100 lb. Club - Way OT but can anyone help me sort out an arugment? (LONG)




Rosinante
06-28-2009, 11:04 AM
Hi guys,

I had a fight on the phone with the DF I went on holiday with. Well he was patronizing,so I hung up. He rang back to check I had done and it wasn't a phone fault, and then told me I was f.ing rude.

I rang back to explain why I'd reacted to his behaviour but he sat in silence and didn't answer.

I asked chickies for their opinion as to how to move this on: do I ditch a friendship of 12 years or do I try and mend it and if so how.

I've cut this down now from the original long 'he said I said' spiel, because it truly was a bit sad for a woman of my age but I've never known how to stand up for myself adultly.

I appreciate all the comments and am now trogging to the end of the thread to answer.

Thanks guys.


bargoo
06-28-2009, 11:13 AM
I think I would find another friend, this one doesn't seem to be worth the aggravation.

Glory87
06-28-2009, 11:17 AM
He was rude, but hanging up on someone is more rude (in my opinion).


rockinrobin
06-28-2009, 12:11 PM
He was definitely unsympathetic. I don't think anyone could argue with that. But I don't think multiple hang ups were necessary either. Hmmm. If you value his friendship and I think you do, I would call him and apologize for your response to his unsympathetic tone.

I have lots of friends. And even my nearest and dearest friends, the ones that I talk to several times a week and we are as close as can be, well they all do something that annoys me every now and then. As I'm certain I do things to annoy them at times. If I didn't overlook those things, then I'd have no friends. I've come to accept this.

kiramira
06-28-2009, 12:15 PM
Hi there...
I don't think you were rude at all. Noone has to hold onto a call which is distressing and pointless. I've hung up on people who were berating me over the phone, because I don't need that in my life. I've always said prior to hanging up that we can continue to discuss this once you've decided to behave appropriately. So hanging up in this situation isn't rude.

You gotta ask yourself: Why are you in this friendship? What do you want from it? Are you likely to get it? And if you feel disrespected it in, why do you keep going back?

Only you can decide these things for yourself. I WOULD be wary of falling into a abusive-type pattern: he is very hurtful, there is silence, you apologize, you both reconcile, he demonstrates some sort of remorse (like taking you for dinner or something), then he is very hurtful, there is silence, and so on. It seems there may be elements of this here. Notice here that there is never an apology from the other, nor any attempt to resolve things nor make them better. There is no empathy here for your feelings. And the situation just keeps on repeating itself, over and over and over again.

Personally, and it is just ME, the next time we spoke, I would explain how his behaviour made you feel and ask for a sincere apology if he wants the relationship to continue. I would also apologize for my role in the issue, but I would really make RECEIVING an acceptable apology a deal breaker. If he laughs you off or says "fine, sorry" and isn't sincere, you really should consider breaking off this relationship because IMHO it is really bordering on the edge of being emotionally abusive. You can have just as much fun in your life with people who actually care about how you feel. THESE are the people you can quarrel with and quibble with, but can work things out so you feel respected. I don't get the sense that this is one of those people.

JMHO (I've been there...:hug:)

Kira

Trazey34
06-28-2009, 12:24 PM
well you're kind of lucky if you're a grownup and haven't had to deal with a friend fight before LOL If he's more trouble than he's worth (and let's face it, boys aren't the ones to go to for sympathy over a bad day, they want to FIX things, not LISTEN to us whinge) just cut him loose and move on, but if he's someone you want to hang on to, I've always found taking a bottle of wine, or a pie, or some fruit salad, anything! over to their place and say "look, we're both idiots, let's call it quits" and make up

JayEll
06-28-2009, 12:52 PM
You know... from reading between the lines in your description of the events, I think he just doesn't like you very much.

If this is a "friendship with benefits," and if I'm correct that he doesn't like you very much, then it could be that he is "putting up with you" to enjoy those benefits.

Because this is how guys act when they aren't that interested, frankly.

So, if I were in your position, I would just not initiate further contact. He sounds like a passive-aggressive personality, and this will not be the last time you find yourself in this situation. If he doesn't initiate contact either, then you have your answer.

Meanwhile, you could turn your attention elsewhere, toward people who are more understanding and less self-centered.

Jay

Rosinante
06-28-2009, 01:41 PM
Gosh, thankyou for all the great replies.

I think I would find another friend, this one doesn't seem to be worth the aggravation.
Only sometimes is he not worth the aggro, and today is one of them; but then none of us is perfect, is what I come back to.

