Weight Loss Support - NOT a good bathing suit adventure

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07-21-2009, 07:19 PM
Okay, so I have lost 20 lbs. But I LOOK HIDEOUS STILL in a bathing suit! I was mortified! My legs (thighs) are absolutely disgusting!!!!

My Jillian Michaels DVD came in today, but I am not sure even SHE can help this.

Unfortunately, I took my girls shopping with me for help and well, they were painfully honest. I was so hoping to find something that would make me look decent :(

07-21-2009, 07:37 PM
Gosh, what negative talk.

You're disappointed in how you look - OK. But what is calling yourself those horrible things accomplishing, really? Hideous and disgusting...is that any way to talk about yourself?

You're here because you're working on improving yourself, and you've already done that, to the tune of 20 pounds! You can't do anything more than what you're doing right now, so why beat up on yourself?

The way to motivate yourself to make change isn't to call yourself names...it's to realize that taking care of yourself and your body is the ultimate way to show that you respect and love yourself.

07-21-2009, 08:04 PM
i find that hard to belive im an inch taller than you and im arround 222 lbs and i found the bathingsuit of my dreams it took some hard work and determination but i did it and im sure so can you ..... your 146 im sure you look pretty nice in a bathingsuit dont beat yourself up thats not going to help your self esteem

07-21-2009, 08:05 PM
hugs! I think my thighs look hideous in a bathing suit too. I do agree though. We are here to work on ourselves. Don't beat yourself up. Plus the lighting in those dressing rooms!

big hugs again. Just let that motivate you to change your body more! Not to perfection but to health.

oh let me recommend a bathing suit with a sarong! They are so sexy and really help if you feel self conscious about your butt or thighs.

07-21-2009, 08:07 PM
I'm sure there's a bathing suit out there that will compliment you. Try some of the Plus-Size stores, Jc Penny's, or even Wal-Mart or Target.

Good luck with your search! ;)

07-21-2009, 08:52 PM
I wanted to say good luck on your bathing suit search!

I have a suit I love! :)

I was a bit concerned with the negativity in your post as well... how old are your daughters? I hope you don't put yourself down like that in front of them... Kids pick up their body image attitudes from their parents... I know I picked up a lot of my mom's negative self talk and yo-yo dieting as she include myself and my lil sis in her summer diets every year starting in Middle school- I also would listen to her put down her body as well... It is something you might want to watch if you do it. You might not even realize it-

My 5 year old nephew started calling himself fat after hearing my sister talking about herself like that in front of him... that just made me sad. :(

07-21-2009, 09:01 PM
The way to motivate yourself to make change isn't to call yourself names...it's to realize that taking care of yourself and your body is the ultimate way to show that you respect and love yourself.

I really like that Amanda. Wise words.

07-21-2009, 09:15 PM
I agree with mandalinn completely.
As for my 2 cents, I think you should go shopping again, on a day where you feel good (after working out perhaps), with self-tanner if you're ok with that to counter the effects of those horrible dressing room lights and go for styles that will compliment your body, and pick ones in your favorite colors!! I would also either go alone or with someone who's very supportive. You have to love yourself and your body (at least most of it!) as its shrinking, not just when it hits goal.

07-21-2009, 09:22 PM
Oh, Niecy, I can totally relate to how you feel.

I hadn't owned a bathing suit in years, but I finally went shopping for one in the spring. I took only my closest girlfriend with me and made her promise to be honest about how things looked (I have no objectivity about my own body). It took a bit of doing, but I found a suit that I love and that looks good on me. For me, I knew I could trust her to tell me the truth - so when she said that a suit looked good, I believed her. :D

Next week, I am going to the beach with my husband, that friend and her bf, and I am so excited. Last summer, I would only have been found dead on a beach.

Peace, Heather

07-21-2009, 09:37 PM
At 146 you might be too small for Lane Bryant, but if you're not, they have some nice swim dresses that don't look old ladyish like most skirted suits. I love mine; I think it's the only thing that's ever made my butt look cute!

07-21-2009, 09:48 PM
Okay Niecy -- we are the same weight and I am 4 inches shorter, so I just don't believe you could look that bad in a bathing suit. Of course, fitting room lights are terrible and you never look the same at the store as you will by the pool. I am also a firm believer that a bit of a tan makes everyone look better!

When I work out, I've taken to wearing running skirts and tank tops. So when I ventured out bathing suit shopping, I ended up finding a tank top and skirt suit. My mom says I look like I am heading out to play tennis. But I feel great in the suit and don't even feel the need to cover up when walking around.

I promise -- there really is a suit out there for everyone once you figure out your preferred style!

07-21-2009, 10:30 PM
Sorry y'all for the negativity. I just thought by NOW that surely there is a swimsuit to make me feel less self-conscious. But that cellulite was BLAZING in those lights, lol. We go to the beach in about 2.5 weeks so I am going to tan some out in the pool before then.

I looked online this past weekend and found one from Dillards that I liked. It is a retro type that is a full suit, but with the halter straps, like the pinup style. I was okay while trying it on until the 14 yr. old piped in. Then my 8 yr. old joined her and it was downhill from there. Now I see why my 14 yr. old hates herself!! She was very hard on me. I have not talked about myself like that in a while (since people started calling us twins about 2 yrs ago, because I knew if I put myself down, and she looks just like me what will she think of herself) so I am not sure where it came from.

I do have an AWESOME bathing suit that I bought on ebay but my 14 yr. old tried it on and ripped it in two places. It is boned and everything, from the 40's with sewn on pearls. SOOO cute, but I think now destroyed. It does fit, a tad bit tight but possibly with 5 more lbs will be very well suited for me. I will see what I can do with it.

In the meantime, I went to Belk and found one that I liked (although not as crazy about as the actual vintage one that I have) in that same retro style, but the skirted part is a little longer and there is lots of ruching.

Again, sorry for this. I admit, I was acting rather teenager-ish. I have been so upbeat the past few months.

I will say this though....just for the heck of it, I tried on some jeans just to see where I am. I am in a size SIX jeans and I bought them (on sale, haha)! I was still walking around in 10's. No wonder people couldn't tell I've lost.

07-21-2009, 11:26 PM
We were talking on another bathing suit thread about wearing guy's board shorts (I don't like my thighs either).
I haven't actually looked for any yet though. I haven't worn a swimsuit yet this summer :(

My husband always reminds me that I look better than most people out there in swim suits anyway-haha!

Good luck and best wishes :)

07-21-2009, 11:40 PM
You could just wear a T-shirt while you swim. It might not be the most "popular" thing to do but on the plus side, you will have better skin for longer because you won't be exposed to all of the UVA/UVB rays that everyone else is getting. In the long run, you might just be the most beautiful of the all.

-Isn't is sad when we sometimes we give up what we really want for what we want right now--Random quote I heard when I was younger :)

07-21-2009, 11:46 PM
We were talking on another bathing suit thread about wearing guy's board shorts (I don't like my thighs either).

I think women look sexy in guys board shorts. :( I don't fit into them yet. My dream goal weight swim wear is a billabong cap sleeved rashguard and some mens board shorts

07-21-2009, 11:57 PM
The board shorts and tshirt ideas are good. I was just hoping to not have to cover up so much this year at the beach because I just think everyone will think or know I am hiding. I could always do one of those pintucked terry cover-up dresses that fall a little above the knee with some flip-flops.

I gotta stop paying attention to what I think everyone else is thinking though! Why is it becoming such an issue now? 20 lbs ago sure, I knew I was overweight and I knew everyone else knew it. The less important (and I mean less important than being overweight) things are suddenly starting to bother me more. I guess I am also seeing the effects of "letting myself go" with the cellulite on my legs and loose skin on my tummy and I am getting angry and frustrated with myself.

07-22-2009, 12:05 AM
If loose skin is an issue try doing more weight lifting/toning exerises

07-22-2009, 02:05 AM
I can relate with the loose skin/letting myself go/frustration part.
I have been dwelling on this a bit to much lately and I just have to realize and make peace with the fact that losing weight will not make me 23 again. I will never know how my body would have developed had I not gained weight. It is possible that my body might not have turned out perfect anyway.

I also try to keep in mind that I never felt overwhelming joy at my thighs while swimsuit shopping back when I was yound and thin. -helps to keep things in perspective.

plus style
07-22-2009, 08:05 AM
Bravo on your weight loss! Do not beat yourself up over the way you look in a bathing suit - few people on this planet look like Sports Illustrated swimsuit models.

Focus instead on the fabulous things you can do in a swimsuit - ride the ocean waves, enjoy a water slide with your kids, swim a few laps in the pool -all of these things cool you off - relax you and burns calories at the same time :)

If you thighs are your issue - look for styles like swimdresses, skirtinis and joggers that cover your problem area but still offer you the ability to enjoy the water and the sunshine. Find a swimsuit that focuses on your favorite part of your new body - cleavage - waist - etc... or a least a color that you love. Look for features like control panels and bust support that will help you create the shape you desire. Try AlwaysForMe.com for a great selection of women's swimsuits - I love the Always For Me Chic Swim mini. It has bust support, removeable halter strap - for tanning, short kicky skirt to cover the top of the thighs.

