100 lb. Club - Please, I need desperately need HELP!




Runundefined
06-24-2009, 08:34 AM
I truly need some kind words more than I have ever needed them. Seriously ever needed them in my life. I want to join you all in this thread. I really need help, something has got to change for me.

I posted this also in the 40 something's. I need all the support I can get right now, I don't think I have truly ever felt this down. I am really not sure where to even start again. I truly think I have given up and I just realized my weight is over 100# more than I weighed when I was in college and well over 100 more than I should weigh.

I am 45 years old and need to lose over 100#. I can't find a word to describe how I feel. Stupefied might be a good one.

I feel numb thinking about doing this. It's an incredibly overwhelming feeling I can't seem to wrap my mind around. It's like every time I start thinking about it I sort of just short circuit and my mind fizzles.

I don't know where or how to find the motivation. I have been losing and gaining the same 70# over and over and over again in the last 10 years.

I have not posted in a while and I am so far gone I don't know how I will ever get back on track.

My husband and I just went to Chicago for a visit with family and I felt like a slug the entire time. Everyone running up and down the Navy Pier and Shopping the "Magnificent Mile" and I could hardly move, much less keep up.

I was embarrassed and very angry with myself. Instead of taking charge and eating right I totally gorged myself each and every day using the excuse that it is "Chicago Food".. and well Lord knows I can't "get that here in Orlando". What a joke.

Now I just feel overwhelmed and don't really know where to start. I desperately need a few encouraging words.

I am going in to change my stats. 234.5 pounds today and I am not even 5' 4".


time2lose
06-24-2009, 08:47 AM
Hi and Welcome,

I don't have time for a lengthy post but want to give you a hug :hug:. Many of us have been where you are or in worse shape. You can change your life. Read ChocLabLover's post, One year ago today…. (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=174901) It is truly inspiring.

You have come to the right place for support and I look forward to seeing you here.

Heather
06-24-2009, 08:48 AM
You first need to take a deep breath! Of course you're overwhelmed. I know I was at about 300 pounds and 39 years old.

Don't think about all the weight you have to lose. That's too much. Instead, think about losing 5 pounds. You can lose 5 pounds, right?

If you aren't the kind of person who can make large lifestyle changes all at once, then just simply start by making some changes and then build on those.

Trust me, we've been there. We know how you feel. And yet, we've made it through. When I was in the place you are I was able to use it as motivation to begin. Then I made a long-term commitment: to be fitter at 50 than when I turned 40. And I began...

GOOD LUCK!


ladyrider72472
06-24-2009, 09:01 AM
Runundefined, Welcome first of all.

I, as well as many others know the feeling of despair and urgency in this! You have come to the right place.

The best piece of advise I can give you is do what works for you. There is a way of eating that works for just YOU--- when you find that perfect it for your life. When you get that done, find the exercise that works for YOU. Find something you can and will do that makes YOU feel better! I promise if you do that, it will be much easier to do this. I am not done losing weight, but I do know that I have been on the weight loss roller coaster many times over the span of 20 years (almost the age of my oldest son). It is a day to day battle-- but this time it is different b/c I am using all of the diet knowledge I learned in the past and I have found something that is working for MY BODY! So, no matter the plan, no matter the exercise--- just do what is best for your life. BTW, I have posted this before and it drives some people nuts, but weighing more often than once a week for me is key. Last week I tried tossing the scales out, b/c "you are not supposed to weigh more than once a week" and "you are more than just a number" and the "number should not dictate how you feel", but in reality, weighing often is what got me to the point I am at now. I don't want a surprise when I step on the scale b/c for me 1 pound gain turns into 2, 5, 10........ and that is what works for ME.

Sorry to ramble on..... I hope through the ramblings you find a glimmer of hope. PM if you would like. :hug:

Tammy

thinpossible
06-24-2009, 09:14 AM
I am 45 years old and need to lose over 100#. I can't find a word to describe how I feel. Stupefied might be a good one.

I feel numb thinking about doing this. It's an incredibly overwhelming feeling I can't seem to wrap my mind around. It's like every time I start thinking about it I sort of just short circuit and my mind fizzles.

I don't know where or how to find the motivation. I have been losing and gaining the same 70# over and over and over again in the last 10 years.

I have not posted in a while and I am so far gone I don't know how I will ever get back on track.

