Weight Loss Support - How does everyone do it?!




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2fat4u
07-25-2009, 01:06 AM
I am at my heaviest right now [235] And im very displeased with myself, i know that i brought it upon myself, and its my responsibility to lose it. I decided to loose 3-4 pounds a week, seeing that before i would try to loose 10 pounds a week and do those quick weight loss fad diets [yoyodiets] that would just end up in vein! I would loose a good 20-40 pounds at the most, and then crave fat food, and a pizza craving would turn into "since i broke my diet today, im just gonna eat tomorrow."And so on, and then i would just end up eating with my old nasty habbits. But now im fed up with myself to the point were its hard to even look at the mirror and not feel completely disgusted and disapointed in myself. I see all these success storys of how people lost 100-200 pounds and i tell myself that it must have been their body type, or the fact they were older or something. But i have come to realize it is me, and my comitment issues. I would usually start a fad diet with a whole lot of motivation, and then get hungry and find myself on an afternoon or midnight munch! This time i know that i have to change, i know that it is dangerous for me to stay at this weight, [ heart problems, diabetes] my dad has diabetes and i know that means if i keep up like this im going to have it too, and that is the most scariest thing ever to me. I also want to look fabulous in a bikini [ despite my stretch marks] and i want to be able to look good in anything i wear, be it a plastic bag. I need some tips, pointers, and motivation to help me get through this diet...or shall i say new style of living. I actually started yesterday but i binged, and it didnt do much, because when i weighed myself this morning i was 230, and i went to my friend's party and ate 7 slices of pizza, 3 chicken wings, and 2 bowls of spaghetti. UGHHHHH!!~ i really hate myself for doing that. I need some serious help. Please :[


Madison
07-25-2009, 01:25 AM
Just start, and dont stop.

I know that sounds simplistic but that is the key for me. Ofcourse there are things like - planning your food, prepping for the next day, looking out for obstacles, working out etc etc etc etc but at the end of the day, giving up even for one day when it gets too hard rather than just getting right back on track after any blip was my downfall.

I also never set "lose xlbs by x date" goals . . . my main goal was to lose SOME weight every week . . . or month. If that happened then I was truly a success rather than beating myself up for losing "only" xlbs. ANY weight lost is good in my mind :)

So i would start by picking a plan you can stick to, planning what you will eat and being more conscious of what you are eating and why. Many of us eat past our nutritional needs or else we would not be here ;)

Good luck with it sweety!

2fat4u
07-25-2009, 01:31 AM
Just start, and dont stop.

I know that sounds simplistic but that is the key for me. Ofcourse there are things like - planning your food, prepping for the next day, looking out for obstacles, working out etc etc etc etc but at the end of the day, giving up even for one day when it gets too hard rather than just getting right back on track after any blip was my downfall.

I also never set "lose xlbs by x date" goals . . . my main goal was to lose SOME weight every week . . . or month. If that happened then I was truly a success rather than beating myself up for losing "only" xlbs. ANY weight lost is good in my mind :)

So i would start by picking a plan you can stick to, planning what you will eat and being more conscious of what you are eating and why. Many of us eat past our nutritional needs or else we would not be here ;)

Good luck with it sweety!

thanks!~ i also recently started planning my meals, but i seem never to stick to them >.<"


teawithsunshine
07-25-2009, 01:50 AM
Hi there!

I didn't lose 143 lbs all at once, lol. :) I've lost it over the course of several years :)

You really need to not think of this as a diet, but as a lifestyle:

1. what eating plan can you live with for the rest of your life?
2. what exercise program can you live with for the rest of your life?

Try or think of doing anything in terms of food/exercise in the short term for extreme, fast results will most likely lead to failure in the long term :( It has to be realistic or it most likely will not work in the long term. (which is why the diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry since people keep coming back after they try one fad diet after another ;)).

Once you answer those 2 questions, then you're on a better path to losing the amount of weight that you want to lose :)

~ tea

Madison
07-25-2009, 01:58 AM
thanks!~ i also recently started planning my meals, but i seem never to stick to them >.<"

Are you allowing yourself enough food for the day and planning meals based on food that you like?

2fat4u
07-25-2009, 02:02 AM
Are you allowing yourself enough food for the day and planning meals based on food that you like?

yeah i think im eating somewhere around 2000 calories a day,
but i eat like things that are calorie packed, i think i need to eat more of things with little calories, instead of less amounts of calorie packed food so i can keep from being hungry

2fat4u
07-25-2009, 02:04 AM
Hi there!

I didn't lose 143 lbs all at once, lol. :) I've lost it over the course of several years :)

You really need to not think of this as a diet, but as a lifestyle:

1. what eating plan can you live with for the rest of your life?
2. what exercise program can you live with for the rest of your life?

Try or think of doing anything in terms of food/exercise in the short term for extreme, fast results will most likely lead to failure in the long term :( It has to be realistic or it most likely will not work in the long term. (which is why the diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry since people keep coming back after they try one fad diet after another ;)).

