20-Somethings - We All Have Issues
06-04-2009, 12:17 AM
A good portion of my friends are models (and another portion of them could be if they wanted to), and you know what I realized? Even my most beautiful, seemingly flawless friends—even the ones who have perfect size 2 bodies and who every guy adores—has issues. Most will come off to everyone as confident, but when you get to know them (anyone!), they think their thighs are fat, or that their hips are weird, or that guys only want them for what they look like, or that their not smart enough, or that they might lose a job if they don't lose 5 pounds. Even the girls who you look at and think, there is no way that that girl has issues, does!
And you know what? I'm not as a pretty as them. I'm not as skinny. I don't have a great body. And having all those things will never solve everything (as I have often told myself). I realize that I have something some of my "perfect"-looking friends don't. I love me. And my worth has nothing to do with what I look like. My body doesn't define me.
06-04-2009, 12:23 AM
Well put! I'm not a 20-something (not by a long shot!) but I have a 23 yo daughter who basically thinks the way that you do... she's happy with who she is. I only wish that I had had that kind of confidence when I was her age!
06-04-2009, 11:06 AM
You're absolutely right.
I'm kind of glad that I've been fat in my life though... I kinda think it helped me work on my personality a bit more than most girls would. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking.... ;)
Since I've been skinny(ier) and big(ger)..... I've noticed that life problems come with every weight..... being big just makes that one of life's problems at the time.
06-04-2009, 11:15 AM
Starfish, I agree. My looks have never been my selling point (overweight, bad acne, super hairy with a sweating problem... oh yeah, sexy was my middle name, lol) and so I always was working on my personality during my teens- trying to be a nicer, happier, better person. Now that I am finally getting my physical appearance together, I feel like I have a better sense of who I am on the inside, and I kinda contribute that to my weight struggles all throughout my life. Not only that, but my husband fell in love with me while I was at my ugliest... seriously, I was one ugly little duckling. But the fact that he still loved me and thought I was beautiful and could see past all of my many physical imperfections.. that's how I knew he was the one. He really cared more about my inside than my outside- and that in itself gave me an edge. No guy interested in just a one-night-stand was gonna touch me with a ten foot pole.
Notasthin- you are right. I have had friends who were thin thin thin and GORGEOUS... and they were never happy enough with their appearance. Honestly, I think society sets unrealistic goals for most young women to attain, and it doesn't matter who you are, if you are comparing yourselves to others, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. There is always going to be someone thinner, prettier, smarter, richer, funnier, and more popular than me... lol, and when I realized that I just have to accept me and love me for who I am, and stop comparing myself to others... things just all kinda clicked into place.
06-12-2009, 11:01 AM
Well said. :)
06-12-2009, 11:16 AM
it doesn't matter who you are, if you are comparing yourselves to others, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Thank you! We all know this, but it helps to say it out loud. It's not easy, but the more it's reinforced, the better.
I know that I will always have issues no matter what weight I am, so instead of focusing on a body part to hate, why not focus on one to love? I have huge hips. Dropping 20lbs will not change that, so why not start loving my womanly hips now and be the happier for it?
06-12-2009, 02:20 PM
So so true! Great realization and thanks for sharing! :)
06-12-2009, 03:59 PM
LittleMoonRabbit ... thank you for that comment. SO TRUE!!