100 lb. Club - The Self-Distruct Button has been engaged...




Inkabetty
06-04-2009, 04:29 AM
I don't know if I am supposed to post this here to this forum. If I posted it wrong, please feel free to delete and tell me.

I have been on this site for awhile and have read alot of what people have written. Most people come here if something major happens in their life and has to do with their weight. Something has happened to me recently and I need some support from other who might understand what I am going through.

ok, here we go...

Three weeks ago I made a trip to California where I thought that I was at last going to meet the love of my life. Me and this guy have been talking for 2 years and never met in person because of situations in both our lives. I found out I was to make a trip there (for different reasons) and immediately told him. We were both elated! We were so excited, planning outings, what we were going to do, how much fun we were going to have, how in love we were. It couldn't have been better.

So I get there and he picks me up. I was so happy. In the car he kept telling me how much he loved me and how he couldn't wait til I moved there.
I decided to make my trip 2 days earlier than planned so we could have some time together before I had to go do what my trip was intended for originally. So we found a beautiful hotel where we were going to spend the weekend.

Things could not have been more perfect! We were intimate, had dinner, talked, etc.
Then....He started acting weird.
Ut oh, I know what that means...

To make a long story short. He goes on to tell me how naive I am, belittles me and tells me that he is not attracted to me. I couldn't believe my ears. This man knew how I looked, sounded, acted, everything. He saw photos, videos, every means possible and he said he was in love with me because of who I am. Obviously that wasn't the case.

He left the hotel that night and never came back leaving me stranded, 2 hours away from my next destination, no idea where I am, having to fend for myself. All because he wasn't attracted to me physically.

If the mind and person not enough anymore?

Now I am depressed and realize how much I need to lose weight because I don't feel worth anything much less able to attract a partner.

Im sorry to ramble but I needed to get it out and hopfully reach someone who knows what Im going through.

Thank you for listening!


Alana in Canada
06-04-2009, 04:41 AM
:hug:

It's very, very late so I hope you will forgive me if I keep this short....but you did not in any way deserve what he did to you. You do not even need to lose weight because of it.
You do not.
Your weight is not the problem here. He was a strange man. A very strange man with problems--and you got caught in the middle of his neurosis.

You are OK--you are a loveable, wonderful human being.

If you want to take some weight off, go ahead. But you don't have to because of this jerk.
:hug:

Rosinante
06-04-2009, 04:44 AM
Well clearly the man's an arse.
And one of those people who somehow think that people they communicate with electronically are not real people whose lives they're messing with. What a sub-human.
I know it's hard to hear but honestly, it's not you it's him. As you say, he knew what you look like, he just couldn't cope with the reality. NOT the reality of you but the reality of reality.

Obviously, I don't know how you came to meet in the first place but forgive me if I suggest that you need to be very, very careful of your own safety in the future. It is so easy, if we think we're overweight - unattractive - whatever (sorry if those are just my hang ups) to fall for someone's spiel/lies/dodgy behaviour. You sound a great, loving person and deserve better.

And congratulations on the 12lbs and the 2 cheering smileys!


Qualera
06-04-2009, 04:46 AM
I'm really sorry this happened to you. I don't have experience in your particular situation, but I can tell you that he's the one with the problem, not you. Regardless of whether he felt physically attracted to you in person, he had absolutely no reason to treat you so badly. The problem is that he is an ***. It has nothing to do with your weight or your value as a person.

You are worthy of being loved for exactly who you are. And for a good man, who you are is far more important than what you look like or what you weight. In this I have experience. I met my husband online in 1996. I weighed about 250. He was about 140. I was afraid to meet him when we finally met in person. He had seen a picture of me from the shoulders up, but that was it. But he loved me and didn't care what I looked like. He says I am beautiful to him no matter what I weigh. There are men like that out there. This I know for sure. I've been married to one for 10 years.

I know it is hard and you are hurting a lot right now. But don't give up. Not all men are like that. What happened to you was awful, but remember it tells you nothing about you, only about him. You are worthy of being loved for who you are. He isn't worthy of you.

Inkabetty
06-04-2009, 04:54 AM
:hug:
Thank you ladies so much. Ever since I got back I have been trying on a daily basis to not let what he did ruin me and my out-look but it is so hard.

I appreciate the kind words! Thank you again.

