking at it as some diet that I was on. I decided once and for all to get my act together and just be a health minded individual. I decided to stop settling for good enough and second best, when first best was within my power. I decided this had to be a permanent change. Once I made that decision there was no STOPPING. Not at week number 2, week number 22 or week number 222. I no longer relied on motivation or whether I felt like it or not, I made an ironclad commitment. Once you commit to something - that's it - there's no turning back.

So since I did have that burning desire, that's when I did everything to MAKE this work. I was WILLING to make it work and I DID make it work. That helped me to seek out and develop a plan that was right for me, one that I was WILLING to stick with, and like Glory said, change it up to suit me as need be. I tweaked it and perfected it to suit my needs. But again, I was WILLING to do this. I was WILLING to get rid of the junk and ADD in the healthy stuff. I was WILLING to exercise.

The truth is the best plan in the world, what ever that is, for each of us as individuals, won't work unless we are WILLING to make it work? So, what are you WILLING to do to make this work? What are you WILLING to give up in order to get ahead? What are kind of effort are you WILLING to put forth? Losing weight won't happen on it's own. It DOES require, effort, work, discipline, determination and WILLINGness.

But man oh man is it worth it. The rewards are out of this world PHENOMENAL. You think you look okay now. You think you feel okay now. But just wait till you start reaping those benefits. Your energy and productivity levels will soar. As will your self esteem and self confidence. I know for sure that you won't ever regret losing the weight, not so sure if you won't regret NOT losing the weight.

But the good thing is, without a doubt it DOES get easier as you go on. These new and healthy habits have become my new normal and are automatic to me. Once established, good habits are just as hard to break as bad ones.

Decide what it is you want the most, the very, very MOST. Then make go out there and get it. Don't dread this. Get excited about it. Get moving. Make a plan, make a commitment to "do this" no matter what and do what is necessary to make it happen.

Heather
07-31-2009, 08:16 AM
Wow, lots of ideas and thoughts here!

I think there are lots of reasons we "fail" at diets. It might be a lack of wanting, but as others have noted, you also need to have a sustainable plan. One that works for you long term.

If you get bored easily, that plan will have to include novelty. If you hate veggies and your plan requires them, then you need to either figure out how to prep them so you do like them (and lots of people have) or you have to find a plan that allows other food. If you work well to rewards, you need to find lots of rewards. In other words, you have to match YOU to your PLAN. One of the difficulties is figuring that out.

srmb60
07-31-2009, 09:15 AM
I can identify with you in several ways.

I don’t look too bad. Especially for my age ;) In groups of people, I’m often on the smaller side. I can find clothing that fits.

I have so many crafts on the go or half finished. My staircase would be lovely if someone finished painting it. J

In light of all of that, it’s very easy for weight to NOT be my focus. I can get to be a bit slimmer any time, right?

Right now, my coffee is a bit bitter. I could put some French vanilla creamer in it. That would help. I’d like it right now. I can always skimp on my salad dressing or skip a snack later. Maybe I’ll just do a few extra minutes on the elliptical later.

And in the next three weeks, we have two important functions to attend. They will (of course) revolve around food.

Later this evening, Dh wants to go pick up some things he needs for a weekend project. I might get to the elliptical before we go. I might do it after we get home.

This weekend I work two 12 hr shifts. I usually work eights. I’ll probably use enough energy to have one doughnut. I’ll certainly get enough exercise that I could skip the elliptical.

That baby blanket I’m knitting needs to be done by the 15th of August. If I worked on that for a few hours today …

And I should clear out some stuff to make DH’s weekend project easier and cleaner.

I’d better get some groceries today too. I’m not sure what we’re doing for supper tonight. It’d really be easier to go out on our way to Home Depot.

In the grand scheme of things, a few busy weeks in the summer are not going to make that much difference. At some point in the future I’ll have that magic combination of a lightening strike of readiness, a clear time span in which to schedule all the things I need to do, a sudden personality change to “organized and focused” ….

However … I want to be slim in the grand scheme of things. In the long run, I’d rather be slim … soon.

The term “ever mindful” has had a huge impact on me. And if that means filling my life with reminders … then so be it. The elliptical is in front of the TV. There is weight equipment on my back porch. There are dumbbells at my bedside. I come to 3FC every morning. I subscribe to two fitness magazines. I keep fruit and vegetables on the kitchen counter in a basket. The food scale is in the center of my kitchen workspace. My bathroom scale is sooo obvious sitting where it does.

For me, it’s a matter of being ever mindful and being ‘good’ more often than I am not on plan. If I cannot remain focused, my environment certainly can. If I do at least a few things right each day, I’m never off plan, just backslidden. I’ll never forget everything I know to be true about weight loss. Sometimes I just have to dredge it closer to the surface … into focus.

