Weight Loss Support - Who admits to revenge weight loss?

Hermit Girl
07-01-2009, 06:49 PM
I find that for all the honest and positive reasons I struggle to maintain for motivation and inspiration, that there is an occasional real powerful pull from a vengefull place. One example, is that I have a funky friendship with a 'best friend' with whom I have shared abundance of support in our respective weight projects, over the years, but also from whom I've felt twinges of competition, outright, even admitted. At one time that really bothered me I guess, because it caused me to eventually feel competative back, and I now admit to having a real desire to win against her in our race to a goal weight .

Please no advice about my girlfriend, just an open discussion with those who have confessions about weightloss goals attached to revenge or competition. To get back at an ex? To show off to your family, co-workers, whoever.... that you really can look great?

net knee
07-01-2009, 07:01 PM
I was this way the whole time! Every week I couldn't wait to hear from her to find out how much she lost... when it was less than me I must admit that I had a bit of a giggle inside--a giggle of joy and excitement! But I never showed it and never will... although we were "competing" but very friendly. I was completely supportive and even though sometimes I thought about saying "go for it" when she called and said "omg the hershey bar's are screaming my name" but i said no... run for your life! lol anywho-- yeah i've been there and we're still there! it keeps us going!

07-01-2009, 07:12 PM
I have to admit that I used my 20th HS reunion as incentive to lose weight, BUT by that time I realized that I was happy and these people didn't matter anymore.

I didn't even go to the reunion!

07-01-2009, 07:31 PM
Haha patchwork that's how I feel- Mine is in 2 years and I'm like why should I go again? WHO has even tried to keep contact with me?!

I don't have a revenge motivation- but part of me relishes when someone I don't like has seen I've lost weight- maybe I WILL go to the reunion just to show them!

Course is it mean to laugh to myself when the people who I though were jerks in high school (who I have seen from time to time) are now fat? I know I know- shame on me! But some of those skinny girls were really mean to me! :p

Lila Leeds
07-01-2009, 07:39 PM
My sister & I used to have a competitive thing happening. When one was overweight the other one would make an extra special effort to lose weight just to show the other one up & make them miserable (Yep, I know, nasty). Thank goodness we are over that now - unfortunately we are both now overweight!

07-01-2009, 07:44 PM
My motivation is that I'm doing this for myself ... BUT ... I do admit that I have a very active fantasy life about finally posting pictures on MySpace when I get to goal and making sure my ex's best friend sees the pics, which means that my ex will look at them. I hope he can't zip his jeans for a week after seeing what he lost! So yea, I have a little catty side. *Sweet Innocent Evil Grin* Of course, I might need advice on how to actually post pictures on a website first ...:o

07-01-2009, 07:44 PM
Course is it mean to laugh to myself when the people who I though were jerks in high school (who I have seen from time to time) are now fat? I know I know- shame on me! But some of those skinny girls were really mean to me! :p

Sign me up a meanie too. :devil: My ex's mother posted some recent pictures of him. He's getting chubby!! I never would have thought he would gain weight but is he (and going bald). He had issues with my weight in high school (I weighed 95-110lbs) so it gives me some sort of sick satisfaction to see his beer belly poking out from beneath his shirt.

I do think it would be funny if I was the hot chick in our 30's and he's fat and bald.

07-01-2009, 07:57 PM
I am ABSOLUTELY guilty of revenge dieting. Back when my ex broke up with me, I was all about how I was gonna get skinny and make him realize how stupid he was for giving me up. 'Course, that didn't actually happen and in a bizarre turn of events, I'm going to the gym with him this evening... LOL.

Right now my weight loss is, for all intents and purposes, a rather private thing for me. Aside from my ex and all of you lovely people, nobody in my life really knows that I've started trying again.

Right now one of my motivations is, though she doesn't know it, one of my best friends. She's lost more than 20 pounds, and she's getting pretty small considering where she's been. We used to share clothes all the time, and now all mine fit her weird because they're too big. D: I hate it. I'm jealous. And I've made it a competition in my own head that I have to do better than her. Granted, it isn't really a fair thing since she's a good 5 or so inches shorter than me, but... You know what I mean!

