Weight Loss Support - End of my rope




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proudmommy09
07-29-2009, 03:58 PM
Ok well let me start off by saying Ive tried just about every diet out there. Ive been dieting for 11years with the expection of being pregnant twice. I had some successes but then fall back into my old eating habits and gain it back plus 20 pounds more. Now here I am the biggest I've ever been and feeling so beat down, defeated and BAD about myself. I keep telling myself everyday that today's gonna be the day, and then I'll eat something like cookies or icecream and say I blew it and then the cycle continues........ I dont know why I just cant seem to get my head where it needs to be in order to do this. My marriage is starting to suffer because Im just not happy with myself and my unhappiness is coming off as being rude and mean to man I love... I just really need some advice here because I dont want to be like this anymore. I want to be in control. Im 27 and too young to be this old. Thanks for letting me vent.


kiramira
07-29-2009, 04:07 PM
OK, we are pretty much the same with respect to start stats and height. So I understand where you are and how you feel.

ALL I can tell you is three simple guidelines that will get you on your way:

1. Accept the fact that this isn't a DIET, but a new WAY OF LIFE. And that it will take time, but there is no timelimit out there!

2. Research all the plans you like, but FIND one that fits with your lifestyle. And I mean it! IF you love your steak, a vegan lifestyle may not be the best choice. IF you enjoy the occasional treat, you gotta get a plan that lets you work this in. WW, Calorie Counting, whatever. But you gotta find a STRUCTURED plan that will fit with your life.

3. DECIDE that no matter WHAT, you are going to stick to your chosen plan for the next 3 months. Only 12 weeks. As 100% as you possibly can be. Re-evaluate then. I'll bet you'll be so happy you'll wonder what took you so long to take this step and you'll continue on. And the reason I say 3 months is that, well, you can do ANYTHING for just 3 months, no? Sometimes it is easier to make a short-term committment to start with.

And for heaven's sake, stop beating yourself up. Stop the self-loathing! It isn't productive. Put this in perspective -- you haven't KILLED anyone. You haven't been driving while impaired. You haven't been convicted of tax evasion. Your weight is a little high, that's all. SERIOUSLY. It is just a freaking number that shows where you are right now. It isn't permanent. You can change it. You DO have the power to do it! You just gotta decide to get on with it.

So forgive yourself, make a committment to yourself to find a structured plan and stick with it.

This is how pretty much EVERYONE started. It isn't easy, and it won't be quick. But it WILL be worth it...

:hug:

Kira

david
07-29-2009, 04:11 PM
i dont have all the answers, but this website has really helped me....find a challenge that looks like it might fit your personality, right now i like the ones that end on a specific date.....im doing a labor day challenge...to me its important to interact with people who know EXACTLY what youre going through...ive found that when i dont do so well and i tell the others about it the good encouragement keeps me from beating myself up and keeps me from giving in....i know you can do it...remember, theres no hurry...i know there are some 20something threads...also, take a look at some of the before and after pictures that people have submitted...again, i know you can do !!!also, youre about my daughters age so im really rooting for you!!!


Onederchic
07-29-2009, 04:15 PM
OK, we are pretty much the same with respect to start stats and height. So I understand where you are and how you feel.

ALL I can tell you is three simple guidelines that will get you on your way:

1. Accept the fact that this isn't a DIET, but a new WAY OF LIFE. And that it will take time, but there is no timelimit out there!

2. Research all the plans you like, but FIND one that fits with your lifestyle. And I mean it! IF you love your steak, a vegan lifestyle may not be the best choice. IF you enjoy the occasional treat, you gotta get a plan that lets you work this in. WW, Calorie Counting, whatever. But you gotta find a STRUCTURED plan that will fit with your life.

3. DECIDE that no matter WHAT, you are going to stick to your chosen plan for the next 3 months. Only 12 weeks. As 100% as you possibly can be. Re-evaluate then. I'll bet you'll be so happy you'll wonder what took you so long to take this step and you'll continue on. And the reason I say 3 months is that, well, you can do ANYTHING for just 3 months, no? Sometimes it is easier to make a short-term committment to start with.

And for heaven's sake, stop beating yourself up. Stop the self-loathing! It isn't productive. Put this in perspective -- you haven't KILLED anyone. You haven't been driving while impaired. You haven't been convicted of tax evasion. Your weight is a little high, that's all. SERIOUSLY. It is just a freaking number that shows where you are right now. It isn't permanent. You can change it. You DO have the power to do it! You just gotta decide to get on with it.

So forgive yourself, make a committment to yourself to find a structured plan and stick with it.

This is how pretty much EVERYONE started. It isn't easy, and it won't be quick. But it WILL be worth it...

:hug:

Kira

Exactly! Very well put, Kira :D

jendiet
07-29-2009, 04:18 PM
Hugs to you. This sounds like the all or nothing personality I used to don when dieting.

Now, I understand. I AM going to eat icecream. I am going to eat cake. I have to figure out a way to do so and still lose weight. I say calorie counting is your best bet. AS you go through learning how much food you should eat in a day as well as how much food you ARE eating in a day...you will understand yourself more and more.

