General chatter - Dating Advice?

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06-02-2009, 01:06 PM
Hello all,

I have not been on a "date" in years. This will be my first one in about 3 years or so.

The guy is a man I met off the internet. He has seen pictures of me and I have seen his. He is on the slender to average size. Super nice guy, we talked on the phone twice for about 3 hours at a time, we have alot in common.

I have recently lost 20 lbs, I think I look better than before but I am still insecure about my weight.

Do you have any advice or tips?

What should I wear? (we are going to a place to see two female musicians play, indie folk type music).

06-02-2009, 05:24 PM
Just be yourself and don't worry about your weight. Believe it or not some guys do like a girl with a little meat on her bones! If he already saw pictures of you and he still wants to go out, then he must be attracted to you. Relax and have fun!
Buy yourself a new outfit, so you'll feel great in what you're wearing. I notice that when I have new clothes on that I really like I'm much more confident!

06-03-2009, 12:17 AM
Thanks for the advice, I actually came and asked him and he said he has never been attracted to "waifs".

Now I just need to figure out what to wear.

06-03-2009, 12:19 PM
You can only try and see. Some guys will pleasantly surprise you..... there really ARE some guys out there that aren't attracted to the ultra skinny types. :)

Good luck..... and I agree with the go get yourself a nice new outfit comment above. If you can't afford that, try some new faux jewelry or something to spiff up your old stuff and make you feel a bit nicer. :)

06-04-2009, 01:34 AM
I have not been on a "date" in years. This will be my first one in about 3 years or so.

The guy is a man I met off the internet.

Do you have any advice or tips?

Yeah Google his name and email address and meet him in public places until you know him.

I have a few friends who date from the Internet and they have met some VERY weird people online and EVERYONE of them seemed cool in the beginning.

One person after a while revealed to my friend that they were on dialysis and needed a kidney! I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE! :D

And another friend went out with a guy a few times and later found out the guy lived at the Union Mission Homeless Shelter!

Check him out and save yourself some potential trouble.

06-04-2009, 11:19 AM
Just curious -- was the kidney guy telling the truth? If so, that doesn't make him "weird," just very unfortunate. It's not exactly the kind of thing you bring up on a first date.

06-04-2009, 11:41 AM
it's always good to exercise caution when meeting a total stranger, but don't go into it too guarded or it may negatively color your experience. in defense of internet dating, i've been on more internet dates than i'd like to admit (it's my primary source), and while i haven't met The One, they've all been pretty normal, nice guys. so they're not all wackos out there.

06-04-2009, 11:55 AM
Be safe!!Always be yourself, wear something that gives you confidence but is comfortable, probably the crowd will be dressed quite casual so don't over do it. keep the conversation light and informal. and Good luck!!!

06-04-2009, 12:08 PM
I met my hubby online. To be honest, I wasn't very impressed with him on our first date. He was so shy in person and so outgoing on the phone it was like he was a completely different guy. If I hadn't talked to him for about 15 hours on the phone before meeting him, I don't think there would have been a second or third real-life date. It was actually kind of funny, because for several dates we'd go out - and it would be so awkward, and then go to our homes and talk on the phone for three hours, or write pages and pages of email to each other.

If I had met him the conventional way, I probably wouldn't have given him a second glance.

Personally, I'd go for an outfit that you feel good in. For me, it was showing just a little cleavage in a flattering V-neck sweater.

06-04-2009, 12:30 PM
I would like to comment. I met my husband online. Different from you we "dated" for 6 months online, over the phone and through letters before we met in person. When we met in person I was still a little freaked out. Barely 18 going to pick someone up Ive never met with my dad at the airport. All worked out well, he proposed the day after we met in person and we married only 3 months later. That was 7 1/2 years ago we got married. While their are some strange people on the internet, it can also be a great way to meet people.

Wear something that makes you feel good and is comfortable, buy yourself something special doesn't have to be expensive at all just something as a gift to yourself for making this step. Be yourself.

06-08-2009, 09:19 PM
Thanks for all your advice, gals. The date went GREAT. We have another planned.


06-08-2009, 10:19 PM
Yay! How exciting!

I met my husband online. We dated online for a couple of months, and then for a year and a half before we moved in together. This July will be 5 years since we met.

Oh, and to flatiron, my hubby has renal disease and is on the transplant list. But that's not what made him sign up. Maybe the guy your friend met didn't want to tell her earlier because he was worried (and rightly so, it seems) about how judgemental people can be. People who are ill need love as well. Would you have been this harsh if he'd needed a lung or cardiac transplant?

Sorry, off my soapbox now.

06-10-2009, 03:21 PM
Have fun but PLEASE take your time and be very cautious. As with any kind of dating, take your time to really get to know the person as many will not be what they put in their profiles. ;)

Good luck and enjoy. :)

07-28-2009, 05:42 PM
Its amazing what losing some weight can do for someone.

It gave me the confidence to try dating again.

All of your dating and nutrition advice and support helped greatly!

Well almost 2 months later and this guy is now my very supportive and sweet BF.

Thanks 3FC for all your help!

I am still losing weight too, hang in there everyone! We can do it.

07-28-2009, 05:59 PM
How great! You made me smile today :)

07-28-2009, 10:14 PM
Happy for you. Thanks for the update. :)

07-29-2009, 11:21 AM
wow, what a good story! congrats

07-29-2009, 10:04 PM