:welcome:

You will get back on track the same way you got off track: one bite at a time. I'm 43, under 5', and over 200lbs. We're in the same boat, and we're not going to sink! (It's a heavily reinforced boat :lol:)

:hug: Many of us here have felt the same way. Don't think of it in terms of losing 100 lbs. Who wouldn't be overwhelmed at the thought?! We each lose our weight 1 lb at a time, think in baby steps. There is hope! You CAN do this. I think the best way to make the task a head of you seem more manageable and less desperate and discouraging is to be very specific about where you are, how you got here, and how you're going to get where you want to be. Dig deep.

---> What is contributing to you keeping the weight? I'm not talking about emotional issues, but what actions are you taking or not taking that are keeping you unhealthy? Are you a late night eater, a junk food junky, do you clean your kids plates or eat while you cook? List as many areas, habits as you can that are contributing to your problem.

---> Pick a plan you can stick to. There are lots of them to choose from, and you'll find lot of support here. Don't worry about how much you have to lose or how fast you can lose it. You're in this for the long haul. Design a sensible food/exercise plan that suits you. Something you know you can do. Shape it over time. In the mean time, start today. Pick one or two things you can do today. Small ways you can alter your eating today. A little exercise today. Walk around the block.


:welcome2: You CAN do this!

2behealthy
06-24-2009, 09:24 AM
I'll second what Heather said- focus on 5 pounds at a time. If I looked at the 112 I needed to lose I would have not even started and I am 44.

Your ticker says you already lost 22 pounds- you are off to a good start! You can lose 5 more- YES you can! Don't worry about the 5 after that- just keeping thinking of the 5 your are on. Maybe plan some little rewards every 5 pounds.

Forgive yourself for what happened while you were away and give yourself a fresh start. I keep a daily journal and give myself a fresh piece of paper every day- If I want to look back on a good day I can, but those bad days are over once they get moved from the clipboard to the binder and I can move on.

Consider yourself hugged and there are lots of us here to lean on!

mypunkrockromance
06-24-2009, 09:25 AM
I feel this way so often I can't even tell you. I'll be 30 in January and I've been overweight for more than half of my life. I haven't had a date in I don't know how long. I think it's because of the way I look but honestly I don't have any confidence in myself and I think that's another reason. I'm worried that I'll never get married or have kids. I rarely have any energy, I'm starting to get aches and pains constantly, which is probably from carrying around all this extra weight. I'm terrified that diabetes is going to set in, if it hasn't already.

What I'm trying to say is, I completely understand how you are feeling. I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and be 160 pounds. **** I'd settle for under 200. I haven't been under 200 lbs in probably ten years. But unfortunately it just doesn't happen that way. You've already lost like 20 pounds though and that is AMAZING!! I lost 15 about two years back and I felt so awesome.

For me when I see the number on the scale go down, it's okay. What really motivates me is when I put on clothes and they are loose. Or when someone tells me I look like I'm losing weight.

I hope you have someone in your life who will do this for you. I recommend staying with this board as much as possible. The people here are so supportive. I drift in and out but I really should post every single day.

You just have to be strong, and I know that is the hardest thing in the world right now. But if you stick with it you'll get there.

I wish I was better at practicing what I preach!

rockinrobin
06-24-2009, 09:28 AM
Hi there, I remember you!

I know how you feel. I know it well. I was 287 lbs at only 5 feet tall a mere 3 years ago. I was 42 at the time. I celebrate my 2 year "goal" anniversary in a couple of weeks.

Thank goodness that losing weight is a doable thing and something that you CAN control. Thank G-d you haven't been "diagnosed" with some incurable disease. This IS something you can reverse.

The way to do that - decide to. People ask me all the time how I lost so much weight and I tell them simply - "I decided to". I was done with being fat and scared and miserable and wasting away my life settling for second best when first was well within my reach. And I decided to do something about it. I was at the point where I was willing, more then willing to do what was necessary to get the job done - permanently. I then made the commitment TO do it and everything kind of fell into place after that.

The bottom line was/is permanent weight loss could not occur for me until the desire to be thin, fit, trim and healthy outweighed, overpowered and overtook the desire for "those foods".

I therefore overhauled my entire lifestyle. Switching out the poor eating habits and behaviors and adding in good healthy,sensible, reasonable sustainable habits. It was time to be responsible about my food intake. It meant getting rid of "those foods" and seeking out newer, healthier ones. Ones that are satisfying, highly nutritious, voluminous, lower in calories and DELICIOUS.