He was rude, but hanging up on someone is more rude (in my opinion).
I never thought of it as rude, so that's interesting. Inept, yes, because I don't know how to to state my case when someone's being a pig, without crying.

He was definitely unsympathetic. I don't think anyone could argue with that. But I don't think multiple hang ups were necessary either. Hmmm. If you value his friendship and I think you do, I would call him and apologize for your response to his unsympathetic tone.

I have lots of friends. And even my nearest and dearest friends, the ones that I talk to several times a week and we are as close as can be, well they all do something that annoys me every now and then. As I'm certain I do things to annoy them at times. If I didn't overlook those things, then I'd have no friends. I've come to accept this.
I kind of cling to the 2nd hang up, on the basis of always hanging up on someone who uses the f. word at me! I do value his friendship but, at the same time, it always feels like me who has to put up with occasional bad behaviour and lack of sympathy from him, while I always give him the sympathy he asks for, when he does. Hm.

You gotta ask yourself: Why are you in this friendship? What do you want from it? Are you likely to get it? And if you feel disrespected it in, why do you keep going back?
Oh boy! good one! We used to work together, just a team of 2. It didn't work too well because although we get on very well (when we do), he couldn't cope with the fact that we were meant to be equals, and was always 'in charge', which got wearing. However, once I'd left, we rang, emailed, met and eventually began going on holiday together. No strings. I've moved a long way. He's someone that many people are in awe of, the world is littered with women who've thrown themselves at him and missed (just not that interested). So yes, there was a huge inner kudos at having him as a friend. I've reflected over the years - because it would be really bad of me to claim to be his friend when really he was just a trophy - and over the years, a real friendship has developed. I do (look out, here comes a deep inner thought) often feel like the junior partner, the sidekick, the small wheel on the pennyfarthing but I'm not able to say whether *I* impose that or he. I have an inner conviction, in every human relationship, of not being good enough. No, counselling didn't help either. hm.

Meanwhile, you could turn your attention elsewhere, toward people who are more understanding and less self-centered.
No, no 'benefits' involved! I suppose, even setting aside whether I like him or not, there's fear of there being nobody. It just isn't that easy making new friends, it truly isn't. and yes, I do hear how unhealthy that sounds....


Thankyou all for giving me food for thought - non calorific.

JayEll
06-28-2009, 02:41 PM
I do (look out, here comes a deep inner thought) often feel like the junior partner, the sidekick, the small wheel on the pennyfarthing but I'm not able to say whether *I* impose that or he.

It's him. Believe me. And you do your part by accepting that. If you started to assert yourself against that, you would find... well, you would find yourself where you are now.

Yes, it's hard to make new friends. Especially when you can just keep the old one and tell yourself it's "good enough."

Whether he stays one of your friends or not, it would be good to have other people to do things with...

Jay

Windchime
06-28-2009, 02:53 PM
No, no 'benefits' involved! I suppose, even setting aside whether I like him or not, there's fear of there being nobody. It just isn't that easy making new friends, it truly isn't. and yes, I do hear how unhealthy that sounds....

I missed the original post before you edited it (darn it! sounds juicy! ;) ) so I can't really offer much advice on that, other than this: Usually when I have done the "hang up" thing on someone, it's because I feel very unequal in the relationship and/or the conversation and it's my way of controlling how and when it ends. I don't know if that's true for you, too, but it's something to consider.

As for the part I quoted above--I have trouble making new friends, too, but I've only just recently come to realize that this is really all because of me. Not that I'm not good enough or no fun, but because I have the idea in my head that I'd be bugging people if I called them, maybe I'm not much fun, I probably want to do dumb things, etc. But that's really not true, I don't think. I attended a class reunion this weekend and it has really got me thinking. I realized this morning after a weekend of socializing that I'm lonely a lot of the time. And then I started to mentally tick off all the opportunites to do things with people that I have rejected in the past few months. An invitation from a high school girlfriend to re-establish contact. A phone call from another woman I was friends with 10 years ago; she's back in town and called me weeks ago, and I haven't returned her call. An invitation to go pour wine at a co-worker's wine tasting event. An offer for free baseball tickets, for crying out loud. (I'm calling today for those).

So search the events of the past 6 months or so, and see if there are any opportunties like this that you have passed on for whatever reason. I honestly had no idea that there were any at all, until I started really thinking about it and realized that people *have* reached out to me; I just have cluelessly let those opportunities pass.

You seem like a lovely person. I would imagine there would be many people who would be very, very happy to have such a decent person as their friend.

susiemartin
06-28-2009, 03:03 PM
" True Friendship Is Never Serene" -
and 12 years is a long time. :)

I wouldn't ditch a friend because of a phone tiff and it has nothing to do with having a hard time making friends or being a door mat or push over.

If it were me I'd call him back & be honest.
First off you need to apologize for hanging up (childish & you started it). It is very rude to hang up on people. Sorry if you don't want to hear it - you asked :hug:
Tell him why he set you off - his tone or attitude was patronizing and you won't abide it- let him know. But also tell him you don't want to loose his friendship. Lots of men get silent - he's stewing and doesn't know what to say. Men sometimes aren't so great expressing inner feelings and don't always react well when feeling threatened.
Good luck

cfmama
06-28-2009, 03:08 PM
I'm sorry this is happening babe. He sounds like he's being an ***... TELL him he's being an ***. Tell him what YOU need from this friendship and then ask him what HE needs. I think you BOTH are ticking one another off and you guys need to hash it out. In person. Without swearing ;)

*big hugs*

Rosinante
06-28-2009, 03:16 PM
Windchime - omg, you're me! I'm so sorry. :wink: I really, genuinely think I'm a bother to people, when (the occasional) invitations suggest that might not be the case. I'll work on that, and I'll work on doing some research into places/opportunities to make friends. Hll, if I can lose weight, I can do this.

Susie - no, I don't like it but I'm not saying you're wrong. Not ready to say you're right either lol. It is also very rude to patronize someone who's rung for a bit of casual support and chat, so I'm not quite ready for what, experience dictates, would be a one-sided apology.

Rosinante
06-28-2009, 03:24 PM
ok. rung and left a msg, yes I know it's not ideal but I do know this guy and 10 to 1 no, odds on, he was sat there monitoring the calls. or he'd come in and dial 1471 and find a silent call from me.

"Hi. Hm. Maybe you're eating or maybe you're hiding from the phone. I'm sorry I hung up on you. I felt that you were patronizing my choice of [place of employment] and I didn't like it; but I shouldn't have hung up. Maybe talk to you again soon.'


I said it nicely.



I still think he was bl**dy rude though.

Windchime
06-28-2009, 03:45 PM
Windchime - omg, you're me! I'm so sorry. :wink: I really, genuinely think I'm a bother to people, when (the occasional) invitations suggest that might not be the case. I'll work on that, and I'll work on doing some research into places/opportunities to make friends. Hll, if I can lose weight, I can do this.

Susie - no, I don't like it but I'm not saying you're wrong. Not ready to say you're right either lol. It is also very rude to patronize someone who's rung for a bit of casual support and chat, so I'm not quite ready for what, experience dictates, would be a one-sided apology.

Good girl! Try to just tell yourself that you will accept the next invitation that comes your way, if it's at all reasonable. Maybe you'll skip the invitation to participate in the pie-eating contest, but if it's reasonable please consider accepting. I think a lot of the time, us shy types tend to not even realize that we are passing up activities that could turn out to be a lot of fun.

And maybe it's time for you and DF to take a break. You did just spent a lot of time together and maybe you need a bit of a break from him. And since you'll be busy accepting other invitations as they come along (or perhaps issuing invitations of your own!), you may find that you're less willing to fully accept a friendship where the apologies seem to be one-sided. Not saying that you should cut him off, but often we find that as we widen our social circle, we can change the status quo of our current friendships.

Good luck!

CLCSC145
06-28-2009, 03:46 PM
Windchime - omg, you're me! I'm so sorry. :wink: I really, genuinely think I'm a bother to people, when (the occasional) invitations suggest that might not be the case. I'll work on that, and I'll work on doing some research into places/opportunities to make friends. Hll, if I can lose weight, I can do this.



Chalk up one more for the "I think I'm a bother" club. Clearly a manifestation of my imagination and my basement level self-esteem. And yet, I can't seem shake it, especially as my friends have married and had kids. I even worry that I am bothering my therapist with my worries about bothering other people! :dizzy:

Rosinante
06-28-2009, 04:22 PM
Good girl! Try to just tell yourself that you will accept the next invitation that comes your way, if it's at all reasonable. Maybe you'll skip the invitation to participate in the pie-eating contest, but if it's reasonable please consider accepting. I think a lot of the time, us shy types tend to not even realize that we are passing up activities that could turn out to be a lot of fun.

And maybe it's time for you and DF to take a break. You did just spent a lot of time together and maybe you need a bit of a break from him. And since you'll be busy accepting other invitations as they come along (or perhaps issuing invitations of your own!), you may find that you're less willing to fully accept a friendship where the apologies seem to be one-sided. Not saying that you should cut him off, but often we find that as we widen our social circle, we can change the status quo of our current friendships.

Good luck!

Thankyou, that's really helpful. I was panicking as how to possibly start at my age, making friends, not dissimilar to the panic at the start of a loooong weightloss journey. Your suggestions make sense! Babysteps. Process. Thankyou!

Rosinante
06-28-2009, 04:27 PM
Chalk up one more for the "I think I'm a bother" club. Clearly a manifestation of my imagination and my basement level self-esteem. And yet, I can't seem shake it, especially as my friends have married and had kids. I even worry that I am bothering my therapist with my worries about bothering other people! :dizzy:

Clearly we need our own subgroup. If nobody minds......:dizzy::hug::D


Actually, many years ago I did have a lightbulb moment, and realized/came to believe that it's because I was a supplanted first child: at 18 months my brother came along (very fond of my brothers, thankyou); I remember nothing of it (although my mother tells the tale of how 'good' I was about the new baby until I saw her feed him with 'my' bottle, then I howled) but it makes total sense to me that I will always be found wanting and replaced with a new model.

Hey, I KNOW that's not what happened but it's so ingrained it feels like the natural order of things. Can't seem to work out any strategies to shift it.

Rosinante
07-10-2009, 05:09 PM
So just being a bit sad tonight.
A few days after the phone thing, I rang and explained how his behaviour had made me feel; that I understood his current stressful situation and if I could take some of his workload temporarily to let me know. He said he'd ring back. He didn't.
Last week I knew he had an important work interview. I rang to see how it had gone. He answered civilly. I've heard no more.
Today I emailed, cos we've got flights booked for September, saying hi, do you want to do a lunch to sort out our trip. No answer.

Mature reflection has convinced me I was right to hang up - he was beating me up verbally, who has to stay and be bullied?
He's clearly going to hold this grudge for ever, and is making determined efforts to punish me.
I refuse to be punished for having human rights; but I am very sad that apparently 12 years has come to an end. Not guilty, just sad; like a little death.
I still won't medicate with food though.
:sad:

dragonwoman64
07-10-2009, 06:27 PM
geez louise, my bf's family hold grudges against each other for YEARS, literally! so friggin' immature. drives me nuts

the more you call and email him probably makes him (quite immaturely) gleefully self righteous, unfortunately.

try to keep in mind that this is something goofy about HIM, he could have something in his past that has made him freak out in this particular situation (I'm probably being overly nice here, heh heh), ie, his mother used to hang up on him and it has given him a complex (doh!).

don't worry so much about the friendship ending or continuing (you certainly don't have to make a decision one way or the other if you don't want to). but keep in mind for future reference how much you want to invest in someone who handles his relationships this way.

think of it this way: he's the one who should be sad, he has the problem and he's been nasty to a good friend of his.

CLCSC145
07-10-2009, 06:50 PM
I'm sorry, Ailidh. I just got off the phone with a friend of mine who was lamenting that a friendship he's had for 15 years might have run its course. I'll tell you what I told him. Don't be the one to break it off and don't say anything you'll regret. The best thing you can do is let her know that you still want to continue the friendship and then let her make the next overture. No sense beating your head against the wall or begging when you've done nothing wrong. If you make it known you are still there if they want to be friends and they don't, then it's their loss. If they do still want to be friends, it's clear the ball is in their court to make the next move.

Regardless, it's painful to see someone go who has been a friend. Especially when you don't have a long list of friends in the first place (speaking purely for myself!). But it's also important to be true to yourself too and not take on responsibility for someone else's poor behavior. As someone who has apologized one too many times for something that was not my fault to simply keep the peace, I can say that does very little for your self-esteem.

JayEll
07-10-2009, 07:37 PM
Seems to me the ball is in his court now. So, go on with your life. If he doesn't have the wherewithal to contact you about the September trip, then chances are he's not going. Once it gets to the point where you have to make a decision about the trip--do that. You can either cancel the trip or find someone else to go with you. And at that point you can leave him another message telling him what you've decided to do, having not heard.

Try not to see this as a loss. If he cared about you as a friend, he wouldn't still be acting this way. You've been civil and you've explained. It may be he is just tired of the relationship--if so, it's his loss, perhaps--nothing you can do about it.

