Hiya :)
My name is Tara. I'm 26 years old and I just hit the 280 pound mark yesterday, which at 5'3 is double the weight I should be at.
I have been heavy most of my life. Ever since I hit puberty the weight just came on so much easier than ever taking it off. My mother and grandmother are also overweight women. Being raised around them I learned the bad dieting behaviors and now am suffering the consquences. I'm not a strong willed person.
I met and married my husband in 2002. I weighed 190 pounds and wore a size 13. Compared to the 260ish pounds I was in highschool, I felt great! I felt attractive, I was active; weight lifting and jogging and had found confidence.
After we were married for about 6 months we learned we were expecting our first baby! We were thrilled. I stayed active but had packed on about 20 pounds by month 6. That's when my whole life took a turning point. I went into labor and after a horrish incident involving flight-for-life across the state, 72 hours of labor, huge quantities of drugs to postpone labor, 2 misplaced epidurals and huge blood loss I awoke Sept. 19, 2003 to find my infant son stillborn, still in his bag of waters beside my body. The epidural had been turned up so high I couldn't feel myself deliver the baby in the middle of the night.
We later learned I have an incompetent cervix. I put on the weight after this. I was deeply depressed. I felt and still do, to some degree, responsible and horrified at what my body had done to my baby. My next pregnancies (I have two children, a 4 yr old boy and a 15month old girl) required me to be on strict bedrest from week 12 till delivery. During each pregnancy my weight climbed higher. I shrugged it off for the longest time. I mean I was on bedrest, least that's how I was justifying it. I didn't bother losing weight between the pregnancies either. I kept telling myself, why bother? I'll pack it all on again anyway because I knew we wanted at least 2 children.
Well, now I am soooooo done having kids. I couldn't survive another battle of bedrest and keep what mental capacity I have left, LoL. And yesterday I stepped on the scale and then off... then back on... and off, and repeated this a few more times. I have offically hit 280 pounds. The highest weight for me ever. I feel awful, look awful and am horribly embarassed for my kids and husband of my appearance. I don't want my children growing up with the same unhealthy habits I did and I would really like to be alive to see any future grand-babies, heck, to see my kids graduate at the rate I'm going.
My husband and I recently moved to West Virginia and shortly after our move we learned my husband has developed diabetes. We need to make a change... I need to make a change. I feel I have more responsiblitiy and control over my family's health (I do the cooking, the shopping and dictate the daily routine of my children) and I need help!
I am extremely excited to have found this site and can not wait to make friends and hopefully some weight loss support. I've already browsed the before and after pics on some of the success stories and it makes me feel more motivated already! If they can do it... I know I can too.
Thank you for letting me ramble and my appologies on the long intro.
A new member,
Tara
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I am sorry to hear the hard things that have happened to you, but tomorrow is a fresh day and I hope for wonderful things for you like losing the weight you want to lose! You can do it! 
Just like you learned bad eating habits, you can replace that knowledge with healthy eating habits. May I suggest a book on eating healthy. I have one called 'The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth' and I love it! 
