100 lb. Club - Again... And Struggling To Get My Mind Into It

07-02-2009, 07:15 AM
I'm back - again.

So about 1.5 years ago I got pregnant (after 6 years of infertility). At that point I was down 70lbs from my highest weight. I gained 40lbs with my pregnancy & had a terrible fight with gestational diabetes (despite being super strict with my diet we really struggled to get my numbers under control I ended up on high doses of insulin).

My baby boy is now 8 months old & I'm at the same weight as I was at the end of the pregnancy (actually back to that weight as I was down 20lbs a week out but have managed to gain it back).

I am nursing but that has been of no help.

I am really struggling to get my head into it. I have all the motivation in the world. With the gestational diabetes & pcos (& therefore insulin resistance) it's pretty much a guarantee I will develop diabetes (something that terrifies me).

But I just can't seem to get the dedication there. It was SO hard to lose those 70lbs. I fought for every single pound. I persevered through months of plateauing. I just don't know if I have the gumption to do it again.

If it wasn't for the health aspect I would just throw in the towel. Accept that I am just fat & that is the way it is going to stay. But that's not an option.

Sigh - I'm not sure what I'm hoping for here...

07-02-2009, 07:40 AM
All you have to do is this day and as you say, it will come. Its okay not even be feeling it all the time, but if your truth is you don't want to accept the fat then take Yoda's advice,"Do or do not. There is no try". ;)

07-02-2009, 08:13 AM
I totally understand where you are coming from. I recently lost 110 lbs and still need to loose like 60 more and after being at the same weight for the past 2 months I just am so discourged. I am bored with the gym and tired of eating the same old thing.. I keep snacking but do not want to gain any weight either =0(..

I am at a total loss but hope and pray you stay and trak as I am truly trying to also...

07-02-2009, 08:16 AM
Firstly congrats on your baby boy :) It must have been wonderful to find that you were pregnant. I was diagnosed with PCOS last year and ignored it for a year and during that time used food to deal with the fact that I felt that my body had turned on me somehow and I couldnt do anything about it. I want (and need) to lose weight not just bcos I am not happy with the way I look, but as you said . . . the alternative is not so great if we dont take care of ourselves physically.

You need to either just start and take it one day at a time as rochemist said or work out what your motivation is . . . if thinking about 70lbs and how hard it was to lose that weight last time is too hard, then maybe focussing on being healthy and full of energy is a better motivator . . . or perhaps ensuring that your son has a healthy mum to play with him as he grows.

You have lost weight before so you know that if you did once you definitely will be able to do it again!

Good luck!! :)

07-02-2009, 08:30 AM
I am so glad to hear from you once again. 8 months old? Wow. He must be adorable and keeping you good and busy. I'm so happy for you.

But I just can't seem to get the dedication there. It was SO hard to lose those 70lbs. I fought for every single pound. I persevered through months of plateauing. I just don't know if I have the gumption to do it again.

If it wasn't for the health aspect I would just throw in the towel. Accept that I am just fat & that is the way it is going to stay. But that's not an option.


Well there you have it. It IS for the health aspect. You are no longer only responsible for yourself. You've got a precious little boy who needs a strong and healthy mama.

It's hard. Okay. Lots and lots of things that are worthwhile ARE hard. We've got to accept that. Got to. Got to. Got to. Is it easy getting up in the middle of the night to care for your son? Was it easy being pregnant and then giving birth? Do you think it will be a piece of cake (ooh didn't mean to bring cake into this) raising that boy? No - it's HARD.

HARD - but worth it. In a big, huge, gigantic way. The rewards far, far, far outweigh the so called *sacrfices*. You give up one thing in RETURN for SOOOOOO much more.

And you want to really talk about hard - diabetes, which unfortunately seems to be a big definite threat for you - now THAT'S hard. Thank G-d you are given the opportunity, through wise decisions and careful monitoring to control this debilitating disease.

If G-d forbid, your son was told he had to eat a specific *diet* to keep him at his utmost healthiest, you would not hesitate for a second to make sure he ate in that manner. Not for a second. You'd do everything and anything in your power to make sure he succeeded and had the right foods on hand. ALWAYS. You are no different. You are a very important member of your family. And you have a special need. Make a plan, map it out, commit to it, find lovely, delicious foods to eat that are healthy so you won't miss the unhealthy ones. Make your health a number one priority. Do it for you son, for yourself and for your future. :hug:

07-02-2009, 09:45 AM
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose weight with PCOS. Honestly, I think the scale is your biggest obstacle here. Fact: you're body is not going to let go of weight very fast. You have to accept that, and find a different goals that will keep you encouraged and motivated. Set goals about healthy eating, or exercise. Goals you have some control about acheiving. If I had PCOS and my weight loss was slow as molasses, setting goals unrelated to weight loss would be the only way I could keep myself encouraged and on track.

Even if you are losing weight at a snail's pace, eating healthy and exercising is doing your body a world of good! You CAN do this! Beat diabetes to the punch! You MUST do it for your son.

07-02-2009, 10:48 AM
Aw, 8 months really is a cute age. Is he crawling or cruising yet?

I just wanted to second everyone's posts. If you can't summon the motivation to do it for yourself yet, do it for your son. You said you were super strict with your diet when you were pregnant, so you know you can do it.

And on a personal note, my father has Type I diabetes (insulin dependent). (I'm assuming if you did get diabetes it would be Type II?) It is utterly terrifying. Forget for a moment the grand mal seizures he has when his sugar gets too low (hello subject of my nightmares). He is going to face other horrible complications in the future. He could go blind or go into kidney failure or lose a limb because of poor circulation.

Robin's right: if your son, or another loved one, contracted an illness that would lead to these things, you know that you would do everything in your power to help them. You would fight for them and their health. Treat yourself as you would treat your most precious people. :hug:

PS- We were in Costa Rica last summer. Even though the drive was miserable, I never wanted to leave Arenal. So gorgeous...

07-02-2009, 07:45 PM
Thank you everyone for the support.

I know the facts - I just need to get my mind on board. I actually have been working out hard again for the past month but I feel like I'm going through the motions instead of really getting into like I have in the past.

I think I might put a little recipe card sized motivation poster together for myself so I can keep it on me at all times & remind myself at anytime what my focus needs to be.

KnitaLisa - he is crawling - so quickly. And yes, Arenal is beautiful - although we never got to see the top - always cloudy - apparently that's the norm.

07-02-2009, 08:34 PM
Welcome back, Lifeguard! I wish I could wave a wand and give you the feeling you want. I've come to realize that that feeling of determination and control actually doesn't come at the beginning, but after you get into a routine and see that it's working. So until that day, all you can do is make one small healthy decision for yourself after another until you get there. Then look at your darling boy and remind yourself why you need to do this. You can do it! :hug: