Weight Loss Support - Food Withdraw: This chick is a brat




Reddalice
07-20-2009, 03:24 PM
The other day on the way home from a friend's house I wanted ice cream. There isn't money to be frivolous and I've gained thee pounds, I asked for support in curbing my spending and eating habits, and... I got it. My girlfriend told me no. All she said was No and I felt like I had been slapped. For the rest of the night I behaved like a spoiled child. I would guilt trip her then apologize for it, feeling like an *ss. I couldn't sleep and nothing could placate me. She is more patient then I am, but at one point she said... "If ice cream will make you HAPPY... and that is ALL it takes to MAKE YOU HAPPY... then why can't I just give you the ice cream if it will fix this problem?" I know food won't make me happy long term. After a couple of hours, I felt more sane and I didn't want ice cream. A matter-of-fact I felt like I was behaving like someone who couldn't have a fix and was sort of embarrassed.

Out of this mass act of brattiness, I gave up junk food for a week. My eating has been so out of control, I really feel like if I can mass practice self control that ir will put me on the right track of will power. So far incidents have been minimal and it is as if the less sugar I eat the less I crave it. I've also made it my responsibility to say no, not my girlfriends, so there won't be any misplaced sh*t-headedness.


beautifulone
07-20-2009, 03:31 PM
A matter-of-fact I felt like I was behaving like someone who couldn't have a fix and was sort of embarrassed.

:yes: I understand, I've felt that way before.

I broke-up with chocolate (and other sweets/unhealthy food) for that very reason. Once I stop having it, I stop craving it. Now I'm at the point where I simply don't crave it. Mentally I remember that I liked the taste when I ate it, but my body isn't hinged on it, and that's such a positive step. Actually, it's quite a relief too.

Good for you for making yourself responsible :)

SunshineCA
07-20-2009, 03:38 PM
Glad you overcame your brattiness and was able to understand it for what it is. :) Sending NO JUNK FOOD dust your way! :dust:


Reddalice
07-20-2009, 06:02 PM
I don't want to think of myself as someone who 'just can't have <insert something here>', but maybe I am. That's not the first time or the WORST time I have behaved that way over ice cream (I'm actually near always like that with icecream). I wonder if its better just not to have it if I can't be kind about it...

mandalinn82
07-20-2009, 06:18 PM
You may want to try cutting it out for a while. It may not be a forever thing, but right now, you have a little bit of an unhealthy relationship with ice cream, and it might do you well to take a break.

However, this:
My girlfriend told me no.

Would bring out my inner brat, too. I have to be really careful with this, as I also have a wife who sometimes asks me to help her stay on plan and I ask her to do the same, and then one of us wants something that is off of that plan. But I never, ever say no. My response is "Of course you can have ice cream if you really want it, but remember that you asked me to help you stay on plan/keep your spending down, so you should consider that before going ahead".

The mental difference between "no, you can't!" and "think about what you asked before" is huge, for me. "No" is being treated like a child (which makes me REACT like a child). "Think about it" makes me feel like an adult, and I typically react with an adult decision. My wife is the same way..."No" is a challenge, "Think" is a reminder. So you may want to think about whether your girlfriend could give you a more subtle, less challenging mode of support.

Stella
07-20-2009, 06:30 PM
I agree with Mandalinn. "No" makes me defensive, while reasoning does not. In any case, I need to feel that I am in charge, and not someone else - other wise I can get incredibly bratty! :-)

On the other hand, appealing to my maturity and non-brattiness does strike a cord in me, as I do not want to be immature and childish. Thank you for the reminder. I have reacted similarly in similar situations, but bratty it is indeed! :-)

Stella

JayEll
07-20-2009, 07:06 PM
This is why I leave other people out of my food stuff. :chin: It's not fair to anyone.