Once you answer those 2 questions, then you're on a better path to losing the amount of weight that you want to lose :)

~ tea

i think i could live w/o beef and eat just chicken & turkey & fish b/c i dont eat pork anyway & eat lots of fruits [ i perfer fruits over sweets anyday but i have vegies]
and i can do 1 hour on the treadmill every day in the morning

Madison
07-25-2009, 02:05 AM
Yup! :) Sounds like a good plan. Lean meats like chicken boobs, fish (if you like it) and fresh veggies pack a lot of bang for their calorie buck ;)

teawithsunshine
07-25-2009, 03:37 AM
Hey congrats! You're already on a roll! :)

After you figure it out, all you gotta do is figure out a calorie amount that you feel satisfied with (but not starving) that can help you lose weight-- along with exercise. Doing both will do the trick! :cool:

If you ever want to PM me for advice/questions, etc etc, pls feel free to do so!! It takes a village of support for many to reach their goals, goodness knows I do it a lot myself on this forum! ;)

~ tea

Rosinante
07-25-2009, 05:43 AM
Just two things to add:

Yes, to the just start and don't stop. My avatar tag says 'Happy Plodder' and weightloss really is a case of just getting on with it. No fancy or fad diets (well spotted, they don't work long term), just working out your calorie budget and sticking to it.

'Thinking' you eat around 2,000 is not good enough. Sorry, can't think of a nice way of saying it. You really need to weigh and record what you eat. Try some of the easy, free sites like sparkpeople or dailyplate and others. You might have a magic eye and be spot on but you could also be eating far too many calories or even far too few. Believe it or not, too few can be just as unhelpful to sustained weight loss as too many.

You are also right that you need to get as much and as healthy a bang for your buck calorie-wise. If you use one of those online trackers, you'll soon see just what huge amounts of some stuff you can eat - and, with research and planning, it's not just a ton of lettuce, it can be a ton of something you really like.

Congratulations on being so determined, and on coming here for help, the chicks are great!

Rainbow
07-25-2009, 05:58 AM
Expect to lose 3-4lb a week is unrealistic. Maybe some weeks you will lose that but aiming for 1-2lb is much realistic. I have been working almost flat out most the time since Mark to lose weight and have lost 42lb in that time (18 weeks) which averages at between 2 and 2 and a half pounds per week. If you want to lose weight and keep weight off best to aim for 1-2lb a week. Some weeks you won't lose, others you may lose more than 2lb. Last week I went down by 5lb after a few weeks of very little weight loss. This week I may be up a bit due to TOM.

Your dieting attempts sound like my previous attempts - try to lose as quickly as possible then binge eat when I saw what I weighed on the scales. Aim for a lower amount and that's less likely to happen. Think long term instead of thinking of trying to get rid of the weight as quickly as possible. Even a small amount of weight loss makes a big difference to health.

I'm losing weigh by calories counting and exercise. I know i will now have top keep up with exercise for life and calorie count for life. I make healthy eating choices 90% of the time. Haven't deprived myself of anything but have less healthy foods in small amounts. I'm a binge eater so this has been hard for me to learn though these days I'm "lucky" that I feel sick if I eat too much chocolate or fatty foods. I also drink a load of water - I find the weeks I don't I don't lose weight so well.

Jacque9999
07-25-2009, 06:56 AM
Here's my 2:

It is a lifestyle change not a diet.
I agree with teawithsunshine and her 2 questions but need to add to that. You will not want to have an exercise plan you will want to do for the rest of your life. You need to be committed to a plan you can do now, and be committed to changing it when necessary. You not only don't want to get bored but also want to switch things up so your body doesn't get too used to the same old thing.
No matter what eating plan you chose, WRITE/RECORD everything that you put in your mouth. IMHO, counting calories is the way to go. I use an app on my iPod Touch called Lose It! I account for every calorie in and ever calorie out. It is the ONLY plan that worked for me. Counting calories is sort of the old fashioned way to "diet". But it really is a lifestyle. It seems to me, that so many people, me included, do the fad "diets" and end up losing okay, but put all the weight plus more back on.
Remember its 20% about exercise and 80% about the food.
Keep visiting 3FC...this forum has been a g-dsend...not just for me, but for everybody who visits...often.

rockinrobin
07-25-2009, 07:01 AM
When I finally decided to lose the weight I looked at it as my job, my mission. I was not going to let ANYthing stand in my way. I was tired of being fat, realized that I didn't HAVE to be if I didn't want to be and that was that. I was very determined and I made SURE that I set myself up for success. So yes, no guessing on something so important. Definitely TRACK those calories. It is incredibly easy to take in more calories then you think. Calorie counting is also built in accountability, a built in turn-off switch and built in portion control. It's keeping to a budget and it keeps you from overspending your calories.

And I'll tell you this right now - eating healthy will not happen on it's own - you must plan it out in ADVANCE.

It's also very important to not let yourself get too hungry. I eat often. Every 2 - 2 1/2 hours or so. But good, wholesome, nutrient rich, satisfying, filling foods - not garbage that leaves me wanting more garbage. Not pretzels, and crackers and cookies and pizza where I have a hard time stopping. MUCH easier to not start at all. Chicken, fish, salads, no fat yogurts, fruits, yes veggies (be creative), egg whites, veggie burger type products, etc...

Consistency is also very important. The weekends count just as much as all the other days of the weeks. One "off" day can wipe out any progress made in the other 6. So plan out those weekends even more so, as they're usually more difficult.

Remember saying no to certain foods in NOT deprivation. Not at all. The real deprivation is staying fat, feeling lousy, depressed and not wearing that bikini that you dream of. Every time you say "no" to one of those foods, you're saying YES to you. And you'll be one step closer to being that slim, fit, healthy person that you long to be. Don't trade what you want the VERY most, for what you think you want at the moment. The "food" last for minutes, maybe seconds... The effects of eating well - much more long lasting and rewarding and gratifying in the end. Think long term satisfaction, not short term gratification.

With the right attitude, good planning, including making some coping strategies for the hard times and an iron clad commitment - anything and EVERYthing is possible. You CAN lose weight. It's yours for the taking!