Starrynight
06-04-2009, 05:03 AM
Hi, I don't usually post on this part of the forums but I just read what happened.
I agree with what everyone said. This person has something really messed up going on in his head for him to be talking to a person for 2 years, telling them he loves them, and then suddenly not only informing them that it is a lie but proceeding to act like as much of an ******* as he can. Serious headcase.
Don't let this get you down even if it is painful, don't analyze yourself over it.

Some people are just jerks and unfortunately sometimes one finds themselves crossing paths with some real ones like this guy, and it isn't your fault.
He just used your being overweight as a quick excuse and a way to dehumanize you. If he truly loved you, I mean, it goes without saying really that he wouldn't have done what he did. And also, if he has seen your pictures and videos, etc for the past two years, and he felt like the weight was the only problem... well if he was truly a good person he would have found a way to address it without leading you on.. Either way, physical hangups aren't usually dealbreakers when you're in love with someone anyway.. So obviously, this guy was just an *******. A real true ***.
I don't know why we have to deal with so many of them, but you can't let him tear yourself down!
Your weight does not make you immune to real love, so don't let yourself think that "If I was thin, this wouldn't happen!" or something along the lines of that, because even if you were, he would have found some other way to beat you down. It wouldn't have made a difference on who he is as a person, especially in relation to you.

I met my current boyfriend online and when I met him, I was almost 200 lbs and had terrible fashion sense (and I mean terrible!), but that never got in the way of things.. and we've been together for 5 years, he has seen my weight go way down and back up. There are people who will love you as you are and support you if you want to lose weight but still love you if you gain.
:hug:
It is painful, I'm sure, but focus on yourself and making yourself happy and don't worry about this jerk!

cb1
06-04-2009, 05:08 AM
He left the hotel that night and never came back leaving me stranded, 2 hours away from my next destination, no idea where I am, having to fend for myself. All because he wasn't attracted to me physically.


No... I don't think that was it. If he saw pics and videos of you before, he could have told you in advance and saved you both the trouble. I'm not sure what his game was, but it had a lot less to do with your weight and more to do with the fact that he was obviously a jerk.

I am very sorry that you went through this! But you know, you are taking positive steps to improve your weight situation. You can change your weight, but inner ugliness like he displayed tends to stick around a lot longer.

:hug: And just keep in mind that this situation wasn't about your weight... plenty of girls have gone through similar situations... just because they just happened to hit the loser jackpot, like I have in the past. I've had men use me and leave me like garbage even when I was thin, I've had a man suddenly belittle me and dump me and say he never wanted to be my boyfriend in the first place, was just using me for sex and now he'd upgraded to another girl! It had nothing to do with my appearance and more to do with the fact that he was a user and a parasite!

Consider it good riddance. You can be a strong, beautiful, powerful, confident woman, regardless of your weight, and don't let this guy be a dark cloud over your life ever! He's not worth the energy it takes to be depressed over it, really. Would you get depressed over a bunch of scum on a pond? Well, no, of course not. And I don't think he's that much higher on the food chain. Do not allow him to bring down your own sense of self-worth, you obviously have much more integrity and honesty than he did, and you DESERVE BETTER than what he offered you. Never, ever think you "deserved" to be treated like that, because you did not!

Inkabetty
06-04-2009, 05:15 AM
he was a user and a parasite!

I like that!

Rainbow
06-04-2009, 06:14 AM
As everyone else has said he's a jerk. Be glad you found that out now - what kind of person would leave you stranded like that. he saw your photos so blaming your weight for his behaviour isn't acceptable. :mad:

Well done on your weight loss - don't let an idiot like him ruin your life. I am sure you will find someone good enough for you which he clearly wasn't. He was the problem not you or anything about you :hug:

JayEll
06-04-2009, 07:26 AM
Dear Inkabetty! :hug: I'm so glad you are OK. A lot of people are playing games out there... You are probably only one of many women that he is stringing along, given how it turned out.

Lesson learned, I hope--which is, always always have a back-up plan. This person is someone that, even though you thought you knew him, you didn't really know. You have to think of your own safety in these situations, regardless of your weight.

Jay

thinpossible
06-04-2009, 07:38 AM
Well, I guess we can be thankful he wasn't a total nutter and didn't beat you up or something worse!

There are lots of women on this board who have significant others who find them attractive regardless of their weight. This man was a total loser. A decent person would not have left you stranded no matter how he felt about your body. Even if you're not attracted to someone, you treat the person with courtesy and respect, and let them down gently. Just be thankful that he showed his true colors right off the bat and spared you further heartbreak. You're well off to be rid of him.
:hug:

GirlyGirlSebas
06-04-2009, 08:22 AM
I am so sorry that he turned out to be such a jerk! You didn't deserve this. It is perfectly normal to feel depressed right now. Give yourself time to work through this, then pick yourself back up and keep going! Lose weight for you and not for some guy. You deserve to be healthy and to feel great.

Couch
06-04-2009, 08:34 AM
I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing to go through. And it must be particularly hard to find out that someone is so incredibly unworthy of you (or any relationship!) after two years of hoping and dreaming and making him part of your life.

I read somewhere that you have to mourn losing the relationship you wanted to have with him. So cry, scream, and be kind to yourself. :hug:

Or you could give us his address, and we'll go round to his place and sort him out for you. :club: There's some pretty fit types on this forum that do kickboxing and the like - and the rest of us can sit on him. Squish.

Devsmama
06-04-2009, 08:41 AM
I'm sorry this happened to you, but consider yourself lucky that something much worse didn't happen. It could be a blessing that this jerk left and didn't say another word. Your great, don't let that ******* make you feel less than human. A real man doesn't care about weight, believe me, I've had more than my fair share at 250lbs! You are valuable, wanted, and loved no matter what that idiot did or said! Pick up the pieces and move on with your life, love will find you! A few videos that I think you should see......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Koj-E-nuK_A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PWunLT7Wgw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhL-CC_OMmE&feature=related

lauralyn
06-04-2009, 09:26 AM
I am really very sorry that this happend to you.

In the grand scheme of things I think you are very lucky he just up and left, he sounds like a very scarey person.

You do not need to lose weight for anyone.....you do what makes YOU happy and healthy and do not worry about what any man thinks. If he thinks badly then he is just not worth your time.

ICUwishing
06-04-2009, 09:56 AM
Angela, sweetheart - this had nothing to do with you. This was a sick weirdo acting out a twisted fantasy - he'd probably rehearsed every minute of this in his head. You will do great things because you are strong and in control. Love yourself, love the journey of health, and you will attract the kind of man who can be your partner. Has NOTHING to do with your weight!!! Keep in mind, as Ron White said in a comedy routine - all this physical stuff is changeable. But stupid (and mean) is FOREVER. :hug:

iaradajnos
06-04-2009, 10:11 AM
Inkabetty:
I wanted to add my own words of support. I work on issues around this issue and have a couple thoughts to share.

First, you actually show your own depth because of your own ability to see amazing things in people and reach out. You seem to have such great sensitivity and warmth. Second, this other person is very much a sick person who seeks out and takes advantage of the good in others. Third, unfortunately, for many reasons, folks who are are sensitive and warm don't want to think it's his weirdness that is at fault but turn it inward.

I'm not the best at remembering quotes but there are certainly many out there that say it's not the trials we will be judged by but by getting up afterwards. I believe that wisdom only comes from experiences that help us to see the depth and breath of our world's humanity--the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Focus on yourself--you can be what you want to be. I remember when I was a kid with my school marching band visiting a big underground cavern in Kentucky. The guide told us that she "always hit her mark" when she was about to throw a huge torch in to a darkened area to show us the topography. She lit the torch and threw it as far as she could then said "yeah, I hit it exactly where I planned" (though she never told us in advance where she was going to throw).

Pick your target and throw. You CAN make your goals--step by step.

Peace.

Jennelle
06-04-2009, 10:13 AM
I'm so glad you weren't hurt physically! That's just so scary!

That's not to belittle the fact that being hurt emotionally can hurt just like getting punched in the face. And I'm going to echo what everyone else says: It's not your fault the guy was a jerk. Cry with your girlfriends for a few days over your bruised ego, and then pick yourself up 'cause he's not worth A MINUTE MORE of your tears and time! :hug:

I've heard there are websites where you can post warnings about internet Lotharios like him...sometimes revenge is the best medicine! :lol:

Lori Bell
06-04-2009, 10:28 AM
I bet you a million the jerk is married and was having an emotional affair with you. Once he crossed the line from emotional to physical he freaked out and bagged you the quickest way possible... in a way you wouldn't be tempted to look him up and try to get back. I'd bet the farm this a-hole has a wife and kids.

PS: I'm really sorry this guy hurt you. I have ways of finding out things...if you want to PM his name and birthday, I can tell you in a few minutes if he's married. ;) Not that it really matters now, since you are moving on to a better place :hug:

Thighs Be Gone
06-04-2009, 10:33 AM
What an absolutely HORRIFIC ordeal you have been through. I am so, so very sorry that he was such a jerk. What a flake! Is there any chance this guy was married? He sounds very suspicious. Why would he do that?

Hugs are coming to you this morning my friend!

Thighs Be Gone
06-04-2009, 10:34 AM
I think you should post a warning about him on Craigslist in his hometown.

p.s. I so agree this has nothing to do with you or your weight. It had everything to do with this guy being twisted and disgusting.

farmgirl931
06-04-2009, 10:46 AM
Ugggg this is a jerky thing for him to do... However, I've herd storys like this time and time again. I've done tons of internet dating, find someone close to you. These long distance things don't work and usually end in heart ache because one or the other is not attracted to each other or maybe don't get along inperson, etc. This guys is a class A jerk, it's not you it's him. Your better off without him and he's not worth your time. I'm heavy and I still manage to find guys that do get interested in me. My husband is very attractive and skinny and I couldn't figure out what the **** he wanted with me, but we've been together 3 years and have a little girl. Our relationship is far from perfect though. It's easy to have long distance relationships because you don't have to truely interact with them day in and day out. I know, i've done my fair share of them, then when it comes doen to truely being together it never worked. keep you chin up, you are beautiful in your own way and there is someone out there that will feel the same. Unfortunatley we have to go through all the a$$holes to find them. Good luck.

chickiegirl
06-04-2009, 10:57 AM
He left the hotel that night and never came back leaving me stranded, 2 hours away from my next destination, no idea where I am, having to fend for myself. All because he wasn't attracted to me physically.

If the mind and person not enough anymore?

Now I am depressed and realize how much I need to lose weight because I don't feel worth anything much less able to attract a partner.

I REALLY, REALLY don't think this guy's main issue was not being attracted to you physically. That may have been part of it. Could have been a big part of it. But the fact he's a class-A jerk is a much bigger part of it.

Don't ever think you can't attract someone of quality just because you weigh more. Yes, physical attraction does come into it. It may be easier to find a partner if you are slim. But don't you dare doom yourself to a life of dipsticks like this because you don't feel you deserve better. YOU DO. PERIOD.

As for this one. Man, two years is a long time. I have no explanation or theory other than the fact that he is a selfish jerk and although it might be ripping you apart now, you are really soooo much better off without this one.

Hang in there. :hug:

Betony
06-04-2009, 11:04 AM
I agree that this wasn't because of your weight, regardless of what the man (and I use that term loosely) may have said to you. I've been in a situation similar to this -- talked to a guy for a very long time long-distance, went to visit, and he freaked out at the last minute and left. Turns out he had a girlfriend for most of the time that we were chatting it up, and when he met me he bumped up against his own guilt -- guilt that he was stringing me along, guilt that he was at the very least emotionally involved with someone other than his girlfriend, and he took that guilt out on me by acting in a way that was (in my opinion) vicious and stupid. He explained later, but I never responded -- life is too short to waste time on people who can't be real.

I'm sorry that you went through this, but don't take the blame for things not working out. You had high hopes, and it turns out that the guy was far less than you deserve. Learn from it, and move on. There's much better out there, and you deserve the best. Don't forget it. ;)

DCHound
06-04-2009, 11:20 AM
Oh he was totally married. Has absolutely nothing to do with you my dear. Block him, don't let him apologize if his sick twisted fantasy life becomes appealing to him again. Unfortunately I can't type out the names I'd really like to call him. You are a beautiful woman inside and out and don't waste another second worrying about him!!

stillclock
06-04-2009, 11:29 AM
hi.

nightmarish eh?

i too would bet on him being married or a serial game player. doesn't make you feel any less wretched, i know.

but here. i have a bag o' baby carrots and some homie made hummus. and good strong shoulders. we'll sit and munch in quiet companionship for a bit hey?

isolde

kiramira
06-04-2009, 11:39 AM
Hi there!
This has nothing nothing NOTHING to do with your weight or your appearance. This was an excuse. Pure and simple.

The same thing happened to me. Seriously. I met a guy, in person, had a really intense but CELIBATE relationship for 4 weeks, he went back home, we hooked up again 3 months later. I travelled on his invitation to his hometown to stay with him -- no worries, he said -- we just need to get to know each other better before becoming intimate...I was on a tight budget. I saved up. I went.

