So, over the weekend, my mom and I took a day trip to a city we used to live in a few hours away, to get our hair done together. We figured once the baby comes, these types of trips will be less frequent and usually not just the 2 of us anymore. While we were driving she told me, "I'm going to be honest with you...the first month after you give birth is going to be horrible." WOW...that's nice to hear! She said between being tired, the bleeding, the milk coming in, trying to figure out breastfeeding, the waking up a million times in the night and the normal crying and just feeling yuck, that first month really kinda sucks. She said she wouls rather tell me, so I am prepared for it, rather than not and have me taken by surprise when I am actually going through it. My question is...how true is this? Is she making it sound worse than it is or is that a pretty accurate portrayal of life right after having baby? If it is true, what are some ways to make the transition easier? Thanks so much!
Oh man, you gotta love your mom. It is true, all of it. And when it is all happening to you, all of a sudden you feel like you joined some special "mom" club that no one ever speaks of, except your mom, bless her soul. Don't despair though, around 6 months you'll wake up (after almost a full night of sleep) and think "huh, I see why people do this, I can do this!" There is so much love and joy and so much exhaustion and stress, but it goes by in the blink of an eye, so even though you think you might be living in ****, just know that it is temporary and it gets better. Congratulations and I wish you much joy and happiness and there WILL be lots of that!
I was on an emotional high for the first 3 months, then I crashed really bad after that and ended up w/ PPD. But yes, a lot of times that first month (or 6!) can be rough.
What helped me was taking evening primrose oil and being open about how I was feeling. If you need help, don't hesitate to ask! Also, try to enjoy it - before you know it your baby will be 10 mos and crawling!
Oh, ideas on making transition easier... I got a book called "On Becoming Babywise" It's about sleep, and how to get you more of it, it worked for my two kids and my sister's two kids. Lack of sleep literally is crazy-making, so the more of it you can get, the better you wll feel, well, eventually anyway... The first little while though, you just have to accept the fact that you will not get enough sleep, and what really helped me was when someone told me to stop fighting being tired, just know you're going to be tired, accept it as part of your world and move on. That changed everything for me because I spent alot of time on trying to figure out how I was going to get some sleep, any sleep, every single day. Once I let that go, the stress about it seemed alot less.
If you would have asked me after my first I would have said "She's absolutely right, it's ****!" I thought I was going insane for about 2 months after he was born. I was so obsessed with trying to control him or put him on a schedule and I was so concerned with him not doing what he was "supposed to do" that it was a nightmare.
When I had my daughter all the expectations went out the window. I let her sleep when she wanted to sleep, I fed her when she was hungry, I put everything else on the backburner and let her be a baby. And goodness... eventually she DID get herself on a schedule and she DID start sleeping at regular intervals and she did go longer between feedings and I was a much saner person through it all .
Just focus on taking care of your baby and taking care of youself and you'll be fine! Yeah, you bleed... yeah, you're leaking milk all over the place... yeah newborns never sleep at the right times... but they're only that little once! Enjoy that time with your baby!
OH, and remember... you CANNOT spoil a newborn!!! I spoiled the heck out of both of mine as infants and they're independent happy kids .
I'm a mom of 6, including a set of twins. It can be difficult, but it really depends on the baby's temperment, and much depends on YOU.
I never had trouble breastfeeding, though the first couple of days it feels like a vice is being squeezed on your nipples, but you can help prevent that by toughening up your nipples now (rub them with a line-dried towel after the shower, gently pull them, etc). If you have any troubles with breastfeeding please consult a lactation consultant, they really are very knowledgeable and it will make for a better experience for you and baby.
I always had an post birth "high" after delivery, and it lasted a few days to a week. The tiredness does set in after that, but you must sleep when baby sleeps. Don't set yourself up for lack of sleep by thinking that you'll do laundry, dishes, shopping, other chores while baby sleeps. Give yourself a break, let things slide a bit, and sleep, sleep, sleep when baby does. This will also help to establish a good milk supply for baby, too much activity and too little sleep will affect supply. (Oatmeal is very good for upping supply)
Bleeding: Maybe TMI, but I bled between 3-4 weeks after each birth, slightly less after my c-section. If you do too much too soon you will bleed longer and heavier. Let yourself heal- again, take it easy the first month (or longer), and things will go much easier for you.
If you go into it with a positive attitude you'll have a positive experience, much like with anything in life. If you go into thinking that it's going to suck, it'll suck. Don't focus on the negatives that come along with a new baby, concentrate on the beauty of your babymoon; you'll never get those sweet quiet nights when you and baby are together back after they've grown up. It really does go by in the blink of an eye. My favorite saying is, "The days are long, but the years are short." Embrace each day with your newborn; they change so much so quickly, and you don't want to miss it.
I hope the remainder of your pregnancy goes easy for you, that you have a wonderful birth, and that bringing home baby will go smoothly for you.
It's probably different for everyone, but in my opinion, SHE'S KEEPIN IT REAL!! LoL ... Well, lemme explain ... My first baby slept thru the night, and was great. The only reason it was hard the first weeks was because i had a c-section so the recovery is painful. But with my 2ND baby .... Oh man, the first 2 months were HORRIBLE... i was lacking sleep so bad that I was afraid to drive like that! He had his days and nights mixed up so he was up and ready to party everynight around 10pm. UGH! Thank goodness my hubby was there and would make me go lay down and nap while he watched the kids!
Anyway, I think it really depends on the baby's personality, sleeping/eating habits, etc and what kind of support you have. Don't worry tho, you will be fine. Enjoy ur new baby
Some things about it are truly unpleasant but the wonderful things far outweigh them!
Get yourself to a La Leche League meeting now & organize with a lactation consultant beforehand - having support can really make or break breastfeeding - it is sometimes difficult to get going. And Lots of lanolin for the nips.
Plan to just stay in bed with baby. Have dh or other supportive people do the laundry & the cleaning & the cooking while you just love on the baby & get as much sleep as you can around the baby's schedule.
Honestly, I think I would have really enjoyed those first couple weeks if I hadn't torn so badly. I had a 3rd degree tear & couldn't move without pain. But a tear that bad is relatively rare.
Congrats on your baby!! There might be rough patches but you'll make it through it & it will be well worth it - guaranteed!
You mom is definitely keeping it real. But, and this is a big BUT, the good so much outweighs the bad. You'll be a zombie for a couple of months, and you'll wake up sometimes wondering how you can go on for one more day. But, you do. Some days you will just survive. Other days will be wonderful and you'll wonder what all the fuss is about.
Tips for making it easier - (these are what helped for me.) 1. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Everyone says it because it's true! The housework and cooking will still be there when you wake up. If you can, arrange for people to bring you meals for the first few weeks. It saved me. 2. Resolve with your hubby that neither of you will take anything personally for the first 6 or 8 weeks. This is when the sleep deprivation is worst and your hormones are wackiest (even wackier than when you're pregnant, believe it or not!). Don't take anything personally, let it go, and be as understanding as possible. 3. Take shifts at night. Don't both try to stay up with the baby and sleep at the same time (unless, of course, you have a sleeping baby at night.) Most babies have their days and nights reversed at first, so be prepared for that. 4. Try to shower at least every other day. It sounds strange, but it's hard to find the time. It will make you feel much better and more human.
You'll be fine. Bottom line is that even when it's hard, we just do it! And, everyone says that it's worth it because it is. No question, hands down, 100% worth every hard moment.
One of the best things I ever heard was, "Routines are for dancers and schedules are for Trains".The moment I stopped trying to force DS to be on a schedual and just went with the flow it got SO MUCH EASIER. But it was hard for that first month I was tired and ready to give up more than once.
Is it true?
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