I’m pretty longwinded this morning but I have one more point. Because I am so “scatter attentioned” variety is very important. We’re lucky in that fitness can be approached from so many angles. There’s a huge variety of foods out there. There’s a huge variety of exercises and activities. There’s a huge variety of motivational cues too.

We don’t have to do Jetta’s Joga tapes every day for the rest of our lives. We can walk or jog or mountain climb or dance …

We can watch sports figures (slim, fit sports figures) on TV. We can read the goal threads or maintainers on 3FC. We can flip through fitness mags.

We can eat an egg white omelet or chicken breast or broccoli or salad or a veggies burger or an apple or grapes or pork tenderloin …

In combination, the possibilities are endless. So if our attention wanes in a couple of weeks, it’s not difficult to “change it up”.

Relax and practice being “in it” more than you are “out of it”.

rockinrobin
07-31-2009, 09:22 AM
Susan, you made lots of good points. I really, really got the gist of what you were trying to say.

I just wanted to add, I think in order for consistent, steady, continual, long term weight loss to occur, you must make it a priority. A tippy, tippy top priority. It has to be THAT important to you. Can't leave it on the back burner. Must remain on the front one.

Samantha100
07-31-2009, 09:27 AM
As a teacher I can tell you that sometimes a student will not put forth any effort because they are afraid that if they work hard and do their homework and they still do badly, that their best wasn't good enough. If they don't do anything and they fail, they can say, "I could have passed if I had wanted to". Perhaps you have fear of success.

dragonwoman64
07-31-2009, 09:31 AM
I also wanted to add, wanting is not enough.

For 20 years, I desperately wanted to lose weight. Dreamed, fantasized, wanted desperately to be thin. So many of us are navel-gazers. We spend a lot of times in our heads, dreaming instead of acting. If you can't put your wanting into action (for more than 2 weeks) it just won't matter how much you want it.

Wanting by itself doesn't do anything. Someone has a great sig line on this board. It's something like "nothing happens until something moves."


shouka, yes, I've felt that same way at a much higher weight than you.

lots of great comments/advice here. I quoted Glory because I felt like I had to do something, anything, to shake up my routine and denial, to get going on the weight loss roll again -- which I desperately wanted, dreamed and fantasized about (at the same time that I told myself I carried the weight well and was much healthier than I had been).

my choices were to hire a trainer for a bunch of sessions to change up my exercise routine, and come to 3FC again. that's helped me with the extra eating, and I'm starting to lose the weight again.

for me, it was a tough thing mentally to get real, and to address the habits that weren't helping me.

part of me had a fear of losing the weight too. I'd have to face challenges/choices in my life that felt scary. good luck with everything!

kiramira
07-31-2009, 09:47 AM
Um, it sounds like the honeymoon is over! You know, you start with "WOW I'm going to DO this" and you make plans and it is all exciting and this time it's going to WORK and you think all DAY about the WEIGHT and how it will come OFF and you sit and count the number of weeks and calculate that if you lose 2 lbs per week you'll be at GOAL in NO TIME AT ALL, and you are really, really strict.

And two weeks later, you'e TIRED. You've been on this FOREVER and the weight is still THERE and it takes so much EFFORT and you haven't eaten anything that you really like for 2 WEEKS and FORGET it MAN, I'll journal tomorrow and just go for nachos and beer tonight...and then you wonder, WHAT HAPPENED???? And after a while, you decide to do this AGAIN and figure that the last diet didn't work, so you'll try ANOTHER. And the cycle repeats...

There is a totally simple answer. You have approached this with the diet mentality. That's all. SO not the end of the world. It doesn't mean that you don't want it or you aren't "good enought". It is just, IMHO, IMPOSSIBLE to sustain the emotional energy that "diets" require. The cycle is completely predictable -- you think about it, you get excited, you diet, you get emotionally exhausted, you go off the diet, you beat yourself up, you get hopeful again, you think about it, you get excited, you diet...

IF you want to lose the weight, maybe think about this as a new LIFE. You will START a new life, but there is NO END. And that SUCKS but it IS the reality of those who have been successful, from what I can see. So you gotta find a plan that works for YOU. Perhaps journalling isn't your bag, baby! Maybe a simple set of rules, like South Beach, would work. Maybe calorie counting is TOTALLY your thing. Maybe you want to move to whole foods. Maybe you want the in person support that TOPS or WW offers. Maybe OA might be your thing. It doesn't really matter as long as it fills what you NEED for your new life.

The key is to find out HOW you want to live, then find the structured plan that lets you live this way, and just DO it. Forget about the scale numbers for now. Don't decide to lose x pounds in y weeks. Don't pick a plan that restricts you in ways that are going to be tough/impossible to sustain. Don't pick a plan that "everyone else does". Find something that works for your life, make the committment, and just DO IT. The pounds will take care of themselves.

