Weight Loss Support - Not sure what to think or say???

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07-08-2009, 09:57 PM
Since I started losing weight again this past May, I have lost roughly 16 lbs.

My father was the first to notice and commented on how my face looked so much thinner. This was after about 8 lbs lost. My mother in law also noticed a little change and commented. My kids and husband were/are the ones who could tell the most, I suppose because they see me every single day in all kinds of attire.

My father in law was really astonished at about the point where I had lost 12-13 lbs.

So last week, I had about 15 lbs out of the way and I went to my local convenience store for a cherry coke zero. The girl behind the counter who has worked there for years said "You straightened out your hair! It looks very nice". I said thank you and left it at that. That SAME afternoon, a neighbor was walking her dog and stopped to chat on my porch. She said "WOW, you had your hair highlighted. It looks fabulous"! I still didn't say anything about the weight but thanked her for her compliment.

Today, another neighbor came home from work and saw me on the porch, we exchanged greetings and he said "Oh, you had your hair cut. It looks very good!"

Ok, WHAT is going on here? lol No one is seeming to notice that 16 lbs are gone. And they are extremely enthusiastic about my hair "change". I finally did tell him that my hair is the same length, it has actually grown a little and I am in need of a trim and that 2 other people commented on my "changed" hair last week but that I have been straightening it for almost a year now and that I had it highlighted over a month ago and we both had a good laugh.

Does this happen to any of you? I would have thought 16 lbs would really show on me. I have always been a master at covering up my true weight with very tailored clothing but apparently I was better at it than I gave myself credit for, lol.

I called my mom, laughing but at the same time very confused and she thinks they do perhaps notice my face is thinner but attribute it to maybe a new hairstyle or something.

It is all so very strange yet amusing to me. I started at 166 in May, and I am beginning to wonder...was I a lot bigger than I THOUGHT I was? Or do I just carry extra weight well?

07-08-2009, 10:06 PM
No one commented on my weight loss until I had lost over 60lbs. It actually didnt bother me, I just got on with the job that I had to do ;)

Also, people who do see us every day see all of 'us' . . .the the personality all that good stuff so often the weight is not noticeable. My friends and family actually look at my "before" pics and say that they never realised I was so big . . . they always saw me as just me.

Keep doing what you are doing (well done on the 16 btw!!!) :)

07-08-2009, 10:27 PM
I've lost 52 pounds...and no one can see it either. Weird.

07-08-2009, 10:37 PM
Sue and Danni: That makes me feel horrible for you both that no one noticed such a big loss. It makes me wonder how many people **I** have failed to notice. I would just feel terrible to know that I did not notice. I always like to find ways to compliments others (completely sincere, of course) to root them on and especially when it comes to weight loss.

I am not really down about it. It is certainly nothing that would stand in the way of my progress (may even fuel it just a bit more, lol). Now, when I reach goal I do hope more people notice. Not a huge concern right now though. But kind of like Sue said, a little weird. This is the smallest I have been since having my son 5 yrs ago.

07-08-2009, 10:47 PM
It really didnt bother me at all. As long as my arse was shrinking I ws happy!

People started to notice around 60lbs lost . .. then nothing again til I was almost at goal. It was closer to goal that it bothered me bcos I was like hang on! I am down almost 100lbs and NONE of you people can seeeeeeeeeee the differece. And then like magic I took off another 10lbs and everyone could see it again.

I really think that people just see what they think you look like if that makes sense . . . and at the end of the day . . . we are all self centred ;) I mean that in the nicest possible way - everyone is so focussed on themselves that often we dont notice changes in others until we are almost caught off guard and then you go Whoa! Look at you!! When did this happen??

Meanwhile it was happening all along :D

07-08-2009, 10:49 PM
You have to realize people complain all the time on these forums about people commenting on their weight loss, even if they do it nicely. "My God, they clearly thought I was cow before!" Traditionally, it would be rude to comment on someone's weight, even positively. People are doomed if they do, doomed if they don't. You may just have to let people know it's OK to comment.

07-08-2009, 10:52 PM
I am guessing that the people who commented on your hair noticed that something was definitely different, but they just couldn't put their finger on it so they assumed it was your hair. I would just take the compliment for what it is and be happy--because they DID notice, they just didn't know what they were noticing!

Thighs Be Gone
07-08-2009, 10:55 PM
I lost about thirty pounds before anyone noticed. I would never, in a million years have drawn attention to myself by telling someone I lost weight--just not my way. Keep up the good work. You will be noticed. Trust me!

07-08-2009, 10:55 PM
I am guessing that the people who commented on your hair noticed that something was definitely different, but they just couldn't put their finger on it so they assumed it was your hair. I would just take the compliment for what it is and be happy--because they DID notice, they just didn't know what they were noticing!

This is what I was going to say. The last time I lost weight (lost about 50 pounds in HS) I got that all the time - "is that a new haircut?" "did you get your eyebrows waxed?" "is that a new shirt?" and I just wanted to say NO YOU MORONS I'VE BEEN WORKING MY *** OFF AND I'M NOW 20% SMALLER but I just smiled and replied appropriately.

07-08-2009, 10:57 PM
way to go on the weight loss

07-08-2009, 11:11 PM
Just focus on your success and keep up the awesome work :D :hug:

07-08-2009, 11:16 PM
Just focus of your efforts.

People are so wrapped up in themselves that it just takes a bit to notice. It you want priase, or need it....you will likely have to ask for it by telling people you lost weight and correct them that you hadn't made other changes. If that motivates you, go for it....then they will take closer notice.

07-08-2009, 11:47 PM
:lol: When I returned to Jamaica to visit friends after 7 months of not being there, and about 70 lbs lighter, a couple of the MEN asked me if I did something different to my hair because I looked different..... REALLY? :lol: Sometime's people are clueless. Don't sweat it.

07-08-2009, 11:52 PM
Thats why I love having online supporters - cos if the real life ones are not there you can come here and people who understand will be there to tell you that you are doing great baby!!!! :)

07-08-2009, 11:54 PM
Yup - people commented on my hair a lot - even when I did nothing different. They noticed SOMETHING had changed, but they didn't know WHAT.

And like others, it took 40 lbs before anyone notices that I had actually lost weight.

And then, only after I finally ditched my clothes, and bought some new second hand clothing that FIT my new body.

07-09-2009, 12:48 AM
Wow! ALL of you have brought up great, valid points that I didn't even think of! Makes me all the more thankful I found this site :hug:

ThighsBeGone, I am not sure if I could intentionally call attention to it either. I do talk to my husband and mother (mostly babble on and on about it, lol) but that is about it. Other than immediate family, I don't even think anyone else knows I am "dieting".

Nooch, that is so funny! I am glad you responded appropriately, LOL.

Counting down, the clothes could have a lot to do with it. I still wear my big t-shirts and capris around the house and it really could be the size issue. And then when I go out (except for the convenience store) I go for the fitted, tailored look.

Danni and Txestella, I think you are right. We all tend to be very wrapped up and obsessed with ourselves that these things can easily slip by.

Thank you all for the encouragement and kind words. It sure helps to know that a lot of you have been there, done that.

07-09-2009, 12:51 AM
I'd bet that these people never thought about your weight as much as you did. If you had GAINED 16 pounds they probably wouldn't have noticed. But now they see you and they just notice that you look especially GREAT!! It isn't a coincidence that you are getting so many compliments these days. Your weight isn't the first thing that comes to their minds, because they never focused on it before. Let yourself glow in the compliments!! Feeling good about yourself is better than highlights!

07-09-2009, 03:08 AM
Another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes people *do* notice, but are not saying anything out of politeness. After I had lost 20 some pounds, I confided in a female co-worker and she exclaimed that she HAD noticed and kept meaning to say something, but there were always men around (we work with mostly men) so she didn't want to say anything.

Now I've lost 35 or so and several women friends have noticed, so I'm guessing the male co-workers have as well but they're not saying anything. Most of them are married and this is a conservative town, so I can't imagine that they'll be saying anything to me about it ever. But I'm OK with that, because I notice!

Arctic Mama
07-09-2009, 05:20 AM
They definitely noticed the loss, they just didn't *realize* that was what changed :lol:

07-09-2009, 07:56 AM
Something about hair and weight loss! I had my hair cut after losing another 25lb (can't remember how much in total but 25 after restarting this year) and my husband told me week later that I look thinner with my hair shorter. I just said "nothing to do with the 25lb of weight I lost then" :)

07-09-2009, 08:07 AM
And then, only after I finally ditched my clothes, and bought some new second hand clothing that FIT my new body.

That's when people really notice. Clothes that fit properly work wonders. I've been getting a lot of comments recently 'you've lost more weight'. Well I really doubt that people are noticing the 3 or 4lbs I've lost since Easter but more likely that I'm wearing all new summer clothes.


07-09-2009, 09:55 AM
Daisy; you have a good point. Although 166 was still overweight (so is my now 150), it wasn't as unsightly as my high weight of 193.

Windchime, I do think women tend to gush over it more. It may have something more to do with we are more sensitive to it. A lady around the corner was about my size when she started walking a little over a year ago. This past winter she was still sticking to it and she looked fabulous. I never said anything like "hey, you've lost a ton of weight" or anything like that even though she had lost quite a bit. But I did make it a point to tell her she looked great. I could just see her face light up. Now that I think of it, it was just like Danni said. When did this happen? I had seen her walking almost everyday and didn't really notice the loss until winter. But my husband would have never said anything to her out of politeness.

Arctic Mama and Rainbow, I will take the hair compliments anyway, haha. My thyroid disease totally messed my hair up over the years (which is why I began having the salon chemically straighten my very naturally curly but kinky hair to smooth it out more).

Kitty, it may really be time for me to go shopping. I have a pair of blue jean capris that I kept for some reason from even before I got pregnant with my son over 5 yrs ago. They are an 8 and they fit for the first time. Not just button, but fit. Those and one pair of blue jean bermuda shorts are about the only size 8's I have right now. I am not too swift with taking measurements with a seamstress tape, but I believe I have lost about 9 inches 2 inches above the belly button and about 10 inches 2 inches below the belly button.

Lori Bell
07-09-2009, 10:34 AM
I always lose weight in my face first. I have gotten the hair compliment on several occasions. I always assumed that a thinner face made my hair lay differently. :)

On to compliments...You wouldn't believe how many men ask my husband about my weight loss, (that have never mentioned it to me). He told me one guy said to him that he would have said something to me, but "Some women are so sensitive about the subject!" He's a bright man. LOL

Thighs Be Gone
07-09-2009, 12:48 PM
LOL Lori Bell--people say things to my husband too. He comes home and tells me! Mine of course, isn't as drastic as yours. I didn't even tell my hubby last summer when I started taking care of myself. He noticed the first time in September. We were getting ready for Curriculum Night @ the school, standing in the closet. I had purchased a new blouse and had lost about 30 pounds. He looked at me and said, "your lookin' thinner." I replied, "I am?" LOL.

07-09-2009, 01:12 PM
Oh I get the hair comment all the time! At least once a week someone comments on my hair "I like your new hair cut" or "I love the new color" or something like that. Truth is I haven't cut or colored my hair in at least 5 months! I think it's just that they can see something is different but they're not necessarily sure what it is and changing one's hair is usually the most common.

Don't be frustrated or upset by their comments because you think they can't see you've lost weight. Even if they can't pinpoint it they HAVE noticed and think you are looking good so take the compliment and enjoy it!

07-09-2009, 02:02 PM
Lori, I did lose in my face first also, and then on to the chest. MUCH smaller than before but luckily my husband is more of a butt man, haha.

And yeah, the smart men know to tread lightly. I think the only reason my father in-law commented is because he has thyroid problems too and struggles with his weight tremendously. And then my father just because he is my father.

The dude next door probably commented because he is more sensitive to things like that. He is definitely not into women. He is cool though. Most of his friends are women so he probably hears about a lot of our problems, lol.

On a positive note, when I woke up this morning to make the kids lunches my husband commented on my legs for the first time.

07-09-2009, 03:42 PM
Your face looks thinner, so they think maybe it's a "new haircut" that is making it look that way. Just focus on the fact that they noticed that you are looking better... however they may think you got that way. :)

07-09-2009, 10:21 PM
Most people do not comment on my weight loss at all, and I've lost like 40 lbs.

07-09-2009, 10:40 PM
I was just about to start a similar thread when I saw this. I find it discouraging that nobody has noticed that I've lost 25lbs. I thought surely someone would see it. I'm wearing the same clothes, the only difference is that 25lbs ago I was bursting out of my pants and now they're very loose.

Not noticing me makes me feel like the weightloss didn't really even happen. I keep questioning myself and thinking that no matter what I'll always look fat to other people.

07-10-2009, 08:18 AM
One thought is that if you are wearing the same clothes, then you look the same to people--only you know that those pants are looser.

Get some new clothes--new to you at least--that fit your current size. All kinds of comments will occur.


07-11-2009, 03:15 AM
I think that most people do notice signifcant weight loss. But they've learned that the overweight are often very sensitive about this topic. So much safer to compliment hair than to broach this sensitive subject.