100 lb. Club - Clever answer needed




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Keillynsmom
07-09-2009, 02:42 PM
So I saw a friend who hasn't seen me in a while and she took a look and asked, "So when did you have the surgery?" I knew she meant it to be mean ("you've obviously taken the easy way out, since I can't lose weight..." -- though I can't imagine WLS be the "easy way out"). I kind of felt flummoxed for a minute then just said I'd been going to the Y alot and left it at that. I was irritated I felt so flat footed (along with the implication that since she can't lose her weight, I couldn't possibly be losing mine).

Any better/cleverer answers out there?

Thanks,

Barb


matt_H
07-09-2009, 02:44 PM
I guess I would have said "I didn't" and leave it at that. What a rude question to ask someone!

Lori259
07-09-2009, 02:58 PM
I would have said "I haven't but when Are you having yours?"
Since she was obviously being rude about it.
Then maybe she will think twice before being a "BUTT" again.
Sometimes people can just be rude~I am rude back (sometimes) just so they quit bullying me....And usually it works.

GOOD LUCK


JulieJ08
07-09-2009, 03:03 PM
I think I would have said "Huh???"

Just remember that people are mean because they are unhappy. Tell yourself, "Poor girl. That's the best she can do." I know, easier said than done, I have to remind myself a lot. But it really does help keep their negativity from getting under your skin.

Rosinante
07-09-2009, 03:03 PM
I'd have probably just said, I didn't.

I might have said I was having a friendectomy but it would probably just be classier to ignore her.

Rosinante
07-09-2009, 03:04 PM
insane site rptd me.

david
07-09-2009, 03:05 PM
you answered her question...we dont need people like that in our lives....just add her to the list of motivators turn her bad energy into your good energy and feel good knowing that shes worrying about you wayyy more than youre worrying about her!!

Thighs Be Gone
07-09-2009, 03:10 PM
Oooh...friend-amee alert big time!

Don't waste being clever on that one. Catch the next flight out!

kiramira
07-09-2009, 03:15 PM
I think I would have said, "I haven't had any surgery. My skin looks so great because I'm using this AMAZING new cream -- brand X -- and I'm so glad you noticed! The box says that it can erase 5 years off your face!!! You should try it -- lets go to the drugstore and see if it is there."

She probably won't say much after that, and you DID answer her question.

If she persists, I'd say "Oh, don't be silly!" and leave it at that!

Kira

cfmama
07-09-2009, 03:22 PM
I've had that said to me... what I said "huh?" and then "what surgery?"

that usually flabbergasts them ;)

DCHound
07-09-2009, 03:26 PM
Actually got in an argument with a co-worker I hadn't seen since last year about this. She kept saying, "but you HAD to have had surgery, it's just not possible to lose that much weight that fast otherwise." Well, yes it is, if you are determined, dedicated and weight loss is the #1 most important thing in your life. Ain't that right girls?

I finally offered to take her in the ladies' and show her my (invisible, because it doesn't exist) scar. Then she shut up and moved along.

beerab
07-09-2009, 03:27 PM
Yeah that sucks- I mean it's like REALLY- REALLY do you have to go there? Why not just say wow you look great!

I would have said "what surgery?" and if she kept on going I would have said "though weight loss surgery isn't the "easy" way to lose weight, I did it with dieting and exercising, the good old fashioned way. Thanks for the support."

I agree maybe it's time to cut the friendship strings.

ETA- I just noticed you lost over 100 lbs- that's AMAZING GIRL!

JulieJ08
07-09-2009, 03:32 PM
If she persists, I'd say "Oh, don't be silly!" and leave it at that!

Nice :D I have to try to remember that one. I love responses to negativity that don't just pile on more negativity.

stargzr
07-09-2009, 03:38 PM
Ok, since I am naturally blunt and seem to think quickly to be rude back, here's the conversation I would have had:
Her: "So when did you have the surgery?"
Me: "What surgery?"
Her: "To lose weight"
Me: "There'sa surgery to lose weight? Man where have I been living?! Besides, I haven't lost weight! This outfit is new though!"
I would think at this point she would be a bit confused haha. At which point I just turn and walk away.

matt_H
07-09-2009, 03:38 PM
Actually got in an argument with a co-worker I hadn't seen since last year about this. She kept saying, "but you HAD to have had surgery, it's just not possible to lose that much weight that fast otherwise." Well, yes it is, if you are determined, dedicated and weight loss is the #1 most important thing in your life. Ain't that right girls?


...and guys.

Yes, right!

Trazey34
07-09-2009, 03:41 PM
I'd say "I decided to start with the FORK instead of the KNIFE" hahah I crack me up :D

time2lose
07-09-2009, 04:02 PM
I would take the "kill'em with kindness" route - "I did not have any surgery. Just lost the weight the old fashion way, diet and exercise. I would be glad to go into more detail if you are interested." Just beam while saying it. Let your happiness about this show.

If her goal is to be mean and hurt you, just let it roll off of your back. She is the one hurting.

PS - 112 pounds lost!!! Congratulations, you should be beaming!

LisaF
07-09-2009, 04:05 PM
From what you said, it doesn't sound like she was trying to be mean or hurtful. Did she really sound like she meant to imply that you weren't able to do it, or do you think it was maybe that she doesn't want to imagine that it's possible to achieve what you did without surgery, because it makes her feel like a failure for not having done so as well?

I probably would have responded, "Surgery? Oh, no. This is all hard work and determination."

Lisa

Windchime
07-09-2009, 04:26 PM
I'd say "I decided to start with the FORK instead of the KNIFE" hahah I crack me up :D


Trazey, that's actually a really cute response! It's clever without being mean in return and it lets her know that you've lost weight with hard work and a better diet. Perfect!

Breeezie
07-09-2009, 04:49 PM
I might have made some comment about HER needing surgery - to remove her head from her behind....

but that's just me. ;-)

kaplods
07-09-2009, 05:06 PM
I'm a chattie Cathy. I love to talk, to friends, family, strangers.... Anyone who talks as much as me, is bound to insert foot in mouth occasionally - and I've done so on many occasions. So, I try to be very understanding when other people say stupid stuff without thinking (hey, it happens to almost everyone eventually).

That being said, I tend to react to other people's stupid comments the way I do when I make them, I laugh my *** off. Laughter works absolutely great, because it almost always causes embarassment. If the person meant it snidely, they get embarassed AND angry (at you), and if the person wasn't trying to be mean they get embarassed and if they get angry, it's with themselves, or they start laughing at themselves. Either way, it's a win-win for me.

As for a clever answer, I would suggest, "I'm scheduled for next month, but I've been doing so well on my own, I think I'm going to cancel."

A friend of mine is always being asked "when is the baby due?" and she either says "in about 10 months or so," or gives them a date nine months in the future (she just subtracts three months - so if someone asked her today she'd tell them April 9). It's too far in the past to be an overdue baby, so if someone were really paying attention they would "get it," but she says it's amazing how many people don't even listen to her answer enough to know what she's saying. They just keep chatting "oh, do you know if it's a boy or a girl..." Or they get a strange look on their face, like they know something is wrong with the answer, but don't quite get what it is.

People (even smart, wonderful people) can be idiots sometimes.

kiramira
07-09-2009, 05:12 PM
A friend of mine is always being asked "when is the baby due?" and she either says "in about 10 months or so," or gives them a date nine months in the future (she just subtracts three months - so if someone asked her today she'd tell them April 9.

A bit OT, but funny story:
When I was at my biggest, I decided to do Aquafit at my local Y. But the ONLY class that fit with my schedule was the PRE-NATAL class. So I just, well, WENT. I figured that I was indeed "pre-natal" as I hadn't given birth yet (nor was I pregnant). I had a great time. The class was amazing. And noone asked any questions (which was great for my schedule but kind of depressing that I looked "expectant" at that time..)

SOMETIMES being bigger CAN have advantages...

:lol:

Kira

sprklemajik
07-09-2009, 05:43 PM
Hopefully she wasn't trying to be mean, but if so... one of my favorite responses I think I've heard on here is:

"did you just say that out loud?"

It doesn't really require saying anything more.

SnowboundChick
07-09-2009, 05:50 PM
How rude! Sorry I have no quick answers for you but looks like you got a lot already. You are doing awesome by the way, not that you didn't already know that!

JulieJ08
07-09-2009, 06:03 PM
So I just, well, WENT. I figured that I was indeed "pre-natal" as I hadn't given birth yet (nor was I pregnant).

I've been postnatal ever since I was born ;)

thisisnotatest
07-09-2009, 06:59 PM
My mom can be a true b**ch sometimes. So something I have been doing over the last few years is to just stick my middle finger up at her and pretend like I'm not doing it. I just laugh and say 'what?'
She ends up laughing and it stops whatever nonsense she was 'commenting' on from becoming a heated fight.
I should note that I'm almost 40 and wouldn't have dared when I was younger.

Lori259
07-10-2009, 01:00 AM
I might have made some comment about HER needing surgery - to remove her head from her behind....

but that's just me. ;-)

I agree Totally!:D

Madison
07-10-2009, 01:11 AM
How rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My friend has had people say that to her too. Not that surgery isnt a viable option if that is what makes sense for you, but she hasnt had any either. The fact that my friend runs marathons now should have alerted people to the fact that her whole life has changed.

Just goes to show, people who have nothing to say should zip it :D

time2lose
07-10-2009, 09:59 AM
"I decided to start with the FORK instead of the KNIFE"

I love this one. If said with a smile, you make a point with humor.

david
07-10-2009, 02:51 PM
i just spit out my coffee....this, dont flip your mother off...too funny!!! btw i lost 2 more lbs if anyones listening

kiramira
07-10-2009, 03:13 PM
BIG shout-out to David for the 2lbs (GOD I want a 2 lb weight loss week...JEALOUS :D) We ARE listening and we ARE rooting for ya! :carrot: :carrot: :carrot:
So TOTALLY keep it up!
And I agree -- flipping the bird to MOM -- my mom is 82 and that would pretty much finish her off...
:rofl:
Kira

ANewCreation
07-10-2009, 03:18 PM
Congrats David on loosing 2#! Awesome!

I am loving these comebacks but truth be told the older I get the more honest I am trying to be with people when they make any kind of disturbing remarks. So, that being said I'd probably just say something like: "What do you mean by that?" or "Why would you say that to me?".

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar066/slider-but8/lb/253/150/247/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)

Elladorine
07-10-2009, 04:05 PM
In a situation like that, I think I tend to kill people with kindness. I'd probably play innocence against a snarky attitude and ask why on earth they would suggest such a thing. :D

GirlyGirlSebas
07-11-2009, 02:21 PM
"did you just say that out loud?"
I really do need to remember this one. Lately, I've been dealing with a rather blunt and oftentimes rude person. I honestly don't know if she realizes how rude her comments are sometimes. The other day, she was talking about how difficult it was for her to find clothing for herself as she is "just as wide as she is tall." Then, she said "but, at least I don't have to try finding clothes for stick thin legs with very large hips." Uh....excuse me? Where in the heck did that come from? Now, I find myself very self conscious about something that never bothered me before. I really can't believe she said that out loud.

kiramira
07-11-2009, 02:27 PM
A great answer is "yeah, that would be TERRIBLE! I'm glad I don't have trouble finding clothes to fit me..."

Take her comment for what it is worth. She sounds like she needs to tear others down to make her feel good about herself, so it isn't about YOU. And if you were both at an ideal weight, it would be about hair, or makeup, or shoes, or SOMETHING...

:hug:

Kira