You'll never regret it!!!!

Kira

Shouka
07-31-2009, 09:54 AM
I want to thank everyone for the words of wisdom. I'm anti diet. I know that this is the way I want to eat forever. I have daughters who watch my every move and want to be a positive roll model. I want them to see the right way to eat. I read, The Daily Fix, this was a great book on working a lifestyle change into a busy lifestyle (which I have). I do have a spastic attention span. I may need to change it up every couple of weeks. I try to eat healthy. I keep salad and veggies in the fridge and fruit on the counter. I limit my sweets but don't try to deprive myself. I do find that I make excuses to eat something that is not good for me. And when I find myself eatting the "wrong" food or to much of the "right" foods, I think, why am I doing this? and another voice will be tell me it doesn't matter and I keep eatting. Maybe I need a shrink. LOL. My husband tells me that I have an unhealthy obsesion with food. He maybe right or I might just be a foodie. I would like to think the latter. I do appricate everyone taking the time to lend me their kind words and support. And I apologize for my awful spelling.

Shouka

rockinrobin
07-31-2009, 10:08 AM
A great quote I've seen here many times just came to mind:

If you want it badly enough, you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse.

I'm a foodie now - more so then prior, without a doubt. I eat fabulous foods. I've become an even better cook. I just make sure that they are high in quality and nutrients and lower in calories. Be creative. Set yourself up for success. Discover/seek out/search for wonderful foods to make and eat. They're out there. Don't settle for some quick - garbage.

As far as limiting your sweets so that you're not "depriving yourself", try to think about what EATING those foods deprive you of. The best you. More clothing choices. Better doctors visits - especially down the road. More self confidence, self respect, self esteem (though of course I'm not saying that you don't have those now). More energy and stamina. The real deprivation is STAYING overweight. Not eating some worthless - sugar and fat and high calorie/ high quantity foods. Rethink what a treat is. FIND healthy things to eat and munch on. They're out there. Go and find them. Discover who you were meant to be. :)

p7eggyc
07-31-2009, 10:53 AM
I echo what Susan says almost to the letter. That is totally my experience too.

The other thing I want to say is that you are likely trying to make too many changes all at once. I think you might be really, really well served to pick some smaller things to focus on for a while. Maybe go over to Chicks Up for a Challenge and find one that fits for what you'd like to focus on next or start one. I nearly guarantee if you need to work on it, most of us need to work on it to one degree or another. It really is ok to say, well, I ate a sweet everyday last week, I'm going to limit that to 5 days this week. That is success, really it is. It's not 150lbs lost but it is success and everytime you do that, you're engaging in a healthy lifestyle. I personally think the best gift you can give children is an understanding of how to break bad habits and learn good habits. Much more important skill than knowing how to completely dump everything you are doing and trying to white knuckle through something that isn't a good fit.

Peg

midwife
07-31-2009, 11:13 AM
Wow----so much wisdom on this thread. I was nodding as I was reading Glory, Susan, Robin, etc., etc.

I would just add: You WILL screw up. You will eat something you hadn't planned for not a good reason. You will choose to sleep rather than work out. It's inevitable (unless you are the first perfect person ever to grace the hallowed boards of 3FC). What is vital, what is essential, what is the make or break choice, that is the step for sink or swim, is what you do next.

I lost 25 lbs in, what, 2004. I can remember working so hard, being on task, exercising like a fiend, eating like a saint, and then...stopping. I stopped with one decision, and never started back up. Boom---25 lbs back. I lost 25 lbs in 2006. I can remember working hard, being on task, exercising like a fiend, eating like a saint and then....I ate out....I remember the restaurant. It is a Middle Eastern restaurant and I had falafel and baklava. I was clearly incapable of being a healthy person to make those choices! :dizzy: So I stopped my healthy choices, and boom----25 lbs back on.

But, hey, I can be taught!

2007, I started working so hard, being on task :blah: You get the picture. And then, I ate off plan. I don't even remember what it was. Pie at Thanksgiving, probably. Probably, quite a bit of pie. Cheese :broc: casserole. You know, it was Thanksgiving!

But I had learned by then, that the "mess up" wasn't what made me regain all my weight. It was the hundred and thousand choices I made AFTER the "mess up" that kept me from my goals.

If you are like 99.9% of the people on this board, you WILL make a food or exercise choice that you wish you might have done differently. But perfection is NOT what makes us lose weight or maintain weight loss. It is what we do MOST of the time that counts.

caryesings
07-31-2009, 11:16 AM
But I had learned by then, that the "mess up" wasn't what made me regain all my weight. It was the hundred and thousand choices I made AFTER the "mess up" that kept me from my goals.

So well said!

wendyland
07-31-2009, 11:17 AM
As a teacher I can tell you that sometimes a student will not put forth any effort because they are afraid that if they work hard and do their homework and they still do badly, that their best wasn't good enough. If they don't do anything and they fail, they can say, "I could have passed if I had wanted to". Perhaps you have fear of success.

I can so relate to this. When I do follow a plan, I lose slowly and feel like I'm failing. I also give up after a couple weeks. Over time, I have evolved in my food and lifestyle choices and no longer gain weight. That's heading in the right track. I was doing great for a couple weeks and had my daughter's birthday party this week. I ate a few sweets and had major cravings all week. I'm back on track, but I'm sad that I lost the progress that I made.

I also agree with the others to make it a priority. I do a lot of things that Susan talked about. I come to 3fc. My scale is right next to my bed. I'm a believer in weighing in every day. It's something that motivates me. I read lots of books and cookbooks about healthy eating. I'm replacing bad foods with good ones. I'm finding out that sugar makes me feel ill, so I am choosing it much less often. I go to the grocery store often so I don't feel like I have to run out to fast food or make bad choices.

becca77
07-31-2009, 11:23 AM
I have found that, for me at least, when I'm faltering in my willpower, accountability is the key to keeping on track. For example, in all my years of struggling with weightloss, and my ups and downs, the times I have done the best have been when I was going to Weight Watchers. Not necessarily the diet, but having to step on the scale in front of someone else scared the bejesus out of me and helped me to put the fork down or walk away from the cookies.

Maybe you could try to hold yourself accountable to someone else. Doesn't have to be a WW meeting, but perhaps you could join up with a friend that you know and trust, and the rule is you have to be honest with eachother and jointly track your progress. :hug:

thinpossible
07-31-2009, 11:24 AM
Maybe you don't want it bad enough. Maybe it's just not that important to you. According to your BMI you are overweight, but if you lost 20 lbs you'd be within the range of normal. Why do you want to lose weight? Do you have health problems? Is your weight holding you back from doing the things you'd like? Is it cosmetic? Why did you decide to lose weight in the first place? What is it that you really want? I think that's what you need to decide.

As for jumping in with both feet, that's how I tried to lose weight many times. I know a lot of people have great success with that approach, but I couldn't do it. I literally COULD NOT keep all those plates (diet, exercise, water, tracking calories, counting carbs, journaling food, etc., etc.) spinning. I finally found success when I started focusing on ONE are at a time. That means I had to give up a lot of expectations about how my weight loss journey would look, but you know what? It's working, and I AM getting there.

jendiet
07-31-2009, 11:29 AM
Ok, first at 5'9 YOU DO LOOK BETTER ...you are taller...so you are going to make 191 lbs look alot better than say me a 5'4 person. You probably have about 20-30 lbs to lose to get to your goal weight. You probably would look fantastic at 170 or 160.

I am a FIRM believer in the proof of desire is in the pursuit. I am one of those people who rebels at the thought of dieting. As a matter of fact in the past, when I told myself "NO MORE COOKIES, CAKE, ICECREAM, PIZZA" for you. I would go on binges the DAY I wanted to start my diet. What would I eat? Cookies, cake, icecream, and pizza ALL DAY. lol.

So finally, I was like you are a sugar addict, stop NOW. I went vegan, all healthy foods, no processed, non organic things, and I lost lots of weight, but then came the REALITY CHECK. I went beserk 2 years later when I remembered how freaking good Nutty Buddy bars were and how much LESS EXPENSIVE than soy icecream they were.

So now, I'm not dieting. I refuse. I count my calories, I eat mostly health food, I have icecream almost every night after dinner, maybe a cookie for a snack. I have changed my hours of eating. Small price to pay to be able to have my cake and eat it too.

I have stuck with THIS longer than all of my other attempts, so it is working for me quite well. You have to find what works for you. What motivates you. I agree with non-food rewards. Unless you lavish on yourself as it is. Something maybe you pass in the store, and you are like...I can't afford this...it would be selfish to get that.

Then tell yourself. "If you lose 20 lbs, I will buy that for you!"

Nuxmaga
07-31-2009, 02:14 PM
Judith Beck's Complete Diet for Life has really helped me with the sabotaging thoughts. She uses cognitive behavioral techniques to work on the thinking aspect of losing weight.

Come over to the Beck group on 3FC, a really nice supportive group of people--http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-diet-plans-questions/175632-beck-diet-life-solution-july-2009-support-discussion-buddy-coach.html

ajowens
07-31-2009, 04:09 PM
There is so much good advice here. I can be the same way but someone here told me that next year this time when I am at my goal and sitting in the summer sun I will wonder why I didn't do it sooner. Don't think about how much you are giving up... think of what you are gaining!

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/tulip-bar/cartoondino01/lb/174/135/166/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)