Weight Loss Support - Receiving Weight Loss Advice
06-14-2009, 04:54 AM
No one needs to tell you that you're overweight or obese. You know it if you are. Yet people often feel the need to share their advice about dieting and weight loss with you. How do you feel about receiving weight loss advice?
06-14-2009, 07:57 AM
It depends on the context, I think. If it's just conversation, it's not a problem. If it's comments being not-so-subtly directed at me, then I wouldn't like that at all.
I dislike most discussions about weight, especially among women. What one tends to hear are a lot of complaints and whining about weight while they are ordering dessert... :lol:
06-14-2009, 08:35 AM
I'm fairly polite about it but will try to hurry the conversation along to the next topic if people are trying to discuss it with ME (ie give me their advise, when, thanks, what I'm doing is actually right for me and is working...). When others ASK me for advise, I give my advise and opinion but I try to keep it brief and not push anyone. I often say that a person is more than welcome to check out a WW meeting with me and leave it up to them.
Weight loss is such a personal thing that I am just not super comfortable discussing it with whomever because I don't want to be in a non-serious discussion about it (ie, what Jay mentions above).
06-14-2009, 01:33 PM
I have a few friends at work who are trying to get healthier with me. I like discussing workouts with them, and deciding together that we are NOT going to eat the free delicious cheese bread that is sitting under the heat lamps.
When it comes to my skinny friends or my not-so skinny family, I'd rather they just stay out of it. I finally feel like I know exactly what I'm doing, and I don't need someone telling me I can't have a cookie even when I've worked it into my plan.
06-14-2009, 03:04 PM
I had this problem just yesterday, actually. I mentioned in front of my friends that I was concerned about stalling, and suddenly all of them were talking over each other, trying to "educate" me on how to lose weight.
Okay, me? Lost 35 lbs. Visiting this website everyday. Counting out every calorie, fat gram, sodium intake. Constantly studying weightloss in order to perfect my plan. Them? All overweight, some of them morbidly, and none of them trying to lose. And the advice they're offering? Basic stuff. "You need to exercise." "You should get more greens." "Just eat smaller portions." Yeah, I know all that. And I know how many calories are in a gram of protein, and how much my body burns just staying alive (3008 cal), and why sodium causes water retention.
I've found myself having less patience for their advice lately. Maybe I'm spoiled by the wonderful support here on Three Chicks, but I just can't stand it anymore. I got a little testy with them yesterday over it.
06-14-2009, 03:56 PM
Before I started this weight loss journey - I abhorred anyone talking about the subject. I would find any excuse I could to change the subject or remove myself from the discussion. While I was a WEALTH of knowledge about many, many diets - I kept my mouth shut - TIGHT!
During my weight loss phase of the journey - I LOVED to talk about it (see all my posts here at 3FC as proof). I craved knowledge, I loved sharing what I have learned about myself and from all the wise and wonderful chickies around here.
During my maintenance phase of the journey - I still love talking about it. I love sharing my story if I think it will help others, particularly with folk that did not know me "before". I truly believe that there isn't much special about me that allowed me to be successful - the keys to my success are at the disposal of everyone. And, if I can help anyone on their journey - I feel that it is a small way to give back - in honor of all those that helped me along my journey.
And - if I share my story, everyone should be allowed to share theirs - even if I disagree with their advice, or methods of loss. We can agree to disagree. But, I would much rather have the discussion (here and in person) than let someone believe all of the "crap" that exists out there about weight loss (see the "does it work" forum for examples).
06-14-2009, 04:19 PM
I'm very, very choosy about with whom I share my weight-loss trials and tribulations. I have told one female friend at work; she is tiny and active and fit and has been very supportive. She doesn't talk constantly about it, she doesn't comment on my food choices, she just says things like, "That top makes you look skinny!". Perfect! The only other person at work who knows I'm actively trying is a guy who has lost about 80 pounds over the past year by cutting back on junk and biking to work. He looks like a million bucks, so I pick his brain and we've become fitness buddies.
Other than that, I don't mention it. I don't need the Food Police making comments, or even silently judging every bit I put into my mouth. People are starting to notice now, and if they ask I tell them what I'm doing. But other than that, I don't talk about it because I don't need to be judged.
06-14-2009, 05:17 PM
They must grow a different breed here in Nebraska. Thinking back over the last 15 months or so, I don't think one person has ever offered me weight loss advice...matter of fact, I don't think anyone ever mentioned the need for me to lose weight except for an innocent 5 year old at Sunday School. :)
I have however had several people want to "join" me in my healthy diet along the way...MANY. They ask for advice, have me print out numerous recipies, want every detail, one even wanted to hire me to make her meals. Sad to say that every one of them have quit trying or gave up. All but one of them have gained back every pound they lost. The excuses are priceless. One girl (who is morbidly obese) will often commit she can't/won't/isn't going to lose weight because she's "an eater" Give me a break.
06-14-2009, 05:38 PM
It depends on who it's coming from and if I asked or it's unsolicited ;) I'm picky lol
If it's from someone that isn't well meaning and doing it to be catty then I'm a little rude about it. For people that think they are helping me I will politely get through it.
06-14-2009, 05:43 PM
I learned a long time ago if someone is just giving a tip, I nod and say "ok thanks" or something like that and switch the conversation. Most people who i've known are just trying to be helpful (even though they're not lol), so by acknowledging what they said they feel they've been heard.
of course if it's an extended conversation, well that's a bit more of a challenge....
06-14-2009, 06:10 PM
I hate it when people try to talk to me about dieting and weightloss.
I am fully aware of how snarky this sounds, but most weightloss "tips and tricks" are absolutely useless to me. I am a great example of things that work and though they may not for everyone, I'm still quite set in my ways ;)
For example, I became absolutely irate when having drinks with some old acquaintances a while ago. She was ordering a Caesar salad because it was "low calorie" and the healthiest thing on the menu. I pointed out- and I admit this was probably equally irritating- that Caesar salads are notoriously deceptive for being low calorie. She insisted that it was a healthy option (we had been discussing dieting prior to ordering food).
This just proved to me that my own beliefs about food and weightloss are so deep rooted that it really doesn't make any sense to discuss it. I guess it's sort of like discussing politics to some people.
06-14-2009, 07:58 PM
They must grow a different breed here in Nebraska. Thinking back over the last 15 months or so, I don't think one person has ever offered me weight loss advice.
Mine is mostly family. My mom is prone to catty remarks even though she has had her own struggles with weight loss. I did once have an acquaitance tell me, "Boy, you've really put on weight" and then protested that she didn't mean it in a *mean* way when I was offended. I'm lucky that I'm tall; I probably don't look like I weigh as much as I do even though nobody is going to mistake me for being skinny.
People at work are fine. I work mostly with men, and they wouldn't make a personal comment either way, whether I looked good or bad or in between. I did have an old high school friend ask me for my address about 10 years ago; she then sent me materials for a weight-loss product she was hawking. I was pissed.
06-14-2009, 08:10 PM
Totally agree with you.. You cannot please everybody.