Weight Loss Support - *Waves Goodbye to Will Power*

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06-29-2009, 03:08 PM
I am having some trouble...

Lately it seems that I just cannot stop myself from picking up that piece of cake, cookie etc and then telling myself this is the last time, back to work tomorrow.

I don't want to keep going down this road, I want to lose weight and feel good about doing it.

Has anyone been through this?? What helped you get pass it?? What techniques did you use to stop yourself from picking up that "piece of cake"??

06-29-2009, 03:13 PM
I've been having this problem recently. I feel like I've been PMSing for the last 2 weeks and I am just constantly craving sweets. I'm not exactly sure what the best way is to get past it. I had to fight it every step of the way.
My only advice is to congratulate yourself every single time you want to reach for that junk food and you don't. I usually end up feeling so accomplished when I finally resist that it becomes easier each time. You've just got to use a lot of positive self talk to get yourself going in the right direction.

Also, may I ask why in the world there is cake in the first place?

06-29-2009, 03:15 PM
Hon, I hear you. I used to do this "all the time". Especially when I was on a "diet"...
So, I think it might be useful to spend some time just thinking -- thinking about what a lifestyle change would mean to you. Thinking about what eating plan you are on and if it is flexible enough for your lifestyle. Thinking, mostly, about WHY you and to change and IF you REALLY want to change. Because there may be answers that surprise you -- maybe you've been at your current weight before and are afraid to get smaller. Not weird, but pretty common, fear of the unknown and all. Maybe relationships around you are changing, and that can be pretty scary. Maybe you are on a super-restrictive diet that leaves you craving certain foods. Maybe you just have to rule certain foods out and white knuckle it until the urge to snack passes. Maybe you need a more structured plan. Are you exercising? Perhaps adding an activity that you LIKE will re-emphasize your desire to change your lifestyle.

This IS a personal path, and it just sounds to me like you need to kind of redefine that path, just a bit...You'll be OK, because fortunately weight ISN'T permanent. But get ON this, so you don't go back up to where you were before.



06-29-2009, 03:35 PM
Before you take that first bite of that cake, that cookie, that xyz, ask yourself, each and every time:

-Do I really need this? Can I live without it?
-Is this going to get me closer to my goals – or further?
-How will I feel after I eat it?
-Why is it more important for me to eat it, then to lose the weight?
-What is it I want the MOST - that over in 30 seconds food or the long term satisfaction I get from eating healthy?
-Is it really worth it?

It’s about awareness, putting the brakes on, accountability.

I rely a LOT on self-talk. It's gotten me out of many a tight jam. I also have some food laws that I set up for myself that keep me in check. You bite it, your write it. That will surely put the brakes on. Find yourself some mantras that you can recite and set up some of your own food laws.

You also have to forget about tomorrow. Pushing it off means you're not doing what is required TODAY. And don't forget today was yesterdays tomorrow.

Stop giving yourself permission to eat these things. It's okay to tell yourself no! No harm will come to you - just the opposite in fact. Decide what it is you really want - that cake? or that slim trim body? - and go out there and get it - this very day - today. It's yours for the taking. :hug:

EDITED TO ADD: Ooh, almost forgot, read the bottom line of my signature. It's a good thing to remember.

06-29-2009, 03:41 PM
Also, may I ask why in the world there is cake in the first place?

There was cake at a b'day party on the weekend. Everyone was eating it and it looked so good so I though "just this one time" but this one time should never happen!

06-29-2009, 03:43 PM
I like rockinrobin's quote!

I'll add my own, too, which I heard from a very fit guy:
"Nothing tastes as good as being fit feels."

06-29-2009, 03:44 PM
But, Ms Lauren, if having cake occasionally IS important to you, there ARE plans out there that will let you work this in. Life is going to happen, and you need to figure out HOW to keep on living while you change your lifestyle. And this is different from the "restrictive diet" mentality, where you are either "good" or "bad" and things are OUT and other things are IN and if you slip you are a FAILURE...
IMHO, this kind of thinking may not be so productive in the long term when it comes to maintenance, unless you want to rule out BBQs, birthday cake, occasional treats with friends out of your life forever. Which means that you will be white-knuckling it FOREVER.

06-29-2009, 03:46 PM
Thanks for the advice Kiramira - I think looking into what my plan is actually restricting me from doing and what it is allowing me to doing will help. I need to find something to fit my own lifestyle.

06-29-2009, 03:51 PM

-begin butt kick- Now, if you DON"T find a plan, I'm going to run up to Markham on my ebike (it'll take a few days, but I'll get there!) and give you a small kick in the behind!!! I don't live too far away, so you better start NOW!!! -butt kick over-



06-29-2009, 03:58 PM
HaHa! Well that'll definitely kick me into gear :)

06-29-2009, 04:03 PM
Hmmm. *For me* the problem with saying yes to cake today, means it's also okay to say yes to it on the next today (tomorrow) and the next today and so on and so on. Cake, IMO is fine - once in a while. Not as an every day or even a weekly occurrence. Having that mentality is what got me to be 287 lbs. I also found the less and less I ate them, the less I wanted them. Eating them so frequently kept my wants for sugar alive and I needed to kill those wants. Dry em' up.

Anyway, who says you can't go to a BBQ or a birthday party, not eat cake AND STILL HAVE A GOOD TIME?!?! Why is having a good time dependent on eating certain foods?

We of course are all different. And different things work for different people. I hope with a little patience and experimentation you too can find what works for you - and what doesn't.

06-29-2009, 04:04 PM
Some people can have occasional treats and still move forward with weight loss...and some cannot. You have to figure out which category you fall into. I am in the NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN NOT ONE SINGLE BITE category...but most people are not. You just have to make your peace with whichever category you fall into. Hugs.

06-29-2009, 04:10 PM
I absolutely respect the path you are on and the success that you've had, Ms RockinRobin. And you are so RIGHT -- that things are different for different people.
Please don't think that I'm defining "having a good time" as food. It is just that there are times, FOR ME, where I enjoy having a glass of wine with my DH. And I know that at Christmas, I really enjoy having my perogies. I limit my interaction with these types of food. But darn it, I want to LIVE a little! Just from time to time. And I account for them in my plan. And it works, for me at least...
I don't mean that every BBQ or birthday is a festival day -- I think I've posted about this before -- not every occasion is a reason to indulge. But if I have an occasion coming up and I want to have a vodka cooler when I'm there, I enjoy having a plan that lets me work this in, that's all. And this is what I was referring to with our OPs comment that "the birthday cake shouldn't have happened" -- it sounds alot like an "all or nothing" diet mentality, and I just wanted to point out that there ARE plans that let you incorporate those things that are important to you WITHOUT judgement.

I've spent alot of years on super-restrictive diets, which resulted in alot of judgements about food and about myself and a whole bunch of self-loathing. Non-productive time, for sure. And if our OPs thoughts are leading to an "all or nothing" mentality, it might be comforting to her to know that there are different ways out there that will let you have some flexibility, and that work, too.



06-29-2009, 04:30 PM
I have read DCHound's posts in the past and I know that she has a carb "addiction." So do I. I do not restrict myself as severely as she does, but I know that if I have that type of food which is high in simple carbs, I am going to have a very difficult time getting back on track. So things like cake will always be VERY rare for me. In fact, the next time I plan to have something like that is going to be in October when I know my local bakery will come out with pumpkin doughnuts during our town's Pumpkin Show festival. Between now and then, I will be attending a wedding and birthdays, but I'm not willing to fight that high/simple carbs battle for those cakes, cookies, etc. I am willing to fight it for a pumpkin doughnut, but as you can see, I'm already preparing for this. Could it be that you have a carb addiction too? Not everyone does, but if you do, it is going to be a battle to turn down those kinds of carbs, but that's what you have to do--battle! Once you get away from high/simple carb foods, it's much easier to stay away from them, but you definitely have to get them out of your system, so just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if necessary!

06-29-2009, 04:48 PM
You bite it, you write it. .

Although I constantly try to evade it -- with every excuse, and each bite too many -- accountability is key to weight loss success. I think that writing every eaten thing down is a great idea. EVERYTHING! Even if you can't easily put a calorie count to it, write it down anyway, because it all adds up. I'm def going to try this.

Try keeping a water bottle on you at all times. It really keeps me from acting on my cravings.

06-29-2009, 05:19 PM
For me, I used to be completely addicted to pop, especially Coke and Pepsi. I would drink a can in the morning, a 32 oz. at lunch, and another can at dinner. And then I might even have another later that night. That's 710-860 extra calories a day just from pop alone. So as you can see, pop was definitely my vice, just like cakes, cookies, and sweets are yours. I gave up pop completely, and of course I still get cravings for it. So every time I want it, I try to take my mind of it by playing a game online or doing something productive with myself. BUT if I find that I just keep obsessing about it, I will take a few sips of my husbands, and that REALLY helps curb those cravings. So I guess what I am saying is, if you have the will power in you to stop, then take a bite or two of that cookie, but then throw the rest away. That's only if you KNOW you have it in you to stop yourself from eating the whole thing. It works for me at least, but we are all different.

06-29-2009, 06:00 PM
Has anyone been through this?? What helped you get pass it?? What techniques did you use to stop yourself from picking up that "piece of cake"??

Oh, yeah, been there, done that. Here are some thoughts:

1. Where are you coming across the cake/indulgence? Is it in your home, at work, in social settings, etc? In the places you can control it, essentially your home and car, just don't have it there. Much easier to resist baking it or buying it than listening to it call your name. If possible move it away from you or you away from it at the office.

2. I often just tell myself (and sometimes others that are offering) "Not today thanks!". For me, it is less onerous to the person offering and me if I just say I'm passing today. That means I have another chance to decide another day and that day I just might indulge.

3. Try to make a good/better/best choice each time and stop to consider what they might be. Good: Leave a bite behind Better: Only take 1/2 or 1/4 Best "Not Today Thanks!". I think for many of us with poor eating habits, training ourselves to actually make A decision is as important as making the Best choice, especially early in the journey.

4. Evaluate if it is 'worth the calories'. I have turned down many pieces of store bought cake in the past years but rarely turn away a piece of homemade anything. There was this HUGE, chocolate store bought cake that lived 3 steps from my chair a couple weeks ago at work. It looked good but not worth it to me.

5. Look up the calories (preferably before but after works for the next time). It can be mighty discouraging to eat it again once you have that piece of knowledge. If you are an exerciser or a math girl, figure out how many minutes of whatever exercise it will take you to burn that baby off again.

6. Early on, it might be good enough to say I'm only going to have x # of indulgences over y period of time. I've had times in my journey that 1x per DAY was a reasonable baby step and an improvement. That way you aren't off plan and starting over tomorrow or the next day and it is an improvement.

The one thing i would avoid is saying 'just for today' because I think that sets you up for the idea that you won't be able to have it, either again or for a long, long time. That is a sure fire way to find myself in rebellion mode over and over again. Find different words to talk about it. Also, beware if you are using it as a reward. That's a slippery slope too. Finding non-food rewards is really important.



06-29-2009, 06:19 PM
Thanks for the advice Peg and to all the girls - I am bringing back my will power.