[sakurasky]

I'm new, I've been looking for a good forum to join.
My 25th birthday is coming up in about a month and I'm having a full-blown quarter life crisis.

I've been overweight my whole life (unless you count Kindergarten and under.. ah, those were the days! ).

The first time I realized I was fat was when I was about 7 and visiting my mom's family (who's first language is Spanish) and overhearing my uncle say my name and "gordita" in the same sentence. I asked my mom what it meant and she said "pretty". Then my older brother happily told me what it really meant.

Anyway, the whole low self-esteem/comfort eating cycle just continued on for the next 18 years, and here I am now at 314 lbs at 5'6". I rarely ever broke down and cried though, which I accomplished mainly through denial. I was almost comfortable with myself, as long as I led a sedentary lifestyle, outright refused to look at any pictures of myself, and avoided buying new clothes for long stretches of time.

However, that breakdown did finally come a couple weeks ago after I bought a little swingset for my three-year old son. He kept asking "Swing with me mommy!" and I had to finally explain to him mommy's too big to swing, and that I would break it if I tried.

I didn't cry, especially not in front of my son, but I did sit in my room and stared at nothing for a long long time, until I was able to wrap my head around what I've become and how it's costing me from enjoying my son's childhood, and perhaps in the future, his life.

Yeah, enough of this. No more hiding my demons in the closet. No excuses. I will pour my soul into working my *** off (literally) until I can fit in that damn swing!

[elle w 19]

Thanks for sharing...I'm so happy that you got to that point where you're ready to turn it around! I hope you find some good tips here, some support, and some inspiration.

Good luck and keep at it!

[srmb60]

Welcome!

Please make yourself at home on the boards. If there's anything we can help you find, just ask. We're glad you're here.

[iamren]

Hi,

I have just joined the forum as well. My life has been pretty similar. I've been overweight all my life and turn 25 this year. I don't think their are any thin pictures of me past 6 or 7 years old.

I've put off getting married and having kids because I've been waiting for the day I'm thin. I've actually put off life in general.

Anyways, I'm here for support if/when you need it.

Good luck & keep us all posted on your progress. It's especially inspiration when someone is in a similar situation.

[sakurasky]

Thank you all for your support!
I'm kind of scared because I've never been so determined, so it would be heartbreaking to see myself fail.

I think the hardest part about this will be remaining aware of what I eat. I know that sounds so simple, but I eat like an automaton, I'm barely even conscious of what I'm doing.

I'm trying to figure out how to shut the autopilot OFF!

[elle w 19]

sakurasky--

I totally feel you and your fear of "failing" despite your new determination. Yes, there will be times when you don't succeed (not fail!) as much as you succeeded during previous days or weeks, but when I'm feeling like a day of eating or working out was a failure, I think about how much more active, conscientious, and healthier I am now than I was before when I was eating without regard to calories, quality, or quantity.

There is one thing that I try to remember when I'm feeling afraid that I'm going to do all this hard work and then "fail." On this last season of The Biggest Loser, there was this moment where a contestant said, I'm just afraid that I'm going to do all this hard work and not be the Biggest Loser. And the trainer looked right in the contestant's eyes and said, Well what if you do all this hard work and you ARE the Biggest Loser? That really resonated with me, but I understand it might not be as powerful for others. I'm always so afraid to give 100% to something so I often use that as an excuse to NOT GIVE 100% of myself. But, I need to think, what if I give 100% of myself and get amazing results? That thought is often more powerful for me than the fear.

Okay, I feel like I'm rambling now, so I'll stop!

[sakurasky]

Well, I've been doing good so far. I think just worrying about it has made me paranoid, so I literally will not go into the kitchen unless I have a pen and post-it note in hand to write down what I eat.

I've been almost obsessive. But I guess that's to be expected when you first start out.

I think my fear is starting to wane. I believe I can do this. After all, the harder you work, the harder it is to surrender! In fact, one of my "health scrapbook" pages has that quote, which is on my blog.

[CountingDown]

and

Glad you found us! You CAN do this! Really! AND - it IS worth it! You have a wonderful reason to become fit and healthy. Like you, my family was my motivation. I was tired of missing out on family fun because of my weight.

Hang around here - I found 3FC to be very, very helpful on my journey!

[susiemartin]

Sakurasky -
Nice to meet you.
The only way you could ever "fail" is by not trying.
On your weight loss journey you will have hard times, and you will fall down.
But when you fall down - pick yourself up.
You can absolutely do it
Good luck to you

[midwife]

Welcome to 3FC! Surf around and settle in! We have subforums based on age, eating plan, exercise and more. I'm glad you're here!

You CAN do this!!! Check out the 20 something threads and the 300 Club for lots of good support.

[sakurasky]

Thanks guys! I think I'm getting the hang of it. I weighed in on Monday the 22nd at 312, weighed myself today and I'm 307!

I wonder how long the fast weight lost will last. I know it'll probably start to slow down later on. Which is ok, it's just nice to see a lot of progress to reward my new effort.

[valpal23]

I turned 25 last week and have a very similar story

[sakurasky]

Thanks! And congrats on your 100+ weight loss! WOW! How do you stay motivated?