100 lb. Club - Someone fetch me a horse

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07-15-2009, 03:26 AM
so I can get back in the saddle.....

I had a really rough couple of weeks: 2 weeks of silent treatment punishment from a friend who'd been verbally abusive (again), and just when I decide I deserve better and that I'd better move on, he gets in touch. I did a lot of research, it's classic manipulating/bullying/dominating behaviour, and I haven't quite decided yet how to respond. I also begin to suspect that the issue is that I've outgrown him, not the other way rounds, which is a bit of a thought-provoker too.

Anyway, throughout it all I stayed on plan calorie wise, although execise was pretty much nil and the food choices were not the nutritional best.
Sunday I had an 'indulgent day' - I used to at the beginning of this weightloss journey, and it was high but planned.
Monday, I tried to ease myself back in to Control but ended up with a bit of a binge: only a tiny one, on cereal at the end of the day but I identify it as a binge because I wasn't hungry and I don't like the cereal that much, it was eating for the sake of it.
Yesterday I got weighed and sure, the scales are up but not nearly as much as they could have been. I started the day enthused but had an accident with a cheese sandwich just before bedtime.

So here I am again, firmly resolved to stick to plan today - but boy! isn't it hard to get back on the horse!, I'm really surprised, I feel like I've totally forgotten how to make healthy choices - so if anyone sees that I haven't got both feet in the stirrups, can you give me a nudge, please?

Oh, and I've bought my ticket to Paris; and ThankYou for your great support.

Lila Leeds
07-15-2009, 03:37 AM
My first thought is that friends don't act in the way you described. You certainly don't deserve to be treated like that, I think you are right, it might be time to move on.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you have had 3 days when you could have made better food choices - that's all. You have made a concious decision to stop poor eating habits. Congratulations.

07-15-2009, 03:48 AM
Respond by not being his friend anymore and be honest and say that he's not a good friend and you don't appreciate him being verbally abusive.

Arctic Mama
07-15-2009, 06:26 AM
Get back in that saddle and ride on! You've owned up to your less than desireable few days and you know what to do to lose again - be darn proud that you caught yourself nice and early and were aware of your behavior even during it, then move forward from there :). I've had some less than good days lately as well so I am right there with you, but the amazing thing about a lifelong journey is that you have today and the rest of your life to keep doing better!

07-15-2009, 07:02 AM
You haven't forgotten how to make healthy choices, you've just been momentarily dazzled by the glamour of a cheese sandwich, beguiled by the wiles of a box of cereal. But now you see them for what they are; distractions on your journey. And heck maybe you NEEDED the momentary comfort of the cheese sandwich; maybe it was just a small rest and refueling stop along the way.

Remember: Progress, not perfection. You are doing this. And congrats for buying the ticket to Paris. Think of all the lovely, handsome Frenchmen that will be there, waiting for a slim, lovely single girl from a foreign land to visit......

07-15-2009, 07:15 AM
Mais oui!

and while I'm at it, I'm remembering to count my blessings that I can manage to make glorious trips like this...

07-15-2009, 07:25 AM
I always need one good strong, strong Perfectly on Plan day to get me going and in that groove again. I plan the heck out of the day and I make myself a promise, a vow - that for just this one day I will not put even an extra bite into my mouth. So every time I go to "reach for something", I must put the brakes on - because I've made this promise, this vow. And then I am all relieved and day 2 is MUCH easier and before you know it - firmly back in the saddle. Good eating begets more good eating. Ahhhhh. Relief!

I used to get real angry at myself for these minor detours, until I realized that these days are actually PART of the journey and to be expected. The trick is to not double and triple up those singular "off-ish" days and to keep them indeed - singular.


07-15-2009, 07:45 AM
You can do this my love. You are a smart cookie. Smart enought to know that this friend is lacking in friend qualities and smart enough to know that you can and will finish what you started.

07-15-2009, 09:11 AM
Ditto to Windchime's and Robin's posts, they said my thoughts better than I can but I want to cheer you on. :cheer2::cheer2:

About your friend, only you can decide if he is worth the aggravation of his behavior, but if he is trying to manipulate you, don't let it work. You would just be reinforcing this type of behavior. I have learned that what worked with my children, work also with adults. Reward the behavior you want, don't reward the behavior you don't want.

I guess it would be kind of hard to put him in timeout wouldn't it? Does he have a naughty chair?

07-15-2009, 09:14 AM
You can do this Ailidh!

07-15-2009, 10:10 AM
Sometimes you need these little side trips to make the main journey possible --- and sometimes you learn good things while you are off the beaten path.

You learned that you are no longer eating mindlessly even when you are binging; you identified that behavior the second it raised its head. And you knew it wasn't going to fix the larger problem. And you stopped it BOOM! You really are in charge of this!

I am really sorry about the problems with your boyfriend. If he has always behaved like this, then maybe it is time to move on. If these kind of headgames are new, then maybe he is noticing all the great changes you are making and no longer knows how he fits in. In either case, I am sorry you are going through this.

Kudos for not allowing any of this to sidetrack you. Hang in there!


07-15-2009, 10:33 AM
Sometimes you need these little side trips to make the main journey possible --- and sometimes you learn good things while you are off the beaten path.

Kudos for not allowing any of this to sidetrack you. Hang in there! :hug:

everybody else said it so well. you deserve to be happy and healthy. once you're ready to put yourself out there and make new friends/acquaintances/activity pals, etc. ha, what any one person does or doesn't do will have much less impact on you emotionally.

07-15-2009, 11:34 AM
I am going through something similar and feel like my heart will break so really am not the one to offer any sane advice, however, I am sending you hugs and support, you can do this!

07-15-2009, 11:53 AM
Hey Girlfriend, sounds like you have both feet firmly in the stirrups...........ride on!!!:bravo:

As for the friend that was verbally abusive, I have this to say..........KICK HIM TO THE CURB AND RUN AWAY!!!

I, unfortunately, with many aspects to this scenario, have been MARRIED to just such a person for the past 24 years.
Long story short...............NO ONE, but NO ONE, deserves to be disrespected in any manner.

As for the diet.....sounds like you have the mindset right on and the slipping off the wagon.......pooey, it happens and then you just get back on that there horse and mosey on into the sunset!!!


Alana in Canada
07-15-2009, 12:37 PM
Excellent advice and so on already, so I'll just add my pom poms to the cheering. :cheer3::cheer2::cheer3::cheer2:

07-16-2009, 11:44 AM
Ailidh sorry to hear you are having problems with your friend. :hug: Hopefully,
things have worked out by now.

Congratulations on getting the ticket for Paris. I got to go there one weekend. It's awesome. Have A Great Trip!

Just remember how far you have come with your weight loss. Your doing a Great Job! :carrot:

07-16-2009, 01:28 PM
The horse is harder to control than I thought it would be but still in the saddle, if only just.

The friend finally got in touch. Not quite sure where we're going but the great news is that I am no longer a victim (to paraphrase Sirenity), so I feel a great sense of freedom.

07-16-2009, 01:43 PM
I'm in the same boat, sort off. I haven't calorie counted in weeks and started up again yesterday but that kind of fell flat as the day went on. I'm trying again today. Not sure but I know I can do it and so can you. Just get your foot in the stirup and swing that leg over!!!

07-16-2009, 01:46 PM
Ailidh, I am so impressed with your ticker :)

Back when we were posting pickles.... now decades of weight behind you!

Take care of yourself the way you would take care of anyone else.

And enjoy this upcoming vacation :)

07-16-2009, 01:51 PM
I've been having a hard time too, we can do it!

07-16-2009, 04:05 PM
Everyone's already given you excellent advice, so I just wanted to tell you how gorgeous you are! Your new avatar is simply lovely!