07-22-2009, 09:36 AM
I have very similar stats to yourself and im due to go on holiday in just over a month, im also dreading the whole bikini thing, and its also my thighs, as its so hard to cover them, a belly can be slimmed down with a tankini or full swimsuit, but ive not really seen anything to cover the thigh area, they short styles make me look even bigger, and they dont sell those little bikini skirt things anymore.
But Ive been heavier than i am now, gone on holiday and realised actuay its not full of bikini models just normal women, and once you get a tan you feel much better and i think it hides cellulite (which shop changing rooms seem to enhance), so maybe start now with the fake tan/sunbeds.
The thinner you get the more critical you seem to get, i still wasnt happy when i was at my lowest weight of 122 lbs but looking back at the photos i now realise i was being overly self conscious.

07-22-2009, 10:09 AM
I hate so hate to give motherly advice 'cause I know how kids can be having 3 of my own. But, imho, I really think you should ask your dd why she felt the need to be so hurtful to you. She then set the example for her little sister to do the same thing. I really believe a life lesson could come out of this for her.

07-22-2009, 12:52 PM
Does the store allow you to return a purchased bathing suit? (If you leave the protective crotch strip in place, all tags attached, etc.). - I am asking because I often find the lighting in fitting rooms to be absolutely horrendous and sometimes I am surprised I actually do end up purchasing anything at all. How about if you try the suit on at home, in natural light? I bet your cellulite will not show as much.
But really, I don't see why at your weight you would need to swim in a Tshirt and in board shorts. Just go and jump in the water and have some fun! Who cares if there is a bit of cellulite on your thighs - it's not like you would be the only one (even if you DO have cellulite). Live a little!

07-22-2009, 01:24 PM
Thanks everyone for the advice :hug:

After letting the bathing suit sit in my closet all night, I tried it on this morning and it doesn't look quite as bad as in the store. Definitely still not where I need to be but not near as bad. The ruched skirted part keeps riding up so I think I might try to do some stitching so it will stay in place.

I think I still see a fat person in the mirror. I can't differentiate the old me from the new me. It has taken me since May to get here, so while it has been 2 months with an average loss of 10 lbs a month (very good stats, I think), I also think it is taking even longer for my brain to catch up with the changes.

I said in the beginning I wouldn't dwell on my stomach because I have had 3 children. But I am learning it is harder said than done.

My daughter is almost or right at 5'4" and weighs about 102 lbs so ANYBODY is fat to her, I guess. I took a bra away from her the other day (a padded 36A, which SOOOO NOT her size). It looked absolutely ridiculous because like me, she has no boobs. She was extremely angry with me, but I don't care. It looked like she had stuffed her bra to oblivion. I think it was an opportunity for her to get back at me. My husband had a talk with her and asked why she would be so rude and she said "because I wasn't gonna lie and say it looked good". She has hit this stage where she is rude to almost everyone she comes in contact with and ESPECIALLY if she is holding a grudge.

I am about to try and get some sun! Between working up my calorie counts, workouts and now tanning, I have a full plate just for myself. It's a weird feeling, but I kind of like it.

07-22-2009, 01:46 PM
My daughter is almost or right at 5'4" and weighs about 102 lbs so ANYBODY is fat to her, I guess. I took a bra away from her the other day (a padded 36A, which SOOOO NOT her size). It looked absolutely ridiculous because like me, she has no boobs. She was extremely angry with me, but I don't care. It looked like she had stuffed her bra to oblivion.

All body types are different, so who knows. But it seem pretty unlikely that at 5'4" and 104# she really has a 36 band. The band size has NOTHING to do with breast size. It's just the measurement under the breasts. She probably needs a 32 or less. If it's a mental thing with her (wanting to have a bra in a larger size), she might not realize that the number (36) isn't a measure of breast size, just ribcage. And at a lower band size, she *will* need a larger cup than she did at 36.

Cali Doll
07-22-2009, 02:33 PM
The thinner you get the more critical you seem to get

This is so true! I wonder why that is??? I bought a red bikini from VS and I tried it on and almost gasped. LOL! I don't look ANYTHING like I thought I'd look. I can't imagine ever being able to wear that thing in public. :P

I don't want to wear my standard black swimsuit either but 35 pounds ago, I had no real issues with it.

It's just so funny to me. The more you lose, the more you want.

07-22-2009, 06:47 PM
Julie, you are right, she is definitely not a 36 band. I am pretty sure she is not even an A cup. She is still needing to be in training type bras. I don't mind if she gets one of those with a little padding, but a women's bra with padding is very different looking than a teen bra with padding.

We went through this when she was 12 or 13 with the whole boob thing and stuffing the bra. Maybe I was different, but I was her size as a teen and never felt inclined to do that.

The 36 band fit her because she was TYING the band in the back! How uncomfortable! So glad I am not a teen anymore.

Cali Doll, that is pretty much what I am going through. I don't think I will ever be able to wear a bikini in public.

07-22-2009, 07:50 PM
The 36 band fit her because she was TYING the band in the back! How uncomfortable! So glad I am not a teen anymore.

LOL, no kidding, me too!