Being overweight is a choice. Being fit and healthy is a choice as well. The choice is yours. You without a doubt 100% can lose the weight. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. Know that. :hug:

lizzyINPA
06-24-2009, 10:20 AM
:welcome:

You will get back on track the same way you got off track: one bite at a time. I'm 43, under 5', and over 200lbs. We're in the same boat, and we're not going to sink! (It's a heavily reinforced boat :lol:)

:hug: Many of us here have felt the same way. Don't think of it in terms of losing 100 lbs. Who wouldn't be overwhelmed at the thought?! We each lose our weight 1 lb at a time, think in baby steps. There is hope! You CAN do this. I think the best way to make the task a head of you seem more manageable and less desperate and discouraging is to be very specific about where you are, how you got here, and how you're going to get where you want to be. Dig deep.

---> What is contributing to you keeping the weight? I'm not talking about emotional issues, but what actions are you taking or not taking that are keeping you unhealthy? Are you a late night eater, a junk food junky, do you clean your kids plates or eat while you cook? List as many areas, habits as you can that are contributing to your problem.

---> Pick a plan you can stick to. There are lots of them to choose from, and you'll find lot of support here. Don't worry about how much you have to lose or how fast you can lose it. You're in this for the long haul. Design a sensible food/exercise plan that suits you. Something you know you can do. Shape it over time. In the mean time, start today. Pick one or two things you can do today. Small ways you can alter your eating today. A little exercise today. Walk around the block.


:welcome2: You CAN do this!


I totally agree with this. Yes, I hear in your post how desperate you are... I'm sorry... and I understand. :grouphug:

I want to suggest to you to look at just TODAY... pick something you can do Today -- let's say, drink more water. Take a 15 minute walk, at whatever pace YOU can handle. It's just too much to think about the entire picture; so try to focus on the here and now. And as you can handle those things you chose you can add a few things. And post here, we all care and will do everything we can to lift you up and nudge you along the way.

Big hugs. you CAN do this.

scarletmeshell
06-24-2009, 10:37 AM
Weclome!

bargoo
06-24-2009, 10:44 AM
I've been there , as many of us have. I wanted to go to bed fat and wake up thin. that will never happen. I started many times and didn't follow through. Then one day I just decided to DO IT ! I can't say that I received some miraculous insight. I was just tired of it all. I concentrated on losing ten pounds at a time, it was too overwhelming to think of all I needed to lose. Find a plan that you will follow, it may take some experimenting to find what works for you, that's OK. I tried a lot of different diets before I found what worked best for me.

TJFitnessDiva
06-24-2009, 10:49 AM
These ladies have already given you some wonderful advice :)

Take a step back, breathe, and start charting your course of action. We are all here for you and as you can see from a lot of women here that it is possible!

:hug:

Smiling_Sara
06-24-2009, 11:05 AM
Welcome back. You're on the right site for support. As others have said, think of the pounds in 5 lb increments, it won't seem like such a big jump then. I wish it were easy, but losing weight is hard. But it's also worth it. Just remember, you CAN do this!

rochemist
06-24-2009, 11:18 AM
These ladies have already given you some wonderful advice :)

Take a step back, breathe, and start charting your course of action. We are all here for you and as you can see from a lot of women here that it is possible!

:hug:

What she said ;)

Plenty of inspiration here in the one day at a time sense (and sometimes the one moment at a time). We believe in ourselves and we believe in you :carrot:

mystical
06-24-2009, 11:36 AM
Hello all, I am in the same boat. I am approaching my 40th birthday and I look at myself and just don't know who I am anymore. I haven't looked in a mirror in years because I do not like what I see. I am now 100 lbs more than I should be and I just do not know where to start I would love it if I could find someone that could help me stay motivated and help with any advise. I ran accross this board late last night when I couldn't sleep and I thought well just maybe I might be ablet to find someone that has been through what I am going through and could help out or just have someone to talk to and be accountable to on a daily basis. Any help any of you guys could offer would be a great blessing. :)

mypunkrockromance
06-24-2009, 11:58 AM
Mystical maybe you and Reundefined can be weight loss buddies. Sign up for an AIM screen name if you don't have one, support each other, talk each other through cravings and slipups etc.

DCHound
06-24-2009, 12:00 PM
10 months ago I was 39 years old and 370 lbs. The smallest I had been as an adult was in 2003, 180s, size 14/16. Bad divorce, I gained 100 lbs in six months late 2003, then crept up another 50+ over the next 5 years.

I was well on my way to 400, and housebound. I was a size 32; specifically, too fat to shop at Lane Bryant. With a basement full of expensive designer clothes (and the credit card debt to prove it) in 14s and 16s I had hidden away because I hated to look at them.

I was depressed, sick, worn out, miserable, unhappy, hated myself, hated how I looked, hated how I felt.

I avoided social situations unless they were with women who looked/acted like me. I went straight to work and straight home. I would get so tired and out of breath on the 3-block walk from the metro to my office I’d have to rest for 10 minutes half-way (this was the weight plus being a heavy smoker).

I had two pair of stretchy “dress” pants and about four shirts appropriate to wear to work. I didn’t wear a winter coat at all Winter 2007 because the only one I had didn’t come anywhere close to meeting in front, and I was embarrassed to put it on. And wouldn’t buy on that fit. I wore ratty tennis shoes or slides, ratty sweat pants and ratty t shirts when I wasn’t at work. I didn’t get a hair cut from 2004 until 2008, almost four years, and wore my hair back in a pony tail every single day (by the time I got it cut in November 2008 I could almost sit on it). I only took a bath every other day, and I was so fat I was uncomfortable taking showers—just tub baths.

Is that enough? I can go on and on and on.

Age doesn’t matter. Highest weight doesn’t matter. Heck motivation doesn’t even matter. All you need is COMMITMENT to change your life and PRETENDING that you are going to succeed.

Don’t wait to get motivated. Just do it.
Don’t expect everything to be all kittens and roses. Just pretend you are going to succeed. One day you’ll look around and realize you aren’t pretending anymore…you really ARE succeeding.

I gained all that weight as a way to deal with the divorce, because I refused to deal with it in an emotionally healthy way. I continued gaining weight (slowly) because I refused to acknowledge that I was depressed and had a problem. I finally, slowly, worked through the emotional baggage…and slowly began to realize what I was doing to myself. I got a big push last August when my BFF asked me to be her Maid of Honor…and I refused to do it in a size 32.

Atkins had worked for me before, so I committed to it, and 3 months later (11/08) I walked down the aisle in a size 24. Now I’m comfortably in an 18 and some 16s are fitting. By the end of the year I intend to be a size 12.

Pretend you can do it. You can. You don’t need anything special. Just start. Commit. If you screw up, forget about it and move on ahead. This is not a DIET this is your LIFE. Pretend to love yourself and value yourself enough to do this. And soon you won’t be pretending.

RunUndefined, you are a wonderful, beautiful, special woman. There is no one else on earth just like you—did you know that? I can see it even if you can’t. Just do it You deserve it.

DCHound
06-24-2009, 12:04 PM
Goes for you too Mystical. Just like RunUndefined. Goes for all you lurkers reading this thread who haven't joined 3FC yet.

Pita09
06-24-2009, 12:05 PM
Hi and welcome :smug:

There is so much good advice for you here on this thread and on this entire site. I can't add much that hasn't been said, but that if you open your heart and mind to the fact that you can lose weight, then you have made a huge step towards reaching your goal.

Robin is, of course, right that it all comes down to a matter of deciding that you want health and fitness more than you want anything else in this world. Deciding is hard and commitment is hard, but when I look at people like Robin, I know that is what it will take for me to finally get out of this fat body and into the one I'm meant to have.

It takes making a full time commitment to yourself. I just restarted my life, again, at 43 and needing to loose at least 100lbs. Yes, it's a lot of weight and it does freak me out. But, I'm trying to force myself to concentrate on losing five pounds at a time. This last week was my first real week at staying on plan and I lost 3.5 lbs. That is great and so close to my 5 lb goal.

You have to set yourself up for success. Stay active with this board, start journaling (Blogging), keep a food journal and track every calorie, exercise faithfully, joining a support group if you can (I go to TOPS), and set your kitchen up for success. It's time consuming, but for me I have to make losing weight an obsession or I will slip back to my old ways and that is unacceptable.

Don't ever give up!! :hug:

Numina
06-24-2009, 12:07 PM
First off, RunUndefined ---- :welcome3:

You have come to the right place to get a ton of support and mega-tons of great advice and information. It can really make a huge difference to have a circle of friends that know exactly what you are going through and how hard it all is. There is a lot to the 3FC site --- recipes and diet information and shopping tips; make sure to go to the home page and take a look around.

Now, let's talk a minute about how you are feeling : You have just faced an unpleasant and inescapable truth --- your weight is keeping you from the life you want to live. Boy, been then and done that! (Or maybe AM there and AM STILL doing that is more accurate :) ) But here is the really cool part of what you just faced: you have the magical power to change it all! And you don't need a magic potion or a bunch of money or a special talent --- you just need your brilliant brain and that extra-ordinary, hard-working, miraculous body!

Have you ever stepped into a new job or started a new school year or moved to a new place and there was that fluttery, half-excited half-terrified feeling inside, like a 10 seconds old butterfly just about to emerge for its first flight? Well, you are right there again, with an amazing array of potential and possibilities before you.

Hard work? Oh, yeah -- there is going to be a lot; but there is a lot of hard work involved in coming up to speed on a new job or learning a new skill and you have been able to handle those things, right? Changes? Well, yes indeed, changes must be made for this to work --- but they are changes that YOU control in pursuit of a goal that YOU have defined at a pace that YOU feel comfortable with; you are LARGE AND IN CHARGE!

So, take a deep, cleansing breath and realize that while this is indeed a big adventure (pun intended), it is still an adventure well within your ability to handle! The first thing you need on a big adventure is a clear idea of where you are (maybe using a program like the daily plate to count the calories you eat in a normal day?) and a clear idea of where you want to be (maybe a journal entry that talks about all the things you want to do or a collage of the clothes you want to wear or just a list of all the POSITIVE reasons to change your eating habits). Then you need to take some time to plot a course on how to get from A to B --- don't worry if you aren't sure and don't imagine that your course has to be "perfect"! Your path will change many times as you learn more and as you can do more, and hey! aren't some of the best adventures the ones that come from those interesting side trips?

There are days when I think about all this change in terms in what I am giving up or what I HAVE to do; there are days when I think about it in terms of what cool new foods I can learn to cook or what interesting new activities I can try. Guess which days are the ones that work the best?

Welcome to the 100+ Fat-Assassination Team, RunUndefined !

rockinrobin
06-24-2009, 12:14 PM
Age doesn’t matter. Highest weight doesn’t matter. Heck motivation doesn’t even matter. All you need is COMMITMENT to change your life and PRETENDING that you are going to succeed.

Don’t wait to get motivated. Just do it.
Don’t expect everything to be all kittens and roses. Just pretend you are going to succeed. One day you’ll look around and realize you aren’t pretending anymore…you really ARE succeeding

I love this. A lot. A real, real lot.

CLCSC145
06-24-2009, 12:45 PM
Welcome! :hug: You can do this!

Sandi
06-24-2009, 01:06 PM
You have already been given TONS of great advice, I just wanted to add a WELCOME BACK!!

I look forward to reading about all your success!

Institches21
06-24-2009, 01:07 PM
Thank You, from one of the many of "Those" Lurkers", to this site. I just want to Thank You all.

mystical
06-24-2009, 01:18 PM
Thank you all for the welcome. I have hired a personal trainer and she comes to my home 2 times a month with a work out plan and a nutritional plan for me to follow. I get a menu and snack ideas from her. For me I know I have to have a menu to follow strictly so I won't eat off plan at least for now that is what is going to work for me. She has also made me a exercise routine for the week and she will check in every other week with me. She is going to coming on Tuesday and take all my measurements and we will do that every 6-8 weeks I believe she told me. I would love to be a part of your group I will be here everyday thanks in advance for the support and freindly advise.

Runundefined
06-24-2009, 01:36 PM
Wow, just wow.

I started writing responses several times and each time I would just start crying to the point I could not see to continue and I stopped. So many things each of you said rang true for me.

I think seeing that many of you are in a similar place as me certainly has helped me in some way. I was beginning to feel isolated. I really needed to hear that and to post here. Thank you.

Also seeing so many of you that just finally did this did help to shake me out of my funk a bit.

I had to really think on why I am here (gained so much of my weight back) again. I think I am such an all or nothing person and that is contributing to my lose/gain cycle.

I am very strict to the point of obsession when I am eating “right” so much that it leads to feelings of deprivation and then I go “off plan” and go crazy with food.

I have got to somehow find a balance. I think knowing that somehow has helped me also.

I am also in physical pain (back issues from the weight gain) and that really brings it home.

