20-Somethings - No, I'm not preggo! **SO EMBARRASSED**

06-10-2009, 03:18 PM
Today the DA walked into my office to serve my boss a subpeona (or however u spell it) I got up to grab him, and sat back down, and i noticed she kept staring at me. I'm wearing big black hoop earrings today, so I thought maybe she was staring at those. Then all of a sudden she asks "Are you expecting?" I shot her a very DIRTY look :mad: and said "Um, no I'm not ... but THANK YOU FOR THAT!" And the she said "I'm sorry, I thought I seen a little pooch..." OMG, I almost died! My boss walked out to greet her, and I went to one of the back cubicals and started balling. Usually I wouldn't cry over this, but I couldn't stop it for some reason. I weighed in on monday and lost about 3 lbs, so I was feeling all good about myself, and now I just feel like crap. I've been working so hard and it just sucks to hear something so negetive :(

Anyway, thanks for listening ....

Thighs Be Gone
06-10-2009, 03:21 PM
Some of the blouses these days (peasant style) are very much lending themselves to making the WORLD look prego--even itty bitties.

I would never, ever, in a million years EVER ask anyone that though.

06-10-2009, 03:28 PM
Ugh....sometimes people don't think :(

Gosh I'd never ask anyone that!

Hello Nurse
06-10-2009, 03:36 PM
There is a saying in nursing (maybe elsewhere too, dunno), unless you see the head crowning, never ask a woman if she is pregnant.

I know it prolly doesn't help, but I am sure she is horrified and feels like a giant @$$ (as she should).

06-10-2009, 03:37 PM
There was one time where my mom said that to someone... she felt SOOOOO BAD and still remembers it to this day! She would never say anything like that again and had the best intentions. She was probably just trying to make conversation, you can't let something like that get you down! One day, my boyfriends SEVEN year old sister came up to me and said "you're belly's getting bigger, are you pregnant?" I felt SO bad because children are usually truthful- sometimes TOO truthful. When this happened I might have gained a couple lbs from when I first met her - only a few lbs heavier than what I am now.

06-10-2009, 03:48 PM
Ugh, I know how you feel. One time last year I saw this lady I used to work with. She looked at me and said, "aww, is it going to be a boy or girl?" It was terrifying. I told her I was not pregnant, so she says "well, you must have really let yourself go then didn't you" It made me so angry and so embarrassed. I went home that day and cried. I never told anyone, even when I was with a group of people who were talking about stories just like this one. I don't think looked pregnant, but the jacket I was wearing made my stomach look bigger. I have not worn that jacket since. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You are doing great, keep up the good work. Don't let her comment discourage you.

06-10-2009, 03:55 PM
Don't let it get to you, misspiggy. Some people apparently have NO brain-to-mouth filter.

06-10-2009, 03:57 PM
I have been asked that, too, a couple of times when I was overweight. People who would ask such a question ar obviously ignorant and rude, too . I would never ask someone if they are pregnant.

06-10-2009, 04:10 PM
Some of the blouses these days (peasant style) are very much lending themselves to making the WORLD look prego--even itty bitties.

I've noticed that trend, and I HATE it! I didn't work to lose 80 pounds to wear clothes that make me look pregnant!!!

And what's crazier is that maternity clothing is tight now, to show off the belly, while regular clothing is billowy and loose.

Case in point...I had to make an emergency shopping trip for a nice shirt to wear before a graduation last Monday. I went to Target, and went ALL through the regular section. Nothing that wasn't big, billowy and honestly hideous....other than one slightly-less-puffy sleeveless white top. So I tried it on (and ended up getting it eventually). On the way to the dressing room, I passed through the maternity section and saw this to-die-for patterned top that was entirely too cute to pass up. I thought, "What the heck" and tried on an extra small. It was great, looked good and fit, so I got it. I held both up to me in front of my husband and asked him to pick the "maternity wear." He picked the white shirt from the regular section...NOTHING about the other one looks maternity at all.

In response to the original post..boo on her! I can't imagine EVER being so rude! The way she ASKED...it was almost like she was just trying to get a rise out of you. Ignore these types of people and contrats on your loss!!!

06-10-2009, 04:16 PM
I've been overweight my whole life. I remember one day when I was 9 YEARS OLD. A teenage kid came up to me asked if I was pregnant. I can't tell you how much I felt like crap at that moment. I still remember it and that was like a decade ago. :(

06-10-2009, 04:38 PM
Le sigh... Sometimes I genuinely think that there are some people who need remedial social skills class. They just genuinely do no think!

06-10-2009, 04:47 PM
"well, you must have really let yourself go then didn't you"

Accidently thinking someone could be pregnant because of a top they are wearing is one thing, but this is just blatantly RUDE! I sometimes wonder where people learned what they consider to be socially acceptable behavior!

I would never ask someone I didn’t know or hadn’t seen in a while if they were pregnant. So many things could make it appear that way, and I certainly wouldn’t ask if there was any question in my mind because many people wouldn’t want everyone to know even if they were pregnant if they weren’t very far along. I too have been asked when I was due, and my reaction was to make up a date and then walk away to cry :/. Not sure why I did that, guess I was just too embarrassed to say I wasn’t pregnant, but just looked that way :/

Misspiggy ~ continue to be proud of your accomplishments, and remember that people unfortunately don't always think before they speak. Keep doing what you're doing; you deserve to be happy - one comment doesn't change the good you are doing for yourself :)

06-10-2009, 04:57 PM
You should have said, why no, I realize being pregnant yourself, you're probably seeing baby bellies everywhere very innocent like! I bet that would have shut her up! The witch, I had that happen to me once and it's horrible when someone asks that!

06-10-2009, 05:01 PM
:hug: don't let that get you down, you are doing GRRRRR8!! and i totally agree that she has to feel like an ***, and will probably never ask anyone that again!

06-10-2009, 05:02 PM
[QUOTE=MindiV;2779789]On the way to the dressing room, I passed through the maternity section and saw this to-die-for patterned top that was entirely too cute to pass up. [QUOTE]

I HATE it when I see something cute and realize it's maternity wear! Also when the little girls stuff is cuter than the women's stuff. Maybe I should try on some materinty stuff, though, lol.

misspiggy, that is ABSOLUTELY horrible. People are so stupid! And many don't learn to think before they speak. Don't let rudness and idiocy get you down!

06-10-2009, 05:43 PM
UGH! The "I thought I saw a little pooch" comment would have put me over the edge... I would NEVER ask someone if they were pregnant if I did not know it for a FACT... I've caught myselft wondering about a person on several occasions, but did NOT ask...
If I am ever stupid enough to make that mistake... the last thing I would say is "I thought I saw a little pooch." I dont know if I could say anything at that point! Knowing myself I would probably turn 10 different shades of red and apologize profusely.

Miss Piggy - I think you're doing great... I've been stuck in the mid-150's for a couple weeks; I can't wait to be where you are!

Don't let this discourage you... use it as motivation!

06-10-2009, 06:58 PM
Thank you all for your support! You guys have made me feel a whole lot better! :D Hopefully this will just motivate me too keep on working hard.

06-10-2009, 09:30 PM
I think people should never comment about someone being "pregnant" unless it's just REALLY obvious... like when you see a lady whos belly looks so out of proportion to the rest of her body that everyone in the world knows she is pregnant... But I really dont get why somebody would ASK a person if they're pregnant........... soooo socially inept!

06-10-2009, 10:07 PM
Don't get upset! There's plenty of times while I'm work at I see women who are VERY thin with pooches and I wonder if they're pregnant. I think some women just naturally have a round pooch and we don't realize it. I just don't think I'd EVER assume that one of them are indeed pregnant.

06-10-2009, 10:30 PM
And the dummy had the nerve to explain why she thought you were pregnant? UGHHHH!

Back when I was 16 years old and weighed 160 pounds (girl, I looked GOOD), some lady told me it wasn't right to smoke while I was pregnant (I smoked as a teen - tacky, I know). I was on break at Wendy's, and the shirts weren't too flattering, but WTH? I cried.

06-10-2009, 10:43 PM
I had a lady ask me that when i was 17. I was in a size 10 jeans. Hello! TEN! and she asked if i was pregnant. I replied, "No I'm not pregnant! I'm FAT!"

That was the beginning of the end for me I think. Even in a size 10 jeans someone though I still looked fat.

Tell them to kiss your behind, keep your head held high and keep goin!

"I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet" Tell em that next time. Hehe.

06-11-2009, 02:10 AM
I got asked this 5 times in a year. The whole range:
"Are you pregnant?"
"When's your baby due?"
"How many more months?"

The first time I apologized to them, like it was my fault or something. By the last time, I was really quite rude about it. I mean you can only hear it so many times!

I told myself if I'm ever asked again to say "No, I'm just fat. Are YOU pregnant?" Maybe I won't have the guts but...

Anyways, it was a huge motivator to get in shape. I've lost 5 inches from my waist and haven't had such a comment in a long time.

But can I rant for a minute?

I blame celebrity gossip magazines. I read that baby/pregnancy covers are some of the best sellers and so it makes sense that each magazine wants to be the FIRST to get the pregnancy story. That means they are looking at pin-thin celebrities for the tiniest sign of waist-expansion.. or even a bad angle or flowing top. I feel like this hyper-sensitivity to women's bodies is making it normal to look at someone's not-flat stomach and think BABY.

I think naturally many women's bodies have that little pooch. Look at someone like Marilyn Monroe... she had the little stomach. Nobody assumed she was pregnant, though I'm sure if she had her picture taken today, everyone would be talking about who the father is... (of that burrito in her belly?).

And it's true, the fashion right now it kind of maternity style. I used to work with a girl at a group home and twice the group home clients asked her if she was pregnant. She probably weighed under 120 and was what I thought to be quite slim. It was 100% the style of shirt.

I'm just such a big proponent of mind-your-own-business!!! I've never been pregnant so I don't know if pregnant people WANT people who just come up to them and talk about their bellies but I know generally I don't care for strangers to walk up to me to talk about my physical appearance.

And to the comment: "Wow you must've really let yourself go!"

Not that you'll probably ever hear something like that again in your life time but something as simple as "That must be the rudest comment I've ever heard someone say in my whole life."

Ugh, I gotta stop. Sorry this is a really near-and-dear topic and I agree... terrifying. I'm totally preaching to the choir here.

06-11-2009, 02:37 AM
I have the infamous upper belly roll, you know, the one that sadly sticks out further than my boobs. ugh...I'm hoping not for long. Either way, it seems to present a pregolike bulge.
I work with kids, and we know kids are BRUTALLY honest! I don't even think I can count on both hands how many times I've had a little one come up to hug me, rub their hands on my tummy and and very sweetly look up to me, continue rubbing and ask "You have a baby in there?". I mean seriously, they didn't mean any harm of course, but my feelings were definitely hurt.
Rather than taking offense of it, I should have gotten motivation from it.
Hang in there ladies...

06-11-2009, 04:00 AM
If its any consolation I got asked that question too. I was really upset because I had just joined work and was trying to get along with everyone when some skini-mini pops that question out of nowhere, I hardly even knew her back then. sigh
Your doing great with all the weight loss so keep it up and dont let something like this get you down. :hug:

06-11-2009, 12:33 PM
She's a DA serving her own subpoenas. She has a thankless job that takes a tremendous amount of time and doesn't pay well, and apparently is doing her own grunt work. Clearly she needs ways to make herself feel better about her life, and she chose you to take it out on.

Don't take it personally.

06-11-2009, 04:20 PM
Yikes! the nerve of some people.
Obviously she's not worth the energy we're all expending here, neither is her opinion. Don't let it get you down. Like others have said, let it motivate you. Sorry that happened though. I hate when people make thoughtless comments at me.

06-13-2009, 12:13 AM
don't let her get you down!! congrats on your success

btw: i've worked with over 8 attorneys for 3 years..all are buttholes..it's like the last year of their juris doctorate degree is A-HOLE training.

RubyGuggenheim is right... a DA serving her own subpoena?...yeah I'd be a teeny weeny obnoxious if I had over 60k+ in school loans and have to do my own serving...they have process servers for that..lol

06-13-2009, 06:03 AM
At 148lb she thinks you are prego, then she would probably think that I'm expecting twins...

As long as you see results that's all that matters...

06-13-2009, 01:55 PM
I agree with everyone on here. That was rude. My 4 year old asked me if a baby was in my belly last night, all I could do was cry......but I have to say it just may have been the motivation I need!

Secret Swan
06-13-2009, 10:14 PM
that is awful! She should know that you never say things like that, even when someone is clearly eight months pregnant and otherwise a tiny thing. Heck, my ears are still burning form the tongue lashing I got when I was seven and asked the neighbor lady if she was pregnant. She was, but my mom let me have it so hard I will NEVER ask, comment, or in any way allude to a pregnancy again until I have been personally informed of it by the woman.

06-14-2009, 10:55 AM
I've been on all sides of this....

When I was 17 and working at Kohl's, a woman asked me when I was due. I choose to think it was bc of my billowy dress. I just looked at her like I didn't understand, since I don't think she meant to be rude.

Then, when I was 19, I started to notice my best friend gaining weight in a pregnant-y way. But I knew she *couldn't* be pregnant, and she had recently been underweight, so I didn't say anything. Turns out she was much more pregnant than she looked, and not saying anything meant that I wasn't able to be there for her when she really needed me.

At work recently, a newly-married colleague began to gain weight in a very pregnant-y way. I didn't say anything for a long time. Finally, I said, I'm so sorry if I'm wrong, but are you? She said no, just gaining weight from stress. And she didn't have to say anything mean to make me feel bad!

So, if a person says anything like this to you, and doesn't say anything mean, I'd say assume it was an honest mistake and blame it on big clothes/lighting!!!

06-14-2009, 11:47 AM
She's a DA serving her own subpoenas.

What does DA mean? I can't figure it out.

06-14-2009, 11:51 AM
What does DA mean? I can't figure it out.

I'm assuming District Attorney.

06-14-2009, 03:50 PM
I've been asked that before, and it was well into my weight loss journey! Grr. Anyways Ithink overall it is a horribly rude question. If someone were pregnant and wanted you to know they would share. Even if someone is pregnant it's just rude to ask either way.

06-14-2009, 04:28 PM
I've also had this happen to me and, since I was *not* pregnant, it was absolutely mortifying. I agree it's rude to ask either way. If someone IS preggo and wants to share their good news, they will. And if they don't feel the need for an explanation, that's okay too. Either way, it's really no one else's business and simply bad manners to ask such personal questions.

06-15-2009, 01:24 PM
First of all I am in total disbelief that anyone could be so flippin' AIR HEADED!

I also feel pretty guilty because I can think of a million and one not-so-nice retorts that would come in handy. But that would make me just as bad as they are. :o