In the intervening 3 months between our first meet and our second, I LOST significant weight and I looked hot. We got together, he said I looked hot. We continued our CELIBATE relationship, no problems. 5 days into it, he said that I was fat, ugly, unattractive, and since I wouldn't "put out" I had to leave his home right NOW. Not that he would touch my "ugly A**" but I clearly was far below his "standards". It was 10 pm. I had enough cash to catch a cab to a motel, and enough for motel costs until I could get out of there (that night and the next night). But I had exactly $2.50 to get me through the next day and a half. I couldn't change my ticket without a huge fee and I didn't have the money! I had enough for the motel and that was it.
I had no credit cards and literally no money in the bank. And I was too embarrased to phone anyone for help...

Totally humliating. Totally soul-destroying. But really, it made me stronger. Because this wasn't about ME but about CONTROL. And I never, ever put myself in that situation again.

You will get through this. Just don't take your anger out on yourself...

:hug:

Kira

kaplods
06-04-2009, 11:39 AM
I bet you a million the jerk is married and was having an emotional affair with you. Once he crossed the line from emotional to physical he freaked out and bagged you the quickest way possible... in a way you wouldn't be tempted to look him up and try to get back. I'd bet the farm this a-hole has a wife and kids.


This was my first guess as well.

My sister and many of my friends have dating horror storries. These are women who are attractive, mostly confident women, mostly not overweight.

I have a few minor weirdos in my past, myself - but fewer than most of my friends, even at nearly 400 lbs. I think my better track record, is only because I've always been very picky - I'd rather be alone than with someone who is bad for me, and I guess I never blamed anyone's bad behavior on me.

Obviously he was VERY attracted to you, but didn't want to be - that's not your problem.

What you can do, is be choosier. I'm not saying you did anything wrong - but when you have the attitude that you're looking for someone good enough for your amazing self, bad behavior on a man's part doesn't reflect on you. He's the jerk, he's the idiot, it's HIS loss. You'll also be more likely to spot the signs of a jerk, before they occur (but some guys are just very skilled at hiding their jerkitude as long as they're getting what they want).

Unfortunately, there is no way at any weight, or level of gorgeousness to prevent jerks from entering your life. Look at some of the celebrity dating horror storries.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, and there are some pretty great ones. I do think that if you think of yourself as the fisherman rather than as the fish, it isn't quite as painful to be "thrown back." It's more like snagging on the line of another fisherman - you didn't want to "keep him" anyway. It was a hard way to find that out, but it definitely says far, far more about him than you.

Trazey34
06-04-2009, 11:56 AM
WOW, I want to smash women in the head sometimes -- a creep 'is intimate' with you and THEN dumps you, leaves you stranded in a hotel room miles from where you need to be in a different city, wastes 2 years of your life, AND YOU'RE CRYING THAT THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU???????????????????????????????????? WTF????????????????? Good lord girlie, I'm sorry this happened and all the soft fluffy things everyone's saying, and glad the creep JUST left you when he could have chopped you up and put you in his trunk, BUT COME ON, the guy was a loser! You're older and wiser now, and that's that. It's not like you pretended to be Cindy Crawford or something, he knew what you looked like, so obviously the guy's a creep. End of story. No need to lose weight to prove you're worth NOT BEING TREATED LIKE CRAP! everyone is, no matter what size or shape. Don't let this a$$hole steal even MORE from you - don't let him steal your confidence and self-worth, that would be even more horrifying!!!! Be sad for a while, sure, but don't wallow in it - it's a crappy thing that's happened to hundreds of people i'm sure in this day and age, there are predators everywhere!!!

lose weight for your OWN sake, not to prove something or you'll fail fail fail and feel even worse about yourself!!!

WOW i used a lot of !!!!!! points LOL sorry, but I've got a touch of rage-a-hol right now!

ICUwishing
06-04-2009, 01:23 PM
Reminded of a thing my girlfriend told me her therapist told her after her divorce. I'll try to recall it as close as I can. "Everybody has something they don't like. Let's say, it's carrots. They don't like carrots. It has nothing to do with the carrot at all. It's just their opinion and taste. So when you're rejected, it's a similar thing - it has nothing to do with you - it's just that you're their "carrots". Move on - because somewhere out there is someone who LOVES carrots." Terribly simple ... and it might appear that I am excusing his behavior (I am so TOTALLY not - I think that ought to be a jailable offense) but maybe that perspective might click with somebody. :carrot:

AtlGirl
06-04-2009, 01:34 PM
Everything all the ladies have said above me.

This has NOTHING to do with you. This guy is the type of guy mothers warn their daughters about. Chances are he was married and his guilt caught up to him. I hope to God you realize how much off a jerk this guy is and realize it has nothing to do with him.

Don't try and loose the weight because of this situation. Don't let his dishonest words about your body motivate you. If you want to become healthier then do it for you. Be thankful you came out unharmed and let this be a warning to all those who begin online relationships with men online. You only see the part of that person that the person wants you to see.

I've seen many successful online relationships but please, go into it was caution.

futuresurferchick
06-04-2009, 02:21 PM
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I agree with what all the others have said--this is not about you! He's a scary, predatory, a--hole. I think you will need support for a while to move on from this, and 3FC can be a great place for that.

Sunrose
06-04-2009, 02:29 PM
I agree that this has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!!! If you do not lose weight, there are loving, kind, wonderful men who would be honored to be with you!!! My hubby knew me when I was 270, we got married when I was around 240 or 250 and he loves me no matter what size I am, and he is AWESOME!!!

You didn't do anything to deserve this. I am sure this guy was married like some of the others have said. You deserve the same treatment as someone who weight 120 pounds. Do not ever settle for anything less.

If you do decide to lose weight, do it for yourself! Do it for your health and your life and YOUR OWN REASONS. You are awesome!!! :hug:

Inkabetty
06-04-2009, 08:49 PM
Or you could give us his address, and we'll go round to his place and sort him out for you. :club: There's some pretty fit types on this forum that do kickboxing and the like - and the rest of us can sit on him. Squish.

Riverside, California, his name is Curtis!! lol

Thank you for this, it made me chuckle and I needed that! :hug:

Inkabetty
06-04-2009, 08:53 PM
Thank you for sharing these videos. They really hit home and help! **hugs**

Inkabetty
06-04-2009, 09:14 PM
Wow, you ladies are AWESOME!!!

Thank you all so much for pointing things out that I honestly never thought of and can't believe I didn't think of.

You all are right. He could have hacked me up and hid me from the world.

This happened a few weeks ago and so much has gone through my head. NEVER and I repeat NEVER will I go such a long distance to meet someone. If they want to meet me so bad, they can come here. I'm not doing that to myself again.

I lost weight before all this happened because I need to for medical reasons, that's what I need to focus on again.

I LOVE and adore this community. Thank you all again so much!!!

kiramira
06-04-2009, 09:18 PM
You'll SO get through this!!!
And you'll be much much stronger for this.

Kira

CLCSC145
06-04-2009, 10:33 PM
Don't you wish that character building learning experiences didn't have to be so painful? I think you did a great thing by talking about what happened. It would have been very easy to label it "humiliating" and lock it away. But by sharing with us, I hope you can see that you have nothing to be humiliated or embarrassed about. He's the sociopathic creep. There is nothing wrong with you. You learned that you are worthy of someone better, someone that loves you no matter your size. You learned that you deserve to be (and should be) more protective of who you give your heart to - not everyone guy is deserving of it. You learned that you don't need to lose weight for anyone but you. And you learned that support in any form is better than going through it alone.

You are going to be okay... :hug:

ADD Girl
06-05-2009, 12:17 PM
My friend had a similar experience. The man was telling her that she is love of his life and so on. And did the same thing. After a weekend together he told her she is fat, and that hi is not attracted to her and so on. (To explain-they had sex a few times that weekend!!!). He said that she is ugly, not interesting e.t.c.

And you know what? HE WOLUD DO IT TO ANY GIRL IN HER PLACE. EVEN A MODEL!!! Keep that in mind!

Why? Because he is mentally ill and that is his way to feel dominant over women and to feel good about himself. He enjoy the fantasy and feeling loved by a women and than he is the one who can go away from a woman. Probably he was mistreated by some women before.

My advice to you is that you have to realize that it does not have any connection to you, your looks or whatever. NOTHING! And my best advice is DO NOT CONTACT HIM IN ANY WAY EVER because you will just feed his sick mind and not have any results from his side.

Be smart and forget that poor man. And trust me - he needs medical help, not you. You just have to loose weight and that is easier! OK?

ADD Girl
06-05-2009, 12:20 PM
Try to be open anyway. I had a friend that met a guy over internet, left a boyfrend that she sholud merry and merry the man from the internet. They have 2 kidds and she is the happiest girl in the world. And with the first one she was kind of depressed girl. So...there are allways good and bad examples, try to be open in future

scarletmeshell
06-05-2009, 12:37 PM
Everyone is right here! They only thing I wish to add is we should all go kick his ***!