Jay

thinpossible
07-20-2009, 08:16 PM
The perceived need for sugar/junk can be very strong. I have definitely had my share of pouting over not getting what I wanted when I wanted it. And your comparison to not getting a fix is spot on, because IMO, that stuff is very, very much like a drug. You might want to consider giving it up altogether. I did, and although detox was tough, I've no longer feel like a slave to food. Free at last.

dcapulet
07-20-2009, 08:20 PM
I agree with Mandalinn. "No" makes me defensive, while reasoning does not. In any case, I need to feel that I am in charge, and not someone else - other wise I can get incredibly bratty! :-)

On the other hand, appealing to my maturity and non-brattiness does strike a cord in me, as I do not want to be immature and childish. Thank you for the reminder. I have reacted similarly in similar situations, but bratty it is indeed! :-)

Stella

i could not agree more. even if i ask him to, hearing my husband tell me no about food infuriates me.

jendiet
07-20-2009, 10:16 PM
yeah. NO would set me off too. I like the reasoning better.

kaplods
07-20-2009, 10:55 PM
My husband and I share this challenge, also. Reminding each other of our committments without being critical or risking appearing critical is truly an enviable skill. An art, really and neither of us have mastered the art completely. We're getting better at it, but occasionally it still backfires on one or both of us.

aneleh
07-21-2009, 08:38 AM
Bahaha I threw a mini tantrum in a grocery store with my bf when I was giving up sugar once. It was like: Can I have this?? And he would say no, then I would stomp and sulk to another aisle.

Sugar makes some people do weird things..

dragonwoman64
07-21-2009, 11:10 AM
oh, boy, I laughed with red cheeks when I read this thread. Yes, I've been bratty like that with food. you are not alone.

The mental difference between "no, you can't!" and "think about what you asked before" is huge, for me. "No" is being treated like a child (which makes me REACT like a child). "Think about it" makes me feel like an adult, and I typically react with an adult decision.

yes, great way to approach it. bf tends to say, go ahead and eat it if you want it. which actually for me is not the best way to handle it (because I do). it's what I want to hear on one level, but not what I need to hear. I'm going to share this with him.

mayness
07-21-2009, 11:29 AM
I've thrown a tantrum after telling MYSELF no! I remember picking up a box of chocolate-covered-marshmallows in the grocery store (whose evil idea was that?), then making myself put it back, and pretty much throwing them back on the shelf and grumbling and pouting down to the next aisle. In fact, I don't care how long I've been at this, I STILL pick up at least a few items of junk food at the store before realizing I have to put them back. I've cried over ice cream and cookies and muffins before.

So, yeah, I feel you. :) Congrats on cutting down the junk so far! Sounds like this will help you get back on track.

Lori Bell
07-21-2009, 02:11 PM
Yep, some things just can't be in our lives anymore. It sucks, but it is what it is. I know I can NEVER have a cigarette again. I also know I can never have a Crown Royal and diet coke again, but for some reason sugar...my first true love/addiction has been the hardest to say goodbye to. I have finally realized that if I want to keep off this weight and not go back to super-morbidly obesity (and near death) it has to be over. There is no moderation in my case. *maybe* ahem, you will be different. I doubt it though, it's a tough call.

ladyrider72472
07-21-2009, 03:02 PM
I guess it comes down to do you want to be healthier/skinnier or do you want _________. Like Lori Bell, I tend to have to give it up totally. I am an all or nothing person with an addictive personality. I only realized this about a year ago. I thought I was in control, but in reality, I allowed food to control so much of my thoughts-- so, really the food was really in control..... and I didn't like that (being an Alpha female). I am not perfect, but I am getting better.

Stella
07-21-2009, 06:24 PM
I guess it comes down to do you want to be healthier/skinnier or do you want _________. .

Agreed! Although sometimes, I`ll still want the latter these instances are becoming less.

As I lose weight it becomes an even stronger: "Would you rather have _____ and be fat again or would you rather just leave it and continue to lose? Is the short term pleasure of __________ worth the long term unhappiness of being overweight?"