Weight Loss Support - Weight Loss Journey Pet Peeves




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grneyedmustang
07-09-2009, 03:14 PM
The exercise pet peeves got me to thinking...I have a few "weight loss journey" pet peeves that didn't quite fit in with the exercise pet peeves, so here goes:

1) The "unsolicited diet advice" givers. You know, the people who find out you are losing weight, and whatever you are doing is working, but they feel compelled to give you advice anyway. For example, the other day I was out to eat with a friend, and someone brought up the fact that I had lost so much weight. This lady I didn't know felt compelled to tell me to "drink more water because it will help"....yeah, I already know that...I know it's coming from a good place, but if I wanted advice on what to do I'd ask for it...

2) The "food police"...I'm currently on South Beach, so there are some foods that aren't exactly low in fat, but still allowed on the plan. One day, I was eating a caesar salad, and one of my coworkers asked if I should be eating that, because it's not "diet food"...

3) When friends know you are dieting, but want to go out to eat all the time anyway. I have been strong in this area, because I usually say "no, I'll meet you guys afterward"...but the fact that you keep asking is counterproductive, IMO...

4) People who tell me "just do crunches" to get rid of my stomach. If that worked, I'd have that 6 pack I've always wanted, jackass!

So, there are a few of mine...what are yours?


Traveljack
07-09-2009, 03:32 PM
That last one is hilarious!!

I recently started my journey on WW and folks are just now beginning to comment like "what are you doing?" and "Is that OK on WW?" and "That doesnt seem like diet food to me!!

I actually am smiling on the inside because I feel like these are just jealousy jabs because I am doing something and perhaps they are not.

I have even completely ignored someone making these types of comments at work and amazingly I think that doing that actually encouraged her!

I will stop there or I will feel the need to get my boxing gloves out about it!!

beerab
07-09-2009, 03:40 PM
OMG YES on the people who keep asking to eat out! I'm like hello- DIETING! LOSING WEIGHT! My husband's best friend keeps doing this and I think my hubby told him please stop cuz I haven't seen him in almost a week- this is a first for a guy who would come over MULTIPLE times a week and want to eat out- you'd think after a few weeks of "no" he'd realize I'm serious. Then he tells me he wants to lose weight but eats out 1-2 times a day!

The other thing that bugs me is people who are thin- maybe weigh like 120-125 and are like omg I'm so fat- I look at them like HELLO! Are you for reals? If you are fat I must be a disgusting blob!

grrrrr....


stargzr
07-09-2009, 03:47 PM
I love it! You are awesome for starting this thread and giving some hilarious examples. I totally second the "crunches" idea. I think that if we could do crunches to eliminate out bellies, we'd all have flat stomachs no matter our weight! haha. Hilarious!

I know that some people like it when others ask if they've lost weight, but I am not one of those people. I don't mind if they say - hey you've lost weight, that's good (or something of the like). But when they interrupt you talking to someone else and say "Have you lost weight?". I just want to turn around and say Nope! Really, what is the right answer for that? Am I supposed to glow and exclaim just how many pounds are gone? I don't think so.

The other one I can think of is also one that you said - when someone who knows you're dieting says "Are you sure you should be having that/seconds/etc?" Don't you think that if I'M the one dieting I know what I CAN and CAN NOT have??!! Anyhow, that was fun! I look forward to hearing from everyone. haha

jelder227
07-09-2009, 04:32 PM
My favorite - the people who ask how much you've lost, tell you that you look wonderful. And then ask if you plan to lose any more. And if you tell them how much more say, "Oh no - you can't lose that much more! You'd be too thin!"

Well you know - those people could never tell when I weighed 185. It took them 20+ pounds to even notice I was losing weight. I'm good at dressing to disguise my weight - I've been doing it for 20 years. They don't know how I'll look at my goal weight - I DO!! I used to weigh that. Maybe it was forever ago, but I did look good!

Oh - another peeve - I am NOT large-boned. I'm tall, but small boned. I just happen to have broad shoulders, and incredibly even weight distribution.

Thank you - I feel better now. I'm venting all over the place today. And TOM isn't for another 10 days. Maybe I need to adjust my calories . . .

aphimira
07-09-2009, 04:36 PM
Genius Thread!

My weight loss journey pet peeve is those friends and family that are in denial or too nice to tell you the truth.

If someone tells me I don't look 300 lbs. You carry it well, or that I don't need to be on a diet, I'm going to blow.

I know my body better then you, and I'm telling you I'm on a diet for a reason. A little support would be nice....

Then you have those that are the polar opposite that jump on the bandwagon and expect you to carry them along.

Wow...I didn't know it bothered me that much until I put it on paper, it's only the 1st week of my full fledged diet. Thank goodness for this forum and the ability to express ourselves with other individuals who know how we feel.

Niecy
07-09-2009, 04:42 PM
I don't really have a complaint about people at this point. Yet, anyway.

But these ridiculous commercials.....as I was dropping off my middle child at summer camp this morning my 14 yr. old and I were trying to find something good to listen to on the radio. This "nurse" came on peddling her newest weight loss magic pill, core 4. She claimed that this pill actually BLOCKS calories from foods you eat???? Say whaaa? And THEN, the lady says that it will also suppress the appetite. AND give you energy. AND build muscle. What the heck?!?!

These idiot weight loss infomercials are disgusting. I am trying to teach my daughter the RIGHT way, the HEALTHY way to lose weight and set a good example so hopefully she doesn't end up overweight to begin with. I am TRYING to teach her that EATING is a part of being a human and there is no reason to starve yourself. You can't just take a pill and not eat right or exercise. Just not gonna happen.

Unfortunately, this "nurse" is soon to be one rich lady. So sad.

cajann
07-09-2009, 04:55 PM
What I don't like is when your friend is dieting and she only eats one meal a day and she loses more than you do. No way can I do without eating.
She may lose 20 pounds fast, but when she starts eating again, it will come right back on.

kiramira
07-09-2009, 04:56 PM
1. I have a dear SIL God Love Her who attributes my weight loss to my exercise and ignores the hard, hard work with respect to diet. "I could look like YOU, but I can't tolerate the heat in Hot Yoga." (maybe it is her daily double breakfast and pie habit instead of her exercise issues...)

2. My morbidly obese brother, who comes over and criticizes my diet plan while complaining about his weight issue. He apparently has an easier, better way to do things and I clearly am off my rocker for doing what I am doing.

3. SABOTEURS: "Oh, just have a TASTE! You've done so well and you won't RUIN it with that piece of ________." (fill in the blank)
And my personal favorite:
"Why don't you have the last serving? You know you want it! I'm just going to throw it out if you don't have it." like I'm some sort of human garbage can unable to decide what I can or cannot have and would rather break my eating plan to save you from the trauma of chucking the rather sorry piece of melted ice cream cake which I don't even LIKE into the bin.

4. The Backhanded Complimenters: "Oh MY! You look GREAT! Are you sick??" (seriously!). "WOW! Great to see you! I don't suppose you'll want to eat anything tonight, huh. I heard about your diet." (before a dinner party, seriously). "LOOK at YOU! You're WASTING AWAY! EAT something!" (as IF!!!)

5. The NaySayers: "You're doing great! But you know, you'll never keep it off." or "Isn't dieting FUN! But, of course, it'll all come back on when you eat normally again".

:D

Kira

aphimira
07-09-2009, 05:00 PM
5. The NaySayers: "You're doing great! But you know, you'll never keep it off." or "Isn't dieting FUN! But, of course, it'll all come back on when you eat normally again".


My response to those would be that's why it's a lifestyle change :D

kiramira
07-09-2009, 05:03 PM
Yeah, lots of people don't "get" the lifestyle change. I don't argue the point, I say "Yeah, you are probably right."

This makes the twit feel like they've "won" a point, and my aggravation factor is MINIMIZED, and I just keep on doing what I'm doing.

:D

Kira

aphimira
07-09-2009, 05:13 PM
Yeah I tend to have a problem keeping my mouth shut :P
I definitely don't like to let anyone else feel like they've won!

beerab
07-09-2009, 05:21 PM
Then you have those that are the polar opposite that jump on the bandwagon and expect you to carry them along.

This one I agree with too- I used to work out with a girl and we were supposed to meet each day at the gym at a certain time- she wouldn't show up, I'd call, nothing, then finally she'd stroll in half an hour later (or never show) and make me waste time.

Finally I started coming in at my time, working out, then leaving. I think the third day of this is when she came in and I was leaving cuz I was done and she was like "oh you leaving?" and I was like "yeah I am done with MY workout, we were supposed to meet at 10, you didn't show."

After that I "lost her number."

joyinSF
07-09-2009, 05:24 PM
omg you are too cute! ahahh..lol....i hear about the crunches ALL THE FREAKIN TIME and also about the ceasar salad, too...i hate it when people "watch" what i eat. and then they "spot police" my body...like i have some big a55 arms, and they say "you should do pushups and weights." im like "did i ask you for advice?"
and what really gets me is when people who are bigger than me who never work out , or skinny people who never had a fat body in their life , give me advice...ugh!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate it!

mandalinn82
07-09-2009, 05:37 PM
I don't mind the bandwagoners. I'll give advice to anyone who asks me for it. But I don't volunteer it. Food pushers don't really bother me all that much either, even if they know I am eating in a healthy way...I have enough experience now to enforce the "no thank you" and move on...I don't think they mean anything negative or underhanded by it (though I'm sure some people in the world push food in an underhanded way, just not the people in my life), so I tend not to get bothered. I feel the same about people inviting me out - either I work it into my plan by ordering a healthy option, or I don't, but either way, I don't think any of the people in my life are trying to lure me off plan on purpose, so I don't get bothered by invitations to go out.

My pet peeves:

1. People who tell me, without prompting, that my style of eating is wrong. This was particularly irksome (but funnier) after I hit goal, but occurred all along. As soon as I started, my FIL asked me what my weight loss goal was. I said I wanted to be as healthy as I could and would figure it out when I got closer. He said, and I quote, "You need to set a goal. You can't succeed without a goal". Can't? HELLO challenge! Even now, people tell me I'm doing it "wrong", or that what I'm doing isn't sustainable. Well, with almost 2 years of maintenance with only some minor blips, I'm pretty sure I have an OK idea of what works for me, thanks! If I want advice, I ask for it.

2. People who get overly defensive at mention of healthier habits. I remember once I said to a family member "What time are we starting breakfast tomorrow? I want to make sure I get up in time to run beforehand" and was told "God! Don't you EVER stop talking about EXERCISE??" It was a total overreaction, but made me think twice before I brought it up again in the company of that person. Or snarky comments like "That's no fun" or "Wow, they HATE you" when making an order at a restaurant...if I want to order an egg white omelette with veggies and a side of fruit, honestly, what is it to you? How is that offensive to you or to the cook? It's how I like to eat now, it is what sounds best, so please drop it.

3. People who hold a running commentary on what I'm eating, from good to bad. Whether commenting on my nice healthy plate (someone actually said to me "Geez, enough salad?" as though my salad consumption was offensive) or commenting on something I've worked in as a treat ("Don't you know how many calories are in that cookie??!"), it drives me nuts.

kestrel
07-09-2009, 05:37 PM
My pet peeve is the people who act disappointed when they found out that I'm doing Weight Watchers to lose weight. Something slow and gradual (and sustainable!), not some kind of pill off an infomercial.

And, like someone else mentioned, the people who say "you're getting too thin, you're going to look sick!". My goal weight is in the middle of my healthy BMI range, not something underweight. I'm another one who is not big-boned, but I think people are used to seeing me heavy and have trouble picturing me any other way.

Rebound
07-09-2009, 05:46 PM
I hate getting excited when I see something on Yahoo news about "weight loss tricks" or something. It's always something idiotic that I already know, like:

drinks have calories, too

or

drink more water

or

eat smaller portions

or

use the stairs

Like this is some fascinating new information. Granted, there are people that MAY still need this information and I'm just coming from a point of view that's a bit jaded. I should really just stop clicking on the links -- but I still think that maybe JUST THIS ONCE there will be something in there that I don't already know!

Oh, and mandalinn, you took the words right out of my mouth (or rather, my keyboard) with your post. SO TRUE!

Cali Doll
07-09-2009, 06:56 PM
LOL!!! This is a funny thread.

I've gotta be honest, none of this stuff bothers me. :P ...I am 3 months into WW and I am FINALLY strong enough to not succumb to the pressures of my old bad habits when I get invited out to lunch or dinner or whatever.

My friends are all great and really supportive. I hear "Wow, are you losing weight?" or "You are looking SO good!" all the time and I eat it up! I love hearing it! It motivates me and encourages me. "YES! I've been working really hard...thanks for noticing" is what I say in return.

I get the unsolicited advice....OK, yeah, *this* actually does get on my nerves. LOL! "Well, you know, you might gain weight if you are gaining muscle and losing fat!" "Losing more than 2 pounds a week is unhealthy!"

Yeah. Thanks. I know. NEXT! :P

ETA: I also love when people ask me for advice. That rocks! I sometimes have a hard time believing that they are asking ME (MEEEE!!) how to lose weight. I mean, I used to be the queen of chili cheese fries for lunch and dinner!

teresab
07-09-2009, 07:12 PM
2. People who get overly defensive at mention of healthier habits. I remember once I said to a family member "What time are we starting breakfast tomorrow? I want to make sure I get up in time to run beforehand" and was told "God! Don't you EVER stop talking about EXERCISE??" It was a total overreaction, but made me think twice before I brought it up again in the company of that person. Or snarky comments like "That's no fun" or "Wow, they HATE you" when making an order at a restaurant...if I want to order an egg white omelette with veggies and a side of fruit, honestly, what is it to you? How is that offensive to you or to the cook? It's how I like to eat now, it is what sounds best, so please drop it.


As a waitress, and a picky eater, this does not bother me in the least! I am happy to change things around. Happier when the tip reflects their gratitude :D Once when I brought out an extremely modified order, I said "Is that what you expected?" and she said "No.... I was expecting it to come out wrong."

grneyedmustang
07-09-2009, 08:08 PM
I hate the "You're not doing the right diet advice" either. For example, I told a friend of mine that I am doing South Beach. He gives me the spiel about how South Beach is an awful, low carb fad diet. I just listen to him rant and rave about how South Beach is such an awful diet. Then he proceeds to tell me that I need a diet that emphasizes good carbswhole grains/lean meats/veggies, and the elimination of refined flour, sugar, HFCS, and alcohol. That's pretty much South Beach in a nutshell, but I let him rant and rave and told him after he was done that I would continue on with South Beach because it's working for me. Go figure.

I'm starting to hear the "you're going to get too thin if you lose forty more pounds". Whatever. I don't think I'll be too thin at 190.

And I love Rebound's rant about "ground breaking articles" on weightloss...LOL.

HungryHungryHippo
07-10-2009, 12:08 AM
I hate magazine articles and medical experts who always have to one-up good eating. When they start differentiating between good and bad fruits, vegetables, or fish, I've had enough. (Although I get that there's a difference on Atkins.)

nooch
07-10-2009, 12:41 AM
People who give you endless crap for being fat, then make fun of you once you start losing weight. My husband has gotten crap from his mom for 26 years for being fat and now that he's down 14 pounds with 86 more to go, she's making fun of him because apparently making sure you don't inhale everything in the house is "girly".

JulieJ08
07-10-2009, 12:45 AM
I hate magazine articles and medical experts who always have to one-up good eating. When they start differentiating between good and bad fruits, vegetables, or fish, I've had enough. (Although I get that there's a difference on Atkins.)

Oh yeah, I hate dissecting whether apples are better than oranges, or almonds better than walnuts, or chickpeas vs black beans.

aphimira
07-10-2009, 01:15 AM
Another one that bother's me is when I say no thank you the brownies you just tried to pass me and you proceed to take a bite and say how good it is and the stupid "mmmm" at first it's angry followed by I'm so glad that's going to your thighs not mine :D

nooch
07-10-2009, 01:17 AM
Another one that bother's me is when I say no thank you the brownies you just tried to pass me and you proceed to take a bite and say how good it is and the stupid "mmmm" at first it's angry followed by I'm so glad that's going to your thighs not mine :D

Or people who will tell you in excruciating detail about the fabulous dessert they just had and then say OH WAIT, I FORGOT, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!

Sure I CAN, it's just not worth it to me! You aren't gonna get me to crack and feel bad or whatever response it is you're looking for, jerks of the world :D

Jinksie
07-10-2009, 01:22 AM
I dislike the people who are obviously thin -not necessarily healthy - go on about how fat they are.
And i used to date a guy who made commetns on the train about over weight people; while i was next to him at 105kilos (231lbs)

Tomato
07-10-2009, 10:16 AM
My latest pet peeve is my naturopath who, instead of administering acupuncture for my plantar fasciitis, decided she needs to treat the entire body and not only one specific part. So she did the body analysis and then gave me a long speech about not having enough water on the intracellular level and that the body is shifting the water into the extracellular space to dilute the toxins.
As per her, one way how to correct this is to replenish my electrolytes.

Fine, I think, I sweat like a pig when I exercise so maybe replenishing my electrolytes is not such a bad idea. The naturopath tells me (and I quote her): "You wouldn't want to be drinking Gatorade because it is FULL OF SUGAR AND OTHER CRAP". Then she proceeds to sell me electrolyte replenishment supplement, for $44. When I actually look at the label (afterwards, in the car) I find out that it is good for NINETEEN SERVINGS (so that's over $2 per serving) and each scoop contains ..... 23 grams of CARBOHYDRATES ... @ 120 calories. (At this point, I also need to mention that she knows, since we discussed it length, that I try very hard to consume as much protein as possible and cut down on my carbs because they are my pit fall and I always crave carbs).

Well gee, thanks, but I think I will handle my electrolytes on my own. I really felt like running back and whacking her on the head with the container. I returned it the next day (at the front desk) and I am going to tell her at my next appointment next week what I think of such a splendid product AND about being treated like a cash cow.

kiramira
07-10-2009, 02:41 PM
Ms Tomato, you have amazing self-restraint!!! I would have done a drive-by throwing of the container at the front window of her clinic!

As a health care professional myself, it always makes me uncomfortable when I see a place that offers a diagnosis and then sells products as remedies. In my profession, this is seriously against our code of conduct and those who do this are subject to disciplinary measures, fines, and loss of licensure if the professional doesn't comply. The reason is that we consider it a conflict of interest, because the products are sold for profit, and to increase the intake of the business, it is easy to push the sales of these particular products. And patients or clients will listen to the professional advice and often purchase the product on the basis of that professional opinion. Even if there isn't any intention, it just, well, kind of smells bad, ya know?

I'm glad that you returned the product, and let us know how your next appointment goes!

:hug:

Kira

RubyGuggenheim
07-10-2009, 03:33 PM
I love most of my interactions since I started losing. My friends and family are very supportive and never make snide comments. Sometimes people comment on the fact that I seem to eat a lot considering the weight loss, but I just explain that I eat three square meals a day, do not snack, do not drink soda, and jog 6 miles most days, so it all works out for the best.

Lori Bell
07-10-2009, 04:15 PM
As someone else mentioned, I can't stand the, "How much more do you plan to lose?" & "Oh you don't need to lose anymore!" discussion. If you don't think I need to lose more than why did you ask me how much more I was going to lose? If you thought I was fine the way I am then why is it even an issue? What if my answer was, "NONE". Would you tell me I need to keep going? When people gain weight do you ask "How much more do you plan to gain?" It's a loaded question, and my answer is never the correct one. Ugh...

One other thing has been bothering me lately and maybe it's just my imagination, but it seemed like the few slimmer friends I have were always the most supportive in the beginning, but now that I'm nearing their weight, or maybe a tad bit smaller than one, they have changed their tune a little. Maybe I'm annoying, (though, I try not to talk about weight much to people outside of 3FC because it IS annoying to some), but they seem different. I can't place my finger on it, but it's kind of like they want me thinner, but not thinner than them... IDK, maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Niecy
07-10-2009, 04:27 PM
Lori Bell: people in general can be so catty. Overweight or skinny. I was in great shape physically at one time in my life. My husband and I went out dancing EVERY weekend and that on top of exercising kept me that way. When I became pregnant with my second child, I immediately gained weight. I would say I gained 3/4 of the total weight gained by my 5th month. I worked in the public sector and a girl that had already made a remark about me to my best friend not knowing she was my best friend (and this girl didn't even know ME) walked right up and said "WOW, you have GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT!" and was like even SMILING about it. I wanted to say DUH! I am 5 months pregnant you idiot! But I managed to keep it civil.

You look great so I wouldn't let it get to you! People can find ways to be weird for all sorts of reasons. But especially about weight.

beerab
07-10-2009, 04:31 PM
One other thing has been bothering me lately and maybe it's just my imagination, but it seemed like the few slimmer friends I have were always the most supportive in the beginning, but now that I'm nearing their weight, or maybe a tad bit smaller than one, they have changed their tune a little. Maybe I'm annoying, (though, I try not to talk about weight much to people outside of 3FC because it IS annoying to some), but they seem different. I can't place my finger on it, but it's kind of like they want me thinner, but not thinner than them... IDK, maybe I'm reading too much into it.

I remember there was a girl either here or on a blog who said when she lost her weight and she wasn't the "fat" friend anymore and guys started hitting on her, her "friends" told her they liked her better fatter.

I said get new friends :)

teresab
07-10-2009, 04:40 PM
When I became pregnant with my second child, I immediately gained weight. I would say I gained 3/4 of the total weight gained by my 5th month. I worked in the public sector and a girl that had already made a remark about me to my best friend not knowing she was my best friend (and this girl didn't even know ME) walked right up and said "WOW, you have GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT!" and was like even SMILING about it. I wanted to say DUH! I am 5 months pregnant you idiot! But I managed to keep it civil.


When a very naturally skinny friend of mine was pregnant, we had a customer in the salon (we were both hairdressers) who said to her "So how does it feel to be fat now?" At her biggest with her 10lb baby, my friend weighed a little over 130. Her mouth just dropped open and she didn't know what to say. But I know she wanted to mess up that woman's hair!

kiramira
07-10-2009, 09:45 PM
Lori Bell, it may be that you've been in a "category" with your friends for so long -- you know, "the chubby funny one" or "the big one amongst us". And I'll bet dollars to carrot sticks that they thought "well, I'll support her, but she won't make it". And now that you are where you are, you don't "fit" into the category anymore. And this can be pretty scary for some people, because the whole dynamic is changing and they don't have ANY control over it...And you've changed too! You MUST have changed, and this is scary, too...

I remember shopping with 2 friends and I was fitting into really cute stuff and I was smaller than one of the women (finally!). And she turned to the other friend and said "She looks really good. She's not ALLOWED to look better than us." I think that sums it up on so many levels -- I fit into a box in the relationship and the relationship was changing and it made her uncomfortable. We are still friends, but I've lost more since our last shopping trip and she hasn't mentioned a thing...I think she's just trying to work things out in her head. But it just may be that this relationship won't last...:(

Kira

mandalinn82
07-10-2009, 09:53 PM
And she turned to the other friend and said "She looks really good. She's not ALLOWED to look better than us."

Oh, how awful. But I know how you feel! Post weight loss, I was in my sisters wedding 3 months after my own. I was told, and I quote, "Your job as bridesmaid is to be fatter than me at my wedding. And I don't want to hear about it because I was bigger than you at yours".

And when I didn't acheive that "goal", I was told it was OK to wear giant heels, so as to make myself generally Amazon-ish, and apparently that was sufficient.

kiramira
07-10-2009, 10:30 PM
:rofl:

I can just SEE you in enormous clunky wedgie heels, in a bad polyester bridesmaid dress, trying to blend into the background because the bride wants you to look bigger than you are because you OWE her...
The only thing worse would be if the dress looked like this, but in burgundy..

Your achievement deserves celebration!

Kira

Niecy
07-10-2009, 11:27 PM
GAH!!!! lol, Kira.

I think I would be "out of town" and so sorry to miss my best friends wedding if I was told I had to wear this dress! haha.

dragonwoman64
07-11-2009, 12:19 PM
I had a neighbor lady that I'm friendly with compliment me on my weight loss, then say, "Make sure you don't get too skinny!" thought that was just too funny.

drives me a bit batty when bf will say, well, it's ok to have a little of X, you have to have balance.... then if I don't see the results I want at the end of the week on the scale: well, if you didn't overindulge so much, you know you'd do better....

GGGGGRRRRRRRRR