[just_a_dreamy1]

After 24 days/nights of no bingeing, I had a very bad night. It turned into 2 nights...and then 3. I want and need it to stop.

I always find the first night after a binge REALLY hard. Especially since I'm living alone now All 3 days leading up to the binges have been good...I ate well, I drank my water...but then in the afternoon, I would start thinking about it, and as soon as I was off work, I stocked up, went home and got started. I can feel myself slipping into the excuses as to why I could do it one more night right now.

I know that having company over would help. BUT...I feel like crap from my crappy 3 nights, and I don't really feel like trying to be social. What I really want to do is tear my apartment apart and clean it to try to help deal with some emotional turmoil...alone. BUT...being in my apartment is dangerous, because that's where I binge.

I've gotten through day 1 before. I just can't remember how

Any suggestions you could offer to get me through this would be greatly appreciated!

[avamarie1987]

Nights are the hardest for me to control that "I just want something in my mouth" feeling. So I totally understand where you're coming from.

I've been cleaning like a mad woman the last few days since I'm PMSing and wanting to eat everything in sight. So I think cleaning is a really good distraction.

Also, I like to try to pamper myself with stuff other than unneeded calories. For me, this means grabbing a book, putting on pajamas, and reading in bed.

Good luck!

[jendiet]

I would recommend putting something in your kitchen that would remind you not to binge. I have a printout of my avg weight log and caloric intake from when I weighed 160 lbs.

every time I go in the kitchen I see it and connect binging=weight gain.

Hugs to you. I think you are lonely. Is there any hobby you like to do? Maybe something decorative that you can display in your new home?

[seagirl]

Can you call it day 25, so that you don't have all pressure of "day 1" ? Then you can say, "well I got through the 24 days, and I know what to do on day 25 as well."

[just_a_dreamy1]

Thank you for your responses, ladies! And for the hugs. I really needed that.

Ava - It helps to know that I'm not alone.
Not only is cleaning a good distraction...I've noticed that having a tidy house helps me stay on track.
I love the idea of reading a book in bed...except my couch is more comfy then my bed, so that's where I would read I need to pick up a good book!
I noticed that you started your WL journey in Febuary, and you've already reached maintenance. Is that correct?
Congratulations on reaching your July goal!!

Jen - I'll need to do some thinking about what to post up in the kitchen. I made the difficult discovery a few days ago that even at my lowest weight, I was really insecure about how I looked. So maybe a picture of the old me wouldn't be such a good idea.
Two hobbies that I used to love and haven't really done in a long time are writing and photography. I've been thinking of getting a neck strap for my camera and just walking around town and taking pictures of anything that catches my eye. I have some photos that I really love, so I could frame and hang those.
Congratulations on reaching mini goal 1!

seagirl - I love that idea! Seriously, that is genius! And in order to not feel like I'm cheating, I'll add a line to my signature that says, "Began July 14 - Day 25." It will also show me how many good days I've had in relation to the bad days - a lot more!
Thank you!!
P.S. I love the title of your blog...I'm going to check it out now

[Madison]

Penelope I totally understand sweety. I am living on my own for the first time . . . well I think this is the first time EVER in my life.

I also like seagirl dont think of Day 1 ever . . . this is just my life . . .there is no start, no finish, no end when I call "goal" I am just living my life to the best of my ability

Night time alone in my flat is also my danger time.

On Friday night I came home from work after a horrible afternoon - one of the partners did her best to bully me and intimidate me into not telling the other partners about her going out for a 3hr lunch and getting drunk. Now, i am usually incredibly strong willed and not phased by things like this, but I was REALLY mad and shaken that she would do that. I was getting so much work done on Friday and feeling really good and then this drunken old cow waltzes into my office with that rubbish.

All the way home I thought about ordering in a pizza. Which I would inhale on my own.

Instead, as I turned the key and entered my house I decided I would log on before I did anything else (despite the fact that I was also STARVING by this point) and sent of an email to a friend to get out what happened.

I then admittedly had to send emails to about 6 other people until I felt better - ha!!!!!!!!!!!!

But although I am STILL anxious and mad particulalrly as I have to see the drunken twit at work tmro, I have had a stellar weekend on the eats.

FEELING the anxiety is both harder and easier than eating.

The pain that you normally wouldnt feel bcos you were full of food does suck. To face these issues head on IS hard . . . but . . . dealing with life head on means that the pain is over much quicker. Like ripping off the bandaid in one go

I know that had I filled myself with chips, pastries, pizza etc this weekend I would be feeling far worse than just anxious at seeing that woman at work on Monday.

You can do it. We all will overcome.

Hugs to you.

[just_a_dreamy1]

Thank you, Danni! And ! What a crock about your coworker, but you handled it like a rockstar!

[Madison]

I wish I could have been less grown up and told her what I really thought . . . dammit but sometimes you need to take the high road . . .

[avamarie1987]

Penelope,

Thanks for the congrats! And yes, I started in February and reached my goal in June. Maintenance is a whole other ballgame for me and I'm still trying to get the hang of it!

I'm glad you think reading a book on your comfy couch will be helpful! I love my books so there's no way I'd want to get them messy with food!

Good luck!
Ava

[jendiet]

oh sweetie, photography would really be an awesome thing to get you out of the house and away from the kitchen plus you are using a God-given talent. What fun. I love photography. I was thinking of becoming a grave photographer. People who are doing genealogy really appreciate it. And you can post pics to www.findagrave.com.

it might seem like grave photography is depressing, but you realize that YOU ARE ALIVE and you should enjoy it while you can. Plus the added plus of helping others.

That would be a great thing for you to do to get into town/city and get moving.

[just_a_dreamy1]

Ava - You must get this question alot, so please forgive me. What did you do (other then your exercise ) to lose the weight?
Who are some of your favorite authors? What are some of your favorite books?

Jen - I never considered grave photographing as an option, and I had no idea that it could help people. Cool!

[carol flo]

every night is a challenge for me to - it's like a monster invades my brain and all I want to do it EAT - I have been binge free since thursday - 5 days and the scale has been inching down. I just try and visualize how awful I feel when we are invited to a party and I have nothing to wear - when I am embarresed to see people because they will think I am so overweight - thinks of all the negatives about being overweight ant the moment will pass -
I am trying to make it 1 week - you can do it!!!

[avamarie1987]

Originally Posted by just_a_dreamy1

Ava - You must get this question alot, so please forgive me. What did you do (other then your exercise ) to lose the weight?
Who are some of your favorite authors? What are some of your favorite books?

Jen - I never considered grave photographing as an option, and I had no idea that it could help people. Cool!

I counted calories to lose the weight and am continuing to do so during maintenance! It's just finding the right level that I'm still working on.

For exercise... I mainly did the elliptical and some weight training during losing. Towards the end I began running and working my way up to longer distances.

My FAVORITE author of all time is Jodi Picoult. Love her! Read My Sister's Keeper if you haven't yet! I also recommend Plain Truth and The Pact by her. I also really like classics like Gone With the Wind and Jane Austen novels.

[just_a_dreamy1]

Carol - Congratulations on 5 days down!! How are you doing?

Ava - I definitely want to read My Sister's Keeper! I think I'm adding a trip to the bookstore to my long to do list this week, because I really need a good book to read during my 7 day stretch of evenings.