Jay

harrismm
07-10-2009, 09:47 PM
Seriously.I hang up on people all of the time.My friends and family will agree!!!When I am disrespected, I hang up.When I am trying to prevent an argument , I hang up.When I am annoyed, I hang up.Its just how I am.And another thing, I dont appologize for it!!

time2lose
07-10-2009, 09:58 PM
Ailidh,

I don't really have any advice but wanted to give you a hug. :hug:

Windchime
07-10-2009, 10:48 PM
It can be very sad when a friendship ends, if that is indeed what's happening. Sometimes, though, things end because there needs to be room made for the next thing that's coming. I still am getting the feeling that you have experienced a lot of personal growth over the past few months; your posts lately seem to be very reflective of that. It really makes me wonder if you've outgrown him.

I had a friend years ago, when I was getting a divorce. He came to work at my office, and he was new to town and also getting a divorce. We became friends and helped each other deal with that for over a year, then it started getting toxic. We were drinking too much together, and we crossed that line that sometimes friends of the opposite sex cross and that was nothing but trouble! Anyway....he moved and the friendship continued over the phone and distance for awhile, but eventually fizzled and died. I was really sad for awhile, but then I came to learn that the season of this friendship was over. I was healing, moving on, and so was he. So we were really good friends--best friends, in fact--for quite awhile, but that time eventually ended.

So maybe try to think of it that way, if that's not too difficult. You are maturing, growing, learning and maybe the season of this friendship is ending. Maybe not, but maybe so. I know it hurts, though, even knowing that sometimes this is just how things go.

Rosinante
07-11-2009, 05:56 AM
Thankyou for your kind and reflective words.

I won't make any more overtures, the ones I have made seemed responsible, any more would be begging.
I do take the point of not being the one to say something regrettable. Indeed, that's why I hung up in the first place.

It may well be that this has run its course - I'm still just a bit knocked that, apparently out of the blue, it has imploded. So yes, I'm sad if is is The End, endings are nearly always sad. I'm also very sad to be on the receiving end of what feels like such concentrated spite.

TraceyElaine
07-11-2009, 11:09 AM
Sometimes people act like boneheads. Myself included. I can t imagine having a tiff with a valued friend and not being able to mak up. I'[d have no friends left lol.

Rosinante
07-11-2009, 12:19 PM
yes, that's what's making me really sad today. I've tried everything (and I don't mean that in a mean spirit, if I could think of anything else to do I'd do it) seems I just can't fix this.
It feels like being in the middle of a snow globe at the minute, sad that 12 years is apparently over, sad that he evidently thinks so little of me that he'd rather cling onto spite than accept my overtures, empty because he's been someone that's always been there for in the background of my daily consciousness for me a rock I was assured of and I assumed we'd grow old in our separate togetherness, scared (and I guess this sounds bad) because now I'm down to one friend, upset because my vacation companion has vanished; and the rest.

JayEll
07-11-2009, 12:58 PM
I'm so sorry, Alidh. :(

It does sound like you had a lot more invested in this relationship than he did. Basically, and with or without "benefits," it sounds like you loved him a lot. And it's kind of clear that he doesn't share the feelings.

It was probably nice and comfy, though, from what you're saying. You didn't have to make new friends. :(

I have a friend who has a similar story--there was a man in her life for 9 years. He even had a room in her house. They were not sexual--he told her he was celibate. But she felt he was her soul mate and that they were always in a sort of psychic contact... Well, one day he asked my friend how he should approach this woman he worked with to ask for a date. My friend was kind of taken aback. Anyway, he did ask this other woman out, and before you could even say "not celibate?" they were an ITEM and he was gone. My friend was really blown away by it.

I say, this is a wonderful opportunity for you, Alidh. You deserve a better friend than this man.

Jay

Rosinante
07-11-2009, 03:01 PM
Yep, I guess I should consider myself dumped.
Still don't quite get it. If someone dumps me because once in 12 years I tell them that how they're treating me at that moment is making me feel bad, I assume he was looking for a reason to let the friendship go; but in any given week we were likely to talk on the phone 3-5 times, and it was just as likely to be him seeking me out, so I don't understand.
Bit of a dark hole, and I'd be glad to stop crying any time soon.

CountingDown
07-11-2009, 04:10 PM
:hug:
Repeat after me: "I deserve better, I deserve better".

