Mini-Goals - My SIL's jacket (God love her...)

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05-30-2009, 12:27 AM
Hi all!

So, I noticed today that my SIL left her denim jacket at our home today. Now, I love my SIL. I really do. But she is constantly complaining about her weight and how she needs to lose some. And she is quite certain that she and I are the same size. And I hear lots of remarks about "when ladies have boobs as big as WE do..." and "noone understands how it is to be larger like US..." and "I have a shirt for you -- it is too big for me, but it might fit over your BOOBS just fine...". And I know that at one time I was indeed larger than her. But I've lost 65 lbs! And I don't have a good sense of just how big I am and she hasn't mentioned anything at all about my weight loss.

Anyways, she left her jacket at our home this morning. And I thought, well, let's just SEE if we are the same size. I mean, I don't perceive my body to be small, and maybe she is indeed right. Maybe we ARE the same size now -- maybe I was really, really big before -- and now we are the same size as she says. Or maybe she wants to be my size, so she equates my current size with her desired success, if you will...

So, I tried it on. And it was BIG on me. Her jacket was a size 16W, and if I was shopping for this particular jacket, I'd be trying on the 12. Which really amazed me because I truly don't see myself as smaller than her, and she too sees us as the same size. But there I was, swamped in her jacket...So I guess that her perception of my size hasn't caught up with the facts of the matter and I too have some perception adjustment to do. What a confusing day!

Go figure...


05-30-2009, 01:12 AM
i hear ya! i am constantly comparing myself to others, wondering if i am bigger or smaller. i actually cant tell! sometimes i have to ask my poor husband "am i skinnier than her"? it sounds awful to say that, but i am genuinely curious..

anyhow, congrats on the small sizes! like you mentioned, maybe she sees you as a good goal for herself. how exciting to be someone's inspiration!

05-30-2009, 01:14 AM
I always feel like that, too! I'll see a beautiful woman wandering down the street and say to my husband, 'I wish I was her size' and he gives me this look that says I'm crazy and says 'Honey, you ARE her size.'
Isn't it incredible what our preceptions can do to us?!
Give the jacket back to your SIL with a casual, 'I thought it was one of mine, but I tried it on and it swam on me.'

05-30-2009, 08:48 AM
I'm always looking at other women and trying to determine if I'm bigger or smaller than they are too!

Regarding your SIL, are you sure we don't have the same SIL? Mine is always making comments about "us larger ladies" and "we bigger gals". Even before this journey I was smaller than she is--I think. See, there I go again.

05-30-2009, 08:57 AM
I'd give it back to her without a comment. There's no need for hurt feelings.

My dear old friend Shirley was always slim. Two years ago I made her a vest in size 10. She laughed at me because she is now an 18 and I had never noticed. We have set perceptions of people.

05-30-2009, 09:12 AM
You are so right about our perceptions of ourselves ... or lack thereof. Yesterday I was at the post office and a larger, pretty lady was walking just ahead of me. I positioned myself so I could see both our reflections in the glass doors at the same time because I had no clue as to whether she was bigger or smaller than me and I was genuinely curious. (I was smaller!)

It's odd that we can't see ourselves clearly. When I was in my 20's, I was 180 at one point and went to WW and got down into the 130's. Here I am nearly 100 pounds heavier than my heavy weight at that time, but I don't perceive myself as any bigger than what I was then, although of course I "know" I am.

05-31-2009, 03:39 PM
So I saw my SIL - god love her- today and returned her jacket. I didn't say anything other than "you left your jacket at our place yesterday, and here it is!"
We were on our way to breakfast -- I think I am her 2nd official "eating buddy" (her DH is her first) and when we go out, I plan beforehand with respect to points counting on WW and then eat really lightly the rest of the day. I haven't told her I'm on WW, and she hasn't said anything about my weight loss, so I'm just going with the flow. But I LOVE WW because the flexibility of the program lets me do this...

05-31-2009, 03:55 PM
I can totally relate: a good friend of mine (who btw is 100 pounds soaking wet) not only has not noticed I've lost almost 30 pounds, but thinks we are the same size!!! I am really baffled by her perception of me. Maybe she's just not very observant :)

05-31-2009, 04:01 PM
Oh geez, you're 5'7" like me and I know when I was your weight I was solidly in a size 12 and sometimes a stretchy 10, of course you'd be floating in a 16W, I would be and I'm 10 lbs heavier! That's so funny, but such a great realization, good for you!

06-01-2009, 12:57 PM
What a great story!! That had to make you feel really good to be swimming in that jacket!! Also what great imspiration! I was thinking hmmm maybe at that weight I may be a size 12 too! I havent really aloud myself to thing that far ahead. Congratulations!

06-01-2009, 02:32 PM
I can totally relate to people like that. My old roommate was very self concious about her size, and, for some reason, remarking on my size would somehow make her feel better, I guess? So she used to comment about how if she couldn't fit into something, I couldn't fit into it either... except that she was about 4 sizes larger than I was! It used to frustrate me, because she'd make these depricating comments about me in front of my family, friends, dates *sigh* but you just have to learn to deal with it, and never snap back, because people will always have perceptions about your size... and so will you! Just try to feel fabulous, no matter what size you are!