Weight Loss Support - Why does everyone get smaller than me at higher weights? =(




megwini
07-02-2009, 06:42 AM
I am so happy that I am losing weight, but I got so frustrated today. My friend who lost 50 pounds last year (has been maintaining for almost a year now) tried on a skirt which I bought in hopes of one day fitting into and it fit her.
She is 5'6" and weighs 160. I am 5'10" and weigh 184. If you say I should weight about 5 pounds more for every inch, her 160 would be my 180. I'm only 4 pounds away from this and yet she wears a freaking 8 and I can barely squeeze into 12's. She can wear the skirt that I am in love with at an equivalent weight of 4 pounds less than my current one, and I can't even dream of fitting into it until I'm at least at 155. It's not fair, it's just not fair! :stress: It's not like she has a lot of muscle or a larger frame than me either. She has almost no muscle (like me) and she has the same frame size as me (small). GAH! Why does everyone else seem to have lower pant sizes at higher weights than me? I JUST CAN'T STAND IT! :tantrum::tantrum::tantrum:
I know no one can really do anything about this; I kind of just needed to get that off my chest. It's just so gosh darn depressing to me.


jendiet
07-02-2009, 07:09 AM
sweetie, it is most likely body frame. Your frame will be larger too.--ares where you can't see including hip bones, and pelvis. Don't beat yourself up. Keep that skirt for yourself! It's good to have a goal.

I have clothes that really help me see the difference in my weight loss too.

SuperGirl
07-02-2009, 07:44 AM
I have the EXACT same frustrations. And unfortunately, those frustrations make it even harder for me to lose ANYTHING. I don't understand how people who weigh exactly what I do wear 2 sizes smaller. Are they just comfortable being squeezed in places that shouldn't be? Or is it really a frame thing??? Also, how can my best friend, who is as tall as I am and weighs 40 pounds more than I do - FORTY POUNDS MORE - wear one size bigger (I'm in a 12, she's in a 14). Seriously???
Anyway, I didn't mean to rant. I agree with the other poster who says you should keep the skirt and keep plugging away. Regardless of your size, you've done a great thing. Keep it up. :D


QuilterInVA
07-02-2009, 08:36 AM
How does your exercise compare to hers? Muscle tone has a lot to do with with it.

joyra
07-02-2009, 08:37 AM
Well, how do your measurements proportion out? There's people on this board 100 lbs heavier than me wearing smaller pants... because I carry just about ALL of my weight in my hips, thighs and butt. When I was 9 lbs above goal many years ago I still wore a size 10. For some of us, especially pear shapes, the bottom is the last to go.

SuperGirl - Those size 14s go a looooooooooong way. I wore 14s at my highest (173) and I'm still in them (152) and last time I was smaller I didn't shift down a size until I was 138 lbs... so that's 35 lbs without changing a size.

Lori Bell
07-02-2009, 08:46 AM
Boobs weigh a lot...;) Are these smaller pants/same weight people chesty? Seriously, boobs account for several pounds on some people. Back in college I had a room mate who always wore smaller clothes than I did. I'd see the tag, and be in shock because I though we were the same size. One day she was out and I decided to try on some of her jeans just to see how tight they were...they fit perfectly! I tried on most of her clothes, and even though the tags all said smaller sizes they all fit. Finally we went shopping together and I was amazed at how many of the same size clothes she tried on. She literelly tried on 5 pair of size 14 Levi's until she found one that was miss marked/ ran big. I guess that's how vanity sizing became popular.

thisisnotatest
07-02-2009, 09:12 AM
I'm 5'4, 179 lbs (no boobs to speak of :( )and I wear a 'these just fit' GAP 14 or a roomy 16. I also see people on this board who weigh more and are in 10/12's. I don't see edging out of these 14's for another 20lbs or so.
But, it really does even out. At my lowest weight 115(a million yrs ago) I was a 4/6, so I know those sizes do go down.
Its actually pretty amazing how different bodies are.
I have a tiny skinny friend (5', 95lbs) who, when I was at my low weight, has a waist that is two inches bigger then mine, but she wears size zeros, and I wore 4/6.
Go figure. You can't make yourself crazy.

WormwoodDoll
07-02-2009, 09:47 AM
I see ladies on this site who weigh 50+lbs then me and can literally fit into the same size jeans. People have different body structures, and we all carry our weight in different ways. I carry a lot of weight in my hips -- I have huge ones! Jeans fit me perfectly at my hips, but are so loose around my legs, thighs, and my waist!

We're all different. Maybe this will help: heights & weightsl (http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/heightweight.shtml)

RubyGuggenheim
07-02-2009, 09:55 AM
Ayup. My sister is a few inches shorter than I am, weighs 7 pounds more than I do, and wears a size 10 while I wear a size 14.

It's definitely a body shape thing. She has a size 10 waist, butt and legs. I have a size fourteen waist and size 6-8 legs and butt. It's frustrating as ****, since even skinny jeans look like wide leg jeans on me, but oh well.

srmb60
07-02-2009, 10:16 AM
I was thinking along the same lines. Would the same hold true if you both were trying on blouses?

teresab
07-02-2009, 10:18 AM
I understand this frustration. I have never been small or thin. Yet!!! I'm comin' single digit sizes!!!

Anyhoo.... My best friend currently weight just under 160. She is 5'6". She has a flat stomach, wears a bikini, and looks damn good. I am 5'7" and when I weighed 160 (high school :( ) I had fat rolls every where, double chins and looked damn bad. Annoying!!!! Of course, my body has changed alot in the 11 years since high school (3 kids, including twins stretching my belly, time passing) I can't wait to find out what i will look like at 160 now!!!!

Ija
07-02-2009, 10:29 AM
Your body composition will factor greatly into what size you wear. Case in point, I'm a full pant size smaller (and two less notches on my belt) than I was two months ago, even though I've only lost three pounds. However, I've significantly reduced my body fat % in that time. I can't wear the jeans I bought in April because they hang off of me now, and my body is getting noticeably tighter even without huge scale losses. Eating enough calories, including plenty of protein, and lifting heavy will have that effect.

Unfortunately, the most common approach to weight loss (i.e., big calorie deficit for an extended period with lots of cardio) leads to significant losses of muscle (including heart muscle!), which means that your body will be left with lots of extra fat even at a normal weight. Someone with more lean tissue and less fat will be smaller than you even at the same (or even greater) weight. IMO, the best thing to do is focus on losing fat, not losing weight per se, and hit the weights! You'll definitely be glad you did :)

Jacquie668
07-02-2009, 10:36 AM
A size, is just a number. I mean sometimes I say that to myself when I see someone who can wear like two sizes smaller than me, but you know bodies are shaped individually. Everyone is different.

I'm pear shaped, HUGE butt, huge thunder thighs, huge tummy, but my upper part of my body isn't so bad. So, that means that I could, right now, get a size 22/24 top and have it fit perfectly over my chest, but it would be too tight with my hips. So, I have to get a size bigger, but in the end it is just a number. I care about the fit mostly, but then again I do want to fit into my size 22 jeans. :D Someday!

rachinma
07-02-2009, 10:45 AM
When I was at my peak physical shape -- 141# (mostly muscle), worked out 2x a day (cardio and weight training), ate mostly chicken & rice (poor student!) -- I was wearing a size 8. My trainer told me that i'd probably have to shave my bones to get into a size 6. That's just the way it is sometimes.

kiramira
07-02-2009, 11:21 AM
Hmmm --bone shaving---sounds like we need a new medical procedure! I'm surprised it isn't out there yet...
Personally, I need some flabble shaving...:D

My mom is 5 foot nothing, and weighs 120 lbs. She is a size 6-8. She is quite, ahem, chesty...there are others at 5 foot nothing who are the same weight and are size 2-4. It all comes down to frame size, proportions, percentage of body fat, and comfort level -- we all know those who squeeze into 2 sizes smaller and seem happy whereas others like a looser fit (and therefore a larger size).

Kira

jennsreadytolose
07-02-2009, 11:42 AM
I feel your pain, I have lost roughly 30 pounds and am still in 11's, I can squeeze into 9's but only if they are the stretchy jeans! I am wondering if my size will even change at all....

nelie
07-02-2009, 11:48 AM
Muscle certainly is denser than fat. So 2 people could be the same weight, same height and even same generic proportions but the one with more muscle will wear a smaller size.

sweetandspicy
07-02-2009, 11:52 AM
2 years ago I weighed the same as I do now and wore a smaller size. I think it is how we each are proportioned. I am more toned in some areas but my stomach holds on to the fat a lot longer than everywhere else.

beerab
07-02-2009, 12:23 PM
That's like me I'm 212 and wear a size 16 and my friend who is in the 180s wears a size 16. Go figure!

JulieJ08
07-02-2009, 12:50 PM
It's just the way it is. It took a while for me to stop being boggled by people posting that they weigh 50# more than me (same height) and wear a smaller size, or vice versa.

p7eggyc
07-02-2009, 01:11 PM
I'm having the same experience reading the boards! If nothing else I feel better that I'm not alone. I was beginning to think maybe I didn't know when my clothing fit! LOL I'm an apple so I will probably always be a bit bigger pant size than my weight would indicate. It's just a number....it's just a number...it's just a number....LOL

Peg

forestroad
07-02-2009, 01:21 PM
Sigh. I hate this too. What is it with 5'6" ppl who can wear 8s at 160lbs? I'm 5'5" and in a 12 at 155lbs. My friend is one of those lucky 5'6" ppl, but she has huge boobs and some budonkadonk...lucky b. I on the other hand have the mother of all hips...but I console myself with the thought that someday I will hopefully have a less-painful childbirth, lol. And my thighs! Who has 25" thighs and a 30" waist? This girl! And the hips are 40", and I can feel bone just beneath the surface so it's not like I have a ton of inches to lose. I need to get down at least another 20lbs before I can even look at a size 8. Double sigh.

megwini
07-02-2009, 01:34 PM
I'm having the same experience reading the boards! If nothing else I feel better that I'm not alone. I was beginning to think maybe I didn't know when my clothing fit! LOL I'm an apple so I will probably always be a bit bigger pant size than my weight would indicate. It's just a number....it's just a number...it's just a number....LOL

I'm an apple too, and I know it's just a number, but I suppose it really gets to me. I WANNA WEAR 8'S! LOL At 165 I wore 12's... at 160 she wears 8's... and she's 4 inches shorter. *sigh*

It's definitely not a case of muscle, since she doesn't exercise at all, and I do cardio (running and such). It just... gets to me. To me, your pant size kind of IS like... oh I'm fat, or I'm not fat, or whatever. So then things like this just get me FRUSTRATED and I don't understand why IIIIII have to be so much higher sizes than my other friends who weigh proportionally more and are a few inches shorter than me. :tantrum: I guess I'm just a big ol' baby sometmes.

men7al
07-02-2009, 01:38 PM
whoa your tall.look in bright side you guys sure don't show it.I'm a midget being 5'3 and my thighs look huge..but that is what happens when you have a kid lol..I say is your body frame and you should be so lucky being tall..so stop your tripping lol..hey I'm 145 lbs and that is a lot for my tiny frame MY GOAL IS 135 and so far lost 3 pounds on zantrax 3 and I'm taking 2 pills..so parton my heatbeat lol..I think you should IM and we can support each other.I'm not trying to get skinny just get a waist so I can get preggo lol.

peace-oh you are not fat..fat is with the mind.

forestroad
07-02-2009, 01:45 PM
It's definitely not a case of muscle, since she doesn't exercise at all, and I do cardio (running and such).

Not necessarily. Some ppl are just genetically more prone to muscle, even though it looks like they do nothing for it. My friend is this way. She doesn't do much in the way of strength training, just cardio, and I am only an inch shorter than she is but need to be about 20-30lbs lighter to wear the same size.

Ija
07-02-2009, 01:45 PM
It's definitely not a case of muscle, since she doesn't exercise at all, and I do cardio (running and such).

Two points, first that cardio doesn't prevent you from losing muscle while you're losing weight. Unless you're getting enough protein, hitting the weights hard, and keeping the deficit at a moderate level, you're going to lose significant amounts of muscle. Second, if your friend has always been at this weight, she can expect to have more muscle than you even if she's not exercising and you are (for the reason stated above). If she's maintaining her muscle base while you're losing it, her body fat percentage will be lower than yours (and consequently, she'll be smaller).

TamiL
07-02-2009, 02:30 PM
I'm 5'3" tall and wear size 4 and 6 jeans at 130 lbs. I also have 32G boobs! There is alot to being chesty. Once my doctor told me if we just cut em off I'd lose 20 lbs, LOL Even at my highest weight of 200 lbs I only wore a size 12 and 14 jeans, I've never made it into plus sizes. My sister on the other hand is about an inch taller and has to wear bigger pants when we weigh the same. She carries her weight in her mid section...

paradoxx
07-02-2009, 02:34 PM
Don't let it get to you Megwini! Lots of us are in this boat and it definitely has to do with body compositions and proportions. I have HUGE hips and always will. My hips are 12 inches bigger than my waist and there is nothing to be done about this. When I was very young and tiny, I had a 22 inch waist and 34 inch hips. This means that I will never wear itty bitty sizes. However, I look back on pictures from that time and I looked fantastic.

Try to focus on you--on your achievements and progress. What size you are has little to do with how you look or how your feel.

Starrynight
07-02-2009, 06:48 PM
Yeah I mean I had a similar issue.. when I went down to 143, I still had a gut and a few problem areas that I knew 15-18 lbs would take care of.. I still had nice curves (I was doing strength training as well, not as much, but enough so you could see that my arms and thighs were toning up, they always have been muscular actually) ..
But my friend, who gained weight and doesn't work out or do cardio or anything.. she said she gained weight to 160 and she was 5' 6".. if I applied that 5 lb rule, 160 for her is like 145 for me.. yet she could still wear clothes I couldn't and her pant size was still an 8!! Meanwhile, at 143.. I was inbetween a 9 and 11 (in juniors)
But I mean, it really does just depend on the person, the frame, etc..
Also, I did notice that taller people (5' 7" and above) could get to really low weights, like 140 (almost like.. 120 for me) or something, yet their sizes are still larger than what I would be at 120. It has to do with the frame really, I mean for me, a size 10 at my height means I've got some more weight to lose and you could see the problem areas.. but I've seen tall women wearing size 10's with leaner, smoother bodies.. so you really can't judge like that.

I say, screw the sizes, the sizes are meant to fit YOU, not you to fit it! You know kinda body you are working towards, and you know what weight you are comfortable at.. so don't let the sizes get to you. What makes you look good isn't the clothing, but you, your body, and how you carry it.

Starrynight
07-02-2009, 06:55 PM
Not necessarily. Some ppl are just genetically more prone to muscle, even though it looks like they do nothing for it. My friend is this way. She doesn't do much in the way of strength training, just cardio, and I am only an inch shorter than she is but need to be about 20-30lbs lighter to wear the same size.

My roommate last year was the same way.. she was CRAZY muscular and toned (not to mention TALL), her arms were really muscular, too. I thought she played basketball or tennis or something, right? Turns out, she eats ALL the time, and eats terrible food too (I'm talking junkfood, processed food, whitebread, etc) and on top of that, she told me that she can't even run because of her asthma!!
When you see her, you'd think she works out like crazy!!
You can imagine how jealous I was, lol. Here I am slaving away, watching my food intake, working out while here this girl was with a crazy muscular body eating whatever she wanted, however much she wanted, at any time she wanted!! Her whole family is like that, from what she said.. but after dorming with her, she said she's going to try and eat healthier because all of her eating habits will catch up with her when she gets older..
But either way, getting jealous wasn't going to help me, and eating like her out of spite isn't going to help me either.. we're all different..

It just goes to show why we shouldn't judge people based on their weight or sizes.. That's why I despise when people say that fat people are lazy or things like that.. I have been around plenty of skinny people who can't even jog a mile, whereas I could jog 3 easily and feel great! And the effects of what we eat isn't so easy to find just by looking at a person.. it's stuff that happens on the inside (duh).. cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.. Ugh, gets me so upset.

Alana in Canada
07-02-2009, 07:03 PM
Clothing sizes at the lower end of the economic scale (read affordable!) are NOT standardized in the US.

(At the high end--like thousands for a designer name dress--sizing has NOT changed in 40 years).

I remember reading somewhere that each company has it's own sizing: Size 10 at LL. Bean will be a different size than a 10 at Eddie Bauer.

Maybe. I don't know.

It's just a number. Who cares? Why hold yourself hostage to some arbitrary thing entirely out of your control? It makes no sense and it's self defeating.

How do you look and feel? That's all that matters.

KforKitty
07-02-2009, 07:05 PM
Its the biggest mystery of my life how I weigh what I do on my small frame. I'm one of those people that you hate. Currently wearing 10s and 12s at 176lbs and only 5'4". People I know of a similar size are at least 20lbs lighter than me or conversely 4" taller. I've got boobs and booty but small chest and waist. My legs are muscular rather than heavy.

My Dad and brother are the same. By BMI they'd be classed as overweight but they're clearly not.

Kitty

TMG2008
07-02-2009, 11:47 PM
Clothing sizes at the lower end of the economic scale (read affordable!) are NOT standardized in the US.

(At the high end--like thousands for a designer name dress--sizing has NOT changed in 40 years).

I remember reading somewhere that each company has it's own sizing: Size 10 at LL. Bean will be a different size than a 10 at Eddie Bauer.

Maybe. I don't know.



I think this is a big part of the issue. Unless you are making an actual physical comparison where two people are trying on the exact same pair of pants, you really don't know how big the difference is in what size you wear compared to someone else.

A good example - I just purchased a pair of shorts in a size 10. I also have a pair of shorts in a size 16 that are slightly big but still a decent fit. That's a range of 3 sizes. So when a person states what size they wear, what are they basing that on? Certain brands run smaller than others and generally the pricier the brand, the smaller size you can wear. Right now, the majority of my summer shorts are a size 12. So I am considering myself a size 12. But if I bought more expensive brands like the one size 10 I got, I might consider myself a size 10.

I do also agree that they way people are built can make a difference in what size they wear even at a comparable height and weight to someone else. Comparing your body measurements to someone else, especially waist and hip size will be a better indication of how you compare physically than clothing size. However most people don't say "I have a 32" waist", they say "I am a size 12". The problem is, a size 12 really means nothing in terms of comparison.

merose
07-03-2009, 08:06 AM
I think people just have such different shapes - even if it's not immediately obvious.

I have just experienced this while shopping for a bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding. My other sisters are in their usual sizes, but I have to get one two sizes too big and get it taken in at the waist. Boobs! Seriously, If I gain weight they are the first to inflate, but if I lose weight they stay exactly the same.

They don't make nice dresses for girls with big chests.

I love to buy tops with ties around the waist, or I just use a belt, because otherwise I just look like I am wearing a tent.

I think I strayed a bit off topic there... oops!

forestroad
07-03-2009, 08:29 AM
Boobs! Seriously, If I gain weight they are the first to inflate, but if I lose weight they stay exactly the same.


This gives me hope! I'm right at the threshold where my Bs turned to Cs, so maybe if I keep losing, I'll still get to keep the Cs?

merose
07-03-2009, 08:30 AM
if not, I am perfectly willing to share my E cups ;)

Windchime
07-03-2009, 01:06 PM
Also keep in mind that when someone says, "I am a size 8", this could mean anything from, "I fit comfortably and attractively into a size 8" to "I have managed to stuff myself into a size 8". I've seen people wearing smaller things that they really are not fitting into at all.

I tried on work pants the other night. Oh, I could get the 14's up and zipped, but they looked like they were painted on and I don't think anyone would be fooled into thinking that I am truly a size 14 in that particular pant. In another style, I maybe COULD fit comfortably and attractively into a 14.

It's a combination of being built differently, manufacturer's sizing conventions, and what the definition of "fit" is.