You have to start somewhere babe. Calorie counting is easy. You just have to know what a serving is. And you have to keep a log. That's it. Dieting is 80% food.

You can start right now! All you have to do is get a sheet of paper and write down how much food you have eaten today and what you have eaten. Look up the calories. I recommend a few days of you figuring out how much you NATURALLY eat.

Then you can use this website or ANY OTHER: to figure out how much you should eat to lose weight.

http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

We are here to support you through this. And you CAN do it!

proudmommy09
07-29-2009, 04:22 PM
Wow thank you guys for the encouraging words of wisdom. Im almost to tears over here. Thanks again, all is very true and I really needed to hear this.

Samantha100
07-29-2009, 04:48 PM
I am older than you and I send you information from your future (if you don't lose the weight). One day you'll start to huff and puff to walk up the stairs. Another day, your blood sugar level will rise and your blood pressure will need to be controlled with medication. Still another day, you may suffer a stroke at an early age. If you want to live a long, happy, healthy, productive life with fewer problems of diabetes, high blood pressure, and kidney failure, then you must get your weight under control. Being overweight negatively affects your overall health in every possible way. I looked at the picture with your two lovely children. Don't you want to be there for them when they graduate from high school, get married, and have your grandchildren? Find the motivation. There isn't any food that taste so good that it is more important than your health, your children, your husband, and yourself. We have 5 months left in 2009. Commit to changing your life, and you will be under 200 lbs by new years day.

proudmommy09
07-29-2009, 05:09 PM
I am older than you and I send you information from your future (if you don't lose the weight). One day you'll start to huff and puff to walk up the stairs. Another day, your blood sugar level will rise and your blood pressure will need to be controlled with medication. Still another day, you may suffer a stroke at an early age. If you want to live a long, happy, healthy, productive life with fewer problems of diabetes, high blood pressure, and kidney failure, then you must get your weight under control. Being overweight negatively affects your overall health in every possible way. I looked at the picture with your two lovely children. Don't you want to be there for them when they graduate from high school, get married, and have your grandchildren? Find the motivation. There isn't any food that taste so good that it is more important than your health, your children, your husband, and yourself. We have 5 months left in 2009. Commit to changing your life, and you will be under 200 lbs by new years day.

What an eye opener, I know I need to this, and i WILL

CountingDown
07-29-2009, 05:18 PM
:welcome:
First, you CAN do this.
Second, listen to what Kira said. She is spot-on.
Third, make sure you pay particular attention to the part about loving yourself. If you don't care enough about yourself to commit the time, energy, and resources required to do this, you will fail.

The good news is that you are very, very capable of losing the weight - forever.

I like calorie counting because I can have whatever I want, within limits. That being said, I try to eat a whole-foods diet as much as possible. I just feel so much better when I do.

I also recommend starting with exercise NOW. Don't wait. It really does help, not only with burning calories, but also with helping you feel good about yourself.

ernurse
07-29-2009, 05:21 PM
Proudmommy, the first step towards finding out what works for you is realizing that your are doing it already -- looking for a support source, asking questions. I agree totally with everyone, you have to find something that works for you. I tried adkins -- all I could eat protein, it didn't work...I missed bagels, cream cheese, granola, fruit...etc....I am an ernurse and I (of all the people in this world) should know what it takes to be healthy and skinny, not:} I started WW august 2008---I learned portion control, meaning----do you realize how small a 4 ounce steak really is? Or 1 serving of granola is 1 once....and i'm suppose to live eating like this for the rest of my life? Yes, and I learned how. The bottom line is learning portion control and the foods that work for you. I learned that I had to have a plan---my plan is WW, I get 26 points daily until I get rid of more me. But most of all, be kind to yourself, there is only one you and you are wonderful. smile.

ernurse
07-29-2009, 05:23 PM
proudmommy, your kids are beautiful.. smile

Onederchic
07-29-2009, 05:29 PM
I am older than you and I send you information from your future (if you don't lose the weight). One day you'll start to huff and puff to walk up the stairs. Another day, your blood sugar level will rise and your blood pressure will need to be controlled with medication. Still another day, you may suffer a stroke at an early age. If you want to live a long, happy, healthy, productive life with fewer problems of diabetes, high blood pressure, and kidney failure, then you must get your weight under control. Being overweight negatively affects your overall health in every possible way. I looked at the picture with your two lovely children. Don't you want to be there for them when they graduate from high school, get married, and have your grandchildren? Find the motivation. There isn't any food that taste so good that it is more important than your health, your children, your husband, and yourself. We have 5 months left in 2009. Commit to changing your life, and you will be under 200 lbs by new years day.

Wowzers! What a compelling post! Thanks Samantha :hug:

p7eggyc
07-29-2009, 06:11 PM
Hey there ProudMommy! Good for you for posting...keep that up. There is a lot of wisdom running around these boards.

I too am an all-or-none thinker and that is what this plan is intended to 'bust'. I've had an amazing amount of success getting back on track and originally getting rolling with this.

Give yourself one point per day if:
1. Accountability: record your food somewhere...food journal, on one of the boards, whereever it will hold you accountable to write it down. It doesn't have to be super detailed right now. Just a place where you can plan and document what it is you ate, good, bad and indifferent.
2. Exercise: Any exercise...walk around the block, march in place during commercials, anything. You are trying to establish the thought process that you need to get it in at some point. Again, don't worry about how much, etc., just do something.
3. Water: Increase your water consumption. If you aren't drinking any, add a glass before each meal. If you are drinking it already, cool, easy point.
4. Me time: Take 15 min to do something just for you. Read, journal, whatever is a 'treat' for you.
5. Good/Better/Best Choice: Make one good/better/best choice per day. Skip a treat, count out the chips instead of eating from the bag, leave a bite or 2 behind. Only need one per day.

You can set a reward for days in a row with 5 points or I use a weekly total of 30+ points a week for a reward threshold. Find a meaningful non-food reward and give it to yourself when you get the job done. You'll likely get to a point where one or more of these is too easy and then you can start raising the bar for yourself gradually. Make the exercise goal a certain number of minutes...got the water? Change it out to fruit/veggie servings.

This helps you always be 'on plan' so you aren't ever feeling like you 'blew it'. I had to remove those words from my eating vocabulary. This approach snowballs for most people. Suddenly you find you are doing 30 min of exercise or you've made 7,8,9 good/better/best choices that day but if the next day all you do is one choice and 5 minutes marching in place, you're still ON PLAN. Once you get rolling, you might refine your plan and maybe start counting calories or whatever but these first few weeks will get success under your belt and you'll start to figure out what you are and are not willing to do...one choice, one point at a time.

HTH!

Peg

Beck
07-29-2009, 06:22 PM
I've gone through the same thing- the dieting, the return of the weight (and then some), the anger at myself that I turned on dh, the promises to myself to start today or tomorrow and then end up screwing it up. I've been there.

Just do it! Start now and keep on going, one day at a time.

-Work exercise into your day; run with your kids, jump rope, jumping jacks, kick a soccer ball with them, talk walks, go on family hikes.

-Get the junk foods out of your house and keep them out, for you and for your kids.

-Keep a food journal and chart your weight on a calendar (I've used a charting program at prevention.com for that in the past).

-Find a local friend or relative to work out with.

-Check in here daily. Look at the before and after pictures of those who met goal, read their success stories, get inspiration from those who've traveled the same journey that you're on.k

You can do it Do it for you! Do it for your children and dh!

Good luck, mama.

Windchime
07-29-2009, 11:19 PM
Everyone has given good advice but I have to stress--you must, must MUST give up the "I ate a cookie so I blew it" perspective. I'm going to guess that this is up there in the top 3 reasons that people don't lose weight; because they eat a cookie or two and use that as an excuse or reason to continue to eat free-for-all for the rest of the day.

One cookie, or two cookies, will not break your stride. But eating those cookies every day, non-stop, on top of other high-calorie foods (because you "blew it") WILL cause you to be unable to lose weight.

So at first, you need to be vigilant, but forgiving. Do your best to stick with your plan, and if you have the "I blew it!" mentality, then give yourself permission to have a treat every day. Just at first. You may change your mind a few weeks down the road and decide you don't want/need it, but for now, consider it part of your plan. This works really well for some people (like me); for others; even one cookie can cause an out-of-control binge spree and so they choose to abstain.

This time around, I started out slow. My first goal was to just quit eating junk. Chips of any kind are my kryptonite, so that was the first thing I gave up. No chips and no candy. I was still eating out at lunch, but only that first week or so. Once I had the chip thing under control, I started making a concerted effort to bring my lunch to work. I still eat out twice a week, to this day, and have lost about 40 pounds. Once I started getting good at bringing my lunch, I started exercising. About that time I also started counting calories.

So in other words, I built upon my previous successes. I didn't try to change everything at once because I need time to adjust. Some people would find my rate of weight loss maddeningly slow, and they make all their changes at once (quite successfully too, I might add). The trick is finding what works for you, because we are all different.

You can do this. You really, really, really can. Don't let your past experiences dictate what your future will be. You can do this. Go to the Goals section and look at some of the amazing success stories and pictures there. If they can do it, so can we!

kk140
07-30-2009, 11:29 PM
Kira was right on the money :)
:hug:just wanted to offer some hugs and tell you you can do this!:hug:

VermontMom
07-31-2009, 08:40 PM
Kira was right on the money :)
:hug:just wanted to offer some hugs and tell you you can do this!:hug:

ditto!! :) You are soooo young, sweetheart, this is great that you realize you want (need) to be healthier and you can only improve everything in your life by doing so....I remember the part of feeling so bad about everything, it then affects those close to you...you're wise to see it and want to change that!

The changes might seem pretty tough at first but then all changes in habit are, I urge you to come here to 3FC whenever you feel you are faltering and need strength and support, that's what I do and it always helps. best wishes!! :hug: