Weight Loss Support - Excuses Excuses...someone shut me up

07-21-2009, 06:44 AM
Hey all. Just thought I'd write and try to get some help. A month ago I was all motivated to lose weight. I'm so tired of having a tire around me. Here it is July, and nada. Still fat. No exercising. Back to old eating habits of not eating.

I find myself making excuse after excuse to keep from going to the gym or from eating right. I don't have a clue on how to count calories, never had to in my life. Don't have a clue on how to exercise. Never had to do that either. I tried walking at the gym for 30 mins. Did good doing that. But to get myself moving is just a pain. I would rather sleep. Always so tired that it's hard to get up just to take the dogs outside. I am honestly at a loss on how to get motivated enough to do something. Anything! I have what most people would steal from a baby to get. Free, yes FREE, gym membership. Don't have to pay a bloody dime. And do I make use of it? Nope. I don't. And it's free! What is so wrong with me that I can't even go to a gym that is FREE?!

I have a great reason to want to lose weight. My husband said that I can get a reverse tubal ligation and have another baby. (It would be my first with him.) But I don't want to go through pregnancy fat. Been there done that. Waaaayyyyy too many problems last go around. I want the cute baby bump not the "Do I ask if she's pregnant? Can't really tell she's so fat. I'll just shut up so I don't embarass either one of us."

I know I'm whining. I'm just lost and don't really know what to do at this point. I feel like I need someone standing over me telling me what to do at all times. I just don't have that will power to make myself do what I need to do.

Thanx for any comments. Tough love or kindness lol. I'll take both at this point.

Thanx all:-)


Iconised Ghost
07-21-2009, 07:10 AM
:hug: It IS hard. But if you want to get to your goal, you gotta keep going ;) Thats what it basically boils down to. You have done absolutely fine losing 13 pounds in a month. Thats a pretty good rate of loss, so congrats :D

Do you want to count calories? If you do, its pretty easy. I would start out with counting what you have in a normal day and just logging it on something, either paper or on your computer or online. I like to do it online because I can look up things when i dont know what they have in them, and then i dont have to worry about remembering all these numbers, i only have to remember what i ate. I use www.thedailyplate.com. Its very easy :) After a while you get a feel for what is high and what is low, what are sneaky calorie packed foods (like sneaky little biscuits, grr) and what are good low calorie foods that keep you going (like things full of protein :) )

Why are you so tired? Do you work long hours or a night shift? Or is it just a general feeling of fatigue? I find that when my eating is healthy, i have more energy and feel a lot better, and when my eating goes down hill so do my energy levels. And then my exercise gets less frequent, and i eat worse and my energy gets worse so i exercise even less...its a vicious cycle.

Even if you feel fat still, you have actually done really well. It would be a shame to quit now. Its hard, but its worth it :hug:

07-21-2009, 07:20 AM
I work a swing shift so my hours are all over the place. Right now I'm working a night shift so when I get home I'll crash. It's just a general fatigue. Lack of motivation. I'm recovering from depression (four year binge after the loss of my two kids) and I really think it's kind of a hanger on type symptom thing. I've improved drastically. I'm actually working now, leaving my house...small things that others take for granted I didn't do for four years.

I can't go on meds to get me the rest of the feel happy thing going so I'm having to wing it. Harder than one would think it is. Thank you for the website. I'll take a look at it and see if I can get going that way.


Iconised Ghost
07-21-2009, 07:27 AM
Sorry about your kids :(
Maybe since you need to take small steps you could just focus on taking the dogs out a few times a week for a 30 min walk? Exercise is good for combating depression if you can get going, I cant imagine how hard it would be to lose your children but it might help take the edge off on tough days. Can your husband help you? Like go on walks with the dogs with you, or go with you to the gym. I know some people on here have "gym dates" with their spouses now which they really enjoy :D

07-21-2009, 07:31 AM
Rather than waiting for motivation to show up (and even when it does show up, it can waver sometimes) make a commitment instead. Make a commitment to get up at a certain time and walk the dogs. Even if you have to have a cup of coffee with you and you are walking with only one eye open because you are so tired.

Make a commitment to spend 45 minutes (after you've walked the dogs or gone to the gym) on the dailyplate, or sparkpeople to get set up, learn about calorie counting, plan some meals and get started.

Make a commitment to clean all the junk/unhealthy food out of your house and restock your fridge and pantry with healthy easy to cook things.

Make a commitment every morning before you get out of bed that you will do the things that will lead you to what you want.

Do not wait for will power or motivation or inspiration or to feel like it, just do it.

07-21-2009, 08:27 AM
Oh yes I agree with seagirl!

I don't often feel motivated unless something big happens (event to go to, want to go shopping etc.). If there's chocolate around, I EAT it, weight loss be damned. Solution? Just don't put yourself in situations that you will not be able to control. Get the junk food out of the house, lay out your gym clothes the night before, make sure you get enough sleep.
It's WORK somedays, and somedays it's just an automatic habit.

07-21-2009, 09:31 AM
seagirl literally took the words out of my fingers!! COMMITMENT can trump MOTIVATION!

I will add this, if you are overwhelmed by all of this, give yourself time to ramp up. As seagirl said, start by taking a day or two to learn about calorie counting (and check out our calorie counting forum). Then just track what you're eating for a day or two. Then take stock and see what you can cut...

Same with exercise. Right now you just need to get moving. Make a commitment this week that's not that too overwhelming -- maybe 15 min six days a week. Then ramp it up. For now, just walking is great. Then take some time to learn about other ways of moving. Sometimes finding something you really LOVE to do can really help with the motivation.

I've been at this four years, and I still don't like thinking about doing exercise. But it actually helps my energy level and my mood a lot! So I make a commitment to exercise and then just do it.

Bottom line, while this can be overwhelming, getting started isn't hard. Just get moving! Just do your best to track your food! Don't sweat the details right now!

And of course, keep coming back here!!

07-21-2009, 09:43 AM
I'll tell you what I notice almost immediately helps me with my moods/motivation and depression -- eating clean. I swear, all that sugar, salt and fat just makes me sooo tired (I can't literally clock going to be earlier, waking up later, its physically harder to get back into exercise).

You don't have to do everything at once, but why don't you set some small goals? Cut out the crap and allow yourself one cheat day a week. Or commit to walking 30 minutes each day around the block if you don't want to go to the gym.

It can be really tough to find motivation. But since you're still trying to find some to get going, the only thing I can suggest -- to paraphrase what one wise chickie told me months ago -- is fake it til you make it.

You'll have to commit to pushing yourself into this at first, but I don't think it will be long before you see and feel benefits. I believe the bad food does play a factor in how tired you feel and once you look at it that way, it hardly seems as pleasurable as before. Good luck! :hug:

07-21-2009, 10:55 AM
I'm sorry to hear about your kids :(

All I can say is start slowly. First stop buying any junk for the house, once it's gone, it's gone and don't buy it again.

Then start eating healthier, if you don't cook often get some cookbooks with easy and healthy recipes and try them out with hubby. Then from there once you feel you have some control with eating and tracking move on to some light exercise and so on. Small changes make them last longer than a bunch of quick changes. I found everytime I went all out one mistake would make me quit. I've learned now it took me years to get to 235 and it's going to take me some time to get down to a healthy weight.

Good luck.

07-21-2009, 11:05 AM
Just remember why you are taking this journey and that only YOU control what YOU do and if you succeed or fail. You can do this and we are here supporting you whenever you need. Believe in yourself and never give up on yourself :hug:

07-21-2009, 11:14 AM
I can really relate, so what I'm writing is for me, and perhaps this will help others. I often find myself making excuses and waiting for motivation. I then try to remind myself that waiting for motivation is just another excuse! I'm waiting for a switch to flip inside of me without me trying - that's never going to happen because changing a lifelong habit requires effort.
It all comes down to priorities. While I don't always see it, my subconscious priority is to comfort myself with food or sleep, to stay in what seems to be the "safety zone" of doing what I know (which means to stay home and do what I've always done).
I can make a conscious decision to make better physical health a priority. That will indeed require doing things that I'm not used to doing and it will require overriding my subconscious impulses to reach for food and sleep. This is where the commitment that other posters talk about comes in. Often, committment has seemed like something I just couldn't do. I thought this was just low self esteem, but it is just another aspect of my subconscious efforts to keep myself from trying new things. If I don't believe I can commit to something, then I don't have to try, right? ;)
Sometimes, when I wish for motivation, what I'm really wanting is a good REASON to change my habits. I have coped with depression for a long time and on my bad days, I could find no reason to improve my health or my life. On my better days, I don't let myself wait for a reason, or motivation, I tell myself that "this is what I'm going to do right now for no reason but to do it". I don't allow myself to argue with myself about why, I just need to do it.

I, too, had disturbingly low energy. Many factors could be involved here, but I found it helpful to be more curious about why I had low energy so I could try a few things "just for a week" to see if there was improvement. Aside from getting more sleep,for example, I tried having a lot of fruit available to eat whenever I would normally go for bready things. I also tried increasing my iron intake, which actually made a HUGE difference for me after just 3 days. Four-five days of 20 minutes of exercise, and lowering my caffeine intake also helped. If you can, visit your doctor and have your blood drawn and analyzed. There might be some other reasons for your really low energy.

Take sweet care of yourself.

07-21-2009, 06:34 PM
I've had an amazing amount of success getting back on track and originally getting rolling with this. Maybe it will work for you.

Give yourself one point per day if:
1. Accountability: record your food somewhere...food journal, on one of the boards, whereever it will hold you accountable to write it down. It doesn't have to be super detailed. Just a place where you can plan and document what it is you ate, good, bad and indifferent.
2. Exercise: Any exercise...walk around the block, march in place during commercials, anything. You are trying to establish the thought process that you need to get it in at some point. Again, don't worry about how much, etc., just do something.
3. Water: Increase your water consumption. If you aren't drinking any, add a glass before each meal. If you are drinking it already, cool, easy point.
4. Me time: Take 15 min to do something just for you. Read, journal, whatever is a 'treat' for you.
5. Good/Better/Best Choice: Make one good/better/best choice per day. Skip a treat, count out the chips instead of eating from the bag, leave a bite or 2 behind. Only need one per day.

You can set a reward for days in a row with 5 points or I use a weekly total of 30+ points a week for a reward threshold. Find a meaningful non-food reward and give it to yourself when you get the job done. You'll likely get to a point where one or more of these is too easy and then you can start raising the bar for yourself gradually. Make the exercise goal a certain number of minutes...got the water? Change it out to fruit/veggie servings.


07-21-2009, 06:42 PM
One simple sentence I say to myself when I'm "too tired" to exercise:

Has crashing on the couch ever made you feel less tired?

07-21-2009, 08:58 PM
Great advice thus far. I have nothing to add but :hug: and best wishes. :)