Seriously, you did what you needed to do - indeed it was imperative for your growth and emotional well being.

Time will tell what the outcome will be. If this is the end, then you are absolutely better off without him in your life.

If not, then this is only a bump on the road.

Whatever, you MUST take care of YOU. Friends may come and friends may go. While it is sad, it is part of the ebb and flow of life. In the long run, it may be for the best.

Stay strong!

:grouphug:

Alana in Canada
07-12-2009, 02:15 AM
:hug:

Ailidh, I am so sorry. The end of any relationship is so sad. But you do seem to be growing and becoming more "whole." It just strikes me that way.

A fellow who must always have folks "looking up" to him or somehow being their "superior" must have a companion/friend who lets him do that. It is very hard to redefine your role with another person--especially when the relationship is somehow founded on unequal pavement.

If this hadn't happened--it would have had to have happened in another way. You're moving on up those steps: you won't "stay" in your subordinate role anymore--and unless HE changes, it sounds like that pedestal he fancies he standing on isn't big enough for anyone else--even a hot slim chick like you!

Rosinante
07-12-2009, 03:09 AM
The two of you are so right, and I do appreciate yours and everyone's comments.

I suppose, apart from the sadness of the particular situation, I'm just really scared of the black hole that's left. In my adult life, I haven't made friends easily. When he and I worked together, we got on well as people but we struggled at colleagues, for exactly this 'only room for one on the pedestal' reason but when I left, we became friends. The first holiday we took together was his suggestion, I didn't chase him. We have supported each other through some very dark times. No hang on, I didn't mean to re-hash it all, what I started to say was: however disfunctional it occasionally was, for 7 years this was a significant friendship that felt mutual...no, going off target again.... I'm scared. I don't make friends easily, I'm friendLY with plenty people but in depth, ring at midnight, go on holiday, share a laugh friends - I didn't have one before him, I don't have one now. I don't know how I acquired him, I have absolutely no idea how to make another such companion, so all I can foresee is a middle age reaching into old age of stoic loneliness, the same as I had before we met.

OK. Today I'm trying to work out how to treat me gently but without excess food. Suggestions welcome!

Rosinante
07-12-2009, 04:13 AM
or I could just go round singing Gloria Gaynore - 'I will survive'!!!!!:devil::D;)

Windchime
07-12-2009, 11:05 AM
or I could just go round singing Gloria Gaynore - 'I will survive'!!!!!:devil::D;)

I'd pay good money to see a video of that! :)

Have you thought any more about what I said a week or so ago, about taking advantage of any and all social opportunities that come your way? Are there any invitations that you've turned down that were an opportunity to mix with other people?

Also, I just thought of another idea. You mentioned that you have a lot of free time during the week, due to the nature of your job. Have you thought about volunteering?

Windchime
07-12-2009, 11:09 AM
Oh, I forgot about the suggestions on how to treat yourself well today:

-Allow yourself a good cry, if your a cryin' sort of gal
-Do you knit or embroider? (I do). Go buy yourself a fun little project to start, to keep your hands and mind engaged. If it's got fun yarn or sparkly beads, so much the better.
-A good book and a tall glass of iced tea
-Take the pups for a long walk
-Find a good radio channel (I love internet radio!) and turn it up while you tidy up the house. If dancing happens, well, dancing happens.
-Get some racy polish and do your toenails

Alana in Canada
07-12-2009, 02:53 PM
Well, it's likely the day is over for you now. How did it go?

I don't know exactly where you are on the big island, but what about touring one of those fabulous historic sites you have there or a museum? Ort an Art Gallery. What I wouldn't give to have that big museum in London on Trafalgar square available to me and the kids.

If I were you and had access to the country side (which is just a short train ride, really) I'd go on a long ramble and look at the sheep on the hills--or just the hills nearby.

What about a historic house garden tour? Are there any in your area?

What about joining the hordes at the beach?

There's always a play, isn't there? And a fair or fete?

Take a camera with you, take pictures and post them to a blog. Then tell all of us and we'll go and look and leave comments.

That would be fantastic.

Rosinante
07-12-2009, 03:05 PM
Thanks for all the suggestions, ladies.
I feel a lot better today, which I'm glad about, the last 2 days were kind of sad, as in shedding tears sad, which is healthy, I guess.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow but I certainly have a lot of desk work to catch up on, the week just kind of climbed into a black hole. Guess I'm lucky that my job allows that.
I will definitely do something nice for me though.
thankyou, you are all ace.