Lori Bell
07-25-2009, 08:33 AM
You list your weight as 235 at the beginning of your post and at 130 at the end. So I'm not really sure where you are in your weight but I'm going to assume it is 235.

Okay, when I started my diet, (yes, I call it a diet...albeit a HEALTHY diet), I decided I had 2 choices. I could either do it, *or* continue to wallow in self pity and misery and watch the world go by without me. Every day I said, "screw it" was another couple days of being a fat, unhealthy, miserable person. Your binge on 7 pieces of pizza, 2 bowls of pasta and 3 chicken wings was enough calories for an entire family of 4. That one binge alone set you back 3-4 days. That is another 3 days of not reaching your goal. Do that again today and you are a week down. Before you know it, your time has run out and your are struggling with diabetes like your Dad wishing you would have just done it. Food is powerful, but not as powerful as you. :hug:

khunter
07-25-2009, 08:45 AM
When I finally decided to lose the weight I looked at it as my job, my mission. I was not going to let ANYthing stand in my way. I was tired of being fat, realized that I didn't HAVE to be if I didn't want to be and that was that. I was very determined and I made SURE that I set myself up for success. So yes, no guessing on something so important. Definitely TRACK those calories. It is incredibly easy to take in more calories then you think. Calorie counting is also built in accountability, a built in turn-off switch and built in portion control. It's keeping to a budget and it keeps you from overspending your calories.

And I'll tell you this right now - eating healthy will not happen on it's own - you must plan it out in ADVANCE.

It's also very important to not let yourself get too hungry. I eat often. Every 2 - 2 1/2 hours or so. But good, wholesome, nutrient rich, satisfying, filling foods - not garbage that leaves me wanting more garbage. Not pretzels, and crackers and cookies and pizza where I have a hard time stopping. MUCH easier to not start at all. Chicken, fish, salads, no fat yogurts, fruits, yes veggies (be creative), egg whites, veggie burger type products, etc...

Consistency is also very important. The weekends count just as much as all the other days of the weeks. One "off" day can wipe out any progress made in the other 6. So plan out those weekends even more so, as they're usually more difficult.

Remember saying no to certain foods in NOT deprivation. Not at all. The real deprivation is staying fat, feeling lousy, depressed and not wearing that bikini that you dream of. Every time you say "no" to one of those foods, you're saying YES to you. And you'll be one step closer to being that slim, fit, healthy person that you long to be. Don't trade what you want the VERY most, for what you think you want at the moment. The "food" last for minutes, maybe seconds... The effects of eating well - much more long lasting and rewarding and gratifying in the end. Think long term satisfaction, not short term gratification.

With the right attitude, good planning, including making some coping strategies for the hard times and an iron clad commitment - anything and EVERYthing is possible. You CAN lose weight. It's yours for the taking!


I hate to "plug" one diet over another because coming from someone who has tried everything and has struggled with weight issues all my life, you really should check out the metabolic research center thread on this website. There are some really supportive and inspirational people over there. I am doing this right now and am doing well. I truely believe this is something that I can stick to for the long term. It can be a little pricey but when I look at all the money that I have wasted over the years on things that didn't work, it really is quite inexpensive considering.
Just a note. Khunter

khunter
07-25-2009, 08:46 AM
I hate to "plug" one diet over another because coming from someone who has tried everything and has struggled with weight issues all my life, you really should check out the metabolic research center thread on this website. There are some really supportive and inspirational people over there. I am doing this right now and am doing well. I truely believe this is something that I can stick to for the long term. It can be a little pricey but when I look at all the money that I have wasted over the years on things that didn't work, it really is quite inexpensive considering.
Just a note. Khunter

what I actually meant to say was coming from someone who has tried everything, you really have to find what works for you.

rockinrobin
07-25-2009, 09:31 AM
what I actually meant to say was coming from someone who has tried everything, you really have to find what works for you.

I'm a little confused. Especially from your previous post. This one hasn't really clarified it for me :?:

But yes, of course we all have to find what works for each of us...... I wasn't trying to force "my way" down any one's throat. Just sharing *my* experience. I'm glad that you've found what works for you, but I think I'll stick to what I'm doing as I've found success with it.

But the truth is, nothing, nothing would have WORKED for me, until I was ready and willing to make something work. The best program in the world, whatever that may be for each individual, will only work and continue to work as long as one commits to making it work and puts in an ongoing continuous effort. It won't happen on it's own. It takes effort and willingness.

Onederchic
07-25-2009, 09:34 AM
I'm a little confused. Especially from your previous post. This one hasn't really clarified it for me :?:

But yes, of course we all have to find what works for each of us...... I wasn't trying to force "my way" down any one's throat. Just sharing *my* experience. I'm glad that you've found what works for you, but I think I'll stick to what I'm doing as I've found success with it.

But the truth is, nothing, nothing would have WORKED for me, until I was ready and willing to make something work. The best program in the world, whatever that may be for each individual, will only work and continue to work as long as one commits to making it work and puts in an ongoing continuous effort. It won't happen on it's own. It takes effort and willingness.


I totally agree with this! Thanks Robin for plucking the words from my muddled brain :D :rofl:

rockinrobin
07-25-2009, 09:44 AM
I totally agree with this! Thanks Robin for plucking the words from my muddled brain :D :rofl:

I don't think every one WOULD agree. But you see having lost the weight, I have hindsight on my side (I believe you do as well). In the past, I blamed it on the "program". "Well, I just can't seem to find the right plan". Nothing works for me. "I have no control". "I like food too much" "I have no time. And on and on. Nope. I wasn't willing to make a change. I wasn't willing to put forth the effort. I wasn't willing to do what was required. I wasn't willing to find what works for me and then MAKE it work.

