100 lb. Club - OT - seriously?!?!




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SwimGirl
07-16-2009, 10:42 PM
I have been doing a lot of thinking about my weight lately, been working on exercising every day, eating better, but just generally feeling pretty crappy about myself. Not a good headspace. Anyways, today me and the bf went for a long walk, then we wandered around our neighbourhood, and for some reason we decided to have pizza for dinner. Probably not the best decision considering how I'm feeling, but we did it anyways... so here comes the GREATEST part, as we were walking into our apt, some stupid teenager yells "you don't need pizza, she's fat enough". That was my first time being yelled at for being fat. It feels pretty terrible, and makes me never want to leave my house again. Ugh. Not good. :( Why are people SO rude?? The bf is being supportive, saying the guys were saying it to him, and that he'll go hunt them down and kick their butt. Calling them punks in a granny car, who are too poor to know what they were saying... it's kind of cute. But still, I don't like that this happened!

So how do you just move on from that? How do you tune that out and keep going?

-Aimee


kiramira
07-16-2009, 10:47 PM
Teens. Showing. Off.
Stupid TEENS. With their teen 'tudes...

You are on the right path. You are moving along. And just get that ol' determination going, you know "I'll SHOW them". Because stopping this journey because some idiot tees who were showing off would be self-destructive.

Time, hon...time...it'll get better.

I remember going for a bike ride at my heaviest, and I was SO proud of myself, and as I turned off the main road, some A$$ in a pickup truck leaned out the window and yelled "WHERE'S THE BIKE SEAT"....And he was old enough to know better...crushing, but look where I am now...

You'll get there...

:hug:

Kira

LitChick
07-16-2009, 10:52 PM
Well, that just sucks, no two ways about it. Unfortunately I have had comments yelled out of cars at me more than once. It hurts, but then I try not to dwell on it, recognize that those individuals are jerks who think it makes them look cool in front of their friends and fat people are an easy target. In my experience it is typically younger men, but I'm sure a lot of people think it, these guys just have the thoughtlessness to voice it and not care that it's a person with feelings who is their target.

I have no real advice to offer, beyond I've been there, and you just have to brush it off and not let them get to you. Karma's a b*, y'know?


Lila Leeds
07-16-2009, 10:54 PM
Something very similar happend to me a couple of days ago. Instead of being really upset I got really angry. (I posted about it in another thread, but I've copied here).

"Something happened yesterday that I want to share. After joining the gym I was walking home, feeling happy about myself, (Yay for me making healthy lifestyle chages etc etc) when a teenage boy rides past on his bike & screams "get out the way ya fat sh*t!". Now normally when something like that happens I go home & cry into a packet of corn chips, not this time.
I came back with a "Get off the footpath, ya f****wit".

I'm classy like that."

I guess my point is we have ALL decided to make positive healthy changes to our lives & NOBODY has the right to disrespect us like that. Don't let it get to you Swimgirl. There are alot of jerks out there, but there are way more people (esp here) that think you are fabulous for starting the weightloss journey.

CandieRae
07-16-2009, 10:58 PM
Oh, I know hurtful. Back when I was in high school, I was over weight but not REALLY over weight. I needed to lose like 25 lbs. I mean I was prolly like 160. I happened to be walking down the road with my friends and some girl yelled out at me "Fat *ss!" Really made me feel like utter crap.

So you just gotta use those hateful words a fuel for your weight loss fire! Use it as motivation to achieve your goals.

CandieRae
07-16-2009, 11:01 PM
"Something happened yesterday that I want to share. After joining the gym I was walking home, feeling happy about myself, (Yay for me making healthy lifestyle chages etc etc) when a teenage boy rides past on his bike & screams "get out the way ya fat sh*t!". Now normally when something like that happens I go home & cry into a packet of corn chips, not this time.
I came back with a "Get off the footpath, ya f****wit".

I'm classy like that."


I love it Lila! I would have totally said the same thing! Maybe not "f*** wit" but prolly something along the lines of "A**hole."

It's good to be the bigger person and brush it off, but sometimes stupid people need to get it right back!

Trazey34
07-16-2009, 11:12 PM
yah, a$$clowns like that don't deserve to win by making us run home, shut the door and cry and eat. No f-ing way pardon my language. WOW I'm so down with the "f-k you" right back LOL you can tell i graduated from the School of Witty Retorts lol

lottie63
07-16-2009, 11:15 PM
I am 29 and I live in a college town LOTS of ignorant frat boys, I feel your pain.

When I tell my friends or fam the things that they have said, they say to me, "How does that not get to you?"

and I tell them, I decided a long time ago that I'm not going to let a complete stranger who will never think of that moment again, have that much power of me and my life. I'mnot going to go home and "Cry into a bag of cornchips" whenthey won't give a second thought to the way that they thought they hurt me. I won't let them. and neither should you, Iknow it's hard, but keep going. you can do this.

Lila Leeds
07-16-2009, 11:25 PM
yah, a$$clowns like that don't deserve to win by making us run home, shut the door and cry and eat. No f-ing way pardon my language. WOW I'm so down with the "f-k you" right back LOL you can tell i graduated from the School of Witty Retorts lol


Yeah, I thought a wry witty comeback would have been lost on them. I don't swear very often, but sometimes in the right context a carefully placed F word is entirely appropriate.

Blackie
07-16-2009, 11:47 PM
You know, those aholes are going to get old one day, or their wife is going to get fat, or they will have an ugly kid. Something will happen in their life one day and some punk kid will make an ugly remark. THEN they will know how it feels. When it happens, they will either remember how they behaved when they were younger and feel bad. Or they won't remember, but guess what........they will feel bad anyway because some punk kid was an ahole to them or a loved one. Karma will get them eventually. Realizing that is what gets me through those types of situations.

My other mental trick to get through those types of things is to imagine that I have a really cool super power. The super power is that I can put a special curse on people so that every time they are a jerk to someone they get a terrible burning and itching in their privates.

Am I a weirdo? Yes :p, but hey, whatever works!!! I always have a good laugh with my super power fantasy and it makes me feel better.

Nori71
07-16-2009, 11:56 PM
Yeah, that sucks. Just brush it off. I think most of us have had rude comments sent our direction related to our weight. They are just out to be rude and hurt anyone they can I bet.

I had a lady downtown Seattle just last night forget to keep her filter between thoughts and words in place. I was simply walking past her and a guy she was with and she says as I pass, "Now I wonder why more people like you cannot dress like you do"??????? I didn't know what she meant at first, and kinda slowed down to be next to her and looked at her with a blank expression I guess. The guy was absolutely not making eye contact with me! Then she went on to say, "That outfit is super flattering on your type of body." She obviously meant it as a compliment, but WOW..."more people like you"... Whatever, I hope she at least felt some of my awkwardness.

junebug41
07-17-2009, 12:14 AM
Ugh! I hate this!

Just yesterday I was jogging in my new neighborhood where I just bought my very first house and some stupid boys (18 or so) drove by and yelled something about how I may as well be walking because I was running so slow... in front of people watering their lawns and everything :(

They really don't need much of a reason to be classless d-bags.

But I dragged my (slow) butt out there today and noticed everyone waving and smiling. I'm sorry they said that. Boys can be so hurtful before they've done anything worthwhile with themselves ;)

junebug41
07-17-2009, 12:16 AM
Yeah, that sucks. Just brush it off. I think most of us have had rude comments sent our direction related to our weight. They are just out to be rude and hurt anyone they can I bet.

I had a lady downtown Seattle just last night forget to keep her filter between thoughts and words in place. I was simply walking past her and a guy she was with and she says as I pass, "Now I wonder why more people like you cannot dress like you do"??????? I didn't know what she meant at first, and kinda slowed down to be next to her and looked at her with a blank expression I guess. The guy was absolutely not making eye contact with me! Then she went on to say, "That outfit is super flattering on your type of body." She obviously meant it as a compliment, but WOW..."more people like you"... Whatever, I hope she at least felt some of my awkwardness.

Eek! I would have stopped, looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand exactly what you mean by that."

I can't believe people.

Windchime
07-17-2009, 12:40 AM
Eek! I would have stopped, looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand exactly what you mean by that."

I can't believe people.

Yeah, or say to her, as if you are bemused, "People like me....?" Perhaps once she is asked to actually spell out what she means, she will have the good grace to be embarrased. I'm guessing that she did mean it to be a compliment, but here's how I think compliments should be done:

"Cute dress!" The end. Nothing else.

Nori71
07-17-2009, 01:27 AM
The end. Nothing else.
Exactly!
In all honesty, I was so stunned...not because I'm walking around delusional and think I don't appear to be an overweight woman...but I couldn't think straight in the moment. I did notice that I was dressed WAY better than she was and saying something mean crossed my mind...but then in the same second I knew she didn't mean it as an insult.:dizzy:

cfmama
07-17-2009, 02:51 AM
I am sorry that happened to you :( Some people don't realize that they JUST DON'T NEED TO SAY ANYTHING. It's not a requirement to be an a&& hole!!!!

mandalinn82
07-17-2009, 02:58 AM
I will never forget getting mooed at while jogging down the street by some middleschoolers. Worst, the mom driving them laughed. Way to teach your kids to be upstanding citizens!

Sorry you had to deal with that. But stupid is stupid, and they'd come up with something stupid to say regardless of weight, I think. If it's not one thing, it's something else...once I was at goal weight, I got a taunting comment from some teens about my shirt. Yes, my t-shirt. Seriously? Seriously.

CamiToo
07-17-2009, 03:19 AM
I'm sorry that happened to you. It shouldn't hurt when strangers make rude comments but it does.:hug:

Next time someone's a jerk tell them that you're overweight and you can lose the excess pounds but they're ignorant and there's no cure for stupidity.

scarletmeshell
07-17-2009, 10:20 AM
I am so sorry this happened. I have often seen heavy people out walking and jogging and I think to myself, good for them. Wonderful! Next time I am going to yell that out. I'm ashamed to say, I have never done this, next time I will.

TJFitnessDiva
07-17-2009, 11:45 AM
Sadly it's something you need to ignore. If you allow yourself to feel down about something so negative it could cause a back slide. They were immature thugs that karma will get sooner or later.

I have never had anyone except family say rude and mean things to me though. :(

Lyn2007
07-17-2009, 12:34 PM
I agree that they are going to be rude regardless of weight or looks. They just pick the easiest thing for their simple minds to taunt about. If you had no legs they'd make fun of that. Or if you were bald. Or old. Or whatever.

I got called a fat cow when I weighed about 165 pounds. If only they could see me now!

thisisnotatest
07-17-2009, 03:22 PM
It really bothers me that any visual recognition of an imperfection is such an easy goto to taunt someone about.
I hate that the 'fat card' can be played at any moment.
I personally love to argue, and apreciate a good slam or comeback, but the whole 'you're fat' comment in any form is such a weak childish copout. Which is why it probably bothers me so much.

I find those comments hard to ignore, they're mean but true (which is why they are used-easy way to be mean and stun someone, takes almost no thought or effort) and the only way to get rid of them for good is to lose the weight and make those comments impossible.

JulieJ08
07-17-2009, 03:29 PM
It really bothers me that any visual recognition of an imperfection is such an easy goto to taunt someone about.
I hate that the 'fat card' can be played at any moment.
I personally love to argue, and apreciate a good slam or comeback, but the whole 'you're fat' comment in any form is such a weak childish copout. Which is why it probably bothers me so much.

I find those comments hard to ignore, they're mean but true (which is why they are used-easy way to be mean and stun someone, takes almost no thought or effort) and the only way to get rid of them for good is to lose the weight and make those comments impossible.

All very true - which is why it makes me want to say "Wow, that was clever! Did you come up with it all by yourself?"

kiramira
07-17-2009, 04:14 PM
I remember being in a car with my DH (before he was my DH) and some of our co-workers, years ago, all going to lunch.

We were driving down the road, and a larger person was jogging by the side of the road. One of the guys snickered and said something rude inside the car -- I can't remember what -- just to us, to get a laugh or something. And my DH STOPPED the car, turned around and said:

"Yeah? Well, at least he's OUT there MOVING his butt. And you just SIT on yours all DAY. Maybe YOU should get out there sometime. It's not like YOU'RE doing anything...so STFU..."

And my DH started the car back up and we all went to lunch. Never heard ANY stupid remarks from any of the guys ever again!

Kira

SwimGirl
07-17-2009, 06:33 PM
Thanks everyone for posting, it's nice to hear I'm not alone in this.. because being overweight makes me feel alone. Definitely given some things to think about, and I guess it bothers me to hear people call me fat because I haven't fully accepted it. Like I'm somehow in denial about the obvious. I was also teased endlessly when I was in grade 8 about my weight, when I was a normal weight. I really had to pull all my strength together and I went to the principle after nothing was done to stop them. I threatened to place sexual harassment charges, and everyone but one boy stopped. I don't want to fight that hard, I feel immature saying this.. but I just want to fit in. I don't think it'll ever happen, because we all have something that sets up apart.

I went for a walk today, with earphones. But I still went!

-Aimee

Jessers
07-17-2009, 07:00 PM
lottie63 said:

I decided a long time ago that I'm not going to let a complete stranger who will never think of that moment again, have that much power of me and my life.

This really resonated with me! I've thought the same thing in the past when I've run into similar situations - I always think something like, "It happened, let's move on, I'm not going to give that person the satisfaction of having their comment ruin my day." Of course it's hurtful, but the most helpful coping mechanism for me has been to stubbornly repeat something like that to myself.

Stella
07-17-2009, 07:02 PM
That`s rotten and always hard to brush off - for me anyway. Inthe next moment, however, I`ll think "I`ll show you!" It hurts terribly, but in a way, it also spurs me on to make sure that it will stop, for good.

dragonwoman64
07-17-2009, 07:04 PM
Yeah, I thought a wry witty comeback would have been lost on them. I don't swear very often, but sometimes in the right context a carefully placed F word is entirely appropriate.

a woman after my Brooklyn heart! more F bombs per square foot here than any other place in the world, I'd wager.

you're really cute, Amy, and you have a sweet heart. like everyone else here has said, that kind of as*holicness is not fun to deal with. and it sucks when it comes at a time when you feel especially vulnerable. curse him out in your head a bunch of times, (if it's past the point you can do it to his face, heh heh) :D

Vivian27
07-17-2009, 09:21 PM
Yeah it happened to me too. I had a teenage boy say to me "Move it fat a**!!!" like I was taking up the whole sidewalk (he was slowly passing on his bike) I said "Thanks for noticing my fat a** do you like it?!" He was blushing and obviously was embarrassed:D!! Oh well.

JulieJ08
07-17-2009, 09:53 PM
Yeah it happened to me too. I had a teenage boy say to me "Move it fat a**!!!" like I was taking up the whole sidewalk (he was slowly passing on his bike) I said "Thanks for noticing my fat a** do you like it?!" He was blushing and obviously was embarrassed:D!! Oh well.

That was fabulous!

SwimGirl
07-17-2009, 10:53 PM
Vivian - haha I love it! Thats funny!

Marge - aww, thanks :) Makin' me blush over here..

I think with the amount of stress going on in my life if that were to happen again I'd totally fight the guy, :lol: Just to get some of the pent up aggressive I have out of me!

-Aimee

dragonwoman64
07-18-2009, 10:33 AM
too funny, vivian

Aimee, you give him a good, hard stare, and say, Hey! You wanna piece a me, tough guy?? (stick out your chest, too)

beautifulone
07-18-2009, 10:09 PM
Hugs Aimee! I know it sucks so much to experience that.. but don't let his ignorance dissuade you from being the person you want to be and living the life you want to live!

I remember being in a similar situation, and it hurts hellishly, unfortunately. But you've got to somehow decide that you are more important than one thoughtless, insensitive, and disrespectful comment - I say "got to", because you deserve to reach your dreams!

I remember at one point thinking - if I decide to direct my life based on what other people think of me - that's gonna suck and it's going to be unfair to me! It's already tough enough to be going through what I'm going through!
Why would I choose to victimize myself and hold myself back in life because of something someone said about me? Isn't it bad enough that they said/did that and I experienced it? Why give their words/deeds so much power that they will dictate how I feel about myself and how I live my life? It's MY life, I decide, NOT them through their opinion of me. I don't have to accept what people dish out to me, I can choose and I deserve to choose.

beautifulone
07-18-2009, 10:10 PM
Way to go on your walk the next day, btw!!! That's the attitude! :D :hug:

DeeinVaBeach
07-18-2009, 11:16 PM
This one got me.. I've been lurking as a non registered person for a while, but just had to register today. I was at the grocery store today and a guy was collecting for a youth football league or some such, and when i told him i didn't have any cash on me and maybe on the way out, He called me a fat b-word as I walked away..... well guess who didn't get a donation on the way out. I guess I am doing a bit better though, cuz it didn't make me tear up or get ticked like i normally would, just walked on by.