Weight Loss Support - Dont u feel sometimes that you are behind?




suzan
06-14-2009, 06:15 AM
It just hit me that everyone is losing weight and I am here. I know I am not actually following a diet, nor weighting myself because I dont freaking own a scale and barely have time to go to a pharmacy and weight myself. It is just that after I went thru few before-after pics... it hit me that I am so behind!

I know I am losing weight, but I am just not totally honest and committed to it! If I were more serious about it, I would have been losing weight, just like said.

I should have lost more weight by now, I just feel bad. :(


JayEll
06-14-2009, 06:52 AM
How long have you been looking to lose weight? If I go by your profile and ticker, you joined 3FC in May and now you've lost 4.4 pounds--is that correct? If so, you're not behind at all. :cheer2:

Are you tracking what you eat in some way?

Jay

suzan
06-14-2009, 07:31 AM
How long have you been looking to lose weight? If I go by your profile and ticker, you joined 3FC in May and now you've lost 4.4 pounds--is that correct? If so, you're not behind at all. :cheer2:

Are you tracking what you eat in some way?

Jay

Tracking? no
Dieting since joining 3FC? No

I have been eating healthier for a while now, and I think since I havent stick to what I SHOULD, I am not losing what I should, if this makes sense.

I should just get to be more committed and loyal to losing weight. :cool: and I think I should do what you just have asked me! I need to track what I eat. Why havent I done it? I always say I will, but just forget!


seagirl
06-14-2009, 07:51 AM
I always think of it like having a financial plan. Imagine if you didn't know how much money you made, didn't know what you were spending, weren't sure what bills you had to pay and and they were due - but you wanted to be more financially secure. Well, you'd have to make some changes to move in that direction.

Same with weight loss. You have to know how much you weigh, how many calories you can bring in without getting into calorie debt due to low output.

Sounds like you are in the pre-contemplation or contemplation phase of change. Google those words if the link below doesn't show up, I'm not sure if I can post links yet.
www .addictionalternatives. com/philosophy/stagemodel.htm

PinkyPie
06-14-2009, 08:00 AM
So, Suzan... I think you actually answered your own question or statement... Of course you are far behind if you aren't doing anything what you think you should be doing. If you were in a race, and the start gun went off and everyone took off but you, you would be eventually pretty far behind right?

What's stopping you? You know what you "should" do, why not just do it? Do it for one day. Then do it the next day. And the next. Until it's a week, two weeks, a month... Just start Suzan, at least then you'll be IN the race and not standing around watching others run far away from you.

rockinrobin
06-14-2009, 09:18 AM
I have been eating healthier for a while now, and I think since I havent stick to what I SHOULD, I am not losing what I should, if this makes sense.

Well yes, this makes perfect sense. Right there in that sentence clears up the "reason" as to why you are lagging behind.

If you were in a race, and the start gun went off and everyone took off but you, you would be eventually pretty far behind right?

Just start Suzan, at least then you'll be IN the race and not standing around watching others run far away from you.

I like that analogy. Yes. Yes! "You gotta be in it to win it." "Losing weight is not a spectator sport". It won't fall off miraculously. Yup, we've got to actively par take. No sitting on the sidelines.

So yes indeed-y. DECIDE this is what you want to do and map out a way to get it done. TAKE some action. MAKE a plan. You can do this. You absolutely without a doubt can do this! :cheer:

srmb60
06-14-2009, 09:25 AM
I very seldom say this at 3FC but ... Suzan ... you are just plain wrong.

There are people here who have not lost anything, some who've lost a little, some who've lost a lot and some who've gained. And, PTL, there's lots of each.

There is no "shoulda by now". The only thing your history is good for is retrospective learning. Today can be entirely different than any day in your past because of all the things you've learned. Today, tomorrow ....

Just make today somewhat better than yesterday.

bacilli
06-14-2009, 09:33 AM
I don't compare myself to what others are doing. What I'm doing works for me, and as long as I'm happy with my own loss, it doesn't matter if it takes me longer than someone else.

I tend to lose weight slowly, always have. It took me 2 years to lose 100lbs the last time, and I kept it off for years. I gained it back over a year, after a major surgery that left me immobilized for a year. I know that once I lose it again, I'll have no issues maintaining because of my eating and exercise habits. So if it takes me a year or two to get back to where I want to be, I'm very much ok with that.

Tracy
06-14-2009, 02:02 PM
I defiently should have lost more,and am behind. But it is my own fault!It is time for me to:sp:

Jo Kittibuck
06-14-2009, 02:12 PM
You're by no means behind. Most people who are overweight NEVER lose anything. Just being here puts you ahead of the curve.

But I know what you mean. I stalled out for the entire month of May, and boy was it frustrating. I'm losing towards a festival in September, when I want to wear a costume, and not seeing any progress while the clock ticked down was driving me batty. But that's the wrong way to think about it. The important thing is that you've lost, not how much or how fast. Celebrate every pound!

"Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, but in the end, it's only with yourself." - Everyone's Free to Wear Sunscreen

Lizzyg
06-14-2009, 02:19 PM
Stop comparing yourself to others!

I'm taking this WL slow this time. All the times in the past I'd lose it quicklyish, and then just burn out and stop all together, and then gain it all back.

Its taken me almost 3 years to just lose over 50 lbs. Yes its going slowly, and yes it would go more quickly if I was more hard core, and never cheated and worked out more - but I know me. And if I do that, I get burned out and quit. And I dont want to quit this time, and I also dont want to be on a diet the rest of my life.

But thats just me. Do what works for you, and dont worry about others!!

kaplods
06-14-2009, 03:18 PM
I was complaining to my doctor a while back that I wasn't nearly where I wanted to be - that I was losing "too slowly."

He reminded me that just being in the race, put me at the head of the pack, not at the trailing end. Most folks are stuck at the starting block (or don't even get that far).

I am losing slower than I ever would have accepted in the past. In the past, I would have gotten discouraged at the slow rate of loss and decided that it was hopeless anyway.... I would have lossed, regained, and lost and regained again several times by now.

You can beat yourself up for being "behind," if you want to, but in my experience those feelings lead to defeat not success. If you look at only the step in front of you, and not where everyone else seems to be in relation to you, you have a better chance of getting to your own finish line.

I find that I can't compare myself to others - and I can't even compare myself to younger versions of myself. I am who I am, and I've done what I've done. I can only choose to change the present.

As a psych student, I learned that rewards works better than punishment, whether you're dealing with rats or human beings, so I try to remember that when I deal with myself. Focusing on my successes, no matter how small, tends to stoke my enthusiasm for making more. When I focus on my failures, I feel helpless and hopeless and start thinking "what's the use."

It's not always an easy mental shift, but I think it's important. Worry about what you haven't accomplished in your life, will only prevent you from accomplishing more.

Windchime
06-14-2009, 03:29 PM
All these chicks are right--comparing yourself to others makes success a lot more difficult. Now I am NOT saying that you shouldn't use the success of others as inspiration--that is helpful, or at least it is to me. Reading the Goals and Mini-Goals sections has been immensely helpful in shoring me up when my committment level was low or when I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere.

But I got in trouble a few months ago with envy. I was looking at the success of people like cfmama, who is losing at a fast and steady rate and I was jealous. But then I really stopped and thought about it and admitted that she is WAY more dedicated and faithful to her healthy eating plan than I am. So of course she will lose faster! I even thought (briefly, LOL) about buckling down and being a lot more strict with myself. I chose not to do that, because I know from the past that approach doesn't work well for me. It works great for cfmama and many others, but for me, I need a lot of flexibility and forgiveness in my plan. So I chose to accept that and accept the slower rate of loss that comes with it.

The other thing I had to stop doing was placing time limits on my goals. That almost knocked me out of the game before I got started. I joined a St. Patrick's Day challenge and immediately fell behind. People were posting losses of 3-4 pounds a week when I could barely eke out 1 pound if I was lucky. I dropped out because I could see that I would feel like a failure if I didn't lose "X" pounds by a certain date. So now my goal is 65-70 pounds. No end date. I'm on track right now for it to be a little over a year; that year is going to go by whether or not I lose all the weight. If I only lose 50, will I be a failure? No! I'll still be a success; I'll be 50 pounds lighter!

So don't be hard on yourself. Don't compare yourself. Are there things you can learn from others that will help you? Absolutely. But we are all different, with different bodies, different metabolisms, different lives, different everything. So just do the best YOU can do while still moving forward. You can do this!

Alana in Canada
06-14-2009, 03:54 PM
One thing I would suggest is making a pro and con list for weight loss. That might help you move into more consistent action.
Good luck. Let us know how it goes!

Lori Bell
06-14-2009, 03:55 PM
I think for *some* people the need to get the weight off quickly really depends on where they start. I know that for me, I was so morbidly obese and so uncomfortable and feeling near death that I had to take action quickly to save my life. I could barely breath, walk, or sleep. I sweat in the middle of a Nebraska winter and would chafe and rub burns in my skin in the heat of the summer. One morning I woke up and realized that I couldn't take it a minute longer. I really feel I hit ROCK BOTTOM. I was not motivated to lose until I hit ROCK BOTTOM. I think some peoples rock bottoms take longer to find. Maybe if you are not ready to work at it and take the excess weight off, you just haven't gotten to the point of true misery yet. I hope you don't have to get to the point I did to find it...I really sucked.

ringmaster
06-14-2009, 04:22 PM
I do... I see some women here started out with more weight to lose than me and now weigh even less than my own goal weight!

Sophia Elise
06-14-2009, 07:38 PM
Well sometimes you can't help but feel this way. On my part, whenever I feel down, I just go to the mall, watch movies or do something that will revive my motivation.

p7eggyc
06-14-2009, 11:23 PM
I think your siggy banner says it all. This is a lifestyle change and you have to take your time to figure out what lifestyle changes you can and cannot live with. I really believe that you can take all of this too 'seriously' and set yourself up to do things in the interest of weight loss that you will not be able to sustain over the long haul. I came around to weight loss very, very slowly but once I got it going, new habits started sticking a lot more easily because I had made lots of small changes leading up to it. I can now say I really fell off the wagon for a few months and I am finding the habits are coming back fairly quickly so it was sort of like riding a bike.

Hope that helps a bit. Every day that you do something a little better, a little healthier is a good day in my book. Some days you'd be able to do a whole lot better and those days will start to string together and the momentum will come and you will have that new lifestyle.

Peg

ETA: The good thing is that you are sort of chafing at things so it is probably a good time to make some strides forward but I wouldn't focus on how much better it might have been if you'd done it sooner. Just get rollin'

suzan
06-15-2009, 05:46 AM
So, Suzan... I think you actually answered your own question or statement... Of course you are far behind if you aren't doing anything what you think you should be doing. If you were in a race, and the start gun went off and everyone took off but you, you would be eventually pretty far behind right?

What's stopping you? You know what you "should" do, why not just do it? Do it for one day. Then do it the next day. And the next. Until it's a week, two weeks, a month... Just start Suzan, at least then you'll be IN the race and not standing around watching others run far away from you.

Oh my Goodness, I need people to face me and talk to me like that. I dont know what is stopping me :cry: I know I can do it because I have done it before, it is just that I feel always tired and stressed from my life. I just need motivation from someone around me. I feel lonely and unmotivated most of the time.

suzan
06-15-2009, 05:47 AM
I very seldom say this at 3FC but ... Suzan ... you are just plain wrong.

There are people here who have not lost anything, some who've lost a little, some who've lost a lot and some who've gained. And, PTL, there's lots of each.

There is no "shoulda by now". The only thing your history is good for is retrospective learning. Today can be entirely different than any day in your past because of all the things you've learned. Today, tomorrow ....

Just make today somewhat better than yesterday.

I know that some people have lost a little, others more, others none. I am not talking about the efforts of everyone here, it's about me, how I feel. I just look around me, and I know people take a LOT of time to reach their goal, its just that when I looked at some goal pics in here, it hit me something like 'what r u waiting for? time is passing and you are doing nothing'

suzan
06-15-2009, 05:49 AM
Stop comparing yourself to others!

I'm taking this WL slow this time. All the times in the past I'd lose it quicklyish, and then just burn out and stop all together, and then gain it all back.

Its taken me almost 3 years to just lose over 50 lbs. Yes its going slowly, and yes it would go more quickly if I was more hard core, and never cheated and worked out more - but I know me. And if I do that, I get burned out and quit. And I dont want to quit this time, and I also dont want to be on a diet the rest of my life.

But thats just me. Do what works for you, and dont worry about others!!

I am not comparing myself to others! I am just slapping my head to wake up. I just feel behind, not to others, but to time! I feel like time is passing by and I am stuck here.

suzan
06-15-2009, 05:49 AM
One thing I would suggest is making a pro and con list for weight loss. That might help you move into more consistent action.
Good luck. Let us know how it goes!

Thanks, I will do that now. :^:

srmb60
06-15-2009, 05:55 AM
OK then, lets just use this part of my answer ;)

There is no "shoulda by now". The only thing your history is good for is retrospective learning. Today can be entirely different than any day in your past because of all the things you've learned. Today, tomorrow ....

Just make today somewhat better than yesterday.


You can approach today armed with the knowledge you've learn ... up until today.

suzan
06-15-2009, 05:56 AM
I think your siggy banner says it all. This is a lifestyle change and you have to take your time to figure out what lifestyle changes you can and cannot live with. I really believe that you can take all of this too 'seriously' and set yourself up to do things in the interest of weight loss that you will not be able to sustain over the long haul. I came around to weight loss very, very slowly but once I got it going, new habits started sticking a lot more easily because I had made lots of small changes leading up to it. I can now say I really fell off the wagon for a few months and I am finding the habits are coming back fairly quickly so it was sort of like riding a bike.

Hope that helps a bit. Every day that you do something a little better, a little healthier is a good day in my book. Some days you'd be able to do a whole lot better and those days will start to string together and the momentum will come and you will have that new lifestyle.

Peg

ETA: The good thing is that you are sort of chafing at things so it is probably a good time to make some strides forward but I wouldn't focus on how much better it might have been if you'd done it sooner. Just get rollin'

Thanks, you are right.

suzan
06-15-2009, 05:57 AM
OK then, lets just use this part of my answer ;)

There is no "shoulda by now". The only thing your history is good for is retrospective learning. Today can be entirely different than any day in your past because of all the things you've learned. Today, tomorrow ....

Just make today somewhat better than yesterday.


You can approach today armed with the knowledge you've learn ... up until today.

Thank you, you are right!

rockinrobin
06-15-2009, 07:27 AM
Oh my Goodness, I need people to face me and talk to me like that. I dont know what is stopping me :cry: I know I can do it because I have done it before, it is just that I feel always tired and stressed from my life. I just need motivation from someone around me. I feel lonely and unmotivated most of the time.

One of the best cures for feeling tired and stressed - is a healthy diet and being at a healthy weight. You've got to look at "it" in that way,
I would also urge you to stop focusing on your immediate gratification (the unhealthy quick fix food) and start looking at your LONG TERM SATISFACTION (healthy foods in healthy quantities that will benefit you long after you're done chewing)

Good eating/good health begets more good eating and good health. So just START. MAke a VOW. One day at a time. Give yourself that one great day of good eating. And then another. And another. Before you know it, you'll be in a groove. You'll be feeling better and want to keep on going and going and going.

Make a plan. Map out a food schedule AHEAD of time. This won't happen on it's own. YOU'VE GOT TO PLAN IN OUT IN ADVANCE. Get rid of the junk - ADD in healthy, tasty nutritious food - that will work FOR YOU, not AGAINST YOU.

Require more from yourself. Stop waiting, and wishing and wanting and hoping. Take some positive ACTION. Find out who you were really meant to be. Go for it!!! :hug: