I have been binging for 3 days. I feel horrible my self esteem is rock bottom. I just dont feel like I can do this anymore. Anyone ever seek professional help to deal with eating issues? I know I should just toughen up and get serious but i think theres a time to admit defeat and seek out a different approach. I feel so pathetic and weak!!
07-11-2009, 02:22 AM
Just a hug.
I don't have experience of it, it's the kind of work that's not commonly available in the UK, but I think it's a really sensible idea. It's not weak or defeatist or failed, it's using every possible tool available to you, i.e. success.
07-11-2009, 02:34 AM
How long have you been with your program? I usually find myself hitting this type of wall about the 4 month mark (about 30 lbs loss).
This time I decided to get a trainer to help me stay focused. I also keep rereading about how the food industry has found the perfect combination of surgar, fat, and salt to keep us coming back for more and not feeling full - truely an addiction. It might not be true, but the thought of it is working for me.
1. plan a binge? Get your mind back around that you control what you eat by planning out what it is you are going to get, but don't worry about what it is you eat. It's more about getting you feeling that you are controling it rather than it controlling you. So - first thing in the morning write up everything and anything that sounds good for the day, then try to stick to it. Then maybe start working back towards healthier foods.
2. Go cold turkey on the junk again - get it out of your house and then don't leave the house if you don't have to for a day - maybe 2.
I guess I'm an all or nothing kind of fixit thinker. My feelings are that you have to get to a place where you are not beating yourself up so that you can stop the rollercoaster and triggers of the binging. Then start moving back to where you were before the binging started.
I also started taking welbutrin about 1 yr ago to help me get past obessively thinking about food and eatting. It has worked for me but it really is a hit or miss medication.
You are down 43 lbs, doing so great.
07-11-2009, 02:41 AM
Binging happens to the best of us; please don't beat yourself up over it. It doesn't mean you're a failure or are any less of a person, it just means that you've tripped up a little which is something that we all do.
Don't fret over what's been done; all you can really do is move forward. Seek the extra help if you feel you need it. :hug:
07-11-2009, 03:14 AM
For me, binging is an irrational response to emotions I couldn't deal with. I've managed to get it under control, but I was planning to try therapy if I couldn't. In a way it was a relief to admit that I might not be able to stop binging without help - I accepted that the was some programming in my brain that faulty, and that helped me work through it instead of expecting to be able to "just stop eating so much" - which makes perfect sense if your brain isn't slightly broken when it comes to food, but I couldn't seem to do.
I'm sure your GP would be able to refer you to someone. In the mean time, try to learn from this and move on. Do you know why you binged? Is there a particular emotion you were avoiding? Were you feeling deprived? (i.e. thinking 'I deserve this!') Was there a particular food that triggered a binge?
I'm not an expert in this, but I was able to reduce the power of the urge to binge after I had answered those questions.
:hug:Now, pick yourself up, throw out any junk food you haven't finished and plan a filling, healthy, easy menu for tomorrow. I wouldn't worry too much about portion control for now, just eat whole foods and replace the junk you've put in your system for the past three days. Then, when you feel more in control, start take baby steps back to whatever plan it is that's worked so well for you to have lost almost 50lbs.
Oh, and a blog you might enjoy on the issue is "A sense of scale".
Late to the game
07-11-2009, 09:55 AM
:goodvibesExcellent advice, couch.
Babyfat - Youv'e come so far! You'll get back in the groove :goodvibes
07-11-2009, 10:53 AM
yes, I've worked with a therapist who specialized in eating disorders. I felt like I couldn't control my binge eating. Binge eating is a relative thing. You might want to post over in the binge eating area, I'd bet they'd give you great advice. This is just from my perspective. I'm not a psychologist or expert.
You've already lost 43 lbs, which is amazing, give yourself credit for that, even if you've backslid for 3 days (believe me, no matter how much you binged, you haven't gained that weight back!)
I worked on the approach of Overcoming Overeating, which worked for me. it involved (hold you hat) for me having plenty of whatever it was I wanted to eat around, and letting myself eat as much of it as I wanted, when I got low I'd buy more. this can be scary for someone who has weight and binging problems, but it turned around my binge eating.
it helped me get rid of that panic feeling that I had to "finish" eating something, that I'd run out, that there wouldn't be enough, that I'd be deprived. now I can eat one scoop of ice cream, or not have it altogether because I know that there are millions of gallons of ice cream out there I can have IF I WANT IT.
don't despair. lots of people deal with emotional eating, binge eating, overeating, a combination. yeah, sometimes it's just fun to eat and it tastes good, and it's social. it can feel depriving to have to feel like you're constantly having to keep your calories down, and not have what you think you want to eat.
I'm not saying it's all solved for me, I still have quite a few lbs to go to get to the point where I'd feel like I'm at a healthy weight. I do feel much more mentally healthy about the whole process, and finally am getting to the point where I feel like it's totally doable, which is very comforting for me.
good luck and :hug:
07-11-2009, 11:10 AM
it's a scary feeling to feel out of control, i'm sure we've all been there at some point or other. It's never a bad thing to help from someone else about your feelings and emotions, we don't come with an owner's manual on how things work. Also, as someone said, bingeing is relative right? I went to OA and they laughed me out (really, they did, it was kinda mean) because i thought a binge was a bowl of ice cream, then a cookie, then a chocolate bar all in one evening... for some it's not a binge unless you polish off the whole carton of ice cream.
But one thing I really think you need to work on - even more than the binge - is tying your weight loss efforts to your self esteem. feeling weak and pathetic because of FOOD is self defeating and does no one any good! You made a mistake. You identified the mistake. You came on here and TOLD US about it. A weak person wouldn't do that.
07-11-2009, 01:05 PM
I have a therapist that I see and she has helped me a lot with the reasons behind my binge eating and other things that I never would have guessed were related to my weight problem, but clearly are well connected.
I used to think there was shame in seeking out help from a therapist. Now I think everyone should have one! Especially my parents who were the ones who taught me that it's not okay to talk about feelings outside the family (as if talking about them within the family was safe? Not.). I used to think they were right, and now I feel sorry for them.
Be strong. You can overcome this. You just need to find another outlet for your feelings besides eating. And there is nothing wrong with seeking help for figure out what those feelings are. :hug:
07-11-2009, 01:51 PM
I worked with a life coach for about year who deals specifically with binge eating and emtional eating issues. I loved her and she changed my life. She coaches people all over the country because sessions are done by phone. I had tried a therapist before (couple times) and never got anywhere. Either they were more used to dealing with different eating disorders or were just to "therapisty" for me. My coach was amazing and I feel like from day one I was moving in the right direction, not just spinning my wheels to tell my story. I know when I first found her I sat in on a free telecall that she had so you could get an idea of what she does and how she approaches things. I'm not sure if she still does that or not, but I would guess she does. Since she was a life coach she was not covered by insurance so I had to pay out of pocket and she wasn't cheap! If you are interested in the information I am happy to share. Just PM me and I'll send you the link to her website and you can decide if she is right for you or if you want to move forward or not.
The amazing thing was that by working with her so many other things in my life were affected, not just eating. I was separated from my husband, on the verge of divorce, and in a downward spiral with food. I spent my day all day eating. I had a job where I worked from home and I was failing at my job because I was too consumed with my emotions and food. Today I am happy to say that I am managing my binges much better than before (it's a several year process, I've come to find, where the binges get smaller and farther apart and the rebound time from them gets shorter and shorter), my marriage is back in tact and I'm happy about it, I am a stay at home mom who engages with my child, and I am learning to be proud of who I am, not hate who I am. Now my biggest challenge is to move my body more and learn to eat healthy again after so many years of unhealthy eating. It's a process but one I finally feel like I can conquer as opposed to that big, scary thing "out there" that I'll never get to be or have.
No matter what you decide, I hope that you are able to find a way to work through your emotions and manage the reasons why you binge. I truly know what it feels like to be a prisoner in the world of emotional and binge eating and it's a scary place to be. Good luck to you!
07-11-2009, 03:29 PM
:hug:I know how you feel. After doing great for about 1 month.I binged for 2 days.And since I am an all or nothing person,since I wasn't eating the way I should,I didn't bother to exercise either. Today when I got up the day could of went either way. But,I went on my elliptical,and that motivated me to stay op.It is a day to day thing w/me. I am sorry I have no words of wisdom,I just wanted to tell you I know how you feel.
07-11-2009, 10:06 PM
I know how you feel. My car died on Sunday last week. Had been using my moms car and got to the gym Monday and Tuesday, Wed my car died again after it came back to life then mom had to do go work and I had no car. I didn't work out Thursday, Friday or Saturday. I have been very depressed and I ate out of my plan on two days. I started back on plan today and I am taking mom's car for exercise tomorrow. Car should be back together by Sunday and I plan on being at the gym Monday morning like I have been. My ex husband has been an *** because he used to help fix it if something went wrong but now that I have lost more than 80 pounds he is upset. It cost a lot of money to get it fixed but it's what I had to do. Keep your head up and don't feel bad about it. Just get right back on plan. This board is always here for you. :hug:
07-11-2009, 10:43 PM
Hang in there, I think binges happen for everyone, but you'll get back in the swing. No advice about talking to someone, I've considered it myself, but haven't had the nerve.