20-Somethings - I had a talk with my bf...




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DRose
06-08-2009, 05:46 PM
So last night I finally realized I can't keep thinking I will be able to control my eating around my bf even though the past suggests that I can't. So I decided to talk with him about my struggles. Here is how it went...

Me- "Can I talk to you about something?"
Him- "Yeah..."
Me- "I've decided to start eating healthier but I find that whenever I'm with you it's almost impossible for me. I don't know what it is. Honestly, I'm worried about coming home when school is out because we'll be spending more time together and therefore eating more. I don't know if its because I want to eat whatever you're having or what, but I would really like your help."
Him- "Okay, I can do that. How do you want me to help you?"
Me- "I feel bad asking but I think the best solution for me is if you ate healthier things with me, at least when we're together. Because I usually have good intentions in trying to decide what to eat but it's really hard not to have some when you're snacking on chips and salsa, or making frozen pizza..."
Him- "Okay.. if I do that will you take the lead in selecting healthy things for us to eat?"
Me- "Yes I can come up with stuff for us to have"

I also made sure to mention that if I'm about to make a bad decision it hurts my feelings when he says things like "Are you sure you want that???!" Even though I know he's just trying to help, it would be better if he found a nicer way to say it...He felt bad saying that he's been putting all this bad food in front of me and that he's been selfish. I made sure to let him know its not his fault, and I just want him to know how he can help me be successful in meeting my goals.

Now I am feeling much better about coming home, and I'm really hoping we stick to this. Being around my bf is almost a guarantee I won't stay OP so hopefully this fixes that!:carrot::D


rosiem
06-08-2009, 05:48 PM
Way to go with the healthy communication :-) I'm sure it will be much easier now your bf knows how you feel!

ringmaster
06-08-2009, 06:32 PM
That's wonderful he's so supportive; it'll also be good for him in the long run to eat healthier too, even if he doesn't have a weight problem.


sprklemajik
06-08-2009, 07:03 PM
Good job! That's an excellent step towards living this as a lifestyle change. :)

KnitALisa
06-08-2009, 08:42 PM
Aw, good boyfriend! It's great that you're taking the lead, that gives you lots of control over what goes in your mouth. :)

jessicaRo
06-09-2009, 04:03 AM
That's awesome that he was so supportive! :D It's hard trying to communicate with someone not going through weight loss...

david
06-09-2009, 04:23 AM
DR i was waiting for you to say that he was sarcastic or that he didnt really want to help...maybe ive been watching too much reality tv...sounds like a good boyfriend

jstronger
06-09-2009, 09:19 AM
Yay! He IS a good bf, and way to go you for asking for what you needed! I think women in general don't do that enough for themselves. Good job!:)

janellody
06-09-2009, 09:49 AM
I had the same issue with my hubby for the longest time after we got married... it was hard to WANT to stay OP when we were in wedded bliss and who the **** cares what I look like when we are both so happy??

But, anyways, eventually I had the same conversation with him that you had, he wanted to eat healthier, too, so it worked for awhile. But, he also wanted fast food sometimes so it eventually stopped working for me, but I have found a happy medium. I eat what I want, he eats what he wants, and since he knows I am dieting, I get to eat a couple bites of what he is having to satisfy my craving for bad food. :) It seems to be working the b est for me, I take a couple bites of his and that is it! And now sometimes I don't even feel the need to have a bite, so it is getting better!.

DRose
06-09-2009, 04:13 PM
Janellody I see you're in Salem, I'm up in Portland. Nice to see someone from Oregon!

Everyone thanks for your responses, and he is a good boyfriend :D

Shannon1983
06-09-2009, 08:50 PM
Way to go!! That is wonderful.. I wish my husband would communicate with me like that when it comes to my diet and weight loss journey.
I am so glad it went that well and i wish you the best on your weight loss journey. I hope your BF keep with you in your decision to keep eating healty.
Again congrats!!

janellody
06-09-2009, 09:50 PM
Janellody I see you're in Salem, I'm up in Portland. Nice to see someone from Oregon!

Yes, nice to meet you! :D

orthodiva
06-09-2009, 10:52 PM
DRose, wow, this sounds great!

I am going to cut and paste your conversation and e-mail it to my (sometimes boneheaded) fiance to read as an example of how to be supportive when I move back to being closer to him.