100 lb. Club - Heartbreak cure part #1




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Rosinante
07-12-2009, 05:57 PM
We'll let the 'argument' thread slip please chickies, no need to see it in all its goriness! I do thank you for all your kind support.

It seems likely that I won't get my September trip to Germany: so far all that's booked are the flights but, although I've paid for mine, they're on His electronic/credit card booking, and as he doesn't reply to any contact of mine, I've written it off mentally.

So, spent the evening planning a solo trip for myself - a lovely little break to Paris, France! Moi en Paris! Now there's a spur to weightloss if ever there was one.

Needed too, I've been lazy this week foodwise. Not grossly over the top but not really a point. I'm back on form and on my way.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: you all.


Alana in Canada
07-12-2009, 06:25 PM
Good for you.

Paris--yes, indeed, that's worth losing a few pounds for!

CountingDown
07-12-2009, 06:30 PM
:hug: Congrats on moving on and taking care of yourself! What a wonderful trip to plan for!


Windchime
07-12-2009, 06:38 PM
Wonderful! Paris is certainly something to look forward to! Maybe you can change your ticket from Germany to Paris and recoup a little of the money that way? Either way, it sounds fab and I'm glad you've got a wonderful trip to look forward to. I wish I was as brave as you, to take a trip solo; I'd love to take a trip but all my friends are married and paired up, and they're a bunch of stick in the muds and don't want to travel. Boo!

time2lose
07-12-2009, 06:41 PM
Paris, How wonderful! That is such a good idea. You will be able to what you want, when you want to.

Jennelle
07-12-2009, 07:07 PM
Paris! What an awesome idea! I would love to go back with just the hubby. We were there for a week with our kids right before we left hubby's post in Spain back in 1998. It was a lot of fun and the kids loved it (though don't remember much because they were only 10 and 8 at the time). I'd like to go back and do more grown-up things, though!

Rosinante
07-13-2009, 02:48 AM
Chime - I'll meet you there lol! Sadly, can't transfer the ticket, because it doesn't exist as a ticket, only as an e-ticket in his name, so I'm taking it as lost. hey.

I Have been to Paris but I bet not for nearly 40 years (eep). I think I had a couple of days there en route some place else but I have absolutely no recollection of it.

I looked at other destinations in Germany and also in Spain but that felt still a little too close to our previous plans and trips, so turned my thoughts to France - I took French in school from age 8 up to university degree, so I thought I should be brave and see if I can resurrect my first love language.

I'm making it a shorter trip than the German one was, so that means I can afford a classier hotel. Getting really psyched about this, really re-committed to the weightloss after a sloppy last week. (Ignoring the little voice that says, betcha he rings as tho nothing had happened, what will u do about Germany then? [Ans: I don't know.] )

PinkyPie
07-13-2009, 04:35 AM
When are you going? I'll meet you at the Eiffel Tower :-)

Seriously, if you need any help planning let me know. I should've been a travel agent!

Rosinante
07-13-2009, 05:27 AM
oo, what a great offer!

I'm going in mid-October, staying in the Bastille/Gare de Lyon area, considering Palym hotel. I need to be able to geet safely and sololy to the Opera Bastille on 2 nights. I'll be flying into CDG and using public transport. Currently trying to get my head round the various Paris Visite cards.

Where would be good places to visit? I may take one tourbus type option, and I wonder if I need something organized to get to Versailles? Otherwise, my French is good, if a little rusty at the moment, and I usually do my sight-seeing solo. It's a bit of a cliche but I might like to focus on the Terror - the sights, not any gruesome dungeon museums. The French Revolution was one of my first historical passions at school, might be nice to re-visit it.

dragonwoman64
07-13-2009, 09:55 AM
went there in 2002. you can get to Versailles using the regular train, it stops a short walk away. I have my Versailles pic as my desktop background on my personal computer. :)

Chartres is a great day trip too, you get to ride through beautiful contryside, and the cathedral is wonderful. A British historian Malcolm Miller gives short tours of it.

The Eiffel Tower (we went towards the late afternoon and there was almost no line)that is such a great memory for me! have a falafel in the Marais, lol. you'll have such a good time.

JayEll
07-13-2009, 01:52 PM
Alidh, I think it's great that you are planning a trip for yourself! :cheer2:

It was only last Friday, I think, that you emailed him and he didn't reply. So it's possible that you will hear something from him after all? Think about how you will respond (or not respond)! If you continue not to hear from him, then no need to go out of your way to tell him the plans have changed.

Jay

Rosinante
07-13-2009, 04:48 PM
Alidh, I think it's great that you are planning a trip for yourself! :cheer2:

It was only last Friday, I think, that you emailed him and he didn't reply. So it's possible that you will hear something from him after all? Think about how you will respond (or not respond)! If you continue not to hear from him, then no need to go out of your way to tell him the plans have changed.

Jay

Jay, that is so spooky! This afternoon an email arrived:

Sorry, e-mail's been out for a few days and I've just got it sorted. Filthy cold's left me with little energy.
This week's useless - [lists workload]
Next week should be better but isn't really.
Lunch only poss on Monday or Friday. Otherwise it'd have to be late afternoon.
Over to you.

[Initial]
(I'd emailed saying how about lunch to sort out trip)

I honestly don't know what to do. I will say, when I got it my first response was annoyed! poooooopy. I'll think about it tomorrow. Maybe. Ack. Now, back in Paris.....

dragonwoman64
07-13-2009, 06:58 PM
well, I'll confess to you, I've gotten worked up with friendships (esp guy friendships/relationships) in the exact same way and had essentially the same thing happen to me (where there was other stuff going on not having to do with me). I didn't know if I should say that, bec I didn't want to sound like I was dismissing how upset you were.

you'll get other feedback from people here, but I wonder a bit if part of it all isn't a difference in how men and women think. women (I'm talking me, actually) get anxious for immediate resolve, like to talk things out. guys will have the conflict, need to back off to simmer and calm down, then want to forget about it and move on.

good luck with everything

Rosinante
07-13-2009, 07:21 PM
yea, I know what u mean and I remember posting what was the matter with me that I assume my anger will lead to the end of things - but this guy, who rings 3-5 times a week, has treated me to two weeks' silent treatment. it's classic bullying - withdrawal of emotional presence behaviour. i'll think about it tomorrow, and the fact that the #1 thing i feel now is, dang, I nearly got away.....

JayEll
07-13-2009, 07:43 PM
You can be free if you want. :)

Jay

dragonwoman64
07-13-2009, 07:45 PM
it's classic bullying - withdrawal of emotional presence behaviour. i'll think about it tomorrow, and the fact that the #1 thing i feel now is, dang, I nearly got away.....

oh, I don't think I realized that! :hug:

you CAN get away, if that's what you want.

Elladorine
07-13-2009, 08:05 PM
I briefly mention a broken friendship in my "snapping back to reality (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/176606-snapping-back-reality-ot.html)" thread. Even though I don't mention what happened between me and my online friend (whom I've met up with in RL and had considered my closest friend) and even though you and I are in totally different situations, your recent threads were what made me decide to post my experience.

In fact, what happened between that friend and I gave me some realizations and is part of the reason I'm so anxious to get off my duff and make some positive changes in my life.

I get the impression that even though you've gotten some good out of this friendship, it has been emotionally draining on you. Perhaps it's even prevented you from finding a relationship that would be less one-sided and much more suitable to your happiness.

Something we all seem to crave is the comfort of the familiar. Sometimes it's easier to put up with a bad relationship/friendship than look for a new one. New things are scary, and I doubt many people get more scared than I do when it comes to this stuff. I've never been one to be able to hang on to friends for long so I tend to cling for as long as I can.

Maybe we didn't go through the exact same things here, but perhaps you can relate to the fact I lived more in fear of losing a friendship than in an the actual enjoyment of having it.

This girl had been my best friend for years, yet I constantly let her put me down and take advantage of me. I literally cried for months when I realized the type of person that she really was. She had been someone I used to relate with and talk to for hours every day, so it about killed me when she purposefully disappeared.

It took your friend days to get back to you. It took my friend nearly a year. And since she's now throwing unfounded accusations and contradicting stories at me upon her return, I've decided not to reply to her. The first time around hurt enough. I can't keep caving in to her drama or subject myself to being second-best in the relationship. Maybe that's something you need to ask yourself as well?

I won't pretend that standing my ground doesn't hurt. In fact, it hurts like ****. But at least I'm healing now, which I don't think would be possible if I went back to her.

Whatever the future brings, I hope you get things figured out, and that you make sure your well-being is your priority over anything else. :hug: