20-Somethings - Striving for a weight I used to hate




forestroad
06-11-2009, 10:28 PM
This is both frustrating and exciting. It's frustrating because 140lbs was a weight that I used to feel fat at, and be a size 10 at, and when that's what I feel like I have to look forward to, it's hard to get motivated.

On the other hand, it's exciting because I think I'm more toned than I used to be at that weight, and at that weight my body fat percentage will be 18%, assuming I don't lose muscle. So, I'm excited that I *only* have to get down to 140 to be fit and toned and slide into some size 8s (I hope), and excited that my physique might be better and more toned than it was when I was even thinner than that.

Anyone else having this kind of experience?


Rosinante
06-12-2009, 03:04 AM
I recognize the experience!
One of my goals is to get to 172, which seems such a lot lighter than my start weight of 242 (and it is), but it's the 'omigod I'm so gross' weight I started from when I first lost al the weight I needed to, some 25 years ago.
The second time, 5 years ago, I started at 242, aiming for 120 but got to 136. People said I looked skinny in the face but my body was certainly untoned, a UK10-UK12.
THIS time, I'm aiming for 135 but going for a toned body so that I look better, more in proportion and fit into UK10s regularly!

Secret Swan
06-12-2009, 06:19 AM
I know exactly what you mean. I am still more than thirty pounds more than my goal, a weight I hated and felt fat at and wore size 8s in. But listen, time has passed, we might not look the same when we get there, and for me at least it was a lot more work to be in the 120s, so to heck with it! I picked my goal because I have been there before, and I know I can do it, and we have to start somewhere, and I will reevaluate the situation when I get there.


TraceyElaine
06-12-2009, 06:50 AM
I was 120lbs in highschool and 5'6. I was a size 8-5. All my friends were like 5'3 and size 2-0. I always felt fat with them. I know now they looked like boys and I had curves and muscle and looked amazing. Teenage girls, i tell ya! I would kill for that body now. But I'm pretty excited about the one I will have when I reach goal.

KnitALisa
06-12-2009, 07:11 AM
Same here. I've never been "thin," but back in the days of early high school I was 150-160ish and I think I wore a 12(?). I thought I was the biggest tub of lard (didn't help that I had friends that would call me up, so excited that they had finally made it into triple digits, ie. weighed 100lbs).

Now, I can't wait to be 150-160. I'm aiming for lower, so I can have a healthy BMI, but I can't wait to see what I look like at that weight. I avoided the camera a lot, even then, but the few pics I do have look pretty darn good!

forestroad
06-12-2009, 09:41 AM
The thing is though, the lowest I could ever go and still have the bare minimum percentage of fat on me (10-12%) is 130, so I'm not even aiming for lower than 140...it's like, that's it, that's all I get and I'm only 5'5". So I have to have faith that I will look better at 140 than I'm accustomed to looking at that weight.

stellarosa27
06-12-2009, 09:46 AM
In highschool I was between 150-160 and thought I was the biggest girl around (I wasn't, I have serious self-perception issues). Now I think I'd gravely injure someone to be at 170, like I was when I was 20. I was between a size 10 and 12 at that point, and I looked good (judging from pictures)! If only I could go back to my 20 year old self and be like LOVE WHAT YOU HAVE NOW AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!

I'm not a "body hater" - I appreciate what I have, and I'm working to make it better. I don't necessarily disgust myself (unless its a bad picture, but the camera adds 10-20 lbs ;) ) - I just know I should be healthier - that's my main motivation. I'm not so sure I was healthier in highschool since I had one meal a day (which was usually chicken mcnuggets) and slim fast for breakfast.

When I get to my goal (its not an IF, its a WHEN) I will know I will be healthier, both because of my eating choices and having a non-obese BMI.

Shannon1983
06-12-2009, 09:55 AM
When i was in Highschool i was 155-160 pounds and at almost 5'7" I wore anywhere from a size 10-14. I have HUGE hip bones and it all depends on the brand and how they were made. Back then i thought i was fat because of the size of jeans i wore. at a reunion a few years back i so felt better once i found out that one of the cheerleaders who was one of the best wore the same size i did. Now looking back at pictures i wish i was that size now because i honestly was not fat at all.. Kinda makes me sick right now..lol I know i will get back to where i have to be sooner or later!!


Best of luck all to everyone!! We all know how hard this is and can be!!

MandiK
06-12-2009, 10:08 AM
I've had this experience.
I remember when I was in high school I was getting ready to go to one of the dances. I felt like I was soooo fat. I did not want my parents even taking a picture of me. I even wore a girdle type thing!!! Now I look at those pictures and I realize I wasn't that fat. I would be out of this world excited to be that weight again!

sws19
06-12-2009, 10:10 AM
i have definitely thought about this a bit, and the irony of it all. i'm kinda excited to be 140 again. i look better than i have in several years. but at the same time, not so far back in the recesses of my brain, i remember the horror i felt when i reached 140 going the other direction. and compounding the private horror i felt at the time (i think senior yr in h.s.? or maybe junior?), 140 was also when my parents both sat me down together for what would be the first of many "intervention" style "we love you very much but we're so worried about your weight" talks that would plague me for the next 10 years as i grew increasingly heavy. my mother had privately been saying these things in her own way to me for a few years prior, but i cannot even begin to tell you how depressing it was, as a teenage girl, to have both my mother AND my father sit me down and very earnestly express that sort of concern in an organized and premeditated way. gah! makes me embarrassed just to think about it. but anyway, moving into 140 from the other direction, i feel pretty good about things. obviously i'm not there yet, but hey, i'm starting to look good!

forestroad
06-12-2009, 10:22 AM
sws- I totally had this experience with my parents. At about 140 they used to tell me that I "wasn't fat but was going in the wrong direction"...my mother was the more vocal one (telling me in front of friends that I should by myself a nice black one piece and literally slapping my hand/kicking me under the table away IN A PUBLIC RESTAURANT when I would reach for a roll or a french fry), but my father was just as emotionally damaging in his quiet disapproval kind of way...he would only comment every once in a while, but when he would, it would be brutal.

Most people look forward to getting care packages from their mom at college right? Not me...mine would contain magazine articles about weightloss, exercise, and maybe some weight control oatmeal packets! Not very subtle. But at least she cares.

I guess the problem I'm having is two-fold. I definitely have the "omg I can't believe I ever thought I was fat at that weight I would kill to weigh ___ again!", but I also have the knowledge that my body is very different than it was then, and I have to readjust my goals to not want to weigh ____ again, because it would be unhealthy. On paper, 5'5"/125lbs looks healthy; it's a bmi of 21, but for me it would put me at 8% body fat, which is definitely not healthy.

Sheena41
06-12-2009, 10:24 AM
I know the feeling. I used to think I was overweight at 127lbs. Now I would be thrilled with 140.

SamanthaJubilee
06-12-2009, 12:30 PM
Wow...I had the opposite response from my step mother. After having my first child (at a very young age) she told me that (and I quote) "you will never get your body back, so there is no point in try" & "there is no reason for you to go walking, you will never lose that belly". with all the BAD examples that were being set before me and the poor quality of food being "offered" it became harder and harder to fight it. Eventually it set it. I will never be a size 7 (Rockies) again and I should stop making the effort to look good. I look back now at how I looked at 16 (even after having my 1st child) and I realized just how beautiful I was. Even after gaining 15 lbs (by my senior year)...at 145 - 150 I looked great! I can't believe that I was so hard on myself back then. However, I wasn't healthy.

I can't wait to get back under 200 again. I do have my goal weight set at what I should weight for my height/frame, but I really just want to be healthy and comfortable in my own skin. If I can get to 150, I know I will be happy.

JulieJ08
06-12-2009, 12:54 PM
I have a really hard time comparing my current weight and size to what I was ten years ago when I weighed 130 and wore a size 8. I still weigh more now, but I wear a size 6. It's not because I now have more muscle and am therefore smaller - because I was weight training *then* (10 years ago) and not now, so really it would be the opposite if anything. It's because sizes have changed so much. I don't have any clothes left from that time. And I just cannot tell how my current size compares to back then, it's been too long to really compare just from memory. So I don't know how my final weight will compare this time to last time, I'll just have to see where it ends up.

forestroad
06-12-2009, 12:55 PM
swsmy mother was the more vocal one (telling me in front of friends that I should by myself a nice black one piece and literally slapping my hand/kicking me under the table away IN A PUBLIC RESTAURANT when I would reach for a roll or a french fry),

Ok so I just have to tell the French fry story...maybe I should start a thread about things your mother has said to you that was mortifying at the time but now hilarious. So, my parents came up to VT from MD to visit me, and took me, my boyfriend, and my roommate out to dinner at this gourmet French restaurant that has the best fries ever. They serve a big basket with the meal with a bunch of dipping sauces. We were sharing a basket between 5 people, so I wasn't exactly pigging out, but when I reached for seconds my mother actually practically shouted "Oh, Elizabeth!" at me and reached to stop me from taking the fries. After an awkward silence, I said something like 'thanks mom but those comments aren't actually helping'. Her response: "Oh honey, it's not that you're fat, but french fries give you cancer!" Obv. overdoing it on the transfats is not good, but now I can't eat french fries in front of my friends without a crack about how they're giving me cancer. Just one of the many approaches my mother has tried to get me to stop eating.

carcar05
06-12-2009, 01:33 PM
This is my EXACT experience- in high school i was 135-140 and felt so chubby. And looking at some of my older photos I didn't look bad at all, but I am way more toned now, at 170+ than I was then! haha!

So weird, I look forward to being that weight (140ish) again and instead understand what it means to be toned and how to eat right so the kind of weight I'm carrying is muscle instead of the biproduct of poor eating. :)

forestroad
06-12-2009, 01:37 PM
carcar- soo glad to hear it...your measurements are inspirational!!! Nice work :)

booskibabe
06-12-2009, 01:45 PM
I am SO with you! I am thrilled right now to be hovering at 165, the weight which horrified me before I got pregnant - it was my "red line" that I refused to go over. I was in the 130's (my goal weight range) for awhile as a teen and thought I was chubby. I recently saw a picture of myself then, and I looked really good!
Amazing what a little perspective can do. :)

KnitALisa
06-12-2009, 05:10 PM
forestroad & sws - Oh man, can I hear you on the mother issues! My mom is a total health/exercise nut and is 5'8 and 135lbs. She looks really thin. I'm 5'4 on a good day, and well... not thin. I know that all of her comments and actions came from a place of love, but my weight led to a major war between us, especially in my early teen years. I was about 140-150 then and was always hearing about losing 10 lbs. She would say things in public or in front of extended family about my food choices or how much I was eating which was utterly humiliating for me. Of course, this led to me sneaking food, lying to her about exercise, etc.

We're in a better place now, but the whole issue still rears it's ugly head occaisionally. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable eating around her or I feel like I have to justify my choices to her. But mostly it is good; she's learned to just shut up on negative comments, especially about my food choices. Instead, she gives me lots of positive "Go girl!" type comments when I bring up my weight loss. Much better! :)

Stella
06-12-2009, 05:10 PM
yes, I recognize that, too. There are certain bench marks you never want to go above when you are gaining, and they will be the same which you will aim for when you are losing.

stargzr
06-12-2009, 11:42 PM
I completely understand what you mean. I graduated high school at 187. While I wasn't the thinnest girl around, I still wore a juniors size 7! About two years later, I had lost some weight and was down to 167 - but I was stressed and wasn't eating much, let alone healthy. Now I am so far beyond either of those previous weights that I would be so happy to have one of them back. Since I know my body will let me get down to 167, I set my goal just below that at 165.
I do have to admit that some of these stories are really funny... My mom was significantly obese (near to 500lbs) my entire life. My father was super thin (really fast metabolism), my older brother has been heavy since I can remember, and my sister had problems battling anorexia all through her high school years. I guess she was upset that my weight was a non-factor for me back then so she made it a point to call me fat almost every day. I began to think I was fat at 187 in a size 7! Looking back I realize it was her issues that caused her to be mean to me like that, nonetheless, it really affected my self perception. I feel like no matter what I weigh, I will always think I am heavy. So once I lose my weight I will have to rely on my husband for my true self image... but I'll be working on it!
So anyways..

sunflowergirl68
06-13-2009, 12:44 AM
This is both frustrating and exciting. It's frustrating because 140lbs was a weight that I used to feel fat at, and be a size 10 at, and when that's what I feel like I have to look forward to, it's hard to get motivated.

On the other hand, it's exciting because I think I'm more toned than I used to be at that weight, and at that weight my body fat percentage will be 18%, assuming I don't lose muscle. So, I'm excited that I *only* have to get down to 140 to be fit and toned and slide into some size 8s (I hope), and excited that my physique might be better and more toned than it was when I was even thinner than that.

Anyone else having this kind of experience?


Let me tell you something. I wouldn't be afraid or frustrated to get to that weight because it was probably all in your head, feeling fat at that weight.

When i was in high school, i just thought i was so fat, and oveweight and chubby and i had very poor body self-esteem. Anyways, I was around 135-140, and it said 135 on my DL from when I was 15. Anyways, 9 years later I got it renewed and had to get a new picture... the differences are amazing. I was soooo skinny back then compared to now. And even though i felt fat at that weight, I wasn't. So I think that there's a huge chance that it was just all in your mind.

bluebird19
06-13-2009, 01:16 AM
I totally feel ya too. I am aiming right now for a ten pound mini goal, but that only brings me to 181. 181?!??! It feels like that's way farrrrr awaaayyyy from where I want to be. sigh. It's ok. A journey of a thousand miles starts with one single step. And then a whole bunch more steps. and a few after that, and then before you know it you're in a full out sprint, on a treadmill, dropping pounds....

haha :)