Onederchic
07-25-2009, 09:47 AM
I agree. I was notorious for finding excuse after excuse after excuse but not anymore :nono:. It is not easy, no doubt, but every day that I stay committed and focused and determined to change my life then each night I can go to bed and be proud of myself which is a pretty dang great feeling :D

justformenow1
07-25-2009, 10:09 AM
Remember saying no to certain foods in NOT deprivation. Not at all. The real deprivation is staying fat, feeling lousy, depressed and not wearing that bikini that you dream of. Every time you say "no" to one of those foods, you're saying YES to you. And you'll be one step closer to being that slim, fit, healthy person that you long to be. Don't trade what you want the VERY most, for what you think you want at the moment. The "food" last for minutes, maybe seconds... The effects of eating well - much more long lasting and rewarding and gratifying in the end. Think long term satisfaction, not short term gratification.

With the right attitude, good planning, including making some coping strategies for the hard times and an iron clad commitment - anything and EVERYthing is possible. You CAN lose weight. It's yours for the taking!


You said it girl!!! I couldn't have said anything more to the point, you took the thoughts right out of my head!
In my own opinion, it comes down to how much you really want it, and making the decisions and doing the work to get it. It can be done, and you can reach your goal.
Positive thinking is also a really big help too, I know, because I tend to be a little pessimistic myself. Visulize yourself thin. See yourself wearing that awesome outfit. Imagine how you will feel, light, healthy and fit. It is woking for me, I'm still at the beginning of the road, but it is a one-way trip baby, no looking back. Good Luck, you can do this! :hug:

Missunderstood
07-25-2009, 11:29 AM
I want to jump in here on this one to give you my side. I was 285 in 2003. I HAD to lose weight fast, like 3-4 pounds a week just like you . I HAD it in my mind it was necessary. I did atkins very strictly for a year and lost 100 pounds. After my wedding I started going off plan, got a little depressed by my pictures because I was still fat and low and behold, I gained it all plus 26 pounds. I am not saying this will happen to you - but my "rush" didn't last and it wound up hurting me. I have now lost 65 pounds in a year. I found a lifestyle I like. I pretty much watch my carbs like Atkins but I do eat what I want just in moderation. I also exercise. Granted I am 246 pounds still, but I would rather it take one year for 65 pounds then have done nothing because I couldn't do it as fast and discouraged myself. Pick a lifestyle you like with diet and exercise, take your mind off the scale and the need to do it fast and just concentrate on getting healthier. Before you know it, you will feel great!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

MsDiana 08
07-25-2009, 11:40 AM
your post is exactly how I feel / felt.
My friend made a statement to me one time that I just cant forget. he said that when I am really sick of the way I look, when I am really ready to lose the weight, that I will.
And that is so true.
Because when you are really ready, you will stop making excuses and you will keep your eye on the prize.
I just recently got serious with my diet. Everytime I feel like cheating or slacking off, i just look at my self in the mirror and realize that either I will always look like this, or I can get off my butt and do something about it!

it is one step at a time, one day at a time.

p7eggyc
07-25-2009, 11:48 AM
I'm sorry to hear you talk so poorly about yourself. One surefire technique for failure is self-flagellation so I really encourage you to start trying to find different ways to talk to yourself. I would start with considering a change in your screenname here. Consider making it something about how you want things to be vs. how they are now. Words are powerful and beating yourself up with them is just not productive.

I agree that your expectations are probably unrealistic and the weight is probably not going to come off as quickly as even 3-4 lbs a week unless you choose to do things that you already know don't work long term. Is it possible for you to consider not even thinking about how much weight you will lose and start focusing on behaviors only? I believe that it is only your behaviors you can control, not the scale and it sounds like your behaviors are really a place where you'll easily find improvement pretty quickly. For me, I only worry about the behaviors and the weight follows but I also take a less common approach and don't weigh myself. I do this for health reasons and it doesn't really matter if what I'm doing is causing me to lose weight. I need to do it no matter what. Conveniently, I also lose/maintain weight because they go hand in hand.

I've had an amazing amount of success getting back on track and originally getting rolling with this.

Give yourself one point per day if:
1. Accountability: record your food somewhere...food journal, on one of the boards, whereever it will hold you accountable to write it down. It doesn't have to be super detailed right now. Just a place where you can plan and document what it is you ate, good, bad and indifferent.
2. Exercise: Any exercise...walk around the block, march in place during commercials, anything. You are trying to establish the thought process that you need to get it in at some point. Again, don't worry about how much, etc., just do something. Sounds like you have a piece of this already so maybe make it a 30 min minimum.
3. Water: Increase your water consumption. If you aren't drinking any, add a glass before each meal. If you are drinking it already, cool, easy point.
4. Me time: Take 15 min to do something just for you. Read, journal, whatever is a 'treat' for you.
5. Good/Better/Best Choice: Make one good/better/best choice per day. Skip a treat, count out the chips instead of eating from the bag, leave a bite or 2 behind. Only need one per day.

You can set a reward for days in a row with 5 points or I use a weekly total of 30+ points a week for a reward threshold. Find a meaningful non-food reward and give it to yourself when you get the job done. You'll likely get to a point where one or more of these is too easy and then you can start raising the bar for yourself gradually. Make the exercise goal a certain number of minutes...got the water? Change it out to fruit/veggie servings.

HTH!

Peg

ValRock
07-25-2009, 12:30 PM
I think in order to make the weight loss work we all have to get to a place where we're ready to make it a long term lifestyle change and not just a crash diet.

