Weight Loss Support - So freakin' MAAAAD!




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Niecy
07-11-2009, 11:11 AM
I just walked down the street to a neighborhood yard sale. The girls there had some nice GAP jeans and fitted jackets, vintage winter coats and nice summery dresses.

Some of the jackets I tried on outside, but had to go in to try on the dresses. I am now OFFICIALLY in an 8 and the sixes were a bit snug, but I am thinking into the future and didn't want to pass up these nice threads at great prices.

Anyway, as I am trying on the fitted jackets in size 6, my 20 somethings SINGLE neighbor(and now I see why) walks up and tells me that it doesn't look good b/c it is too tight across the back. I proceeded to politely tell him in a way w/out broadcasting to everyone that I am trying to lose weight that I am in transition w/ sizes and they WILL fit by fall. He then tells me that "yeah, but your shoulders and ribs themselves aren't going to shrink". He actually wanted to argue my size in front of other people! Why do people do crap like this. Was he TRYING to embarrass me? Which didn't work b/c the women I bought the clothes from were my age and apparently my same size range. This guy is fixated on women's sizes. When he meets a new girl, he doesn't tell me or my husband about her personality and such, he goes on and on about "Yeah, she is about 130 lbs, great figure".

UGH!! I wish people would mind their own da%m beeswax!!!! When I lose weight, ummmm, DUH!!! my size WILL go down.

Maybe he is one of those people who believe all overweight people are "big-boned".


Jacquie668
07-11-2009, 11:19 AM
Ew...that guy doesn't sound...well maybe he will grow out of it one day. *one can hope*

Probably he was trying to "help" but lacks social grace and well...he needs to learn when to shut up, smile, and nod to be honest lol. People sometimes are jerky and I like to think a lot of them don't mean to be. Meaning, they are literally unaware there is a problem.

I can think of a person in my life who is like that. The man is very rude to people and literally is unaware of his behavior. I mean people will run away from him or avoid him, he is just generally unpleasant lol. He lives in his own world thinking he is just the greatest lol. He is a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but has a personality flaw. Haha a big one. ;)

*HUGS* I can see why it would upset you, I would be steaming too!

Onederchic
07-11-2009, 11:25 AM
OMG!! Stupid people are one of my biggest pet peeve. If you want, I will come pay him a visit with my trusty baseball bat http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/shelspray/Smilies/thsmiley_baseballbat.gif :D


kiramira
07-11-2009, 11:53 AM
Totally so NOT cool...next time, if he makes a comment, just say "Yah, you're probably right" and keep on doing what you are doing. If he persists, say "Yah, it's CRAZY, isn't it" and carry on. I guarantee you the conversation will be over.
No point in explaining yourself or trying to convince this guy about your motives. He'll never. ever. get. it.

:hug:
Kira

Niecy
07-11-2009, 11:57 AM
LOL Chunkychic!

I think I have definitely found my motivation for the day. I am going to pretend that with every stride I take jogging on the treadmill, I am stepping on his head with my tennis shoes, lol.

Jacquie, I dunno. He is nearing 30 so his time is running out. My husband liked the clothes though, so :p to this neighbor, lol.

Niecy
07-11-2009, 12:02 PM
Kira, that is a great response! Can totally see where that would put an end to the discussion. I should have told him that I have this OCD of buying clothes that are many sizes too small and I just have ROOMS full of them. But I am trying to get help, haha.

Several months from now he would see what an idiotic comment that was. And what would be even better is if he told other neighbors, LOL!

I always do that; figure out good things to say HOURS after the topic is over.

kiramira
07-11-2009, 12:07 PM
For me, the ultimate rebuttal comes to me at 3 am...but it would be weird to call the person up and say, "oh YEAH??? Well blah blah BLAH" and hang up the phone...although I've been tempted...

:lol:

Kira

Jacquie668
07-11-2009, 12:16 PM
LOL Chunkychic!

I think I have definitely found my motivation for the day. I am going to pretend that with every stride I take jogging on the treadmill, I am stepping on his head with my tennis shoes, lol.

Jacquie, I dunno. He is nearing 30 so his time is running out. My husband liked the clothes though, so :p to this neighbor, lol.

Ack...nearing 30 and still jerky. I guess he will be one of those people that people run away from at parties. ;) lol

Niecy
07-11-2009, 12:27 PM
Yeah, RUN, RUN, RUN!! lol. He literally said something to this effect once on one of his networking pages, twitter or something like that:

Why is it that the overweight girls are into toned guys, but when the toned guy doesn't return the feeling, she gets all mad and calls him shallow.

I am sure that tidbit just made that girl overflow with passion for him. I *think* I know the girl he was referring to, and yes, she is overweight BUT from what I have seen of her, she is cute and has a great personality, a good job and high ambition. His loss!

For the most part, this guy is cool to have as a neighbor. He is not ALL bad. Up until today anyway. But he got on my bad side today. My husband thinks maybe he was being "brotherly" to me but even he could definitely see why I was upset.

Kira, yep that is me too. I can get away with it when it is my husband, lol. I will wake him up at 11PM still ranting sometimes and he is like, WHAT are you talking about? Oh, that conversation from YESTERDAY???? haha

Thighs Be Gone
07-11-2009, 01:06 PM
I wonder if the guy is gay honestly. What man does something like that--what guy concerns himself with what a woman is wearing. The only guy I know that does that IS GAY!

Yes, he needs to DEFINITELY mind his business.

jendiet
07-11-2009, 01:06 PM
what a cad! Wow, I would definitely wear it walking down the street a couple times in his sight when it does fit perfectly.

CandieRae
07-11-2009, 01:10 PM
Brain-Mouth filters. Some people lack them.

Ufi
07-11-2009, 01:56 PM
And now you know why he's still single.

Have you considered telling him that talking only about a woman's looks makes a person sound shallow? Maybe he isn't even aware of how he's coming across. Maybe he's been going through all of these relationships, not sure why it isn't working out when he's so helpful with his ideas for her to improve herself.

Late to the game
07-11-2009, 01:58 PM
Loll Candie!!

Niecy
07-11-2009, 02:03 PM
Thighs Be Gone:

Interestingly enough, that VERY topic has been passed around the neighborhood! We are a very mixed neighborhood and a lot of the guys here who ARE gay swear he is "in the closet". BUT, I try not to say anything just listen, like oh, ok. Cuz I SURE don't wanna go down for starting that rumor, but the gay guys don't care, they say it, lol.

Jen, that is just what I plan to do. I will wear it and go ask him for some eggs or something, LOL.

I guess what really hurt was that I have worked SOOOO hard to get where I am. Even building up some nerve to go bathing suit shopping. The real deal is hard work and a lot of dedication. And he just made me feel that all of my hard work was of no importance or futile and that I am still as big as I was when he first moved here 2.5 yrs or so ago (about 180). And I know I still have some work to do, but a size 8 is not exactly huge. In fact, by todays US standards my opinion of a size 8 is actually on the small side of medium in comparison to the general population, excluding those with serious ED like bulimia and anorexia. But he is acting like my size 8 is the same as when I wore 14/16's.

Ok, I just wanted to take a break and rant again after getting off the bike. On to the treadmill to smash his face with my shoes, LOL.

Mrs Snark
07-11-2009, 02:40 PM
Here's what I would have said to him: "GO AWAY."

You can't talk sense into idiots like him, not worth even trying.

Niecy
07-11-2009, 06:08 PM
Go away is a good way to end the discussion quickly, too.

Thanks everyone for being there to hear me vent. I thought it was mean and uncalled for.

But I sure stomped on his face a lot today, LOL.

Gale02
07-12-2009, 04:10 PM
A therapist once taught me the phrase "Thank you for your opinion, I'll take that into consideration." It is by far the most effective way to politely tell someone to shove it. Every time I've used it it shuts them down... really, what can you say to that? "Um... ok." :)

Jacquie668
07-12-2009, 04:15 PM
A therapist once taught me the phrase "Thank you for your opinion, I'll take that into consideration." It is by far the most effective way to politely tell someone to shove it. Every time I've used it it shuts them down... really, what can you say to that? "Um... ok." :)

Wow good one. I am going to make a mental note of that one. :D

touchmytoes
07-12-2009, 04:51 PM
thats just rude...the only time ive ever had someone do that is when my hubby was honestly telling me something did not look good...but i wasnt dieting back them so he had a point.....

dont worry about, as ive said in other posts, use it to help you..soak up their negative attitudes and use it to help you move further in your goal.

a girl that lives just down from me said to me one day when i said i had been going to the gym alot...she said ' hey but you need to do a whole lot more to shift that weight' and the she said... ' i do an hour a day in the gym bet you couldnt do that' well im doing more than an hour a day ...so yeah i can and im thinner than her now as well....!! so ha ha ha!! let it go...like i said...use it...in the autumn...(fall?!) go back out in your smaller size and show that daft sod who has the last laugh!!

harrismm
07-12-2009, 04:59 PM
This guy will end up marrying a super skinny, in great shape girl (or guy) and she or he will gain weight at some point.That probably when he will get it.Until then, he will remain clueless.

gmdavis
07-13-2009, 09:18 AM
I hate to play "devil's advocate" but perhaps that's what happens to a son raised by a mother who's obsessed with her weight--just something to think about...

JulieJ08
07-13-2009, 09:24 AM
IAnyway, as I am trying on the fitted jackets in size 6, my 20 somethings SINGLE neighbor(and now I see why)

Uh yeah, end of story right there. What a weirdo.

time2lose
07-13-2009, 09:40 AM
I wonder if he could have Asperger's (a type of autism) or something like that? In the past, I never would have thought about something like that but since my grandson was diagnosed with autism, I am very conscious of such things.

I think that I would just assume that he has something wrong with him and try to be patient. Even if he is just a jerk, he does have something wrong with him. :)

Niecy
07-13-2009, 10:11 AM
a girl that lives just down from me said to me one day when i said i had been going to the gym alot...she said ' hey but you need to do a whole lot more to shift that weight' and the she said... ' i do an hour a day in the gym bet you couldnt do that' well im doing more than an hour a day ...so yeah i can and im thinner than her now as well....!! so ha ha ha!!

Can people get any more insensitive and immature? Sadly, I think yes, haha.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!! I hope those comments ring out in her ears everytime she sees you. I hope she thinks you spend 4 hours a day in the gym. I hope she thinks you starve yourself. I hope...well, now I am being immature but you get the picture, lol.

The only unsolicited advice I have ever given someone involving something to do with weight loss is my sister in-law. Last year she lost a good bit but it was because her personal trainer from the gym put her on this calorie cycle of 800 calories. WHERE do they get these people? At the time, I minded my own business but knew she was creating a disaster. She gained it all back and then some. So she is trying it again and I said just make sure not to go below 1200, take it slow and steady and the rest was all encouragement like "you CAN do it" and such. She saw me eat cake AND ice cream at my dad's B'day party, she saw me eat a Boca Burger, she saw me eat light chips and 1/2 cup of baked beans and she saw me drink a Sprite...zero, haha. HOPEFULLY, I am setting a better example for her that you CAN eat. And I think that speaks volumes enough.

Time2lose, you have a point. I have a cousin who blurts things out like that and there is definitely something wrong. I am not around this neighbor enough to really analyze his problems but he does say some very strange things from time to time.

gmdavis, I don't know. His mom looks to be rather small. Like a naturally small type of small. All of his family that I have seen over visiting looks to be rather thin naturally. But I don't know what goes on behind closed doors so I guess it is a possibility.

beerab
07-13-2009, 02:59 PM
Lol really where does that guy come off?

Next time pull out a dollar bill and give it to the closest person and say "you were right he IS gay!" lol. ;)

Sounds like he'd be the kind of person who'd care if someone said that....

I think if I were in your shoes though I would have honestly told him go away... It'd make me work harder to make those clothes fit so I can show him later and say huh, my bones MUST have shrunk!

kittycat40
07-13-2009, 03:09 PM
what a jerk. you got some good answers here. i will use them too!

Lissus
07-13-2009, 03:26 PM
OMG!! Stupid people are one of my biggest pet peeve. If you want, I will come pay him a visit with my trusty baseball bat http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/shelspray/Smilies/thsmiley_baseballbat.gif :D

Count me in. Sounds like this guy needs a pretty strong wake up call. :devil: