100 lb. Club - Why do we fall off the wagon




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timkerbelle
06-07-2009, 11:44 AM
Well the question is in the title. Time and time again I have a limited success, and then I throw it all away. It has happened now, and I am sad and disappointed in myself. The thing is that this time I felt that "now, this is when it will happen".
Then a planned off the plan day came (BF's birthday) and it turned into two weeks and 4kgs put back on.
I don't know why I do this. Is there a good way to avoid it?
Before this planned event things were going great. I wasn't dropping as fast as I wanted, but I was thrilled that I was sticking to my plan like glue. It did give results as well. I stuck to it every day for over a month which is a record for me, and I was sure that nothing would change it this time.
I was wrong.
Is the solution to simply never go there? To never give in to temptation, planned or not?

If you ever stray off plan (and I'm talking more than just one meal here and there, I'm talking days of bad eating) do you know what it is that triggers it, and is there a good way to avoid it from happening in the future?

I know I want weightloss more than anything, but apparently not more than chocolate :( ??!!


glutio
06-07-2009, 11:54 AM
I've noticed a lot of people around here mentioning that eating off plan things makes them crave more off plan things and there's just a downward spiral. Instead of planning complete off plan days, try to just be mindful of your plan and allow for a few exceptions. Remind yourself that on plan isn't just temporary, it's a new lifestyle. You're doing so well with your plan, just get back on the wagon!

Slashnl
06-07-2009, 12:01 PM
Sometimes I think that the anticipation of an "off plan" day makes it a free for all. "I'm already off plan, so why not just go all out?" I am certainly not an expert here, but maybe if those off plan meals can just be a meal and not a full day. And even then, limit how much you have in those off plan meals.

The other key is that even if you go off plan, you can't beat yourself up and call it quits. Again, no expert here, but call it what it is... a temporary diversion... and get back on plan. No calling yourself bad names, no beating on yourself or feeling like you are a complete failure. You are doing well and you can keep going. Make a fresh start and give yourself the same consideration that you would give a good friend. You are NOT a failure!


Thighs Be Gone
06-07-2009, 12:08 PM
Hey, no self-loating here. Love yourself and the rest will come along. Great advice above.

You recognized this two weeks in. That is awesome as far as I am concerned. We can all relate. Jump back on that bicycle and lets keep going.

rockinrobin
06-07-2009, 12:11 PM
Is the solution to simply never go there? To never give in to temptation, planned or not?

For me, in the beginning - YES! Yes it was. That WAS the way to go. Because time and time and time again, giving into temptation that one time - led to many, many times. It WAS easier for me to stay on plan, then to go off - and have to get back ON. Eating "those foods" always make me want to eat "more of those foods". Yuck. Who the heck needs it? This time, I was not willing to take any chances by veering off plan. I needed to set myself up for success. History had to stop repeating itself. So I changed the plan. I stayed on plan - through birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, social functions, stress, boredom - you name it. I knew (hoped) eventually down the road, I could add in occasional splurges without them triggering days and weeks of "off" eating. But not now. LAter. Now, I was on a mission. I had a job to do - get rid of the weight that was at a life-threatening stage.

I know I want weightloss more than anything, but apparently not more than chocolate

For me, steady, consistent long term weight loss could not occur until my desire to be thin and healthy outweighed and over powered my desire for the high quantity/high calorie food.

Why do we fall off the wagon

Because we're all, each and every one of us - human. There is absolutely no shame or even harm in falling off the wagon. We all need to accept that and realize that it is inevitable and PART of the journey. Falling off is not the problem here - it's NOT getting back ON where the problem lies.

I also stopped thinking of "it" as falling off the wagon. Or failing at my "diet". If I'm not on a diet, and just want to be a healthy person, then there's nothing to get back ON. Big key here. Okay, so I didn't make the greatest choice "this time". But the very next food choice, the VERY NEXT - I will. Not next week or tomorrow - the VERY NEXT FOOD CHOICE. Period.

I would also make sure that your "on-plan" foods are delicious and satisfying so that you will have no reason to go "off".

Get back on that wagon. Take the reins. Don't delay. Do it today. Before you know it, you'll get 3 good days under your belt and you will be right back in "that groove". You'll be thoroughly relieved and elated and wonder why you didn't do it sooner. :)

Alana in Canada
06-07-2009, 12:15 PM
From the reading I'm doing, it's actually quite normal and part of the process. Change is a cyclical thing. That you are asking the questions means you really are ready to start eating back on plan.

Slip ups happen. They're no reason not to recommit. What can you learn from it?

Tell us more.

Tummy Girl
06-07-2009, 12:16 PM
Only speaking from personal experience of course, but my wagon falling happened because I viewed my eating as being "on" a plan or "off" a plan. I didn't make room for life in my eating and eventually life found it's way back as did the weight. I was sooo strict I lost weight like it was going out of style but I never figured out how to incorporate that into life. There will always be birthdays, holidays and the like but if we can find a way of eating respectfully both during the "easy" times, and not restrict heavily, and the more challening times, and not binge, it might work out better.

This time around I've taken a lot of advice from the maintainers here, after all they are the ones doing what I'm going to do later. This time I've managed to incorporate life and my eating together, so that hopefully I can live, eat great food and enjoy those events without driving myself crazy. And the most exciting proof of this is that yesterday I made little crustless cheesecakes, the healthiest way I could and they were fantastic but I built my day to incorporate it into my calories and today I was down another 0.5 pounds.

So this may just be a long way of saying that I think this time I'm not going to get on a wagon at all, I'm just going to walk (and run a little too) and find a way for my real life to come with me for once.

Rosinante
06-07-2009, 12:19 PM
Hm. I had an answer to write but the others above me have written it first and better!

I don't ever, ever, ever have a day off plan - not because hey, aren't I strong? but exactly the opposite, I'm Not strong and it's all or nothing. I hope to learn to get stronger. On the other hand, with my plan of calorie counting a majority but not exclusively whole foods, I have daily room for a food that others may have listed as off-plan. That I can cope with, because I still have the confines of the calorie budget to stick to.

I truly, truly believe that some foods have an addictive ingredient in them. That's not to absolve me from the choice not to eat them but there are some foods that one bite produces the most enormous and nearly irresistble cravings in me, while just not eating them is never more than a faint sigh of indignation.

And well done for getting back on the waggon!: the last time I fell off, it was 51 months and 89lbs before I got back on again. Dweeb.

rockinrobin
06-07-2009, 12:24 PM
some foods that one bite produces the most enormous and nearly irresistble cravings in me, while just not eating them is never more than a faint sigh of indignation.

And well done for getting back on the waggon!: the last time I fell off, it was 51 months and 89lbs before I got back on again. Dweeb.

Not to hijack this wonderful thread, but Ailidh, has anyone ever told you, that you are adorable? Because - you really, really are. You've got such a great knack of saying things. That is all. Thread can continue now. :smug:

synger
06-07-2009, 12:25 PM
Even "off plan" days and treats need to be planned. I absolutely need to have a strategy for facing off-plan options, or I will fall and fall hard. But over the years I've found the sorts of strategies that work for me; from packing an extra handful of nuts in my purse so I get a protein boost, to looking up restaurants online first, to bringing along a party food that I know I can eat, to planning for "three bites of bliss", to the final stop-gap of "no guilt and move on".

We fall off the wagon because we don't have a plan, or we don't stick to it. And then we say "why bother? I've already fallen" and we go back to our old unhealthy habits. It happens to all of us.

But if you have a plan, and a support system, and you keep being involved even when you fail, then you'll get back on the wagon. And when you do, you'll have more experience, and more plans, and more tips for the next time.

rockinrobin
06-07-2009, 12:32 PM
I also wanted to add, that even if I were to plan in a splurge, sugar-y or carb-y food, to then make it ON plan, that wouldn't have worked *for me* either. Not during the LOSING PORTION, especially early on. Maintenance - another story. LOSING portion. Nope. Not taking any chances. Not worth it.

Yes, into every life some birthdays, holidays and what not will fall, but while I was trying to improve and save the life of the mother of my 3 precious children - those birthdays, holidays and what nots - could be enjoyed WITHOUT fattening/crave-y type foods. I got sooooo much more enjoyment knowing that I was doing what was best for my body. Talk about enjoyment - it's the best! It was eye-opening and so refreshing to me to be able to enjoy "those events" without relying on "those foods". A whole new world opened up to me.

timkerbelle
06-07-2009, 01:30 PM
Wow I'm overwhelmed that so many people took the time to respond! Thank you ever so much ladies.
There is a lot of good food for thought in your replies.
I AM happy that I caught it in reasonable time - this time. I didn't regain all that I lost and for that I am grateful, but I DO still beat myself up over regaining the pounds that I worked so hard to lose.
BUT at this time I just have to get over it and on with it. Today is on plan. I don't want to stray anymore.
It seems I am not the only one who cannot have "days off". I have chosen calorie counting as the way to control my binge eating (comfort eating, boredom eating) and I feel happy when I stick to my plan.

I would also make sure that your "on-plan" foods are delicious and satisfying so that you will have no reason to go "off".

This is probably where one of my problems lie. I don't like cooking, and I have a very limited budget. I am also vegetarian, and carbs seem to trigger tiredness/binges. (another of my problems may also be that I tend to be whiny :p) I want to address this and come up with nutricious TASTY food to eat. I know for a fact that feeling deprived makes that chocolate oh so tempting.

Only speaking from personal experience of course, but my wagon falling happened because I viewed my eating as being "on" a plan or "off" a plan. I didn't make room for life in my eating and eventually life found it's way back as did the weight. I was sooo strict I lost weight like it was going out of style but I never figured out how to incorporate that into life. There will always be birthdays, holidays and the like but if we can find a way of eating respectfully both during the "easy" times, and not restrict heavily, and the more challening times, and not binge, it might work out better.

That makes a lot of sense to me. I have been so much "on" or "off" with no inbetweens. When I'm off I'm REALLY off, and when I'm on I pretty much feel I have to chew on sawdust to be healthy.
Is there a good trick to getting the balance right? I suspect it's all in the mind.

Looking back it probably would have made a lot more sense to allow a little bit more calories for my bf's birthday, to allow for a piece of cake and some nice dinner - and balance that with slightly lower days before?

Time to stop feeling sorry for myself, dust myself off and keep plodding! :)

TakingCharge
06-07-2009, 03:04 PM
When I'm off I'm REALLY off, and when I'm on I pretty much feel I have to chew on sawdust to be healthy.
Is there a good trick to getting the balance right? I suspect it's all in the mind.


Rockinrobin talks about this a lot, so I'm sure she'll chime in here, but what's really works for me is finding healthy foods that I love and now crave! Why would I eat a piece of cake when I could come home and eat a huge, delicious bowl of vanilla yogurt with berries and go to bed feeling great about myself?

I'm also one of those people who just can't have off plan meals, let alone off plan days, but I'm really ok with that. It's the only way for me to lose my taste for junky food that serves no purpose for my body. Not like I'll never eat another brownie again, but right now, I know it's only counterproductive to my effort to get healthy, so why even go there? For me, when I'm at a birthday with cake or get a craving for a cookie or something, I just think: it's a freakin cookie...am I really gonna let this cookie control me? Will this cookie make me happy? And then I go for an apple instead!

It's all about finding what works for you and making this journey both easy and successful!

Beautiful Ace
06-07-2009, 03:07 PM
I think the reason for me would be that I slightly lose hope. I've never fallen completely off, but I've gone through the beginning stages. Like you know, eating a couple bites of stuff here and there... Or one time at McDonalds won't hurt... For me it was the "I'm not losing any weight right now, so what's the point?"
Thankfully I never fell completely off :D

Brown Eyed Staccie
06-07-2009, 03:14 PM
What a bunch of smart ladies :) I realize that I am not strong enough to allow myself 'off days'. But I am also not strong enough to say no to a glass of wine or a small piece of chocolate either and completely depriving myself of those things will often lead to a binge. This is tested and true (well for me anyway). I have to stay within my calorie allotment. I don't want to look at food as the enemy. I want to find a way to co-exist :) So if I just have to eat popcorn at the theatre, well I have a small bag not a large bag. If I just have to have a cupcake, I have a mini one not 3 big ones. But I don't want to ever reward myself with food. If I enjoy it, then I'm eating it because I want to, not because I deserve to. I'm also cutting out diet pop as of today as it often makes me crave salty foods and junk food and it's not good for your body anyway. Oh and keep coming on here for tips and advice - it really helps!

the final countdown
06-07-2009, 08:14 PM
Wow so many great advice here as always. I like your "three bites of bliss" synger. Advice I will remeber for later. I think that I need to do as rocking robin adds Not during the LOSING PORTION, especially early on. Maintenance - another story. LOSING portion. Nope. Not taking any chances. Not worth it.