Life has been a little crazy in the past few years, and unfortunately I feel I've used that fact as an excuse to do nothing about my weight. But I've given myself a long, hard look in the mirror this past week and have decided it's time to wake up.
I'm 5' 8", 33 years old, and have spent most of my adult life at a size 22-24. I'm not sure what I was at my largest, but I was somewhere over 360 pounds and unable to fit in the largest jeans they had in the plus size section of the store. The day I realized they had no jeans to fit me was a wake-up call. I worked my way down to my current weight in several months by eating sensibly and exercising, but after hitting a plateau I kinda gave up and have stayed about the same for almost 5 years. Well, at least I haven't gained any of it back?
So I'm currently around 285 pounds, just a little over what I was in high school. My ultimate goal is 150, but I would be ecstatic to make it down to around 220 when I was a size 14. Heck, I'd just love to have a waist again. My biggest problem these days is that I lack motivation and discipline. I'm not currently working so I don't have any type of set schedule, and since I'm not working I haven't really had a chance to go out and make friends. I live with my boyfriend but it gets lonely as he works a lot.
I'm anxious for summer to be over. I've always had trouble dealing with the heat and this move I've made to the desert has been hard. And since I don't have a car during the day I spend way too much time shut indoors.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I did a bit of lurking before signing up and found a lot of inspirational stories. I'm hoping to make friends and find some motivation to feel better not only physically, but emotionally.
Thanks for the space to rant. :hug:
07-09-2009, 06:32 AM
Congratulations on what you've lost already, and on your commitment to take it further.
I agree it's not easy when you've no daily routine. This week I've been working from home, and all I've wanted to do is sit on the sofa and eat calories.....
Would it be possible for you to sit down and design yourself a daily timetable? Even down to at 10o'clock house work, at 11:00 go shopping, that kind of thing? Too much blank time ruins my eating.
07-09-2009, 07:12 AM
I'm so glad that you're here and ready to make a change. There is no reason for you to spend your life not being the very best you that you can be.
My biggest problem these days is that I lack motivation and discipline.
Okay. So work on solving those problems. Make a list of all the reasons to lose weight - clothes, the heat, the lack of energy, your health, feel better - physically and emotionally - and so on. But don't rely on motivation. It's never around when the chocolate and the fried chicken is - commitment - that's what's needed and sticks around a whole lot longer then motivation ever will. Make a commitment to do this. Once and for all. This amazing, life transformation that you will never, ever regret.
Discipline - I found for me, once the desire to be thin and healthy outweighed, overtook and overpowered the desire for the high calorie/high quantity food I finally found/seeked out/demanded discipline from myself. I wanted "it" so badly, that I stuck with my healthy eating/exercising no matter what. That being said, I set myself up for success - by having a plan in place, mapping out all of my food AHEAD of time, in advance. I didn't throw needless temptation in my face, meaning I rid the house of junk and went out to restaurants rarely and only if they had excellent food choices. I stocked my home with delicious HEALTHY, lower calorie foods. I counted calories to keep myself in line - it's built in portion control, accountability and sets my limits for me. I also made a lot of food laws and rules for me to adhere to. Definite NO's and all that. I also got excited about the changes I was about to make. I didn't dread this journey. I knew that if I stuck to it that the end of my misery was near. I never felt deprived not eating "those foods", but deprived REMAINING morbidly obese. I told myself and felt that THAT was the real deprivation. Not passing up on some fattening, nutrient sparse foods.
And I agree with Ailidh - MAKE yourself a schedule.
Each and every obstacle and challenge there IS a workable solution. I urge you to find it. You will never, ever regret making the decision to be a trim & healthy person. Losing weight IS a doable thing and you too can do it. All the best. :)
07-09-2009, 07:18 AM
Would it be possible for you to sit down and design yourself a daily timetable?
Thanks for all the comments, and yes, the part I quoted is exactly what I need to do.
I do a small amount of work at home, and since it's few and far between with liberal deadlines it's easy to put off until "whenever I feel like it." It seems that attitude has sunk into everything I do.
I look back to the two times in my life that I lost a considerable amount of weight, and each time I became very organized with not only keeping track of what I ate, but my whole schedule. When I lost that organization and daily routine, I stopped eating right and exercising. It's interesting to note that there's a connection with it all . . .
07-09-2009, 07:20 AM
Congratulations Sirenity for taking the step and joining 3FC :) . That's one step forward towards a new healthy you. :cp:
I agree with Ailidh, it's not as easy when there's no routine to follow. I find myself more focused during weekdays vs. weekends.
Have you thought about what plan you'd like to follow? There are lot of diet forums on 3FC (Weight Watchers, South Beach, Atkins, Calorie Counters etc.). Also, it's very easy to get overwhelmed in the beginning when trying to focus on so many things. I admit, when I began my lifestyle change (I rather not think of it as diet) my main focus was to get my eating in control. I decided to count calories as part of my lifestyle change. I figured exercise will follow. You see, I hate to workout, but I also realize it's necessary for a new healthy me. I didn't even begin working out until after a month or so. You have to remember it is baby steps as you're in this for the long haul :D. But make sure you pick a time during a day when you do workout and then stick with it. So easy to go 'eh I'll do it later, maybe in an hour'. Then that later never comes. Initially, I started working out 3 times/week for 20 mins and then slowly build on it.
Do you have cable TV? There are lot of workout shows provided free on "on-demand", and for most of them you don't even need any special equipment. Also, if you google for some I bet you'll come up with lots of workout videos and instructions that you can follow within the comfort of your home. I like about.com website. There's also a channel called FitTV that shows several aerobic style workouts that you can follow with them.
Since, you're starting fresh, I believe the best thing would be to sit down and read about all the different resources available and decide what diet/lifestyle change path you'd like to follow. Chalk out a schedule for yourself as to what you'd like to do every day. It's easier to stick to a plan when you have a routine rather than not have one. But, then, everyone is different. ;)
We're all here to motivate you and help you with any questions or concerns. We know it's not an easy path but worth following. Good luck and hope you stay with us :D
07-09-2009, 07:48 AM
rockinrobin- I've read through your post carefully and appreciate every word. I've got a lot of work ahead of me but I know I can do it. In the short time I've been here this morning I've found a ton of inspiration from people like you, and I'm sure I'll be looking back to all the advice in this thread for a long time to come. :)
pintobean- Thanks! I might go back to a diet a nutritionist handed to me a few years back that worked rather well when I stuck with it (it doesn't have an official "name" but it encourages variety while allowing unlimited amounts of certain veggies and specific amounts of suggested proteins, fruits, and grains). In the meantime I've got some reading, research, and planning to do.
I do believe I used to have a food addiction, but it's something I got over in time. Unfortunately I've become a "lazy cook" in recent years, grabbing food that's pre-made and convenient instead of taking the time to fix up something that is fresh and healthy. I actually love salads made from spinach and veggie burgers and the like, and I'm not much for red meat. But somehow fatty foods are just . . . easier? Plus I enjoy eating out since it's about the only time I get to out period (other than grocery shopping). That needs to change as well. The total lack of exercise certainly doesn't help either . . .
Once the weather cools down I'd like to start taking walks again, one of my favorite activities. In the meantime I really should look into what I can find for videos, as I've got plenty of room by the tv and computer to move around. Something I really used to enjoy is swimming, maybe sometime in the future I can get a membership at a Y or rec center to swim laps like I did when I was in my 20's.
07-09-2009, 08:01 AM
GREAT exercise video - Leslie Sansone's Walking Away the Pounds. They're easy to follow and fast and effective. GREAT way to get yourself moving. The 1, 2, & 3 Mile Express is perfect for beginners and even beyond.
For me, eating delicious foods was a must and a major priority. I figured if the healthy on plan foods that I eat are yummy, there's a whole lot of a less reason to go off plan. I really took my cooking abilities up to the next level. Make it an adventure. Become passionate about this whole lifestyle. Get really, really, really into it. It will then be a pleasure and not some burden.
07-09-2009, 08:23 AM
Welcome Sirenity to 3FC and to claiming the woman you are meant to be. :hug:
I'm recently back to living a healthy lifestyle after putting a lot of weight on over this past year. It started for me when I finally accepted that I'm a compulsive over-eater and that food is my addiction. Being forearmed with this knowledge has sort of set me free, so that now I can fight against the old me as the new me emerges.
As our hero Robin says over and over this is about you making a commitment to changing your life. You must develop a working plan that you can embrace, not as a temporary diet, but as a way of life. There is a wealth of good information on this board and the encouragement you will receive is always readily available.
You can do it!!! :carrot:
07-09-2009, 01:33 PM
Just wanted to say welcome! :welcome2:
07-09-2009, 01:54 PM
I am new and really dont have any advice to give except Welcome!
07-09-2009, 02:32 PM
Wow, our sizes sound quite similar. You must have a lot of muscle too. Big hands and feet or just lucky with how you carry your weight? I wear a 12/13 shoe. My weight is very evenly distributed all over...but now I have a relatively tiny waist (which is quite great when clothes shopping).
At my high weight, @ 370, I was a Catherine's 30/32 and could no longer squeeze into my LB jeans and still breathe. I didn't own jeans for five years. At about 300 lbs I was a comfortable 24. Now at 250-ish lbs I am comfortably wearing Gloria Vanderbilt 16 misses jeans/random XL shirts from Costco and 14 blouses from Lane Bryant. Friends who are also dieting usually guess my weight at an even 200 lbs...which is great.
Welcome to 3FC! You are going to do GREAT!!!
Alana in Canada
07-09-2009, 02:52 PM
Hi! and welcome!
It sounds like you have made the committment to be haelthier and slimmer--hooray! That's a huge first step cause nothing else happens without it.
I am a sahm and don't have a car during the day, either. Hubby used to work long hours, too. Once in a while I declare I'm "taking the car" and I just go out--alone!
Sometimes I just run an errand or two--last night I went to a second hand shop and just looked around. (We're broke, so I do my best not to buy things unless it's "perfect.") My favourite place to go is the library, though. I'll just sit and read magazines!
Find "free" ways to keep yourself from going stir-crazy. It's important.
07-09-2009, 05:32 PM
Welcome! There is not much I can add to all the great advice you've already gotten, so welcome to the board and I look forward to reading your posts.
07-09-2009, 06:06 PM
Welcome :) I too reached a little over 360 and the wake up call was when i was in the biggest size jean (size 32 in Avenue) available in the store. You have made good progress already and you can do it :)
07-09-2009, 07:01 PM
First of all, welcome. I am new here too (this is my first post with a signature and I am sooooo excited about it).
I lurked for a bit too and felt so stuck, feeling that I had no positive motivation. 3FC helped me to get going, but I think also allowing myself mentally to sink a bunch of time into this lifestyle change has also been really important. It has been really helpful to give myself time to read the forums and to post when I want. It helps get my mind into a mode of thinking that I can change from what I've been doing all of my life. (I'm the same age [and height] as you and can remember kids commenting about my weight way back in kindergarten.)
I have found the Whole Foods Lifestyle Forum really helpful as I also want to be able to eat lots of veggies. My husband is a vegetarian, so I also eat little meat during the week.
Contrary to another poster, I have felt both empowered and freed by not joining a program. I was so sick of giving my money to someone else expecting them to fix my problem. I know the healthy way to lose weight already, so following someone else's rules just made me crazy after dealing with overweight all of my life. So every time I would try another program I would fizzle out after 10 -21 days and become even more discouraged. But, as you can see I'm just getting started. Hopefully this time for me will be different!
Admittedly, I've dropped some of my mental whining that was telling me I couldn't really change and that I was destined to my mom's health problems. Also, I've stopped the time wasting search of looking for the perfect, easy, fast, accessible diet tracker. I have been finding the free account on FitDay really great for what I need and that tracking my food has actually been freeing this time around. I even got in a treat at the end of a day when I still had a few calories left available because of my tracking.
Also, knowing that even the successful losers like Rockin'Robin still deal with hunger and not feeling "full" has helped me in a big way! This may sound odd, but I am associating much less the physical sensation of "not full" with being alone. So, I don't feel like I'm reaching for food as often for the wrong reason.
Good luck. You've shown that you can both lose and maintain a weight loss. So, I'm envious of YOU!! But, I guess for now we're in this together, though it may be a long walk to reach our goals! :hug:
P.S. Thanks for letting me share and I hope that didn't all sound like I think I've figured it all out after losing 1 pound! I just feel like in the past 3 weeks I've been making important mental changes that are going to be key for my evolving healthy lifestyle.
07-09-2009, 07:11 PM
Welcome Sirenity! I second Robins suggestion to give Leslie Sansones videos a try. I found a few at Walmart for five dollars a piece and really like them. It might break up your day a bit to do a mile in the morning and then another mile in the afternoon. They're fun, easy and the time passes very quickly.
Hang around, post often and let us know how you're doing!
07-09-2009, 08:35 PM
Rockinrobin~ Cool, I'll check out the videos when I get a chance. :D And as for food, it's fortunate that I already like a lot of healthy foods. I think my main challenge now will be to balance between what I should eat and what my boyfriend wants. He's an extremely picky eater and probably won't touch half the foods I'll need to prepare for myself, so I'm going to have to talk to him about our food prep and eating arrangements. I was on the best diet ever when I was living alone, lol.
Pita09~ Thanks. :hug: And that's right, we have to embrace who we honestly are if we're to change ourselves for the better, and I know I have a lot of soul-searching to do. And I know I can make those changes. We all can! :) I'll keep checking back with everyone and update myself with the latest news, inspiration, and encouragement.
CLCSC145~ Thank you. :)
Scarletmeshell~ We all start out as newbies, right? Thanks for the welcome. :)
DCHound~ I was about to post a before and after photo so you could see for yourself, but I realized I need 25 posts before I can do that. D'oh! Oh well, that just means I need to get cracking with replies! ;) Anyway, most of my weight seems to be centered on my tummy, although I feel I'm pretty evenly proportioned for my size (I wear a size 10 shoe, btw). And now that I think about it, my tummy seems to be the biggest problem when trying on clothes, which makes it hard to find anything comfortable or even remotely flattering. That's awesome you're down to a 16 for jeans, I'd just love to get down there myself soon. :D
Alana in Canada~ Yeah, I'm thinking I need to venture forth on my own more often. A problem I'm having right now is that I sort of have a phobia of my boyfriend's car because it's a stick-shift. I have learned to drive it (and wow, was that ever a struggle!), but being in a big, busy, and still unfamiliar city I get all nervous being by myself. Silly I know, but it's been one of many frustrating things I've had to adapt to since I've moved and I've felt far from independent. Everything's been so overwhelming, but I'm sure once I feel better about myself I'll be able to tackle the obstacles that contribute to my self-consciousness.
SowboundChick~ Thank you for the welcome! :)
Nelie~ Wow, thank you so much for relating, it means a lot. :D
FutureFitChick~ Woo-hoo, congrats on having your signature, I can't wait for mine! :D I was actually extremely skinny when I was in the first part of grade school, then puberty, allergies, and asthma hit me all at once. Between going on different meds and being excused from gym class and even the school stairs when I hit junior high . . . well, you can imagine what happened to my weight and self-esteem. I buried myself into eating away my frustrations which of course, only mane things worse. Luckily I think my eating plan in 2004 helped me curb that, but I need to push myself back into even healthier habits.
I totally agree with what you say, that it must be helpful to take the time to let all this new and positive way of thinking sink in, to sort of switch modes. I must say I've never done well with "programs," aside from what the nutritionist gave me a few years back, which I eventually formed my own rules around and have done well with. I just need to keep myself from getting lazy and slipping away from it again. ;)
I know I've spent a lot of time "mentally whining" myself! That I couldn't get myself to care about much of anything, let alone taking care of my health. The last relationship I was in was mentally abusive, and my current relationship was very draining in the beginning since it started out long-distance (I'm still in that relationship now, thankfully I'm finally with "the one" and that it's no longer long distance). Moving to be with him and adapting my whole life has been hard though, and even now I find myself getting homesick.
And yes, we are in this together. Thank you for your wonderful post. I do feel those early mental changes are among the most important. :hug:
Tai~ Thanks for the tips! I'll do my best to drop by every day to stay encouraged and up to date. :)
07-09-2009, 11:24 PM
Just wanted to say welcome :) It's late, had a a long day, and my brain is totally exhausted or I'd say more....looks like the ladies before me pretty much covered it lol
07-10-2009, 02:04 AM
Welcome welcome to our little home on the web! I too started at over 360 lbs (377 to be exact) and am down to 248 in just over 9 months. I'm a calorie counter and I firmly believe in having a plan. I plan my day the night before and stick with it. Knowing what you are going to put in your mouth at every single meal and snack is SO HELPFUL because it takes the impulse and guess work out of it!
I wish you the best of luck. You've got some excellent advice to read through hear and I look forward to sharing this journey with you :)
07-10-2009, 02:19 AM
Congratulations on deciding to refocus on your health:) 3fatchicks is a great resource and place for support.
Some suggestions (YPMV - your psychology my vary!)
- Do not demand immediate perfection. Start with a few good habits. Start with things that you know work.
- Be kind to yourself and reward yourself for the changes you make. Even a star on a chart can be inspiring.
- Put emphasis on lifelong habits.
- Realise that you probably have an emotional and physiological attachment to some foods. Do not be surprise if you react irrationally to limiting them, i.e. binge or overeat. Learn what you can from it and move on. Going cold turkey off certain foods, or at least banishing them from the house may be necessary.
- Exercise is great preventative medicine and everyone should do some everyday. It gets easier! Much easier. Start with what you like (or at least don't hate), and then later add variety and intensity. Summer is a great time for evening walks, btw.
07-10-2009, 04:52 AM
RomanceDiva~ We all know the feeling. ;) Thanks for stopping by! :)
Cfmama~ Wow, so awesome to hear of your progress, especially with knowing that we started from a similar place. You give me much hope to stick with my plan this time around. :carrot:
Couch~ Thank you for all the amazing advice, it is very appreciated. I really am hoping to make some life-long changes with a little help here. :)