Thank you to each and every one of you that took the time to write the heartfelt posts. I am having a better afternoon.

kiramira
06-24-2009, 02:05 PM
Hi there!
18 months ago, I weighed 244 lbs at 5'7". Very similar to your stats, relatively speaking height/weight. I had 52 inch hips. 52 INCHES!!! I almost threw up when I saw that. A 50 inch bust! Not that DH complained, but STILL. A 43 inch waist! And at my Pap smear that year the nurse practitioner couldn't use her instruments correctly because of my weight, and told me that she didn't have the skill to do the pap because the instruments were "too hard to place, given your size"...:o
I nearly died. I couldn't walk 2 blocks without having to rest. So I know what you are feeling and I know the absolute panic and desperation you are expressing. I've been there.

What I did was STOP, BREATHE, and THINK. And this is what I came up with:

1. Sure, I'm fat. I haven't killed anyone. I haven't stolen any money. In the grand scheme of things,this isn't the worst thing in the world. I'm a good person. I've just made crappy choices. I'm NOT A BAD PERSON. I just haven't done the right thing by my body. And I have to stop hating myself and saying those things to myself that I would never, EVER say to anyone else in my situation. I stopped the self-loathing.

2. Fat is temporary. Thank GOD I can fix this. If I was a mean person, or had an ugly personality, or had some horrible disease, I would be up the creek, control-wise. But I can fix this. It will take time, and be irritating, and frustrating, and not on any fixed timeline, but I CAN fix this. How freeing -- to know that this was completely in my control. I didn't have to depend on doctors or the medical system to "fix" this. I could do this myself.

3. What I've done in the past hasn't worked with respect to taking and keeping the weight off. So it is time for me to step outside of my self-imposed restrictions and definitions of what I CAN do and try to do something that I haven't done before. After all, if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got!!! So I decided to change my lifestyle. BIG radical change! Instead of focusing on x pounds in y weeks, I had to focus on what I was doing diet-wise and exercise-wise and just be on plan for that. The pounds would take care of themselves IF I was consistent.

Once I came to these conclusions, I had to actually DO something. So I researched a plan that worked well for my LIFESTYLE. It isn't the fastest plan in the world, but it is one that I can make work for me, pretty much forever. There are lots of plans out there. Structure makes things simple because it takes alot of the "thinking" out of the equation -- just stick with the plan and things will work. For some, Atkins works. South Beach for others. Calorie Counting is effective for alot of people. I chose Weight Watchers because it fits for me. The BEST plan out there is the one that works for YOU. You will find your own path on this one.

Once I got more comfortable with my body and really firm in the eating plan, I added exercise to the mix. I wasn't happy with my fitness level, so added activity to make me fit and strong.

ALL of this is to say that if you seriously want to change, you need to seriously change and to change seriously! Put the guilt and loathing aside. Find a plan that you can live with. And stick to it one day at a time. Be PATIENT (probably the hardest part!), and I can guarantee you that 4 months from now, you'll never have regretted this.

You can find your path!!! We believe in you!!! And you CAN do this!!!

:hug:

Kira

Tracy
06-24-2009, 02:11 PM
:welcome3: It can be done!I didn't read all the posts,but I'm sure you were told about all the great success stories here!:yay:You find out what works for you. A few weeks ago, I stopped giving myself time limits on losing in a
certain amount of time. I take a day at a time.Now, I am doing great!
Be Persistant!

Runundefined
06-24-2009, 02:12 PM
Hi there!
18 months ago, I weighed 244 lbs at 5'7". Very similar to your stats, relatively speaking height/weight. I had 52 inch hips. 52 INCHES!!! I almost threw up when I saw that. A 50 inch bust! Not that DH complained, but STILL. A 43 inch waist! And at my Pap smear that year the nurse practitioner couldn't use her instruments correctly because of my weight, and told me that she didn't have the skill to do the pap because the instruments were "too hard to place, given your size"...:o
I nearly died. I couldn't walk 2 blocks without having to rest. So I know what you are feeling and I know the absolute panic and desperation you are expressing. I've been there.

What I did was STOP, BREATHE, and THINK. And this is what I came up with:

1. Sure, I'm fat. I haven't killed anyone. I haven't stolen any money. In the grand scheme of things,this isn't the worst thing in the world. I'm a good person. I've just made crappy choices. I'm NOT A BAD PERSON. I just haven't done the right thing by my body. And I have to stop hating myself and saying those things to myself that I would never, EVER say to anyone else in my situation. I stopped the self-loathing.

2. Fat is temporary. Thank GOD I can fix this. If I was a mean person, or had an ugly personality, or had some horrible disease, I would be up the creek, control-wise. But I can fix this. It will take time, and be irritating, and frustrating, and not on any fixed timeline, but I CAN fix this. How freeing -- to know that this was completely in my control. I didn't have to depend on doctors or the medical system to "fix" this. I could do this myself.

3. What I've done in the past hasn't worked with respect to taking and keeping the weight off. So it is time for me to step outside of my self-imposed restrictions and definitions of what I CAN do and try to do something that I haven't done before. After all, if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got!!! So I decided to change my lifestyle. BIG radical change! Instead of focusing on x pounds in y weeks, I had to focus on what I was doing diet-wise and exercise-wise and just be on plan for that. The pounds would take care of themselves IF I was consistent.

Once I came to these conclusions, I had to actually DO something. So I researched a plan that worked well for my LIFESTYLE. It isn't the fastest plan in the world, but it is one that I can make work for me, pretty much forever. There are lots of plans out there. Structure makes things simple because it takes allot of the "thinking" out of the equation -- just stick with the plan and things will work. For some, Atkins works. South Beach for others. Calorie Counting is effective for alot of people. I chose Weight Watchers because it fits for me. The BEST plan out there is the one that works for YOU. You will find your own path on this one.

Once I got more comfortable with my body and really firm in the eating plan, I added exercise to the mix. I wasn't happy with my fitness level, so added activity to make me fit and strong.

ALL of this is to say that if you seriously want to change, you need to seriously change and to change seriously! Put the guilt and loathing aside. Find a plan that you can live with. And stick to it one day at a time. Be PATIENT (probably the hardest part!), and I can guarantee you that 4 months from now, you'll never have regretted this.

You can find your path!!! We believe in you!!! And you CAN do this!!!

:hug:

Kira

Ya... 50" hips right here as well... and the same for the "girls"..
I totally get what you went thru at the Dr. One of my issues is the healthcare we get (or should I say don't get) when we are obese. It's almost criminal.

Thank you for your post. It does help to think about it as only fat. Lord knows I am thankful for my relative health. It could be SO much worse and I need to be reminded of that.

WW is a good program. My sis has done very well on it.
For me, for right now I need EASY. So counting calories is it although I just left the WW site and have been considering the at home version for on down the road.

Thank you!

mystical
06-24-2009, 02:16 PM
Runundefined,
I know exactly what you are going through. I was on the Jenny Craig program and lost around 60 lbs I have put most of that back on since I have moved. About a year ago I moved from Arkansas to Ontario, Canada and my husband has his own business but I had worked in a corporate office for the past 10 years and right now I just do the books for our company. Don't get me wrong I love the exta time with my family but I seem to eat for every reason possible. I am only 5' tall so as you can imagine weight really shows fast. I like you have back pains because of my weight somehow I have got to find a life change for me. I have got to lose the weight it has effected every part of my life. I don't go shopping anymore even since it hurts my back to much to walk to far. I am trying to do some cardio 2 times a day but I seem to always have an excuse why I can't. I need the help, support and motivation as well. Maybe we can do this thing together.

Jennelle
06-24-2009, 02:48 PM
And at my Pap smear that year the nurse practitioner couldn't use her instruments correctly because of my weight, and told me that she didn't have the skill to do the pap because the instruments were "too hard to place, given your size"...:o

I'm so sorry...I had to giggle in solidarity! When I went for my Pap in December, I was about 35 lbs. heavier and my doc was having a tough time and finally said, "I'm gonna need a bigger speculum." What woman wants to hear THAT?! :lol:

Runundefined
06-24-2009, 03:07 PM
Runundefined,
I know exactly what you are going through. I was on the Jenny Craig program and lost around 60 lbs I have put most of that back on since I have moved. About a year ago I moved from Arkansas to Ontario, Canada and my husband has his own business but I had worked in a corporate office for the past 10 years and right now I just do the books for our company. Don't get me wrong I love the exta time with my family but I seem to eat for every reason possible. I am only 5' tall so as you can imagine weight really shows fast. I like you have back pains because of my weight somehow I have got to find a life change for me. I have got to lose the weight it has effected every part of my life. I don't go shopping anymore even since it hurts my back to much to walk to far. I am trying to do some cardio 2 times a day but I seem to always have an excuse why I can't. I need the help, support and motivation as well. Maybe we can do this thing together.

Hi there!

Yes I would love to do this together.
So what plan are you using right now? I am counting calories using Fitday and will be back to walking hopefully early next week. I have to give myself a few days off, my back is truly acting up. I actually just ordered an inversion table. It's that bad.

I am originally from AR. I was born in Conway.
What a move that must be but WOW Ontario has GOT to be amazing and just stunning!!!

We recently saw a "in the round" movie about Canada and it had a great part on Ontario, I instantly wanted to go. Of course allot of the reason had to do with all the amazing restaurants there.. not good ha?

Well you are ALREADY ahead of me at 225#!
Have a good night.

Cary~

mystical
06-24-2009, 03:13 PM
Wow it's a small world. I am basically just counting calories. I am just now starting to write everything down so I can see where I need the most work. I have a treadmill and I am just getting over a virus so I am hoping to get back on my schedule cardio 6 days a week and 2 days a week I do a full body workout. I have one full day where I do nothing or at least that is in my plans I just have to stick to the plan.

Runundefined
06-24-2009, 03:18 PM
Sounds like a pretty good plan to me.. do you use Fitday.com ? It really keeps me on track. I LOVE that I can actually now go back a couple of years and see WHAT I was eating when I was losing well now and then.

Sorry to hear you had the yuck. Be sure to give yourself time to recover. Sound like you have a serious work out schedule!

mystical
06-24-2009, 03:23 PM
I use to belong to a gym and one of the trainers there has become my friend and I have hired her to come to my home and she is helping me with a workout schedule and she has put together a weekly menu for me to get started with so I am not totally lost in all this. She is going to try and get me a few different weekly menus so I don't get bored and she has also given me a list of healthy snacks for variety

Runundefined
06-24-2009, 03:39 PM
I use to belong to a gym and one of the trainers there has become my friend and I have hired her to come to my home and she is helping me with a workout schedule and she has put together a weekly menu for me to get started with so I am not totally lost in all this. She is going to try and get me a few different weekly menus so I don't get bored and she has also given me a list of healthy snacks for variety

This is fantastic!
I would love to know your snacks when you get going.
I try to eat 4-6 small meals a day and can always use more snack ideas.

mystical
06-24-2009, 03:44 PM
Same here I eat small meals or as the list goes 3 meals and two snacks LOL
I try to eat every 3 hours no less than 2 hours and no more than 4 hours and I have my last snack at least one hour before bedtime. If you would like a copy of my plans just pm and let me know your email address.

dragonwoman64
06-24-2009, 11:11 PM
glad to see that it sounds like things have calmed down for you, Cary.

I'm 45 too.

several really inspirational posts here. It helps me to come here and read, eye on the prize.

finni
06-25-2009, 04:59 AM
Hi, just read your post. It sure is scary when you see how much work is ahead, but it is just one meal at a time. One meal away from being back on track.
I do relate to what you shared though. I have been up and down and back again over the past 10 years, and really want to get the weight off and keep it off!

some words from New Zealand's native tongue, Maori, "Kia Kaha!!"
It means Stand strong and courageous.

I hope maybe knowing that someone on the opposite side of the world is thinking of you today, and sending you some small encouragement on this journey we share, will lift your spirits.

Warm regards

Sandie

Trazey34
06-25-2009, 08:18 AM
I had to write before i dash out the door - please don't give up! i know it's like looking into the abyss when you think of the enormity of the entire task ahead of you, but like so many have said, focus on 5 lbs.. If that's overwhelming, make it 2 lbs, it doesn't matter -- lose 1/2 a pound and celebrate that it's never coming back!!! Make some changes you can live with (i bet you not to go whole-hog and dump everything in one go, it's really scary and might not be successful) and sustain them for a week or more, and then move on the next change. YOU CAN DO IT!!

ChocLabLover
06-25-2009, 09:04 AM
:welcome3: to the forum!

You have received some fantastic advice from all the ladies here. The only thing I can add is this:

1) You need to find a plan that works for YOU. I have said this before, ALL plans work, but you need to find something that you can stick with. This is not a diet, this needs to be a lifestyle change

2) You can do this. You need to weigh (pardon the pun) the benefits. Do you want the short term high of eating the food that will lead to weight gain or the long term benefits of eating healthy and being at the weight you want to be at?

This is a great place for support and inspiration! All the best!