I'd been on a diet since I was 12 and it got me nowhere. I bounced around the upper 100's lower 200's all through highschool and college. I'd lose 40 lbs eating nothing but lettuce and gain it all back and then some in no time. I'll readily admit that I had NO idea what I was doing. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I could lose weight without starving myself.

After I had my son I decided that I was done with all the torture (because honestly that's what it is)... I could spend more time yo yoing and walking around blindly with my weight climbing or I could get to work, do some research, and figure out how my body works. For the first time something worked, and it worked well! I lost 100 lbs after I had him. Not because I starved myself but because I knew what kinds of foods in what amounts would feed my body and make me successful.

I gained it all back when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was busy and tired and stressed and I stopped caring. THAT is not going to happen again ;). Once I lose this weight I have the tools in my belt to keep it off. If the weight comes back (it won't!!!) I have nobody to blame but myself.

You have to make a plan for yourself. Find out what works for you! I calorie count. I account for every bit of food that enters my mouth. I am in control of my success. There are certain foods that I enjoy but I know they will derail me so I avoid them and I'm okay with that... there are better choices that I've found I enjoy just as much! This morning I had a bowl of high fiber cereal mixed with yogurt and it was delicious and I'm full and not cranky and deprived!

3-4 lbs is not realistic IMHO. These are crash diet numbers not healthy weight loss numbers. I average about 2 lbs a week. I'm thrilled with that!!!

Either you can start doing this the right way, and the tools are all right here on this board! and find yourself at goal in a year or 2 years... or you can keep crash dieting and find yourself up another 40 lbs in a year. The choice is up to you!!! ;)

You CAN do this!

SunshineCA
07-25-2009, 01:01 PM
I too was a llittle confused with the 235/130 thing. I just chalked it up to a typo. ;)

Welcome to the site and best wishes for whatever plan you decide on for your weight loss. :)

2fat4u
07-26-2009, 01:28 PM
When I finally decided to lose the weight I looked at it as my job, my mission. I was not going to let ANYthing stand in my way. I was tired of being fat, realized that I didn't HAVE to be if I didn't want to be and that was that. I was very determined and I made SURE that I set myself up for success. So yes, no guessing on something so important. Definitely TRACK those calories. It is incredibly easy to take in more calories then you think. Calorie counting is also built in accountability, a built in turn-off switch and built in portion control. It's keeping to a budget and it keeps you from overspending your calories.

And I'll tell you this right now - eating healthy will not happen on it's own - you must plan it out in ADVANCE.

It's also very important to not let yourself get too hungry. I eat often. Every 2 - 2 1/2 hours or so. But good, wholesome, nutrient rich, satisfying, filling foods - not garbage that leaves me wanting more garbage. Not pretzels, and crackers and cookies and pizza where I have a hard time stopping. MUCH easier to not start at all. Chicken, fish, salads, no fat yogurts, fruits, yes veggies (be creative), egg whites, veggie burger type products, etc...

Consistency is also very important. The weekends count just as much as all the other days of the weeks. One "off" day can wipe out any progress made in the other 6. So plan out those weekends even more so, as they're usually more difficult.

Remember saying no to certain foods in NOT deprivation. Not at all. The real deprivation is staying fat, feeling lousy, depressed and not wearing that bikini that you dream of. Every time you say "no" to one of those foods, you're saying YES to you. And you'll be one step closer to being that slim, fit, healthy person that you long to be. Don't trade what you want the VERY most, for what you think you want at the moment. The "food" last for minutes, maybe seconds... The effects of eating well - much more long lasting and rewarding and gratifying in the end. Think long term satisfaction, not short term gratification.

With the right attitude, good planning, including making some coping strategies for the hard times and an iron clad commitment - anything and EVERYthing is possible. You CAN lose weight. It's yours for the taking!

OMG! thankyou, reading this really did make me cry, you should be a motivational speaker, any time i feel weak im going to read this :]

2fat4u
07-26-2009, 01:34 PM
Thanks everyone for the support, it was really motivational reading this. Thanks again everyone!!!

I have started a journal, and even a Fitday account, i work out every day for 1 hour and i feel great afterwards, i have been calorie counting, and i eat everything i want just everything healthy. I added more vegies and fruits and now im on a 2000 calorie budget, and suprisingly when i weighed myself in the morning [ i only weigh myself in the morning] i seemed to have became 230 i didnt feel like i was loosing weight, but i did. It was very confusing to me, and i still am confused, because i havent felt like eating bad food, i wasnt hungry and i was still loosing weight. In the past i thought that hunger meant i was loosing weight, i know that loosing 5lbs in that short is really bad, and i didnt even mean it, but it just happend, i havent been depriving myself at all.

ajowens
07-26-2009, 11:39 PM
I really appreciate your struggle. I am currently trying to modify my plan in similar ways. I am not a pro by any means... not even an beginner but I am happy to share the things I find successful and would love if you would do the same!!

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/tulip-bar/bee01/lb/174/135/169/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)

Aclai4067
07-26-2009, 11:51 PM
Expect to lose 3-4lb a week is unrealistic. Maybe some weeks you will lose that but aiming for 1-2lb is much realistic.

I can't believe it took until the 11th post for someone to say this. It is the first thought that entered my mind when I read the first post. I can not stress enough! There will be weeks when you loose that much, maybe even more. But most weeks you'll lose 1-2, and that's doing great. And if you don't lose or you gain some weeks, well that's okay too. Just keep going and be prond of yourself for every single pound you lose!

Jewcy
07-27-2009, 12:56 AM
Every day I said, "screw it" was another couple days of being a fat, unhealthy, miserable person. Your binge on 7 pieces of pizza, 2 bowls of pasta and 3 chicken wings was enough calories for an entire family of 4. That one binge alone set you back 3-4 days. That is another 3 days of not reaching your goal. Do that again today and you are a week down. Before you know it, your time has run out and your are struggling with diabetes like your Dad wishing you would have just done it...

Can we stop conflating "fat" with "unhealthy" and "miserable"? Fat is neither a necessary nor a sufficient condition for being unhealthy, miserable, ugly, stupid, out of control, or any of the other delightful adjectives we regularly attach automatically to "fat". If you, LoriBell, were miserable at X weight and are happier at Y weight, than that is wonderful for you, and I am so glad that you had the initiative to change your life. My question is, why the need for self-flagellation? I see this contradiction on this site regularly..surely, we can all agree that people of ALL sizes deserve the same regard and respect; yet so often women (and men) seem desperate to separate themselves from that former, "fatunhappymiserableself". And as a person coming to this site for support, I certainly would not see "you've already set yourself back 3-4 days" comment as helpful in any way. To me, it reads as, "you f***ed up." I don't doubt your intentions for a moment. But sometimes tough love is just... tough.

I will never believe -- and this has been borne out in my own life -- that disgust is a more powerful agent for change than positivity, self-regard, and self-kindness.

I welcome all amens, flames, arguments, and feisty comebacks ;)

Madison
07-27-2009, 01:18 AM
That post kinda makes me want to stand up and applaud - I guess that'd be one for the amen's! ;)

Thighs Be Gone
07-27-2009, 01:26 AM
I simply started making changes. I went cold turkey on fast food, sweets and garbage foods. I didn't even have a bite. One bite for me always led to the 2nd, 3rd, and finally the whole bag. Once I started experiencing success, I just continued. I found 3FC when I was down maybe 30 pounds and just kept going. I kept reading. I kept my nutrition and activity levels going. I kept reading. I am still reading and learning. For now, it must take precedence in my life ahead of anyone or anything. Not to say I have no other responsibiities, I do. I just don't allow any of them ahead of my nutrition, sleep and exercise. In most ways, I am much more balanced now than I was before I gave myself this gift. I don't feel the need to have the best dressed kids, the prettiest house, always the room mom, etc. any more. I am just me. And you know what? That's enough!

Thighs Be Gone
07-27-2009, 01:34 AM
Can we stop conflating "fat" with "unhealthy" and "miserable"? Fat is neither a necessary nor a sufficient condition for being unhealthy, miserable, ugly, stupid, out of control, or any of the other delightful adjectives we regularly attach automatically to "fat". If you, LoriBell, were miserable at X weight and are happier at Y weight, than that is wonderful for you, and I am so glad that you had the initiative to change your life. My question is, why the need for self-flagellation? I see this contradiction on this site regularly..surely, we can all agree that people of ALL sizes deserve the same regard and respect; yet so often women (and men) seem desperate to separate themselves from that former, "fatunhappymiserableself". And as a person coming to this site for support, I certainly would not see "you've already set yourself back 3-4 days" comment as helpful in any way. To me, it reads as, "you f***ed up." I don't doubt your intentions for a moment. But sometimes tough love is just... tough.

I will never believe -- and this has been borne out in my own life -- that disgust is a more powerful agent for change than positivity, self-regard, and self-kindness.

I welcome all amens, flames, arguments, and feisty comebacks ;)

One thing we are here at 3FC (unlike other sites) is brutally honest with each other. It doesn't mean we have a lack of support or that we are putting ourselves down. It just means we are honest. For me personally, denial about my obese condition and my clothes that wouldn't button kept me fat way too long. While Lori's style may not be yours, she has been through **** and back with her weight and has been tremendously successful not to mention--helpful to many members here.

Jewcy
07-27-2009, 01:35 AM
Aw, thank you Danni *blush* I love it when my rants actually make sense.

Thighs: (Is it ok if I shorten your name that way? lol)

I share your appreciation of 3FC's honesty. It is the reason I felt I could post what I did. I was sincere in my admiration for Lori's tenacity and the knowledge she has to share. At the same time, as a person who is intimate with the self-hatred bogeyman, I think the OP probably has enough self-hatred and then some, and does not need confirmation. I guess I differentiate between brutal and helpful honesty.

Also, there are multiple ways to evaluate failure and success. Certainly caloric intake is one way, but focussing exclusively on the calorie aspect may discourage people from making other, equally important changes -- i.e., are you more successful if you eat 800 calories of Twinkies, or 1800 calories of a balanced diet, the day after a binge?

I'm tired, and having trouble expressing myself as I'd like to, so I'm sorry if this doesn't make tons of sense.

Thank you for responding with civility and a challenge :D

Betony
07-27-2009, 06:02 AM
Can we stop conflating "fat" with "unhealthy" and "miserable"? Fat is neither a necessary nor a sufficient condition for being unhealthy, miserable, ugly, stupid, out of control, or any of the other delightful adjectives we regularly attach automatically to "fat".


I agree with you that people of all sizes deserve respect and positive self-esteem, but I also understand that for many people (including myself), being fat comes with a number of not-so-great side effects which can include feeling out of shape, unhealthy, etc. It doesn't mean that one automatically leads to the other, but to say that one feels both fat and unhealthy, or fat and miserable, may be true for that person. I think that many of us have felt that way at one time or another, and it can be cathartic to be able to say it and accept that we can change those feelings. It doesn't mean that we're pointing at other people and saying, "You're fat, so you're miserable, unhealthy, ugly, and out of control." That would indeed be brutal and unhelpful. But to acknowledge what we feel is a different story. I'm glad that someone else can come here and say, "Man, I felt horrid when I was x weight, and now that I've dropped y pounds, I feel so much better!" because it gives me hope.

rockinrobin
07-27-2009, 06:10 AM
I will never believe -- and this has been borne out in my own life -- that disgust is a more powerful agent for change than positivity, self-regard, and self-kindness.

Very true. Very. Very. VERY. Although *for me* I think the change came about when the two became hand in hand (the kindness, self regard, positivity AND the being miserable enough to want to make a change). There was no way around it. None. I WAS fat and being THAT fat DOES make one UNhealthy. Like a time bomb waiting to go off. It was just a matter of when disaster struck - not if. WHEN. And boy oh boy was I miserable. MISERABLE. Miserable beyond belief. And it was all directly coming from the fact that I was - fat. And when I finally realized that I didn't HAVE to be fat, that I DID indeed have control over it - that's when a change occurred for me. I wish I had only snapped out of it, realized it - earlier. I wish I had been brutally honest with myself earlier.

Thighs Be Gone
07-27-2009, 10:02 AM
OMG, yes RR. Yes! Just please sign my name to your post. --Beautifully articulated as so many of your posts are.

Yes, I was miserable too. I detested shopping, I avoided mirrors, cameras, had a hard time keeping up with my kids, hated being the biggest girl in the room again!..avoided the dr. office--I knew what he would say! Healthwise I was in pain every morning and my body was being fueled with poison--my cholesterol was too high and my bp too!

Did I hate myself? No, of course not. I had lots of gifts and talents and was a good person before. But yes, I WAS miserable.

Ija
07-27-2009, 11:08 AM
I welcome all amens, flames, arguments, and feisty comebacks ;)

This post was long overdue, you get a huge Amen from me! ;)

KDuffer
07-27-2009, 12:19 PM
Others have mentioned it but having a goal to lose 3-4 pounds a week on the long run is not that realistic. You may lose that much in the beginning but to lose 4 pounds, you need to consume 2,000 calories less each day than what you use. I would try to target 1-2 pounds a week at most.

time2lose
07-27-2009, 01:00 PM
Originally posted by 2fat4u - I have started a journal, and even a Fitday account, i work out every day for 1 hour and i feel great afterwards, i have been calorie counting, and i eat everything i want just everything healthy. I added more vegies and fruits and now im on a 2000 calorie budget, and suprisingly when i weighed myself in the morning [ i only weigh myself in the morning] i seemed to have became 230 i didnt feel like i was loosing weight, but i did. It was very confusing to me, and i still am confused, because i havent felt like eating bad food, i wasnt hungry and i was still loosing weight. In the past i thought that hunger meant i was loosing weight, i know that loosing 5lbs in that short is really bad, and i didnt even mean it, but it just happend, i havent been depriving myself at all.

Loosing 5 lbs quickly when you first start a program is very common and not a problem as long as you don't expect to lose 5 lbs every week.

It sounds like you are on the right track and are doing great! You have come up with a reasonable plan that sounds doable for the long haul. I understand why you think that losing weight = hunger but it really does not. Eating healthily should reduce hunger pangs so it sounds like you have found the right food plan!

Isn't it great that you can lose weight and not be hungry! Celebrate, keep it up and watch those pounds disappear.

You can do this!

AngelicLyna
07-27-2009, 04:18 PM
My doctor once told me that "diets don't fail, people do", it sounds a bit harsh but it really did change my outlook that I really need to stick to the plans I set up and not give up a few weeks into it. It's great that you are planning out what to do and keeping track of things 2fat4u, good for you! Every little thing you do to better your health is a MAJOR accomplishment. A large part of my "success" so far is from the support I get here. Support plays a large role in basically everything we do. So come here often, I come here daily so I don't stray.

2fat4u
07-27-2009, 11:06 PM
These past few days i have been doing fine, but again being the weakling that i am, i let emotions muddle up my brain, diet, and even interfere with my excersize. Last night i had a horrible drama filled night to the point where i broke down and cried because i was so confused and just couldnt take it any more. So this morning when i woke up, i felt sick, and could only work out for 30 minutes, and i felt so bad that for dinner i ate pancakes and a hotdog. I also ate 20 crackers afterwards. :[ but tomorrow is a fresh new day, ill pick up where i left off. thanks everyone for the support !!! ♥♥♥♥

rockinrobin
07-28-2009, 06:11 AM
These past few days i have been doing fine, but again being the weakling that i am, i let emotions muddle up my brain, diet, and even interfere with my excersize. Last night i had a horrible drama filled night to the point where i broke down and cried because i was so confused and just couldnt take it any more. So this morning when i woke up, i felt sick, and could only work out for 30 minutes, and i felt so bad that for dinner i ate pancakes and a hotdog. I also ate 20 crackers afterwards. :[ but tomorrow is a fresh new day, ill pick up where i left off. thanks everyone for the support !!! ♥♥♥♥

I'm sorry you're going through such an emotional time. But you are not a weakling. You are stronger then you think! Stop telling yourself that you ARE a weakling. We all have our moments. You DO have strength. And lots of it. You can muster it up. It's there. Delve deep. It's there. And when you do find it, you will AMAZE yourself. It and you are worth the effort. Again, you're no weakling. None of us are perfect. Luckily, perfection is not required.

There is nothing wrong with "only" working out for 30 minutes. Nothing. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Besides, "they" say that losing weight is 80% food and 20% exercise. I think you really need to be focusing on the food aspect of this equation.

Pancakes, hot dog and crackers were not the best of choices, granted. I'm not sure where these foods are coming from, but you need to get rid of them. You need to set yourself up for success so that at the first sign of stress (or joy, anger, boredom, etc..) you don't run for "off" foods.

How about writing down every little bite that goes into your mouth BEFORE you put it in there. NO MATTER WHAT. PERIOD. The good, the bad, the ugly. You bite it, you write it.

Do you plan out your day? Write or type or something your menu for the day IN ADVANCE. And then stick to it no matter what. No wavering from it. Become accountable to yourself. Require more from yourself.

When stress does hit - find some other alternatives BESIDES food. Journal, read, take a walk, do a puzzle, sew, knit, crochet, take a hot bath, a long walk, call a friend, play a video game, clean up your room, count to 100, have a hot cup of tea, a big glass of water, polish your nails - do something - anything - just head away from the food. You must, must, MUST remember that food causes waaaay more stress then it solves. Require more from yourself. Don't settle for a quick temporary fix that brings on more problems then it eliminates.

If you MUST eat - nibble on a box of grape tomatoes, a handful of raw string beans, a sliced apple. Minimize the damage. Make sure there are always, always healthy foods around.

Yes, today IS a new day. And so is tomorrow and the day after that. Make the most of each and every day. Every and each. Get through the day any way that you can. One hour at a time. One minute at a time if need be. Tell yourself over and over again that you CAN do this, even if you think that you can't. You keep telling yourself that you CAN do it and then you start "doing it" and before you know it - not only CAN you do it - but you will be doing it. :hug:

thinpossible
07-28-2009, 09:35 AM
Thanks everyone for the support, it was really motivational reading this. Thanks again everyone!!!

I have started a journal, and even a Fitday account, i work out every day for 1 hour and i feel great afterwards, i have been calorie counting, and i eat everything i want just everything healthy. I added more vegies and fruits and now im on a 2000 calorie budget, and suprisingly when i weighed myself in the morning [ i only weigh myself in the morning] i seemed to have became 230 i didnt feel like i was loosing weight, but i did. It was very confusing to me, and i still am confused, because i havent felt like eating bad food, i wasnt hungry and i was still loosing weight. In the past i thought that hunger meant i was loosing weight, i know that loosing 5lbs in that short is really bad, and i didnt even mean it, but it just happend, i havent been depriving myself at all.

It sounds like you're off to a great start. Eating healthy, tracking your cals, exercising, and not being to restrictive. That's a recipe for success in my book. You've got to be in it for the long haul, so you've got to have something you can live with. Don't worry about the rate you're losing. As long as you're losing that's the important thing. You ARE doing it!

2fat4u
07-28-2009, 01:17 PM
I'm sorry you're going through such an emotional time. But you are not a weakling. You are stronger then you think! Stop telling yourself that you ARE a weakling. We all have our moments. You DO have strength. And lots of it. You can muster it up. It's there. Delve deep. It's there. And when you do find it, you will AMAZE yourself. It and you are worth the effort. Again, you're no weakling. None of us are perfect. Luckily, perfection is not required.

There is nothing wrong with "only" working out for 30 minutes. Nothing. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Besides, "they" say that losing weight is 80% food and 20% exercise. I think you really need to be focusing on the food aspect of this equation.

Pancakes, hot dog and crackers were not the best of choices, granted. I'm not sure where these foods are coming from, but you need to get rid of them. You need to set yourself up for success so that at the first sign of stress (or joy, anger, boredom, etc..) you don't run for "off" foods.

How about writing down every little bite that goes into your mouth BEFORE you put it in there. NO MATTER WHAT. PERIOD. The good, the bad, the ugly. You bite it, you write it.

Do you plan out your day? Write or type or something your menu for the day IN ADVANCE. And then stick to it no matter what. No wavering from it. Become accountable to yourself. Require more from yourself.

When stress does hit - find some other alternatives BESIDES food. Journal, read, take a walk, do a puzzle, sew, knit, crochet, take a hot bath, a long walk, call a friend, play a video game, clean up your room, count to 100, have a hot cup of tea, a big glass of water, polish your nails - do something - anything - just head away from the food. You must, must, MUST remember that food causes waaaay more stress then it solves. Require more from yourself. Don't settle for a quick temporary fix that brings on more problems then it eliminates.

If you MUST eat - nibble on a box of grape tomatoes, a handful of raw string beans, a sliced apple. Minimize the damage. Make sure there are always, always healthy foods around.

Yes, today IS a new day. And so is tomorrow and the day after that. Make the most of each and every day. Every and each. Get through the day any way that you can. One hour at a time. One minute at a time if need be. Tell yourself over and over again that you CAN do this, even if you think that you can't. You keep telling yourself that you CAN do it and then you start "doing it" and before you know it - not only CAN you do it - but you will be doing it. :hug:

Thanks so much RR you always seem to make myday, strangley today when i got on the scale i lost 2 pounds?? IDK my body is so weird, but im thankful :] This is the first time in a while that i have seen 228 on my scale !! WOO HOO :carrot: Thank you, Thank you , Thank you !!!!

jendiet
07-28-2009, 01:18 PM
congratulations on your new low! I am so excited for you. I know how good it feels to see that number moving!

2fat4u
07-28-2009, 10:22 PM
What a confusing day today, I started to read paul mckena's book "i can make you thin" and i think the hypnosis might have started to work on me...i didnt know whether to eat healthy or eat what i want >.< wow. Im going to give it a shot and buy the book :] unless someone is done with their book and is willing to give it up haha ^__^ I just ended up having dinner and lunch together and eating alot. But i was full and still am, and probably wont be eating for the rest of the night.