07-01-2009, 08:54 PM
I don't know if you would call it revenge...but my ex (:doh:) breaking up with me after 13 years and tons of second chances for him on my part part sure have lit a fire (:flame:) under my bum to make some big changes. And while happiness is the best revenge...it sure is great when he says "Wow..you've really lost some weight. What have you been doing?" And I simply knowingly smile and say "Nothing.. I am just happy now!!" White lies are ok, right?:devil:

07-01-2009, 09:05 PM
My ten year is coming up (well in 2013, so it's still far away) but there's this one friend I had. things were fine until a couple of years ago and she was complaining that she wanted to lose weight so I offered some pointers... and shot them all down with excuses, and lame excuses at that (like how her mom won't buy healthy food, so i told her to buy her own, and she said her brother would eat it, yeah right). Anyways, both of us have gained and unfortunately she stopped talking to me because she disagrees with my political opinions (I voted Obama, she's a hardcore Republican [and ignorant about it to bat]) so she deleted me from her friends on Myspace. Mature, right? Anyways, it's immature and stupid, I know, but I want to go to that reunion looking hotter than ever (which I will go to) and show her it can be done.

I also used to be in a sorority in college and gained quite a bit of weight while living in the house (we were an atypical sorority and had a lot of "bigger" girls), and the girls who were just horribly mean to me were (and are still) overweight, so I want to lose to shove it in their mean faces.

another thing is that I'm moving to LA in a year and I just feel uncomfortable at this weight, and also whenever I visited LA i just felt awkward. so i want to get fit and healthy to fit in with all of the other fit and healthy people.

Lori Bell
07-01-2009, 09:16 PM
There is this creepy chick who runs the local greasy spoon. She is the Queen of our small town and is always adding fuel to the gossip mill. I'm assuming that because I was so big, it took several months before anyone noticed any of my weight loss. When people started noticing most every one had really sweet compliments except creep chick. She says, "Oh Lori, your are looking goo...um, uh, well...um... better" :rolleyes:

Fast forward several months later. She told one of my close (overweight) friends not to be jealous of me because I would gain it back fast.

Fast Forward a few more months. When I didn't gain back what I had lost, (because I am still losing), she realized she must be wrong so she started the big, "Lori had super-duper secret gastric bypass surgery".

Fast forward to last week. I walked into her establishment to buy a Sunday paper and a few people complimented me on my new dress. She pipes up and says, "It's really great you are still maintaining your weight loss"... :rolleyes: I just about burst out laughing but I kept my cool and said, "Maintaining? I'm not maintaining, I'm still losing these last pesky 30 pounds!" (Which I'm not, I'm just about ready to start maintaince)...hehe :) The look on her face was PRICELESS. She was also, (for once in her life) speechless. When I left, her mouth was still hanging open. I can guarantee you the newest will be that I am now anorexic! I hope to maintain forever because I feel so terrific, but in the back of my mind, there will always be creepy chick to pi$$ off. ;)

Shannon in ATL
07-01-2009, 09:27 PM
I'll admit that part of my dieting was due to my super hot sister in law and the way she looked in a bikini. :)

07-01-2009, 09:35 PM
With my first ex-boyfriend, when he broke up with me... damn right I felt "I'll show you!". I've lost 40lbs since then (its been 2 years since we broke up). With my recent ex boyfriend, I broke up with him so honestly, I don't have any revenge feelings towards that relationship. In a way, I feel good about it cuz now I have more time for me and more time away from fast food junk. So my weight loss journey will be easier.

I'm still in revenge mode from the first ex-boyfriend. I wanna be super hot/thin to show him!

07-01-2009, 09:36 PM
There's a whole song about it. ---

"I'll try to get in shape, lose some weight - it's a way... to retaliate.."

Retaliate by Start Trouble

07-01-2009, 09:38 PM
yeah.. um pretty much every guy who just considered me to be a "friend" and "not their type"... but they all wished their girls had my personality.. they're gonna have to just wait and see what they missed out on.. because I can have the looks and the personality! And NONE of them can have it !!! hmpf!! haha

07-01-2009, 11:17 PM
loveDC425 girl, it could have been me that wrote that. I absolutely would love to turn up all skinny and hot and show a couple of guys what they missed out on! I must admit it is quite the motivation for me ;-) But hey, whatever it takes!

07-01-2009, 11:33 PM
yeah seriously! lets do it!!! we are gonna all do it together!!

07-02-2009, 12:10 AM
OH... I total feel the motivation coming from the "dark side."

First, there's my friend. She thinks she knows everything about everything when it comes to anything medical, and therefor weightloss. When I told her how excited I was a couple months back to start the Alli program she got haughty with me. Her exact words were, "I hope you enjoy anal leakage." Guess what? At the time when I was following the diet very very closely, I lost 7 pounds my first week and no anal leakage at all! It even warns you in the book, follow the diet or else.... I was thrilled to rub her face in it.

Next on my list is Dear Hubby. He thinks I'm on another "kick" to lose weightloss so to me, the more weight I can lose the more I can flaunt it in his face.

After that is my mother and grandmother. They encourage the walking but keep telling me, "If you can't do it, that's okay too," basically. Loving women but I find it irratating. Don't say its okay if I can't... Just say you'll do great!

Lastly, even though I will NEVER see this woman again... there was a ministers wife at a barbque a friend of mine's family was throwing. Her teen daughter had just given birth (at 15). We got to talking about pregnancy this and that and she actually told me, "Well, no one could tell if you got pregnant, your to fa.... um.. big." This woman lives somewhere in Colorado, we live in WV, but none-the-less I admit that out of spite for this women I'm just a little more motivated!

07-02-2009, 12:27 AM
Hmm.. kinda revenge I guess, but in the living better sorta way..
The revenge part and rubbing it people's faces is like the icing on the cake for losing weight!

I want to get back at people who have teased me or talked about me behind my back because of my weight.
To get back at all the people in HS (even though I still had great friends..) that ignored me because of my weight (funny because while they were too busy partying and thinking about their looks, after HS they ended up nowhere in life.. These people really just peaked in high school) -

To get back at my mom for bringing me down so much about my weight since as far back as I can remember, it really destroyed my self-esteem.. (well, to show her I can do this)

To get back at all the jerks that told me I had personality pouring out of my ears, but they'd rather date the ditzy bimbo with a skinny body..

(People really have their values messed up, I don't understand how being overweight can be SUCH a flaw, yet being stupid/ignorant/boring among other personality flaws is totally fine and acceptable). - Thankfully I have a great boyfriend of almost 5 years, so this is really just to say "Hey, look at me, I'm intelligent, AND hot, I'm the total package and you're not!"

07-02-2009, 12:30 AM
I revenge-dieted before and lost over 100 lbs. Then gained it all back plus 50 more. For me, negativity and permanent lifestyle changes don't work together. I have to be positive in order for this to succeed. So, no, having failed at it once, I will never again allow ANY negativity into my lifestyle/weight loss plan. None. Elicits bad karma.

07-06-2009, 08:28 AM
Yeh i totally agree with the revenge being a bad motivation BUT there are a few people i'd like to show my eventual fine body :)

#1 My dad who i haven't seen in 3 years due to him being a very messed up and nasty man who would comment on my weight often.

#2 The stepsister who for ditto reasons i havent seen in 5 years. Who liked to remind me every other weekend that i was fat and unhealthy at the age of about 11 to 13 when i must have weighed only 110lbs.

#3 The mean ex who was a real nasty piece of work and liked to publicly slander me in this whole you're fat and ugly but i'll sleep with you anyway attitude. And i know the psychological reasons behind that relationship thank you dad!!

So even though revenge isn't the best motivation it sure helps to remember that those suckers will be laughing on the other side of their faces soon enough :)

07-06-2009, 08:54 AM
I tend to find my "darker" motivations mix in with my positive ones. I'm losing weight and getting into decent shape primarily because I'm tired of my weight being an issue for myself and I'm out of excuses, and I want to be healthy when I'm 50 ... but sometimes when I'm really struggling with a workout or a desire to munch chocolate and stare at the television I find myself motivated by the idea of wearing a stunning, sexy dress to my highschool reunion and knocking the socks off everyone there. Now that's not great long term motivation but it gets me through the workout and often keeps me from buying the chocolate.

I think it's human nature to sometimes have these lesser motivations but we'll probably do okay as long as these are just surface motivations and our own health and well being is at the heart of what we're doing.

07-06-2009, 09:06 AM
not sure if it's revenge, but one of the reasons I want to lose weight is to look better than my husband's ex-wife. And I do already (even with the less than 20lbs I've lost) but I need to keep going and keep it off!!!

07-06-2009, 09:53 AM
My main reason is for myself,and self confidence. But ,oh,yes!Revenge is also in the back of my mind. All the people who made comments.Co-workers,"friends",and the loser that stopped calling me. I can't wait to see them,when I am much less!:devil:

07-06-2009, 09:59 AM

I do this for myself first and foremost but I do have to admit a slight thrill in walking past certain people that were mean and rude to me when I was fat! It's not even close to being a reason for my weight loss just a perk ;)

07-06-2009, 10:28 AM
hahaha - i love revenge and competition . Without it, i don't have the motive to lose weight.
Now, i absolutely do this for myself. But if i just do it for myself, my laziness might take over a long time by now. But with the other motivation (like revenge or competition), it keeps me going this journey forever.