100 lb. Club - What have you given up because of your weight? 93 lbs challenge.

06-03-2009, 09:04 PM

06-03-2009, 09:14 PM
I know some people don't let their weight stop them from anything,and I think that is great!Unfortunately that is not me.
It stopped me from trips to the beach.{I love the beach}
Interviews for a better job
Going in certain nightclubs w/friends
Eating in some restaurants
Certain types of clothing. I am tired of hiding under big shirts & sweaters
But none of this made me stick to a plan?

Hello Nurse
06-03-2009, 09:28 PM
I have given up riding horses, which is my passion. I have owned horses since I was 12, and I have not ridden regularly for most of my adult life due to my weight. When I do ride, I ride western rather than english, which I prefer, because the english saddles are tiny and I feel ridiculous. I have 4 horses, but none I can ride at this moment. One of mine is retired from riding, two are just babies (5 mos.) and the 4th is just now being trained under saddle.

When my trainer is finished with my horse (about 2 months), I will have NO MORE EXCUSES! I want to be down as much as possible by then and get my bum back in the saddle!

We can do this - we have so much to live for and we deserve to live life to it's fullest! Let's keep each other going!

06-03-2009, 09:47 PM
I understand completely. I use to be an extremely confident person but it's very difficult when you have so much excess weight. I've given up too many things to count but a short list includes rollercoasters (which I LOVE), keeping a current wardrobe, *cough* an active sex life with my husband *cough*, volunteering for certain school events for my step-daughter where there would be a lot of people, keeping in contact with old friends and the list could go on.

06-03-2009, 09:52 PM
I gave up riding horses. That is the BIG ONE. I can't WAIT to get back on a horse! It's my 200 lb lost present to myself. The day that I hit 177 I'm going riding!

06-03-2009, 10:05 PM
I feel like I've given up my entire life since I gained weight :(. Its been so gradual, I guess I just didn't notice. I no longer can/will wear the cute clothes I used to, I hate being out in public because I feel like everyone is looking/making comments (which is crazy), I'm tired all the time, I used to love to ride my bike but I'm too embarassed. I feel like my lack of self esteem is damaging my kid's lives as well, because I can't fully offer them the best mother I can be. The list goes on and on and on......

I'm with you -- time to get my life back. But it's important to not put everything off until I lose the weight, so as slow as the weight comes off, I will also learn to rebuild my character as well :)

06-03-2009, 10:06 PM
I, too, admire people who don't let their weight get in the way of living their lives. Low self-esteem because of my weight has been a big problem for me unfortunately. I've done all the things you mentioned: lying to get out of having to see people who haven't seen me in a while, not doing things because I literally didn't have any clothes that fit to wear, avoiding places where I worry there are is a great possibility of running into someone I know.

So, yeah, the fear of judgment has kept me from a lot of social events. I am not proud of that at all. I also think it has kept me from seeking out a relationship. My dad has been incredibly hurtful to my mom about her weight over the years to the point where I just assume that all men hate fat women even though I see relationships that seem to defy that "logic" at times.

Then there are the physical things I've given up because I just am not able to keep up with my friends or do all the things they do. These would be a travel destinations that involve lots of walking in the heat or long plane trips in a tiny coach seat.

I'm tired of being limited or limiting myself based on the weight, on what people will think, on what I can fit into, on what I can physically do. My greatest wish is to get myself to a point where I never have to worry about those things ever again.

06-03-2009, 10:06 PM
I hadn't given up much because I didn't HAVE much throughout my earlier years of obesity. So maybe what I gave up was my FREEDOM. You know, the freedom to try new things. To get out there and do those wild things people try. Like scuba diving. Like rock climbing. And I gave up the "permission" to dress well and look good -- I schlumped around in sweats and tees for years because I didn't think I "deserved" to look good.



Alana in Canada
06-03-2009, 10:21 PM
I haven't always been overweight. I can remember what life was like when I was slim.

I was strong. Physically strong. I didn't need to ask for help, ever. I've given up my strength and my dignity, both.
(Today I had to look on the bottom shelf of the fridge for pickles for my husband's supper. I had to call him--and with his help AND a chair, I could get back up again. I hate it.)

Bad habits plus pain in my feet, knees and back brought me to this weight--and by choosing to stay here and not do anything about it, I gave up my self-respect, I gave up my sense of self-worth.

But I'm reclaiming it, now! I deserve to make the effort to live the best I can (even if it won't be 100% pain free. But maybe it will be. We won't know until we get there!)

Great question. Thanks.

Lady from Joppa
06-03-2009, 10:42 PM
I completely understand how you feel. I too have given up things because of my weight. Buying new clothes because I don't feel I deserve them. Flying because I might hang over the arm rest or worse pass out because the seat belt is killing me. Going places for fear that others may comment on how I look. Swimming because I don't want to be in a swimsuit. Horseback riding cause I am just too fat. I have even given up letting my husband even try to pick me up because I am afraid he might get hurt. I out weigh him by almost 80lbs.

I am glad to see you say, NO MORE. I too say that. I will no longer allow my fear of situations because of my size/weight keep me from living my life. Way to go!

06-03-2009, 10:43 PM
I've given up more than I can begin to list. Such as clothes with normal sizes, high heels, sexy lingerie, and bathing suits. Swimming, amusement parks, dancing, or anything that puts my body into uncomfortable situations where people might stare at me.

I'm so stinking sick of myself and I have to get this weight off.

06-03-2009, 11:30 PM
I've given up going to theme parks because of their weight restrictions, I don't swim in public places, I'm afriad to take dance lessons because and I also shy away from cute clothing because they wouldn't look good on me anyway. =/ I don't want to draw attention at all.

Good luck with your journey though!!

06-03-2009, 11:48 PM
At my highest weight I wouldn't fly home to see my family whom I hadn't seen in a year because I was afraid to fly. I stayed in a job I despised for four years because I was too fat to buy an interview suit and too tired and depressed to look for another job. Lots of things like that.

06-04-2009, 12:22 AM
hey sweetie!

Welcome and well done for wanting to make a change. It's always difficult at the start when you think about where you need to go but just remember why you are doing this and remember that rome wasnt built in a day. You have to conquer each day as it comes and slowley those will turn into weeks, months and before you know it, you will be maintaining!

We are all here to support you and wish you the veyr best of luck!

06-04-2009, 01:56 AM
I know some people say that weight shouldn't stop them from doing anything. But I found that next to impossible. No make that impossible. MANY, MANY things were out of the question because of my size and my activity level and my lack of stamina. It had nothing to do with the fact that I LET it stop me - it DID stop me.

Oh gosh. What a long list that would be for me. I don't even think I'm aware of all that I gave up.

For starters though, I gave up -

-my self respect
-and probably (no definitely) the respect of others
-tons of photo opportunities. My photo albums look as if my family is without a mother 99.999% of the time
-roller blading, roller skating, ice skating
-long romantic walks
-more interaction with my children, family and friends
-horseback riding
-rides at disney
-vacations and travel
-going on an airplane
-career opportunities
-nights out with friends
-days out with friends
-the beach, parks, zoos
-the absolute joy of clothing
-my femininity
-setting a good example for my children
-being the best mom that I could be
-the chance to have a scar and mar free body - think excess skin and stretch marks
-peace of mind
-happiness, joy, pleasure, laughter, fun

This list doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. Not even close. :(

06-04-2009, 01:24 PM
When I was at my highest weight of 250 lbs. I used to make all kinds of excuses not to do some things like going to the beach (and I lived in RI so it was close enough to walk to!) or doing active things like going for a bike ride or playing softball. I also wanted to learn to snowboard but avoided that for the longest time because of my weight. I even avoided being outside in the beautiful summer months because it was hot and I didn't want to have to be seen in a tank top or shorts.

Now, although I'm not yet at goal, I feel comfortable enough to do all those things (except the beach I still haven't gotten over....I'll go but I won't be in a bathing suit!) and I welcome pretty much any opportunity to get out there and be active, even if I have to wear (gasp!) shorts and this past winter I bought a snowboard and started to learn! :D

06-04-2009, 03:33 PM
I haven't given a lot up (because I didn't have it to begin with) but there are things I would love to do such as wearing a bathing suit (haven't done since I was a kid!), cute gym clothes. I would love to fly in a plane comfortably or even go skydiving some day! I would also love to do a tandem glider flight but my weight right now is too high for that. I would also love to be able to buy some designer clothes/jeans. I have a lot of handbags to somewhat compensate for this but I want the fabulous wardrobe to go with.

06-04-2009, 03:40 PM
OH MY! Please stop giving up things TODAY! Life is not waiting to be lived, you are living it now! You are beautiful women with big hearts and personalities.

Here is my story and some of you know. I came out of my closet with my Eating Disorder back a few years ago. I kept trying to make peace with the food while still dieting. It didn't work. So I embraced the food and said I am going to eat myself happy.

Well this doesn't work either but while I balloned up to 267 lbs I found out some things. Like maybe when I take all the focus off food and just live I CAN! I started taking dance, wearing sexy lingerie (even to a burlesque show!), and going with the attitude like HERE I AM AND I AM CUTE!

Close to 30 lbs fell off me without even trying. Then OH MY! Tragedy AGAIN! I blew my knee running on the beach IN A BATHING SUIT! And I let it get to me a bit and ran back up to 250.

When I decided to move again it was because I had to this is who I am. I am beautiful and fun and happy.

Some days I try to run back to the food to hide from emotional stuff its been a hard year with the divorce, the change in careers, and my baby is turning 18. Most days though, I win. I make the healthy choice. I have a partner that helps me with that. And either way I am living, because God only gaurantees one day, and its this one. So you better embrace it, because tommorow may not come.

06-04-2009, 04:27 PM
OH MY! Please stop giving up things TODAY! Life is not waiting to be lived, you are living it now! You are beautiful women with big hearts and personalities.

I'm sorry, but when I was 287 lbs at only 5 feet tall, there WERE many things I was FORCED to give up. Peace of mind for starters. You just can't have that when you are MORBIDLY obese, as in your very weight puts you at risk for imminent death. And then of course there's all the physical limitations.

Maybe, as you say, I was living my life *now*. But barely. I certainly wasn't living up to my full potential.

06-04-2009, 04:37 PM
When you weigh almost 400 lbs giving up certain things really isn't a choice. It isn't like I could have chose to run on a beach ~ no running. Heck walking was enough of a challenge.

Certainly there are things I could do, but choose not to, at this weight, like dating, which I guess I *could* do, but I honestly would rather wait to be closer to goal, because if I'm uncomfortable with my appearance then I won't have the self-confidence I need to do it successfully and fun-ly (I know that's not a word :) ).

But there are certain weights and health situations where you HAVE TO, or virtually have to, give stuff up. Some of it's a choice and some of it's not. I am so glad I CHOSE to give up being super morbidly obese though! That was a choice I made and every day I reap more and more benefits from it.

Alana in Canada
06-04-2009, 04:38 PM
I think it's a good idea to acknowledge the limitations that being fat imposes. A lot of these things are choices--(such as feeling unattractive. I really don't HAVE to dress like a slob. That's a choice)--but some aren't. Not to feel anxiety when you are morbidly obese is to be in denial.

But, on the other hand, you can't beat yourself up and expect to be motivated in any long term way. Long term motivation for change comes from that part of you that says, I"m worth living a life without the limitations imposed by my weight."

Making and maintaining change comes from love, not hate. And yeah, fortunately, you can improve your relationship with yourself!

06-04-2009, 04:41 PM
the only thing ive really given up is wearing nice clothes...im always in tshirts and shorts...one of my goals is to by an outfit just like the mannequin is wearing...all put together from head to toe...i also want a good leather jacket...when it comes down to it all we have is our body so its time to treat it right

06-04-2009, 05:02 PM
I'm sorry, but when I was 287 lbs at only 5 feet tall, there WERE many things I was FORCED to give up. Peace of mind for starters. You just can't have that when you are MORBIDLY obese, as in your very weight puts you at risk for imminent death. And then of course there's all the physical limitations.

Maybe, as you say, I was living my life *now*. But barely. I certainly wasn't living up to my full potential.

But you made a choice to embrace the day and make a change, going down to your 120's was a one day at a time venture. Its the day and not holding yourself under your fat and saying I can't, I won't live this day to the fullest.

06-04-2009, 05:05 PM
Can't get this out of my head.

OH MY! Please stop giving up things TODAY!

Upon thinking about this some more - you are 100% right. STOP GIVING UP THINGS TODAY - That's what I SHOULD have told myself for the over 20+ years that I was morbidly obese - STOP GIVING UP THINGS TODAY - don't waste another minute of this precious life - STOP SETTLING FOR SECOND BEST WHEN FIRST BEST WAS WELL WITHIN MY REACH. STOP GIVING UP THINGS TODAY - and get healthy and be all that you can be.

06-04-2009, 05:07 PM
Can't get this out of my head.

Upon thinking about this some more - you are 100% right. STOP GIVING UP THINGS TODAY - That's what I SHOULD have told myself for the over 20+ years that I was morbidly obese - STOP GIVING UP THINGS TODAY - don't waste another minute of this precious life - STOP SETTLING FOR SECOND BEST WHEN FIRST BEST WAS WELL WITHIN MY REACH. STOP GIVING UP THINGS TODAY - and get healthy and be all that you can be.

YES! And I will be a normal weight, I will do it one day, one slip, one imperfect moment at a time but I am going to taste and live all of it. I want to be healthy so I will be.

3 years to be down 51 pounds and little setbacks in between, so 3 more years? So what today I ride my bike and I can FLY!

06-04-2009, 05:11 PM
One has to believe they are worth it and they deserve it before they can do it. (Psst ~ it's OK to fake it if you don't feel it yet! :) )

06-04-2009, 05:47 PM
Im right there with you ladies. A few years ago I developed anxiety and i am on meds because of it. I think has A LOT to do with my weight if not all of it. Im high school I was popular and not skinny but healthy. I looked good for my body type. Now I feel like a big donut with gross filling lol.

06-04-2009, 05:55 PM
Photo Oppotunities - I tend to shy away from the camera realising that people might see the picture and that makes me feel a little uncomfortable and embarrassed. I would love to get more family photo's of me and financee to put up in our house and I will definitely after I have reached my goal and I feel comfortable with myself.

06-04-2009, 06:18 PM
I gave up on loving myself for a time....this lead me to limit just about everything I did and didn't even want to try to push myself.

Needless to say I *love* myself....and that really started again the day I decided I was too good to let myself live life at that weight. :)

06-04-2009, 06:31 PM
I grew up obese so life for me was a bit different than others who didn't. I am often surprised what people say they don't do because of their weight.

At my heighest weight:
Swam/wore bathing suit
Went snorkeling
Wore shorts
Wore short sleeves/tank tops
Saw my doctor for regular checkups
Travelled internationally
"lights on" policy (that is all I'll say about that :) )
Exercised included walking/hiking multiple miles
Went to college/got a degree
Got a good job at a respected corporation

I imagine the reason is that is the life I knew and I never imagined myself losing weight so I had no reason to 'wait' until I lost weight.

The only thing I really didn't have was self respect and I really had to turn that on and force myself to love myself BEFORE I could lose weight. Once I did that, I started losing weight and have maintained (almost all*) my weight loss. (* I am about 10 lbs above my lowest weight)

06-04-2009, 06:32 PM
....and that really started again the day I decided I was too good to let myself live life at that weight. :)

Very well said, we deserve better than this. :)

06-04-2009, 08:08 PM
Well said Nellie!

I've also been large my whole life and I like to think I've never let it stand in my way. I went to Japan at almost 300 lbs and I never saw anybody look at me any weirder than they looked at my 120 lbs American friends. On the shortest leg of the trip back I had to use a belt extender for the only time in my life but you know what, they were super nice about it. I hate to say it but I think most of these problems aren't in our waists and thighs they're in our heads and hearts. If you can't love yourself at 250 can you love yourself at 150 and if so what's the basis of that love? Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.

Now having said that I do avoid pictures but that has nothing to do with my size and everything to do with the odd expressions the camera seems to capture. Gah I always look like I'm crazy even if I don't know anybody is taking my picture. I've never photographed well even as a child :P

Edit: Actually I will say that yes at my size I wouldn't go horse back riding for the sake of the poor horse and at my largest there were some amusement park rides I couldn't fit though some I could.

06-04-2009, 08:53 PM
I have been a rather large girl my entire life but I can't really say, I ever let it inhibit me from enjoying life. Believe me, I did..over and over again. I never really saw myself as obese. I guess if anything, being over weight my entire life simply gave me a false sense of reality. Although, it was MY reality and I really did enjoy it. ;)

06-05-2009, 08:08 AM
Wow, its amazing to see how similar all of these posts are. I too have given up:
The beach
Eating in resteraunts (I feel like everyone would stare at every bite I ate)
Amusment parks (Cant fit in the damn seats)
Cloths shopping (I feel like such a cow)
I avoid parties and family gatherings
I miss dating! I havent been asked out in forever!
Speaking of which, remember when sex was fun???

It's a huge list. I've given up so much I don't even think about it anymore. I just feel like everyone is secretly thinking, EWWW she's gross!

I swear that when this weight comes off, I will do my best to make every overweight persoin I see feel confident about themselves, even if it's just a small compliment on their hair, skin, cloths . . .

I know it would have helped me!

06-05-2009, 01:14 PM
I'm sure there are things that I've given up but also things I never had and discovered after I found someone who loved me for me but then the weight did eventually get in the way. I've alwasy been big and just got bigger. Also there are things I haven't given up because I was just too afraid to try them or too embarrassed.

But also since I first started this back in Nov 2005, I had a taste of that confidence and felt so strong and I've been battling to get that back. I think I'm finally there. Plus, becoming an advocate for my boys gives me confidence as well. I'm going to be taking a workshop for it in Nov.

06-05-2009, 04:18 PM
going swimming
summers....too hot while fat
stylish clothes
stylish shoes
bold and daring s*x
eye contact
self respect (like RokinRobin)
going back to school (too fat for the chairs)
group activities
keeping warm in the winter cause my coat wont zip up
My inner self

Arctic Mama
06-06-2009, 12:52 AM
Having been fat (not just a little overweight) since I was 16, I missed out on so many little things I hadn't even realized I'd been avoiding, but it is since having kids that I am realizing all the huge things I am missing, like playing easily with my babies on the floor, or leaving the house with them. I am ij almost no family pictures and I loathe how I look in the ones I AM in! My husband, kids, and myself all deserve a confident, healthy me. It took man years, but I finally have the right plan and the truest motivation I have ever had, and I am beating this disease every good choice I make.

Meggie Girl
06-06-2009, 03:00 AM

It's amazing how so many of these posts could be describing me - it is scary. I have been to college have a dip teach. Hate teaching. Changed jobs - Secretary. Now mum with three teenage children.

The main things I miss are quality time with my family and friends. The kids are so energetic. I live 600km from where I grew up but I seldom visit friends when I go home because I feel they will judge me harshly for the weight I've put on. I don't know how or why I allowed myself to get so big but I am in control now and will get rid of the horrid burden.

Horse riding, well I haven't done that since I was in my twenties, thought I was too heavy for him - yes grew up in the country had my own horse.

Clothes. Now most women love to shop and when I was slim I went shopping frequently. Shoes, hand bags, clothes. At the moment, I hate it. Clothes that would fit the lounge better than they fit me, Arm/sleeves that are just too tight, rubbish material. Shoes that would be better on a horse.

I think the worst thing about gaining so much weight without finding the hand brake is that you develop such a nasty opinion of yourself and that then flows onto other people. There have been times when I have been so rotten towards my hubby (and he didn't deserve it at all).

With starting to lose weight I am starting to feel a bit better towards myself. Of course other people benefit from that too. Bring on the new me in about 12-14 months time. It didn't happen all at once it won't come off all at once. IT WILL BE COMING OFF THOUGH. I deserve to be happy and healthy.

Tummy Girl
06-06-2009, 12:47 PM
I'm a life long heavy one too so it hasn't seemed terrible. I have found pictures around age 10 where I was drastically heavier than the other children my age and it just goes from there.

I gave up a lot when I was younger and a teenager but we're mostly so self conscious then, that who knows how much different it would have been. But honestly, if being shy helped me stay home and study and get good grades then that was great because I went to university got my degree and have done really well for myself size or not.

I am of the opinion now that my weight has served it's purpose, i had super low self esteem as a teenager and if some guy actually wanted to date me I could have got into a lot of trouble. It just doesn't serve all those purposes for me anymore, hence it's time for it to go.

06-06-2009, 09:59 PM
findmyself, my heart went out to you when I read your post.

I was never thin, as an adult 200 being my lowest weight. It hasn't stopped me from traveling. I do feel like it's taken away my freedom too, like Kira mentioned. I definitely have had the desire to try lots of sporty things like kayaking, scuba diving, even rollerskating and biking, that I feel too dang big to do now.

socially, I've let my weight inhibit me too, and I'm sure careerwise I let it sabotage my self confidence. I feel like I would have had a more adventurous romantic as well as sex life if I hadn't been so hung up with my weight issues.

of course, I ain't dead yet! ha. will be interesting to see what the future has to bring!

06-07-2009, 11:49 AM
I'm joining ranks with the people who said they gave up riding horses. I miss it so much it's not even funny.
I WILL go riding again when I'm smaller.
I have also given up on developing friendships, enjoying the sun, endulging in clothes and fashion and just plain living life to the fullest.
I too gave up my 20s and I'm dead scared I'm about to give up my 30s. I want my life back!